Perfect Illusion: Scars Saga 2
by SweetSunnyRose
Summary: Devastated by her breakup with Remus and the loss of her brothers, Kate becomes Katherine. All is well until that fateful year Sirius escapes Azkaban and Remus returns to teach. Katherine's Perfect Illusion begins to unravel.
1. Prologue: Brightest Star

Hi! So glad you decided to join me on this escapade. This is the sequel to my first Harry Potter story, Scars. Reading that one first is recommended, though not entirely necessary. I do hope you enjoy, and, as always, I welcome your feedback.

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 **Prologue:**

 **The Brightest Star**

 _1 November 1981_

It was a day like any other, the day that changed everything. The streets outside were busy. Halloween was done, the Christmas shopping season had officially begun, and Jonathan was getting into trouble his uncles would be proud of.

He discovered how to make a toy fly when he was only a year old. Now, at two years, he had about ten toys zipping around the small flat, knocking into books and sending pictures falling to the floor. I was racing around the small flat trying to soften the blow of the falling objects.

When the photo of all of us at Harry's party smashed, I decided I'd had enough. I pulled out my wand and said, a little breathlessly, "Finite Incantatem."

Instantly all the toys froze in mid-air before coming to a gentle rest on the floor. Jonathan merely looked at me before grinning like a baby Cheshire cat. All ten toys rose back into the air and continued their previous flight. My head dropped listlessly as I heaved a great sigh. Jonathan laughed hysterically; it was hard to remain angry when he laughed like that. Soon, I was laughing too. His squeals magnified as I began tickling him.

"I am never leaving you alone with your uncles again. They are no good for you!" I said with a laugh.

Just then the door to my flat burst open. The toys came crashing down and I whipped around, wand drawn, ready to blast away the intruder who dare threaten my son's safety. Fortunately it wasn't an intruder, merely an over eager uncle.

"Merlin, Sirius! I know it's been a while, but did you really forget how to knock?"

Sirius simply stood motionless in the doorway, pale-faced and wide-eyed.

"Sirius? Sirius, what is it? What's happened?"

He stumbled, still speechless, to the couch. I locked the door behind him before hurrying over. Jonathan began to cry.

"Damn it, Sirius, snap out of it." I snapped my fingers in front of his face for emphasis. "You're scaring Jonathan, and me!"

Finally he looked up as though seeing me for the first time. "They're…they're dead."

"What?"

"They're dead," he repeated a little louder. I took a step back.

"No…No. They can't be…"

I refused to believe what he was saying. Dead? It wasn't possible. Jonathan was still wailing. He waddled over to Sirius, who subconsciously put an arm around the little tyke as he leaned into his leg.

"They're dead," he said again.

"Stop saying that! How is that even possible? They were…"

"He betrayed them. He betrayed all of us."

I couldn't breathe; my world was crashing around me, and I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. Sirius must have seen the panic in my eyes and it spurred him into action. He leapt from the couch and took my face in both of his hands.

"You have to leave; he's coming for you next."

"Leave? I can't…"

"You have to, Kate. He's killed them and he's coming for you. I'll be damned if I let him get to you."

"How much time do I have?" I asked, pushing back the tears for now.

"None. You have to leave now. Take only the necessities. You won't be able to come back."

"Jonathan…"

"I'll watch him while you pack." As if to prove a point, Sirius quickly swept Jonathan into his arms and cradled his teary eyes to his chest. "Now go!"

I needed no further commands. I turned and headed deeper into the small flat.

What exactly should one deem as necessity? Was it clothes? Gold? Books? Pictures? For me it was the latter two. Clothes could always be replaced, memories could not be. Fortunately many of my possessions were still in boxes, even after two years. With a wave of my wand I sent them someplace safe. Then I grabbed a bag and threw some clothes for me and Jonathan inside, along with the few pictures I did have up.

When I returned to the front room it was to find Sirius kneeling before Jonathan.

"You have to take care of your Mum now? Protect her. She's a stubborn cat, I know, and I know you like your mischief, but you have to manage it… for a bit." He kissed Jonathan's forehead before noticing my presence.

"Come with me," I said.

"Kate, I…"

"Come with me, Sirius, please." I dropped the bag and threw my arms around his neck. "Come away with me. We can be a family, the three of us. Please, Sirius."

"I can't let him get away with this. You know I can't. He killed James."

"Please, think about what you're about to do and then don't do it. For once in your life, just don't do it. And come away with me."

He pulled back and took my face in his hands. He kissed the top of my head like he had Jonathan's.

"You were always the brightest among us, you know. The brightest star." He laughed. "I love you."

It was my turn to laugh. "Is that the first time you've ever said that to a girl?"

"Yes. And I'll likely never say it again."

"Sirius…"

Suddenly a siren sounded and Sirius swore.

"The proximity alarm," he said. "He's here. You have to leave now, Kate."

I picked up my bag and grabbed a few last minute things, such as a few toys and the smashed photo. Then I grabbed Jonathan before turning back to Sirius again.

"I love you too."

"Go!"

I stepped, turned, and apparated away.

 **XXX**

I apparated around the country a few times before arriving in a Muggle village several hundred kilometers away from where I'd started. I was in the north country where the air was colder. I paused for a moment to grab a coat from the bag for Jonathan and to ensure that my disguise was in place before I moved into the village square.

The first order of business was to find an inn with a vacancy and a hot meal. Thinking of food brought a grimace to my face as I recalled I'd left dinner cooking back home. For half a moment I thought of returning to turn it off, but I knew that would be unwise.

Walking down the high street, I found the Inn easily enough. I ducked inside the heavy oak door just as a gust of wind whipped my hair around.

"Looks like it's going to be a cold winter," the woman behind the desk said.

She had no idea how cold I really was.

"What can I get for you, Dearie?"

"A room for the two of us, if you have it, and a place where one can find a hot meal…and a hot chocolate."

"And how long will you be staying?" she asked with a kind smile.

"Oh, uhmm… I…well…"

"You know, I think we can do a daily rate for you."

I smiled. "Thank you."

She smiled again, and began searching through her rooms. On the counter behind her she had a Muggle picture box playing. The image that was showing was one that struck me with horror and I couldn't stop the small gasp that escaped my lips. The woman heard me and looked back at the box herself.

"Oh my…" She shuffled over to the counter and pushed a hidden button on the side. Suddenly there was sound coming from the box; an unseen woman was speaking.

 _"…result of a faulty gas line. There are seven confirmed dead so far, but officials expect these numbers to rise. There are still parts of Rockwell Lane they cannot get to. Several are severely injured; homes are lost. Again Rockwell Lane has been closed due to a gas-line explosion…"_

"Oh! How awful," the woman said before turning back around. "Are you alright, Dearie? You look as though you've seen a ghost?"

Ghosts weren't nearly as frightening as Muggles seemed to think they were; at least, not the ones I'd met.

"I…I used to live there," I said.

"Oh! Well by the looks of it, you have yourself a guardian angel."

A guardian angel? He was more like a guard dog. _God, Sirius, what have you done?_

"Ah, here we go. Room fourteen is open for the next month, and it has a charming little nook for the young guy. Does that work for you?"

I nodded numbly.

"Great! And what name should I put it under, Dearie?"

"Ka…" I chocked on my words; tears I'd been holding back since Sirius' announcement threatened to spill forth. "Ka—Katherine Porter."


	2. Twelve Years Later

**Twelve Years Later**

 _31 August 1993_

"Jonathan! Let's go!" I called up the stairs. "I don't mind getting there later, but you wanted to see your friends!"

A moment later a pair of feet came bounding down the stairs and a blur passed by me.

"I'm waiting on you, Mum!"

I took a deep breath before turning to follow.

"You can drop the 'wise guy' right now. I'm not above grounding you the day before term starts."

The snarky teenager mumbled something incoherently under his breath, probably something to do with his "miserably frozen summer holiday" before smiling and offering a feeble apology. I bit back the remark I so wanted to issue. If there's anything I've learned from fourteen years of being a single mother, it's that patience is a virtue…and I have none. As _my_ son, neither did Jonathan. If one of us lost control the other was soon to follow.

We made our way out the front doors and down the long path to the gates in silence. It seemed most of our summer was spent in silence. Silence was better than the alternative of yelling I suppose.

Don't get me wrong. I love being a mother. It is the single, greatest joy in my life and I wouldn't trade any of it, especially the yelling matches, for anything. Still, I missed the days where he thought I was the greatest person to grace this earth.

Once we'd passed through the protective enchantments, I silently offered him my arm and we apparated to the Leaky Cauldron in London. The instant we arrived, Jonathan pulled his arm from mine and took off running for the back door.

"Thanks, Mum! See you later!"

"Buy your school supplies first! And don't forget to go my Madam Malkins!" I called after his retreating figure. I heaved a great sigh and pinched the bridge of my nose. I'd likely have to find him later and remind him.

For most parents whose kids attended an exclusive boarding school for nearly ten months of the year, I suppose the start of term brought on a sense of longing and dread for both parties. For the parent it was because it would be several months before they saw their child again. For the child it was because school was starting.

Start of term did neither for Jonathan and I. Partially because Jonathan and I would continue to see each other on a daily basis since I taught at his school. But mostly it was because Hogwarts was not your typical boarding school. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was just that, a school of magic for the young witch and wizard to hone their craft. I'd been teaching at Hogwarts for as long as Jonathan had been attending, four years.

I slowly made my way to the back of the Cauldron and through the back door into the little alley. I tapped the third brick above the trash bin with my wand to reveal the secret entrance to Diagon Alley. Diagon Alley was one of the magical hubs in London, and it's where most, if not all, the students of Hogwarts bought their school supplies. Diagon Alley offered more than just school supplies though.

On a lamp post just inside the arched entrance was a wanted poster for one Sirius Black. Black had recently escaped the wizard prison Azkaban and the wizarding world was going frantic over it. No one had ever escaped from Azkaban before. Black had been imprisoned for fifteen counts of murder, twelve of them were Muggles, and thirteen of them were committed at the same time. "Muggle" is the term used for someone who doesn't have magic. Seeing Black screaming like a mad banshee in the poster didn't fill me with fear like it did most. When I looked at Black all I felt was a great deal of loss and sadness.

After going by Gringotts, I went into Scribbulus for some ink my self-grading quills, among other things. I took my time going from shop to shop talking to a few students who weren't too embarrassed to be seen talking to a teacher outside of school. When I got to Flourish and Blotts, I really took my time. I loved browsing through the Astronomy and Transfiguration sections for the new arrivals. I picked up a few books that seemed interesting and figured I'd try reading them this year. As the Professor of Astronomy, all of my classes were held late at night.

As I was walking by Quality Quidditch Supplies, I saw a familiar mop of untidy black hair. I stepped in to say hi. I came upon the trio of friends as they were admiring a new broom model. I read the sign over their shoulder.

"Hmm…sounds impressive, but I'd still manage to fall off."

Two of the three gave a little start of surprise, but Harry seemed immune to it.

"Professor Porter!"

"Hi, Hermione, Ron. Hello, Harry."

"Hi, Ms.…er—Professor Porter," Harry stumbled as he ran a hand through his hair.

"We're not at school yet, Harry. 'Ms. Porter' will do just fine."

I have known Harry all his life; Jonathan and I lived across the street from his Aunt and Uncle where he stayed. For most of Harry's life I was Ms. Porter, his slightly loony neighbor. It wasn't until three years ago when he first started attending Hogwarts that I became Professor Porter. Harry was surprised to learn that both Jonathan and I had magic like he did, but he was quickly relieved when he realized he always had someone nearby who could relate to his awful Muggle guardians.

Not that I think Muggles are awful, just those two. Vernon and Petunia Dursley are the worst sort of Muggles imaginable. They know all about the Wizarding world since Petunia's sister, Harry's mother, had been a witch. But they were disgusted with that side of the family. They are as prejudiced about wizards as some wizards are about Muggles. If I had known just how poorly they treated Harry when he was younger, I would have taken him away long ago and raised him as my own. Consequences be damned.

"Did you have a nice summer, Professor?" Hermione asked.

"I did, thank you. The Australis was breath taking, and I swear, I've never seen so many stars in one place in my life. Though, I think Jonathan would dispute the matter."

At the end of last school year I was given the opportunity to observe the stars and view the Aurora Australis from the wizarding observatory Glacier Peake in Antarctica. It was an opportunity I couldn't turn down. Jonathan and I had just returned from our month long stay.

"How was your summer?" I asked.

"Wonderful!" said Hermione.

"Brilliant!" Ron exclaimed.

"My parents and I spent the summer in France."

"Ah, yes. The view from the Eiffel Tower is astonishing, though there aren't many stars to see there. What did your family do, Ron?"

"Dad won the Prophet's Galleon Draw. The whole family went to Egypt to see my oldest brother Bill!"

"Oh! That does sound exciting. I've never been to Egypt before; how were the stars?"

"Er—bright?" he offered with a shoulder shrug. I laughed. When I looked back to Harry though, he looked a little put out having been left behind all summer.

"Though, I am sorry I missed the Marge balloon," I said.

Harry's lip twitched into a smirk as he rubbed his hand over the back of his head. "You heard about that?"

I nodded "I did. What happened, Harry?"

"She was talking about my parents, and I lost control," he explained with a shrug. "She called my Dad a drunk, and…"

"She didn't!" I said loudly, causing passersby to look at us oddly. "That flea-bitten toe-rag. She's lucky I wasn't there. I would have done a lot worse than blow her up."

"Professor!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Right. Sorry. That was the wrong reaction, wasn't it? That was bad, Harry. Very bad. We do not use our magic to take revenge on Muggles…even if they are flea-bitten toe-rags who deserve it."

Harry and Ron laughed; Hermione, however, didn't seem too pleased.

"You're brilliant, Professor," Ron said.

"Thank you, Ron. Would you do me the favor and remind my son of that? He seems to have forgotten it this summer. Speaking of Jonathan, have any of you seen him?"

"No, sorry," they all three said with a shake of their head.

"Wait! There he is!" Hermione said. "He just went into Madam Malkin's."

"Oh good. So he was listening. Well, I will leave you three to it. I'll see you back at the Cauldron for supper."

I waved goodbye and continued on my way. I stopped by Sugarplum's to pick up some chocolate; though it wasn't as good as Honeydukes so I would have to make a trip to Hogsmeade as soon as I could. When I felt all my shopping was complete, I returned to the Leaky Cauldron.

"Katherine!" a friendly, motherly sort of voice called out to me as I entered the front part of the Cauldron.

"Molly," I greeted the woman with a hug. "Arthur."

"Hullo, Katherine. How are you?" Arthur said as he hugged me.

"Brilliant, according to your son," I said.

Arthur and Molly Weasley have been dear friends of mine since the end of my first year teaching when I met them at King's Cross as we waited for the Hogwarts Express to return. Jonathan had wanted to ride the train back to London with his friends. I had some work to finish up at the castle, so it worked out well. Jonathan usually spent the last couple of weeks at the Burrow (as the Weasley's called their family home) while I made preparations at the school. This year was different, however. What with our trip to Glacier Peake and the Weasley's trip to Egypt.

"So, tell me all about Egypt." Molly's face lit up like the Australis as we made our way over to a table.

The three of us sat around one of the tables with some tea as we regaled each other with our trips. We were talking and laughing for more than an hour before the kids began returning. When they were all back we moved to a private dining room for dinner. Jonathan stayed at the far end with the twins.

"Twenty minutes, Jonathan, and then we have to go!" I called as he and the twins began to leave the table. "Jonathan Porter! Listen to me when I…"

"Yes, Mum! I heard you. Twenty minutes." And he was gone before I could say anything else. Fortunately the room was empty apart from Molly and Arthur. I bit the inside of my lip to keep the tears from falling.

"I swear, Molly, you're a saint. You both are, for raising six boys. I don't know how you do it."

"How long has he been giving you attitude like that?" Arthur asked.

"I guess it began at the end of last school year, when I got the offer to go to Glacier Peake. Truth be told, my summer holiday was pretty miserable. I mean, there I was with some of the most amazing skies I've ever seen and I couldn't properly enjoy them. I know he's not into astronomy the way I am, no one ever has been, but I thought…I thought it would be something memorable we could do together. How many people can say that they've spent a month on Antarctica during its winter?" I swiped at the tears falling from my eyes. "Maybe it's my fault; maybe I shouldn't…"

"Now you stop right there, Katherine," Molly said sternly. "None of this is your fault. You have done nothing wrong. You have raised a brilliant and talented boy. It's just…"

"…he's fourteen now," Arthur continued. "He's at that age where boys tend to learn more from their fathers than their mothers. It has nothing to do with you."

I smiled through my tears at their words. "His father? And what does a mother do when the father is no longer in the picture?"

Molly smiled sadly as she placed her hands over mine. "You never did tell us what happened between you and his father. Is there any chance?"

"Molly!" Arthur said reproachfully.

"Oh! Your right, Arthur. I'm sorry, Katherine, you don't have to say anything."

I smiled a little more. "It's alright, Molly." I sighed. "Nothing happened between us. Well…that's not true is it? A lot of 'something' happened, but then there was a lot more nothing. We were young; it was the seventy's. He wasn't ready for children and he ran. So I turned and ran in the opposite direction. But no, I don't think there's any chance, not after all these years."

"Well… In that case…" she smiled wickedly in a way that reminded me of her sons. "There's always our son, Bill. He's single, you know, and very handsome…"

"And too young for me," I said with a laugh. This wasn't the first time she'd suggested I date her son.

"You're not that much older than he is. What is it, five, six years?"

"How old is he again?"

"Twenty-three." She smiled fondly.

I laughed loudly. "Try more like eleven years."

"What! No! You can't be…"

"'Fraid so."

"But you look so young! How do _you_ do it?"

"I'll let you in on a little secret of mine…" I leaned forward and whispered. "I know magic."

"Oh! You!" She sat back and laughed. Then she began to touch some of the wrinkles on her face as though trying to smooth them. Arthur quickly pulled her hands away from her face.

"You're beautiful, Molly, stop it," he said.

The tender smile they shared was darling…and heart-wrenching. I had to look away.

"Now, if you will excuse me. It has been far more than twenty minutes; I must go and fetch my son."

"Katherine," Arthur said as I stood to leave. "Let him stay. We'll see to it that he gets on the train."

"Are you certain you don't mind the extra body?"

"Not at all, Dearie," Molly said as she stood up to hug me. "And I'm not giving up on you and Bill."

"Now I know where Fred and George get their sense of humor from. Goodnight, Molly. Goodnight, Arthur."

I hugged them each once more before heading upstairs. The hallway was narrow and I nearly bumped into Harry as he left Ron's room.

"Oh! Sorry, Ms. Porter."

"That's alright, Harry. Do you know which room Jonathan is in?"

At that very moment there was a soft explosion sound.

"Never mind," I said.

Harry laughed. "Have you see Ron's rat tonic?"

"Why does Ron need rat tonic?"

"It's for his rat, Scabbers. He's really old and I guess Egypt didn't suit him. So Ron bought some rat tonic hoping it would make him better. Only now he can't find it."

"No, sorry, I haven't seen it. You can check with Tom at the bar. If someone found it, they would have turned it in there."

"Thanks. Are… are you all right?"

I smiled. "I'm fine. Just a bit tired. There was hardly any sunlight at Glacier Peake so my sleep schedule was thrown off. It's nothing a few good night's…or rather day's rest won't solve. I'll see you at school tomorrow, Harry."

Before leaving I absent-mindedly decided to reach up and flatten Harry's hair. I was unsuccessful; I always was.

"I don't know why I even try anymore," I said. Harry chuckled. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Night, Ms. Porter."

I moved down the hall as Harry made for the stairs. I lightly tapped on the door from where the explosion had occurred. There was frantic shuffling inside before the door was cracked to reveal a signature flaming red hair.

"It's only Professor Porter; it's alright."

"Hello, Fred. Is my son in there?"

"Hold on let me check." He stepped back from the door a little, allowing it to open further in the process. I could see singed spots dotted on the floor but decided not to question it.

"Is there a Mi-son in here? Mi-son anyone? Sorry, Professor," Fred said with a grin as he turned back around.

I looked over his shoulder at the boy sitting on the bed. "Jonathan…"

"Five more minutes, Mum, please. We've almost…"

"Jonathan, come here," I said calmly.

"Mum, please, we nearly…"

I gave him the look that always used to work when he was younger. Surprisingly it had the same affect now. He grudgingly came to the door, muttering his goodbyes.

"I am leaving for the castle now."

"But…"

"You…" I cut across him sternly, "…will be arriving via the express tomorrow night."

His eyes widened. "Really!"

"You will listen to Molly and Arthur and do everything they say. Do you understand?"

"Yes! Yes thank you!"

"Now, where are your books? I will take them with me."

"Here," he handed over a few bags. "But what do I do about clothes in the morning?"

"Did you go by Madam Malkin's like I said?"

"Yes. But I can't wear my robes all day. The Muggles will think I'm mental."

"You could always come back to Hogwarts with me…and stay there," I added quickly.

"Er—on second thought, it's really not that long of a walk through King's Cross."

"Not to mention you are mental," George called out.

"There's that too," Jonathan agreed.

"Right, so I will see you all tomorrow night. Oh, and boy's, whatever furniture you damage make sure you repair it before you leave in the morning. 'Reparo' works for most things, and if that doesn't work, consult with Miss Granger."

"Damage? Really, Professor Porter, we have no idea what you're talking about," Fred said with a grin that George matched.

"Of course not." My eyes flicked down to the singed spots before looking back up at all three boys. "Goodnight."

I turned and left just as Harry was ducking back inside his room.


	3. An Unwelcome Appointment

**So, I know I said I would only update once a week, but I also believe that you need a few chapters to really get into a story. Also... I had a great response to the first chapter. So here you go! Look for another update around Friday.**

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 **Chapter 2**

 **An Unwelcome Appointment**

 **I arrived** just outside of Hogsmeade. It was too late to get my chocolate now, but I felt I needed the extra long walk to clear my head. With everything that had been going on with Jonathan this summer, to talk of his father, even to Black's escape, there was a lot running through my mind.

I hadn't thought of Jonathan's father in years. There once was a time when he was all I could think about. The pain of his departure kept me up at night, until I accepted the truth. Lately, however, thoughts of him had begun to resurface, and not just tonight. It was difficult to keep all thoughts of him away, especially when Jonathan looked so much like him. The way he styled his hair, the way he instantly made friends with a pair of mischief makers, even the way he laughed all reminded me of his father.

I knew Jonathan needed a father, perhaps at this age more than ever. I told Molly there wasn't a chance of his real father coming back into his life, but I began to wonder how true that statement was. What would his father say today, if he knew how things had turned out? What words of wisdom would he pass on to his son?

I had unknowingly stopped and I was staring up at the full moon as I contemplated on whether or not I should try to reach out to his father, when suddenly the air around me turned icy cold. It was nearly as cold as the air at Glacier Peake. The chill was quickly followed by a bout of great sadness. Every horrible moment I had faced, every terrible loss I had suffered came rushing to the surface.

I fumbled for my wand inside my robe. It took very little effort to conjure up the spell I needed anymore. Within seconds a bright silver Patronus burst from the tip of my wand and chased away the Dementor. When the threat was gone, my Patronus returned to me and sat at my feet. It looked up at me, tail curling around its paws, as though it was waiting for further instructions.

"Come on then," I said, and my silver leopard accompanied me back to the castle.

The air in the castle was warm and inviting; it always felt like home to me. I sent Jonathan's books floating back to his dormitory while I headed for my own quarters.

"Ah, Professor Porter, you've returned."

I turned in the direction of the voice to see Dumbledore walking towards me.

"Good evening, Headmaster," I replied.

"You know you may call me by name now."

"And I've asked the same of you."

"I will gladly use your name, when you choose to acknowledge it."

I sighed. The subject of names was a tired disagreement between us. "'Katherine' is my name, Albus. 'Kate' died twelve years ago, along with everything else."

The old Professor smiled sadly, but he let the matter drop. "Where is Jonathan?"

"At the Leaky Cauldron with the Weasleys. He wanted to ride the train back."

"Ah, very good then. Do you have moment? There are a few things I'd like to discuss before the students arrive."

"Does one of those things include the Dementors you have out by the gate?" I asked as we turned and headed for his office.

"So, you've met them have you?"

"One of them had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting my Patronus."

"Ah. I didn't want them here, so you know. I did what I could; Fudge wanted them roaming the halls."

"Well Fudge is a bit of loon. I'm guessing it is because of Sirius?"

"It is," he nodded. "We wanted to make certain that he would not be able to get to anyone in the castle." He looked at me as he said that.

"Sirius wouldn't recognize me. He never met Katherine. Jonathan and Harry, however, look so much like their fathers."

"So you see our concern. The Dementors will keep watch on the perimeter, but they are under strict orders not to come onto school grounds."

By now we'd made our way up the spiral staircase and into his office. The portraits of previous Headmasters were all sleeping, or at least pretending to be. Fawx, however, awoke the moment we entered and Dumbledore greeted him with a treat.

"The other matter I wished to discuss," he continued, "was the change in our staff members."

I nodded along. Of course I knew there would be a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Especially after the last one had obliterated his own memory when he tried to curse Harry and Ron.

"Silvanus decided to retire at the end of last year. I have selected Hagrid to take his place."

"That's a brilliant choice, Professor. I don't think anyone loves magical creatures as much as Hagrid does."

"My thoughts exactly. As for the other opening, it will be filled by this man here. He will be arriving aboard the Hogwarts Express tomorrow."

Dumbledore handed me a file. I thought it strange that he would hand me a file as opposed to simply telling me who he had hired. But when I read the name and saw the accompanying picture, I immediately understood. Albus Dumbledore was frightened of what my reaction would be. I dropped the file back on his desk.

"What are you getting at, Dumbledore? Are you joking? Please tell me this is your idea of a sick joke."

"I am quite serious, Ms. Porter."

I stood up and began to pace. "Why? What would make you do this? How is this even possible? Are you going to send him back through the tunnel each month? You know he hated it there, don't you?"

"Severus has agreed to make the Wolfsbane potion for him. He will be able to sleep it off in the comfort of his own room."

"Snape _agreed_ to help you with this? Are you so sure he won't try to slip a little poison in there too?"

"You almost sound as though you still care for him."

"No! Of course…I do…I don't…I…" It was hard to sort out what I was feeling at the moment.

"Severus will not poison him. He has given me his word."

I scoffed, but Dumbledore ignored me.

"In light of the circumstances perhaps you should consider coming forth."

"No!" I said instantly. "He is not to know about me or about Jonathan." Strange. Hadn't I been considering reaching out to him only a few minutes ago? Now that it seemed the decision was being forced on me, I was turning away from it.

"We agreed the Heads of House would know, but that is where it ends. Now, unless you wish to replace McGonagall as the Head of Gryffindor, which good luck with that, then he is to remain unware of my true identity. I am Katherine Porter, Astronomy teacher, and graduate of Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

Dumbledore heaved a great sigh. Clearly he was hoping I would choose a different path, a better path in his opinion.

"Very well, I will not say anything. And I will instruct the other Professors not to say anything either. However, I do have one final request. As your schedule is the most open during the day, I ask that you aid our newest member should he need it."

"Aid him how?"

"Simply keep a class or two for him should the need arise? You will not need to worry about creating a separate lesson plan or grading his papers; those responsibilities will be his."

"You did say this was a request, right?"

"Yes it is merely a request since you have the most free-time."

"Can I think about it?"

"Certainly. Take the time you need."

"Is there anything else you wish to discuss, Sir?"

"That is all for now, Ms. Porter. I hope you have a wonderful night, and I will see you at the Welcome Feast if not before."

"Goodnight, Professor."

I turned and left as quickly as good manners would allow me to. It seemed life was being cruel once more. I didn't have to worry about reaching out to Jonathan's father, because his father was coming to Hogwarts.

 **XXX**

Sleep did not come easy, despite the exhaustion I felt. I tossed and turned, fighting off old memories that wanted to haunt me. It seemed my brain thought it was necessary to remind me of all the pain _he'd_ caused. It was somewhere around three before I finally did manage to find sleep, and then I stayed in bed until eleven. There was a lot of work I needed to finish before the students arrived.

I got dressed and went to wash my face when I noticed that the image reflected back at me was not my own. Well… it was; it was me as I used to be: pale face, bright blue eyes, a scar underneath one eye, and another along the opposite cheek bone. The image belonged to Kate, not Katherine. My dreams must have overcome my enchantments.

I closed my eyes and tried to steady my rapidly beating heart. Seeing _her_ was too much right now.

 _I am Katherine Porter, Astronomy teacher at Hogwarts, graduate of Ilvermorny. I am Katherine Porter…_

As I let those thoughts replay in my mind, I could feel the magic taking hold. With a bit of transformation and charm work, Katherine came to the surface. It was a groovy little spell I'd created myself. During the war it became necessary for a disguise; my scars were fairly distinctive. If I was found by the wrong wizard the result could have been catastrophic for me and for Jonathan.

When I opened my eyes again, I was confronted with what had become my normal look. My skin was still pale; there was nothing I could do about that, but sun exposure and even that didn't seem to work. My scars were gone, of course. My cheek bones were a little higher, and my nose a little thinner. I couldn't change pigmentation, so my eyes were still blue but thanks to a hair coloring solution I could have any shade of hair I desired. It was currently a much lighter auburn than the traditional dark brown. The changes were small, but they were enough.

Finally ready for the day, I left my room. Having missed breakfast, I swung by the kitchens for an apple and some pumpkin juice before going by McGonagall's office. I tapped lightly on her open door before stepping in.

"Well, good morning, Katherine. I was about to send someone to check on you."

I grimaced as I swallowed a bite of my apple. "Sorry, Professor. It was a rough night. What did I miss at breakfast?"

"Nothing much. Did Dumbledore speak with you about the staff changes?"

"Yes, hence the rough night," I said as I lounged in a chair across from her desk.

She smiled apologetically.

"Please, don't do that. It just makes it worse. "

"You're right, it does. I'm sorry."

I sighed. "During the hours I couldn't sleep, I thought, and I came to a conclusion. I'm not going to let his presence in the castle affect me. Or try not to at least. Besides, maybe being here will be good for him."

McGonagall looked at me, her silent question written in her eyes.

"He was different here, in school. He was different in the castle. But once we left these walls and went out there in the world, he changed. Or perhaps the war changed him; I don't know. Maybe being back here will be good for him."

"Maybe it will be good for you both?"

I shot her a look. "Careful, Minerva. You sound an awful lot like Dumbledore when you say things like that."

She smiled. "So he spoke with you about telling your secret as well?"

"Yes and my answer is the same: no. I won't tell him. He lost the right to know when he chose the wolves over me."

"The wolves were his mission, Katherine."  
"Perhaps, but some things were more important than a mission, and he didn't see that. No matter how many times I tried to make him. So…" I floated my apple core to the waste bin and swiped at my tears. "Anything else I should know?"

"Here is your time table," she said, getting down to business as she handed it over. "Look over it and make sure all is well. We have a little less than five hours before the train is set to arrive."

"Which means I should probably get to work then; I still have yet to unpack. I will see you at the feast." I made my way towards the door.

"Oh, and Katherine," McGonagall called out. I stuck my head back in the doorway. "How was Glacier Peake?" she asked with a smile.

"It was breath taking!"

 **XXX**

Jonathan opened the compartment door and slid into one of the empty seats. He stretched his legs out to the seat across the way and leaned back with his hands behind his head.

"Hello Harry, Ron. Granger." He smirked. Ron and Harry returned his greeting; Hermione however, looked at him with slight disapproval and a faint tint to her cheeks.

"Don't you have trouble to cause somewhere?" she asked as she stroked her hand down the back of her new cat.

"I've already done my bit; I'll leave the execution for them. Who's that?" He tilted his head to the corner where a man in shabby robes lay sleeping with his head on the window.

"The new defense teacher we suppose," Harry answered.

"Do you really think he's up for it? It sort of looks like one good hex could finish him off," Ron said.

"Well he can't be any worse than Lockhart, can he?" Jonathan said.

"How was your summer?" Hermione asked.

Jonathan grimaced. "Freezing. Dark. Miserable. I don't know why she had to drag me along."

"Your mum couldn't have left you alone all summer, surely."

"Who said anything about being alone? I would have invited everyone over." Jonathan grinned again and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"That's why she took you," she muttered under breath.

"At least you didn't have to spend another summer with the Dursleys," Harry said.

"There is that," Jonathan agreed. "And, don't tell my Mum I said this, but…the Australis was kind of cool. Though, I could have done without those old codgers trying to chat up my Mum."

Outside the train sped on and the rain fell harder. The skies grew darker until the lamps flickered on. The professor in the corner continued to sleep while the four friends chatted away.

"I'm starving. Are we nearly there yet?" Ron asked as he tried to look out the window.

Suddenly the train started to slow down and the pistons grew quieter.

"Excellent!" Ron stood to grab his things but Hermione stopped him.

"We can't be there yet," she said.

"Then why are we stopping?"

Harry got up to look out the door and saw that several other people had the same idea; though, none knew any more about what was going on than he did. The train stopped with a sudden lurch, sending Hermione's cat to the floor. The ginger fur ball then leapt into Jonathan's lap.

"What's going on?" Jonathan asked as Harry returned to his seat.

"Have we broken down?" Ron said when the lights went dark.

"I dunno," Harry replied.

"Crookshanks, come here." Hermione tapped her lap and the cat left Jonathan's lap for hers.

"There's something moving out there," Ron said as he wiped fog off the window and peered out. "Someone's coming on board."

The compartment door slid open and there was a great deal of noise as Neville and Ginny stumbled in and tried to find a seat that wasn't someone else's lap.

"I'm going to go ask the driver what's going on," Hermione said, but before she could get up their sleeping rider woke up.

"Quiet! Everyone," he said in hoarse voice.

Suddenly there was a light emanating from the corner. Everyone's attention turned to their new professor and saw he held a handful of flames. The orange light illuminated his face and accentuated the scars.

"Wicked," Jonathan said quietly. If the professor heard him, he did not acknowledge it,

"Stay where you are," he said as he stood.

The professor then headed for the door, but before he could reach it, it slid open once more. There stood a tall, looming figure in dark robes that hid its face. Jonathan looked down and noticed that it wasn't standing so much as it was hovering above the ground. The hooded figure drew in a deep, rattling breath.

A great coldness overcame Jonathan. He felt as though he was suddenly back on Antarctica standing out on the ice without his coat. Then a string of broken images filled his mind.

 _A man burst through a door._

 _There were muffled, strangled voices._

 _Someone was crying._

 _Then the same man who had come through the door was kneeling before Jonathan. "You have to take care of your Mum. Protect her."_

 _There was more crying. His mum's sorrow was deep and endless._

Then it all stopped. A bright light filled the compartment. The hooded figure turned and glided away.

"Harry? Harry…"

Jonathan looked beside him where Harry had been sitting, only Harry wasn't there anymore. He was laying on the floor; Hermione and Ron at his side. His eyes opened slowly and they helped him back into his seat.

"Wh—what happened? What was that? Who screamed?" he asked.

"No one was screaming, Harry," Hermione said carefully.

"I felt awful though, like I'd never be cheerful again," Ron said.

"I heard my Mum crying," Jonathan said lowly. "And a man was talking to me."

There was a loud cracking sound. They all looked at the professor; he was breaking a large chocolate bar into several pieces.

"What was that thing?" Harry asked him as he handed Harry a piece of chocolate.

"A Dementor of Azkaban," the professor answered. "They were looking for Sirius Black. Dementors force you to relive your most horrible moments."

"I think…I think I saw the day my dad left," Jonathan said.

"Eat the chocolate, it will help. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go have a word with the driver." The professor turned for the door again. "Eat."

As he left, Jonathan took a bite of his chocolate and immediately felt warmth spread to his limbs. Try as he might though, he couldn't shake the image of the man. Moreover, he couldn't shake the feeling that he had seen him somewhere else.


	4. Bitter Bile

**Ah! Thank you all for the alerts and the reviews! I love them! I can't believe I was actually able to hold out on posting this. It was killer, but enough of the wait. Let's get to it!**

* * *

 **Chapter 3:**

 **Bitter Bile**

I went to my office after leaving McGonagall's. I figured I could always unpack after the feast or even in the morning. The hours slowly ticked away, but it wasn't the dull, boring sort of slow. I had plenty of work to occupy me. I was actually surprised that the hours didn't pass quickly _because_ I had so much work. The benefits of working efficiently, I suppose.

I paused briefly around two for a tuna fish sandwich. My inner feline was very pleased at Glacier Peake with all the fish that was made readily available to guests. By four o'clock I was feeling fairly pleased with my progress. I had my lessons planned out for my first two days; I could sort the rest out over the weekend. My first class of the year would be a simple and pleasant one, with first year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws.

I was on my way back to my room to shower and get ready for the feast when McGonagall's Patronus came up to me.

The silver tabby said, "The Express has been delayed. It will arrive in Hogsmeade by five thirty."

The Patronus dissipated and I quickly sought out McGonagall for an explanation. She was in her office still.

"What's happened?"

"The students are fine," she said quickly. "Dementors stopped the train to search for Black."

"Dementors boarded the train? What about Jonathan? Harry?"

"Jonathan is fine," she answered.

"And Harry?"

"Harry took…ill, but he's fine now. I'm sure," she said quickly. "Our newest Professor acted swiftly."

"Our new…of course he did."

"The children are fine, Katherine. They will just be a little late. I suggest you return to your room and try to relax."

Right, relax, because all mothers were capable of relaxing when their child was potentially threatened by Dementors. I left McGonagall's office feeling agitated and ill at ease. I returned to my room as suggested and showered, but I was unable to relax. Fortunately, the hour and a half passed quickly.

I stood in the entrance hall dressed in my school robes as the students began filing in. A few of them paused their conversations concerning the Dementors to greet me as they passed. I did my best to smile and greet them back. At last I saw the group of friends arrive.

"Jonathan! Harry!" I placed a hand to each of their faces and kissed the tops of their heads. Jonathan immediately pulled back and tried to wipe the kiss away; Harry was more discreet about it.

"Are you both alright?" I asked.

"Yes, Mum," Jonathan replied, still brushing away the kiss and looking around to see if any of his friends had noticed it.

"Harry?"

"I'm fine, Professor Porter. You didn't have to worry about me."

"I'm afraid a mother never stops worrying about her children, Harry, even if they aren't really her children."

Harry smiled.

"Speaking of mothering kids that aren't our own, Professor McGonagall would like to see you and Miss Granger in her office immediately." Harry looked surprised, but Hermione seemed to be expecting it. "And Harry, I'm afraid she's going to mother you some more. It's best to just go with it."

As Ron proceeded on to the Great Hall, I turned my attention back to Jonathan. He removed the hand I still had to his cheek.

"Jonathan..."

"I'm fine, Mum," he said sharply. I sighed and closed my eyes. "Really," he added in a softer tone. "The new Professor was in our compartment. He was a bit brilliant back there."

"I would have thought it was more than a 'bit' brilliant."

His voice was instantly recognizable, even after nearly fifteen years. It sent a shockwave through me. As our eyes met my breath caught in my throat and time froze. You know how they say your life is supposed to flash before your eyes when you die? Well, I've nearly died, a few times, and that never happened. But it happened then. Every memory I had of him, the good and the bad, raced through my mind in the span of a single heartbeat.

He held his hand out towards me. His lips moved but with the roaring in my ears I couldn't hear a thing. Somehow it didn't matter; I knew what he was saying.

 _Remus Lupin._

I stood motionless. I was paralyzed by memories, from the first time he held out his hand to me to every time I held it thereafter. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. Suddenly a sharp nudge interrupted my thoughts.

"Mum…" Jonathan said. His eyes flashed between me and Remus.

I quickly took his hand and smiled. "Kat…Katherine Porter. Sorry. I must be a bit dazed from the news of the Dementor attack still."

"I think she could use some of your chocolate, Professor Lupin," Jonathan said.

Remus began patting the pockets of his robes, looking for more chocolate.

"No!" I said a bit hastily. His eyebrows rose in question. "No…I mean, that's all right. I have a whole chocolate cake waiting for me at the end of the feast. Perk of being a teacher: we get to submit our favorite deserts every year.

"Oh! And speaking of the feast, Jonathan, you should get in there. You wouldn't want to miss anything." I began to nervously fiddle with his hair and he had to pull back.

"I think I'm good, Mum. The first years haven't arrived for the sorting yet."

"Well, I think I hear them coming. Best get moving then." I tried pulling him in for another kiss on the head, but again he pulled back.

"Not again, Mum, please. Someone might see."

"Perk of being of a mother!" I began as he walked away, "eternal humiliation of the child!" My eyes followed him into the Great Hall, so I didn't notice Remus walk up beside me.

"He seems like a good kind," he said. I gave a little start before looking over at him.

"He is… Most of the time…when he's not getting into trouble with the Weasley twins," I explained. Remus smiled and I felt a pang in my chest.

Fortunately, Flitwick chose that moment to arrive with the first years. I excused myself and entered the Great Hall for the feast.

 **XXX**

 _30 January 1979_

 _I flushed the contents of my now empty stomach down the loo and sat with my back against the cool wall. I hated feeling like I had no control over my own body. I breathed in deep and slow and tried to push aside the nausea that threatened to take hold again. When would this be over?_

 _There was a gentle knock on the door followed by the concerned voice of Lily._

 _"Kate?"_

 _"I'm…ug—fine." I called back, nearly choking on a gag. I pinched my eyes shut, desperately fighting the urge._

 _"Are you sure, Kate? I…I'm coming in."_

 _"No! No…please don't, I…"_

 _Too late the door was opening and I lost my battle. I quickly resumed my previous post over the toilet._

 _"Merlin's beard, Kate." Lily rushed over to my side. She held my hair back for me waited for the spell to pass. When I was able to pull back and lean against the wall again, she summoned a cup and filled it with water from the tap. I drank it carefully._

 _"Do you want me to go get Remus?"_

 _"No," I whispered as I grabbed her sleeve. "Stay."_

 _I could tell she looked uncertain, but she settled in next to me on the floor. She wrapped her arm around me as I gingerly laid my head on her shoulder. We didn't talk; we sat in a calm silence, a rarity in the war. Beyond the bathroom door we could hear the muffled laughs of the guys. James and Sirius could find the humor in any situation. As I sat with Lily, I couldn't help but think that it was nice to not feel so alone for a change._

 _After several minutes of silence, I finally felt stable enough to talk and move. I sat up slowly._

 _"Sorry for ruining your birthday," I said._

 _"You haven't ruined anything, Kate," she said._

 _Really? Lately, I felt like everything was being ruined and falling apart._

 _I tried pushing myself off the floor. Lily quickly jumped to her feet and helped me. I mumbled my thanks and stumbled to the sink to wash up._

 _"Why didn't you tell me you were sick, Kate? We could have rescheduled."_

 _"It wouldn't have made a difference. I would have been sick then too."_

 _"Have you been getting sick often?" she asked, looking concerned._

 _"In a manner of speaking," I said softly._

 _"Kate?"_

 _I sighed. So much for keeping things to myself. I'd have to let her know now. Otherwise she'd think I was ill, like Mum and Dad had been before they died. I reached for the towel before turning to face my best friend._

 _"I'm not_ _ **sick**_ _, Lily."_

 _I eyed her carefully, willing her to piece it together on her own. I really didn't want to say it aloud. Lily was bright; I knew if she thought about it she would figure it out without my having to tell her. Slowly her eyes widened. There it was._

 _"Ohmigod! Kate, are you p…."_

 _"Shh! Don't say it…please." I nearly chocked on a silent sob. Saying it out loud meant it was true._

 _Lily clapped her hands over her mouth and smiled. She let out a silent squeal before she threw her arms around me. Her excitement was contagious, and I felt myself giving the tiniest of smiles…before the depression seeped back in._

 _"Oh! This is so exciting! You must be thrilled! Why didn't the two of you tell us? We could have celebrated together! I'm so happy for you! I'm so happy for me! I can't believe I'm going to be an Aunt!"_

 _I sobbed quietly into Lily's shoulder._

 _"I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner. Why didn't you tell me?" she asked again as she pulled back to arm's length. I was free to wipe away my tears._

 _"I haven't told anyone, Lily," I explained. "Believe me, you would have been the first…or perhaps the second. Definitely among the top three; you know how James gets when he's not the first to know something." My tone was far from enthusiastic and Lily picked up on it straight away._

 _"Kate? Why do you not sound as happy about this as I am?"_

 _"Because…I was hoping I was wrong, but that is looking less and less likely with each day," I said with a sob._

 _"Aww. Kate, what's wrong?" Lily asked, turning sympathetic._

 _"I don't know….Everything… Remus and I aren't in the same place we were a year ago. We're not even in the same place we were six months ago! Do you know when we were last intimate? Let's see…Merlin! I can't even remember….Has it really been that long? I'm guessing about two months…when_ _ **this**_ _happened!_

 _"That's complete shite isn't' it? There once was a time where we couldn't keep our hands off each other, but now… We don't talk anymore; he shut's me out. And when we do manage to start a conversation, it somehow always turns into an argument where one or both of us walk away._

 _"You know, it all seemed to start falling apart when he started running with the other wolves. I really hate that he does that. I hate that Dumbledore_ _ **asks**_ _him to do it. He seems to think he owes Dumbledore or something because Dumbledore took a chance on him by letting him attend Hogwarts. Now he has to pay him back by spending all his time with murderous monsters. I've asked him to stop, but he won't listen to me._

 _"I'm so sick of this war, Lily! I'm sick of it tearing everything apart!" I finally let out all the anger and frustration that I'd been holding in for so long. Lily gracefully allowed me to use her toilet as a place to vent such feelings, and I found myself in another Lily hug._

 _"Oh, Kate. I had no idea. I'm so sorry."_

 _"But you wouldn't know, would you? We didn't want anyone to know we were having problems so we didn't tell anyone. We just put on a smile and pretend that everything is fine, when it's really anything but."_

 _"It's just a rough patch, Kate. Every couple has them. It will get better. I'm sure he's already told Dumbledore that he can't spy on Greyback anymore, not with a baby on the way."_

 _I looked at Lily again, willing her to figure out what I couldn't say._

 _"You…you haven't told him, have you?"_

 _I shook my head and bit my lip as more tears spilled forth._

 _"Kate," Lily said admonishingly._

 _"I know, Lily, I know. It's just….I'm scared to tell him. He won't marry me; he won't give me his name because he's afraid of degrading me or some ridiculous shit like that. Do you really think that having a…that having a…that_ _ **this**_ _would change anything?"_

 _"Yes. Having a…" she mouthed the word 'baby,' "…changes everything. You'll see, Kate. You and Remus will sort this out, but you have to tell him first. He deserves to know."_

 _I nodded. She was right; I knew she was, but that didn't change the fact that I was still scared._

 _"I will. I will. I promise, but not today, not around the others. I think it's something that we should do in private. Besides, today is supposed to be about you." I smiled feebly._

 _"Until I do," I continued. "Can you promise me you won't say anything to James?"_

 _Lily bit her lip uncertainly. "He's my husband, Kate." She still blushed slightly when she said the word 'husband,' and it hurt more than she could ever know._

 _"I know, but you know James won't be able to keep this from the guys. And we both know that's not how Remus should find out."_

 _"Alright, I won't say anything to James, but, please tell Remus soon. In the meantime, you know you don't have to go through this alone, right? We're sisters now, Kate. I'm here for you. If you just need to cry, or someone to hold your hair back, or…"_

 _"Chocolate?" I suggested._

 _Lily laughed. "Or chocolate. I'm sure I have some in the kitchen somewhere. Let's go find it."_

 _After checking the mirror to make sure the tear stains weren't too visible, Lily and I left the room together. We didn't make it far, however, before Remus walked around the corner. Unsure if he'd somehow be able to read the truth in my eyes still, I avoided making eye contact for very long. Lily was no help. Her eyes quickly flashed between the two of us._

 _"I think I hear James calling for me. Coming, Honey!" she called before quickly leaving the two of us alone. Some sister._

 _"I…I was coming to see if you were all right," he said._

 _"I'm fine," I said simply. I was afraid that if I spoke to him too much I'd start crying again. Or we'd start arguing. … Or both._

 _"Are you sure? You were in there for quite a while."_

 _"I said I'm fine, Remus."_

 _"Right. Sorry for asking."_

 _We stood in the hall, still and silent. The way Remus was standing I wouldn't have been able to walk by him without touching him. And I thought it would hurt too much to touch him._

 _"You'd…You'd tell me if you weren't though? If you were…ill…you'd tell me, right?"_

 _I paused a moment before nodding. "Of course." I tried smiling, but I don't think it worked._

 _"But would you listen if I did? You don't seem to listen to anything else I say." I mumbled the last bit under my breath, but he heard it anyways._

 _"God, Kate, please don't start that now."_

 _"I'm not starting anything. What's the point of trying to start something when you won't talk to me?"_

 _"It's because I can't tell you."_

 _"You can, Remus. You can tell me anything you wish, but you choose not to. And I can't figure out for the life of me why you would choose to shut me out!"_

 _Remus wasn't a volatile person, but the stress we'd been under was immense. He slammed his hand against the wall as he whispered angrily, "Do you really want to hear about how we sit around and discuss our attacks and brag about our victims? Or would you rather know how we plan for the next full moon?"_

 _Remus and I had been arguing in hushed whispers, but his last words seemed to echo in a large cavern. 'Our attacks.' 'Our victims.' Not 'his,' not 'theirs.'_ _ **Our**_ _. My legs threatened to give way and I had to lean on the wall for support._

 _"Oh God, Remus… You're not…" I couldn't finish my thought; it was too horrid._

 _"Making up stories? Lying my ass off to keep cover? Hoping beyond reason that they won't see through my fraud? Yes, Kate, I am."_

 _Lying. Making up stories. Those things I could live with. The alternative to that? Never._

 _"Then why do you still do it? It's too risky. What if they found out? The consequences…" I knew the consequences if Remus were to be discovered would be death. And he knew he didn't need to say that aloud._

 _"I provide the Order with valuable intel. We need it."_

 _I shook my head adamantly. "No we don't. We'll find a way to manage without it. I think it's more important that we come out of this war without losing sight of who we are."_

 _"That's the catch, Kate. We might not come out of this war at all without the information I provide."_

 _Despite our intentions to do otherwise, our voices had gradually risen drawing the attention of the others. I could see them standing at the end of the hall watching us. Before either James or Sirius could say anything though, a silver Phoenix flew in through the window and down the hall. It stopped in front of Remus to deliver a message. Dumbledore was calling him away again._

 _Remus turned to leave, and I reached out and grabbed his hand._

 _"Please, don't go," I said. "Please stay…for us."_

 _His brow furrowed in confusion._

 _"For you and me, I mean. Can't you see what this is doing to us? Don't go, Remus."_

 _"I'm sorry, but I have to."_

 _He pried my fingers from his wrist and made his way up the hall. He paused in front of Lily to wish her a happy birthday. I closed my eyes and bowed my head as I fought a losing battle with my tears. I flinched when I heard the 'pop' of apparition. I looked up to find James, Sirius, and Peter all watching me carefully. Only Lily was brave enough to approach me._

 _"Kate?"_

 _I locked eyes with her. I could see her sympathy. She longed to share in the pain with me, but truthfully there was little she could do. There was little anyone could do._

 _"I…I think I'm going to be sick again." I turned and headed back to the toilet; Lily was right behind me._

 **XXX**

 _2 September 1993_

I had another restless night as memories continued to plague me. If this was going to be the norm, I would have to see Poppy about a tonic. Due to my restless night I was late getting to breakfast. As such, when I arrived many of the students and staff were on their way out, including Remus.

"Good morning, Professor," he said with a smile.

"Morning, Professor," I replied a little stiffly.

"I'm afraid there might not be much left in there."

"You're probably right." The latest memory was still fresh on my mind, and I tried to shove it aside as I continued, "especially not with my son in there. He'd eat me out of house and home. Well, him and Harry. Between the two of them I've learned to keep a well-stocked pantry."

There was a slight pause before Remus spoke again. And when he did there was a slight hitch to his voice.

"Do you see much of him? Harry I mean?"

Ah! So that's what it was. He was feeling a bit of guilt for not being in Harry's life. But what about Jonathan's?

"A fair bit," I replied, trying not to sound like I was bragging (too much). "I live across the street from his Aunt and Uncle; he and Jonathan went to the same primary school."

Remus fell silent again, a pained expression on his face. I began to wonder which would be worse: to know Harry all his life like I had, but never be more than just his friendly neighbor, or to be a complete stranger to him. The answer was clear. I'd much rather be in Harry's life as his neighbor only, then to not be in it at all.

Now I felt slightly guilty for bragging.

"Well…I suppose I should get to class. I wouldn't want to be late for my first day."

He turned and began walking off, leaving me behind. I sighed, knowing I was about to regret doing what I was going to do. I chased after him.

"Who do you have first?"

"You're going to miss breakfast." He pointed back to the Great Hall, ignoring my question.

"It won't be the first time or the last. Eight o'clock breakfast is usually hard to make when the earliest I typically see my bed is somewhere between two-thirty and three."

He looked at me funny and I stuck out my hand.

"Perhaps we haven't met. Katherine Porter, resident mother and Astronomy Professor."

"Ah, I should have known," he said softly.

"Come again?"

"Never mind." He took my hand in his. "Remus Lupin, resident new kid."

"Pleasure. So who's your first class?" He pulled out his time table and handed it to me. "Ouch! Fifth year double lesson. Little tip, Fred and George Weasley are _always_ up to something. You can multiply that if my son is with them. So I'd advise thoroughly searching the area the twins were in to make sure they didn't leave something for Jonathan to finish, since you have him in the class that follows."

Remus laughed. "Thanks for the advice."

"Anytime. Oh! And if you do find anything, would you mind telling me? I swear if that boy gets his first detention of the year _before_ next Friday, I will give Filch permission to use those chains he's always going on about."

He laughed again. "I know the ones you speak of. My friends and I were threatened with them many times when we were students here."

Anger flared up inside me. _How dare you speak of them!_ My heart cried out. His pained expression promptly returned but it did little to abate the anger this time.

"Thanks again. Will I see you at lunch?"

I swallowed the bitter bile that had risen. "Probably."

With a parting wave he continued on his way; I watched him leave. _Why is it_ , I wondered, _that he always seems to leave me behind? And why did I still care?_

* * *

 **A/N:** Ok, so a bit of clarification. No, Remus did not recognize Katherine. Why? Because he's never met Katherine Porter. Kate is literally disguising herself on a constant basis. Why? Well, that will all be explained in due time. For now, you can picture Kate as Zooey Deschanel, and Katherine as Emily Blunt.

SO.. I love all the love I've been getting. Keep it coming. :)


	5. Hope-Full Memories

**A sad Katmus memory needs to be followed by a happy one, don't you think?**

* * *

 **Chapter 4:**

 **Hope-Full Memories**

Though there were only two days in the first week of school, the arrival of the weekend came at no less of a relief than if it had been a full week.

The students were restricted to visiting Hogsmeade Village to only a few weekends each year. The professors and staff had no such restrictions. One weekend every month we were "on duty" meaning we were to stay on the grounds and keep an eye on the students. However, most of the time everyone stayed around the castle anyways so if you needed to switch your weekend from one week to the next you easily could. That first weekend, I went into Hogsmeade seeking relief and to pick up a few things Jonathan had forgotten.

Remus' presence in the castle left me in a perpetual state of confusion. Sometimes I was so angry with him I could hardly breathe. Other times he seemed to be in such pain that I felt guilty for being angry. We'd had a few conversations, mostly at meals. They were nothing as substantial as that first conversation after breakfast; they were mostly small talk, but they were easy to have. After everything that went down between Remus and Kate, Remus and Katherine could still talk easily.

And that confused me. How was it possible to feel so angry, yet feel guilty for being angry, and still manage to have normal conversations _and_ enjoy them? I needed the space and the quiet the walk to Hogsmeade would afford me to sort out these thoughts.

"The toffee here is really good,"

Life didn't know how to play fair, did it? I turned around to find Remus just down the aisle. He was dressed casually and seemed a little more relaxed than he usually appeared in the castle. With the full moon now four days behind him, however, that didn't surprise me.

"I've never been much of a toffee fan," I said pleasantly. "Chocolate has always been my go-to."

"Well, you've come to the right shop. Honeydukes has always had the best chocolate in my opinion."

We both grabbed our items and headed to the checkout in silence. He allowed me to proceed first. That would have given me the time I needed to get away, but for some unknown reason I held back and we left together.

"So, what brings you to Hogsmeade besides the chocolate?" he asked, eyeing my other bags.

"Jonathan forgot a few things, like ink and parchment. The mother in me wanted to tell him to get it himself on his trip, make him learn a lesson in the process. But then the Professor side realized that he'd likely miss a few assignments in the meantime."

"I don't imagine the mother was too thrilled with that prospect."

"Not in the least. So, here I am. I made him give me money for it however, so he's still paying for it in some way."

"Well, that only seems fair."

We meandered around the small village with no real direction or aim. All the while we maintained an easy, flowing conversation. We even made each other laugh a few times, which did nothing to clarify my feelings. Towards the end of our meandering we made our way to the Three Broomsticks because whoever heard of going to Hogsmeade and not getting a pint of Madame Rosmerta's butterbeer.

We sat in a cozy corner booth together. All afternoon I'd been trying to keep the conversation away from sensitive topics, such as the past. Somehow, it still came about. Remus asked what house I had been in during school.

The wizard community was rather small within the British Isles. Even if you hadn't heard of someone, chances are that at least two people you knew had. It was therefore necessary for Katherine to have a back story.  
"I was in Horned Serpent," I replied.

The realization dawned on him suddenly. "You didn't attend Hogwarts."

I shook my head no. "Ilvermorny, class of seventy-eight."

"Strange, you don't sound American to me."

"And that's a requirement for attending Ilvermorny is it?"

"Fair point, but then why not Hogwarts?"

The lie was easy. "My parents had extended business in America, so we moved to New York just before I turned elven. The acceptance letters arrived in post at the same time."

"And you still chose Ilvermorny?"

"I chose my family; Ilvermorny was closer to them. I moved to Little Whinging in eighty-two. After my parents died, there wasn't anything holding me to America anymore."

"I'm sorry. Losing one parent is hard enough; I can't imagine it's any easier for the second."

"You…you've lost one of your parents?" I faltered a little. This was the first I'd heard of Remus losing a parent. I hoped I'd only misheard or misinterpreted him. But he nodded.

"My Mum, a few years ago…"

 _17 June 1977_

 _"I don't know why you're so nervous," Remus said with a chuckle at my fidgety state. "You've already met my Mum."_

 _"Yes, but as your friend who just so happens to be a girl, not as your_ _ **girlfriend**_ _. Ow!" Remus took hold of my hands so I couldn't pick at my fingers anymore._

 _"I don't think it matters," he said._

 _"Are you kidding me? It completely matters. Mums are different when it comes to their son's friends who are girls and their_ _ **girlfriends**_ _. The girlfriend has to measure up to her expectations. Mums won't let their sons date just any girl. What if she doesn't think I'm good enough for you? What do we…" Suddenly his lips were on mine. Instantly my body relaxed. All thoughts of inadequacy disappeared with his kiss. I sighed contently._

 _"That is a very pleasant way of shutting me up."_

 _"Well, seeing as how you're still talking, I don't think it worked."_

 _"Try it again."_

 _He smiled before once more capturing my lips with his. This time I let my arms slide around his neck as I pulled him closer. Despite his teasing of James to avoid the secret passages, Remus and I didn't really have many opportunities to snog in school. After I returned to Hogwarts we only had a month to prepare for exams. Now we were riding the Hogwarts Express back to London for summer holiday. The others had mistakenly left us alone in the compartment._

 _"Oy! What did I say about doing that in front of me?"_

 _"You weren't there two seconds ago," Remus said as he sat back in his seat with swollen lips._

 _"James, go away," I said as I attempted to pull Remus back. My efforts were stopped by Sirius who, quite forcefully, sat between us._

 _"Now, Kate, I'm sure the Prize taught you how to share…" he said._

 _"The what?"_

 _"The Prize…your pack of kittens."_

 _I rolled my eyes. "I think you're thinking of the Lion; they live in_ _ **Prides**_ _. Leopards, however, are solitary creatures and don't much like sharing."_

 _With one good shove, I pushed him onto the floor and slid across the seat to nestle into Remus' side once more._

 _"Well that was uncalled for," Sirius grumbled as he picked himself up and sat beside James._

 _"I'm sure you deserved it," Lily said as she entered our compartment._

 _"Lily! I saved you a seat," James said as he pushed Sirius back onto the floor. Surprisingly, Lily took the now open seat._

 _"Nice to know where we fall on the hierarchy," Sirius muttered to Peter who nodded in agreement._

 _"Are you still nervous about meeting Remus' Mum?" Lily asked. "Because I feel a little nauseated thinking of meeting your Mum." Lily had finally agreed to go to Hogsmeade with James during the last weekend after exams. Though they weren't exactly a couple yet, they were well on their way to being one._

 _"See! It's a thing, Remus. I'm not just barmy," I said._

 _"Thanks, Lily. I did manage to distract her for a bit," Remus said._

 _"We could always leave them here and try it again elsewhere," I suggested. Remus smiled, and I felt certain he was about to grab my hand and lead me out of the compartment. But then the whistle blew signaling our near arrival at King's Cross._

 _"Saved by the whistle!" James exclaimed._

 _As the train came to a rest, we all gathered our trunks and filed out. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin stood next to Mum and Dad on the platform as they waited for us. Lily leaned in and whispered 'Good luck' to me; I returned the favor before hugging her._

 _I made my way over to his parents with Remus alongside me. Before I could even say 'hi,' Mrs. Lupin pulled me in for a big hug. I caught Remus' smug look of "I told you so." After greeting Mr. Lupin in a similar manner, I turned to my own parents for a brief hello before saying goodbye again. I was spending the first week of holiday at Remus'; I still wasn't sure how I'd convinced my Dad to let me go._

 _We left the platform carefully and began making our way through the crowded station. Though I was perfectly capable of pulling it along myself, Mr. Lupin insisted on pulling my trunk for me. I had no idea where we were going as I followed them. Usually we took the Floo Network or apparated back home. At last we came upon the exit door and the Muggle contraption that was going to transport us to the Lupin residence._

 _"We're going to travel by auto-mobile?" I asked, unable to contain the excitement in my voice._

 _"Have you ever ridden in a car before?" Mrs. Lupin asked,_

 _"No, Ma'am. I've never really had an opportunity or a need to," I replied as we climbed in. Remus and his Dad were putting the trunks in what they called the boot. "The market at Godric's Hollow has everything we need food wise. And what wizardry things we need we get in Diagon Alley; we use the Floo Network for that."_

 _"What's that?" Remus asked as climbed into the back beside me._

 _"She's never been in a car before, Sweetie," his Mum replied. "Help her with her seat belt."_

 _"Why does the seat need a belt?"_

 _Remus chuckled. "You've never been in a car before?"_

 _I shook my head no. Then he leaned across me and pulled a strap out from the side of the seat and wrapped it across my mid-section…like a belt._

 _"Oh! Is this the belt thing? Is this supposed to keep me in the auto-mobile? If so, they need these on brooms; maybe then I'll manage to stay on one."_

 _"You're too cute, sometimes" he said as he kissed my forehead._

 _"Remus!" I whispered harshly as his dad started the engine. "Not in front of your parents."_

 _"But you'll happily snog in front of James?" he whispered back._

 _"James isn't your Mum and Dad."_

 _"Thank God for that!"_

 _We both laughed._

 _Riding in an auto-mobile, or a "car" as Remus insisted I call it, was weird. Well, maybe not weird, but it was different than riding in a train. It's like I felt every rock and bump we hit in my stomach. I didn't like it very much, but I didn't say so. The longer we were in the car, the worse I started feeling. At first I had been talking with Remus' parents, Lyall and Hope as_ _ **they**_ _insisted. But before long I felt it was no longer safe to talk. I tried closing my eyes, but that only seemed to make things worse._

 _"Kate? Are you alright?" Remus asked._

 _I shook my head no and groaned. "I…I don't feel so well…"_

 _"Mum, I think Kate's car-sick."_

 _"Oh, no," Hope said as she looked back at us._

 _"How much further?" I asked._

 _"We still have another hour left," Remus said._

 _"I…I'm not going to make it. Quick, put me to sleep."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Sleep. I can't fall asleep myself, but if you put me in an enchanted sleep I think I'll be alright."_

 _"Kate, I'm not sure about this…"_

 _"Please, Remus, before I'm sick all over your car."_

 _The last thing I was saw Remus' apologetic smile. When I woke I was in a bed surrounded by the smell of Remus. The nausea that had threatened me in the car was gone. I wasn't awake long before the door opened and Hope walked in carrying a tray. My stomach dropped._

 _"Wh…what's that?"_

 _"Chicken noodle soup," she said._

 _I exhaled. For a moment I thought she was going to say "porridge." I really would have been sick then._

 _"How are you feeling, Sweetie?"_

 _"Fine, much better now, thanks."_

 _She set the soup down before sitting on the bed and placing the back of her hand to my forehead._

 _"You still feel a bit clammy. The soup will help with that. Remus will be pleased to hear you are awake finally."_

 _"Finally?"_

 _"You slept for nearly five hours."_

 _"Five hours? Dad! I promised to send him my Patronus when I got here. He'll be worried about me."_

 _"Shh…" She held up her hand. "Lyall used the Floo Network to contact him._

 _"Oh…Oh good." I breathed a sigh of relief. "I've given him enough fright to last a lifetime, I think."_

 _"We were all frightened when you were kidnapped, Remus especially. I knew how much he loved you even before he told us. And I knew then that I'd love you too. I've always wanted a daughter."_

 _I smiled. "Well…" I blew on a spoonful of soup to cool it off a bit before swallowing it. "I already have two mothers in my life, why not make it three?"_

 _She smiled. "I would like that."_

 _"Me too. Especially if you keep making soup like this. It's delicious!"_

 _Hope laughed. "Well thank you. It's my Mum's secret recipe. I'll have to teach it to you."_

 _Remus appeared in the doorway then, having heard his Mum laugh I suppose. I looked up at him and smiled._

 _"You're Mum's awesome."_

 _"Yes, I know," he said._

4 September 1993

"I know that look," Remus said, suddenly pulling me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked a little breathless while running over the mantra in my head. _I am Katherine Porter. I am Katherine Porter…_

"That look. You just took a trip down memory lane. Thinking of your Mum?"

"Yeah," I said with an exhale. "Yes, I was. Sometimes it feels like it just happened."

"I know what you mean."

I shivered and wrapped my arms around my chest.

"I…I think we should head back now," I said. "Before it gets too dark."

It was later than we anticipated so we apparated back to the gates to shorten the distance a little. Remus quickly cast a non-corporeal Patronus to ward off the looming Dementors. Our walk to the castle was a silent one, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was reflective. As we stepped into the entrance hall, Dumbledore was on his way into the Great Hall.

"Professor Dumbledore!" I called out before turning to Remus. "Thanks for the butterbeer. I'll see you around."

Remus nodded and made his departure, leaving me with Dumbledore.

"Do you have a moment?" I asked the old professor.

"Sure, let's go to my office shall we."

We made our way there silently. I unconsciously picked at my fingers, trying to keep the tears at bay, before I realized what I was doing and made myself stop. Some habits were hard to break.

"Did you enjoy your Hogsmeade visit?" he asked. I disregarded his question and asked my own.

"Did you know? About Hope, his Mum. Did you know?"

"I'm sorry; I'm not sure what you are referring to."

"She's dead," I cried softly. "A few years now, he said. I…I didn't even know she was ill."

I collapsed into one of the plush sofas and wept freely. All the pain I felt since Remus had first told me came pouring out. Dumbledore, ever a steady man, waited patiently and offered a handkerchief and a glass of hot tea.

"Thanks." I wiped at my tears and dried my eyes as best I could before taking a sip of the tea. "What kind of tea is this?"

"Licorice," he said with a light chuckle.

"It's not half bad; I still think I prefer a simple black though." I smiled. "Thanks for letting me use your office to cry. I'm not sure I could have kept that in much longer."

"I wasn't aware you and Hope were that close."

I nodded and wiped away a few lingering tears. "She was like another mother to me. She was there for me in a way that no one else could be when Euphemia died. We lost touch…after Remus… It just hurt too much to be reminded of him. But her simple wisdom stayed with me. I still use her recipe for chicken noodle soup."

"The loss of a parent is never an easy burden to bear. It can be lessened by the comfort of a loved one, but that does not make it easy. Both you and Remus lost a great deal. Sometimes I wonder if you were too young to be involved in the war efforts."

"It wouldn't have matted if you thought us too young," I said with a shake of my head. "We would have found a way to fight. Without the Order if need be, and we wouldn't have had as much protection."

I paused for a moment to finish off my tea, before adding, "I'll do it. I'll keep his class if he needs me to, but I'm still not ready to tell him about Jonathan. It may be awhile before I'm ready to risk that again."

Dumbledore nodded his head. "I will inform Professor Lupin first thing Monday morning. Would you care for some more tea?"

"Perhaps a cup to go, thanks."


	6. A Lesson on Boggarts

**I love you guys!**

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

 **A Lesson on Boggarts**

Needless to say, Saturday night was not an easy night. Sunday, however, was a different matter. Sunday I decided that in order to help Remus, I needed to let go of the past. I needed to forget the pain that he'd caused Kate. Kate was dead, and Katherine had no quarrel with Remus. I wasn't naïve enough to think that it would be easy to forget everything that happened. I knew it would be far from it actually. But it would be the only way this year would be endurable.

Wednesday morning I decided to work in the staff room instead of my office for a change of scenery. I was in the middle of grading Jonathan's summer assignment, despite Snape's persistent grunting as he flipped through the latest edition of _Potent Potions_ , when the staff room door opened and the third year Gryffindors filed in. A boggart had taken up residence in the wardrobe in the back corner Tuesday afternoon, and instead of vanquishing it, Remus had asked that it be left for his third years. I had forgotten about the boggart's close proximity; otherwise I likely would have stayed in my office. I hated boggarts.

"Leave it open, Lupin. I'd rather not witness this," Snape grumbled as he stood to leave.

I rolled my eyes. He was so dramatic sometimes. Snape paused at the door and turned back to look at the class with a sneer.

"Perhaps no one has warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. His work is abysmal unless Miss Granger is whispering in his ear."

Poor Neville looked mortified at being called out. I thought it was more than unfair to humiliate a student in the presence of two other professors.

"Actually," Remus began without missing a beat, his eyebrows raised. "I was hoping Mr. Longbottom would be my first volunteer."

Snape grimaced and fled the room. I was boiling.

"Oh that…that…" _Foul! Loathsome! Greasy! Git!_ I took a deep breath to keep from saying what I really wanted to say. I noticed the students had all turned their attention to me.

"Don't pay him any mind, Mr. Longbottom. He's just bitter. He wishes he could be as well liked as you. So don't listen to him… Unless," I thought. "…Of course if you're in his class, in which case his word is basically law. I'm afraid there's not much I can do for you there. Well…nothing that won't get us both into trouble." I winked.

The class laughed and the wardrobe gave a little wobble.

"And that is my cue to direct your attention back to Professor Lupin…who probably wants me to leave." I stood and began to gather my things.

"Don't be ridiculous, Professor Porter," Remus said with an amused smile. "You may stay if you like."

"Oh! Well in that case…" I pushed my papers into a sloppy pile before sitting on the table. "…Continue on."

"Right," Remus turned his attention back to the class. "So today we will be learning how to vanquish a boggart. Before we begin, who can tell me what a boggart is?"

I wasn't surprised that Hermione was the only one to raise her hand. Whether that was because no one else knew the answer, or because they simply didn't bother with Hermione in the class, I'm not sure.

"Yes, Miss Granger."

"It's a shape-shifter, Sir. It takes on the shape of whatever a person fears the most."

"Correct."

"Terribly inconsiderate, if you think about it," I said. "I mean, we fear the things we do for a reason."

"Don' worry, Professor Porter, I'll protect you," Seamus Finnegan said with a flirty grin.

"Oh, my hero, Mr. Finnegan."

"Ahem…" Remus gave a little cough.

I smiled. "Sorry, Professor; I'll be sure to raise my hand next time."

"I'm sure. Now, as the boggart is still in the dark it has yet to take a shape. But we, out here, have an advantage over it. Care to take a guess as to why that is, Harry?"

Harry seemed surprised that Remus had called on him when Hermione's hand had already shot into the air.

"Er—because there are more of us?" Harry asked as he ran a hand over the back of his head.

"Precisely! It won't know what to become. Should it be a headless corpse, or a flesh eating slug? I once saw a boggart come across that exact dilemma and turn itself into half a slug. Not remotely frightening."

I smiled fondly; I remembered that day.

 **XX**

 _20 April 1978_

 _There was a loud explosion followed by a very putrid smell and a cackling Peeves. Filch's office door flew open as he rushed out. I waited a moment for him to leave before unlocking the door and stepping in. Four sets of confused eyes turned my way but looked right through me, until I pulled off the invisibility cloak._

 _"Kate!" James jumped to his feet._

 _"Shh! Not so loud, you git. And leave my name out of it will you." I handed him the cloak. "Quickly now, we don't have much time. Where's the map?"_

 _"Filch took it with him," Remus said sounding only slightly less surprised than James had been_

 _"Better that than you, I suppose." We left the small office in a hurry and headed in the opposite direction Filch had gone. "He won't be able to work it anyways…will he?"_

 _"Like we didn't prepare for something like this," Sirius said._

 _"If he tries to operate it, he'll get a string of insults from each of us," James said proudly._

 _"You prepare to get caught? I'd think it'd be better not to get caught in the first place," I said._

 _We stopped suddenly as Mrs. Norris darted out in front of us. Peter swore and tried to shoe her away. She didn't listen to him of course._

 _"Mrs. Norris," I said firmly. "Leave us and don't tell Filch. Now."_

 _The shabby cat trotted on by with its tail held high. The guys looked at me in wonder._

 _"She recognizes the superior feline. That's how_ _ **I**_ _don't get caught."_

 _"Bleeding brilliant, you are," Sirius said._

 _"Tell me something I don't know. This way."_

 _I turned sharply down an unused corridor and ducked behind a large tapestry. The tip of my wand was lit instantly as we began to climb a set of narrow stairs._

 _"I must admit, I'm a little surprised, Kate. I didn't think you'd care enough to break me out," James said._

 _"Break_ _ **you**_ _out? I came for Remus; you're just a collateral escapee. Next week is the last Hogsmeade week before the end of term and I thought we could…well…I'm sure you can sort the rest out for yourself."_

 _My cheeks burned and my heart skipped madly at the thought of our last visit to Hogsmeade just three weeks ago. I recalled how his kisses made me soar and his touch sent me spiraling. We'd spent the week together at the Hog's Head, but it still didn't seem to be enough._

 _"Ugh…I thought we had an agreement not to talk about that sort of stuff," Peter grumbled._

 _"James had the agreement," Remus said as he slid his hand in mine; I knew he was thinking of our last trip too._

 _"Remus and I never agreed to anything," I said._

 _We were coming to the end of the passage where there was a dark little nook. As we came up on it there was suddenly a loud crack and someone stepped out in front of me. I froze as I found myself staring into the eyes of my father. Flashes of our last encounter a year ago passed through my mind._

 _Before I could do anything, James and Sirius jumped in front of my while Remus pulled me behind him. There was another loud crack as the image of my father changed and I realized it was only a boggart. With James and Sirius standing so near each other in the tight space, the boggart didn't know what to turn into. So it became a combination of the two fears. A half of a slug dropped to the floor with a plop._

 _"Eww," I said._

 _Before we could do anything more, we heard a distinct grumbling coming from the other end of the passage. Filch was coming._

 _"Quick! Hurry! I'm not going to get caught with you lot." I pushed James and Sirius forward gently._

 _We stepped over the boggart before it had a chance to change again. We sprinted down the hall and we were about to go into another passage when Filch let out a terrifying scream. I knew I shouldn't but I laughed._

 _Then I used the distraction of Filch's scream to pull Remus away from the others._

 **XXX**

 _8 September 1993_

"Riddikulus!"

"Good, very good. Neville, please step forward."

While I was lost in my memory, Remus had carried on with the lesson. When he called Neville to the front, though, he regained my attention.

"Neville, can you please inform the class what most frightens you?" Remus asked.

There was a slight pause during which there was a very vague, very indistinct whisper.

"I'm sorry, Neville, I didn't catch that."

"P-P-Professor S-S-Snape," Neville trembled.

"He frightens us all," I said. Remus shot me a look. I mouthed sorry and he smiled.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Remus said. "But I believe you live with your grandmother."

I laughed loudly; I couldn't help it. I knew where he was going with this. The class looked back at me again. "Blimey that's brilliant!"

Remus smirked knowingly, but the class just seemed more confused.

"Y-y-yes," Neville said. "But I-I don't want that boggart to turn into her either."

"It won't, but here's what I want you to do." Remus turned his back to the class and spoke softly with Neville telling him the plan.

"Everyone needs to be ready now," Remus said stepping back and addressing the class once more. "Think of what you most fear and then be prepared to make it amusing. Are you ready, Neville? Remember what we discussed. I'm going to open the wardrobe on the count of three."

Remus stepped back so that the boggart would encounter Neville first.

"One…two…three…"

On three, Remus directed his wand at the wardrobe and unlocked it. There was a silent pause as the copy of Professor Snape stepped out, right down to this sneer. Snape slowly advanced on Neville. I have to hand it to Neville, though; like his parents, he stood his ground. Snape began to reach inside his robes.

"Now, Neville," Remus instructed.

Neville raised his wand, his hand was shaking but his voice was clear. "Riddikulus!"

There was a small pop and suddenly Snape was dressed in an ivy green dress with a vulture hat and a bright red hand bag. The laughter was instantaneous. The thought of seeing Snape in Neville's grandmother's clothing was funny enough, but to see it in person was almost too much. And I think Remus and I enjoyed the sight a little more than we probably should have.

"Pavarti, you're next," Remus called.

One after the other Remus called a student to step forward to combat the boggart. Pavarti, Ron, Dean, and Seamus were all among those called forward. When Seamus finished his banshee boggart by making her voice disappear, he turned to me and flashed me a smile. That made Remus look my way too. His smile was a familiar one, and it made heart do a strange little flutter.

Each student performed the charm admirably and the laughter stayed full. It didn't take long for the boggart to become confused. It changed several times back to back before flying around looking for a new victim. It landed in front of Harry; my smile faltered slightly as I wondered what form his boggart would take. Before it could change however, Remus suddenly jumped in front of Harry.

"Here!" he called. The boggart zeroed in on Remus and without pause it took shape. A silvery-white sphere floated in the air. I recognized it at once for what it was, but before the class really had time to contemplate it, he held up his wand.

"Riddikulus!" he said lazily.

The moon became a deflated balloon that whizzed around the room. The class laughed hysterically at the noise it made. I found it quite humorous too, until it made its way to the back of the room. It was coming right at me. I could see the image it would take in my mind, and I knew Remus would recognize it too. That wasn't what suddenly made my blood turn cold though; _his_ face was a face I hadn't seen in years.

As the boggart took shape, I slid off the table clumsily, knocking my papers to the floor. I, unlike the class, was not anticipating facing a boggart and thus I did not have my wand out. While I fumbled in my pockets looking for it, I saw Dean nudge Seamus forward. The boggart, meanwhile, continued its progression in is long black robes and hooded face.

At last I pulled my wand out and directed it at the boggart's face. He reached to remove the ornate mask he wore, and I could already see clearly in my mind's eye the pale twisted face that lay beneath. I struggled to conjure a new image. My hand shook and my voice caught in my throat.

"Ri…Riddik…Riddikulus."

Instantly the mask snapped back onto his face; it was now a bright pink and bore a comical smile. The boggart donned a pink tutu as well and twirled around uncontrollably. I was too terrified to laugh, but the class laughed enough for me.

"Quickly, Neville, finish him off!" Remus called curiously.

Neville leapt in front of the boggart. With one last crack it became Snape again before once more donning the clothes of Neville's grandmother. Neville gave a great laugh and the boggart exploded into a whiff of smoke. The class cheered.

I remained where I was, pale and shaking slightly. My heart was racing. Had Remus somehow seen his face? Did he know my secret? And why, after so long, did the face of my father still torment me so?

"Professor Porter?" Seamus said softly, pulling me out of my daze.

I tried to smile convincingly. "Sorry, Mr. Finnegan, it looks like Neville is the hero this time."

"Excellent! Well done, everyone!" Remus said. "Let's see…five points to Gryffindor for everyone who tackled the boggart, ten for Neville since he did it twice, and five each to Harry and Hermione for correctly answering my questions at the start of class. For homework, please read the chapter on boggarts and summarize it for me, to be turned in next Wednesday. Thank you. Again, excellent job today. You may precede back the classroom for your books."

I still hadn't really moved, and I still hadn't looked in Remus' direction. I was worried about what I might see there. I bent down to pick up my papers. Seamus bent to help me, and when they reached me so did Harry, Hermione, and Ron. My hands were still shaking slightly when they each handed me my things.

"Professor?" Harry asked, but in that moment all I heard was James' voice. I exhaled through my mouth slowly before smiling again.

"I'm fine, Harry. Really. You should all head on now. I wouldn't want you to be late for your next class on my behalf."

"You could always write us a note," Seamus said.

My smile became more genuine. "I could. Goodbye now and thank you for your help. Five more points for Gryffindor."

As they walked away, I made myself busy with stacking and organizing my papers. I was hoping that Remus would follow after them quickly, but, of course, he didn't.

"Were there many Death Eaters in America?" he asked, a mix of concern and curiosity in his voice.

Death Eater? So he thought it was only a Death Eater? I studied his face for any sign that he may have seen what lay beneath the mask, but there were none.

"Not many, no," I replied slowly. "But just because Voldemort didn't hop the pond, doesn't mean that rumors of what he did hadn't. The MACUSA didn't want to get involved, but there were those of us who didn't think Voldemort's reign of terror would end with the British Isles. I was a member of a special task force after leaving school."

"Fear of the Death Eater, but not the name?"

"I fear what the Death Eater represents. Besides, the use of a name can give power; the fear of a name takes power away. I made the decision long ago that I wouldn't give Voldemort power over me."

"That is very admirable," he said with a pleasant smile as we turned to leave.

I shrugged off the compliment. "It is what it is, but that back there…" I pointed behind us trying to change the topic. "That was an excellent lesson. I'm glad they finally have a defense teacher who knows their stuff and knows how to get through to them."

"Oh that? That was nothing."

"Nothing? Did you hear their laughter? I'm going to have to watch my back, lest you replace me as their favorite teacher."

"Well I don't think you have anything to worry about when it comes to Mr. Finnegan," he teased.

I rolled my eyes. The poor kid had a hopeless crush. "Alright, that's enough of that, thank you."

Remus laughed.

"I'll let you get to class now. See you around."


	7. Pina Coladas and Shield Charms

**Chapter 6:**

 **Piña Coladas and Shield Charms**

I watched Remus' popularity soar with the kids after his boggart lesson. He hadn't just won favor with the third year Gryffindors, however. Apparently he had managed to have equally impressive lessons in his other classes. The only students who seemed immune to his charm were those in Slytherin house. I had no doubt Snape was to thank for that.

Also following the boggart lesson, Remus and I began spending more time together. It was easier than I thought it would be, but then again, Remus and I always had a deep connection. I once told his Mum that you almost couldn't help but love Remus. It seemed that was still true.

As with Hogsmeade, we avoided talking about the past. I didn't ask about his past, knowing it would be difficult (for us both), in hopes that he wouldn't ask about mine. It worked, for the most part. I didn't want to have to make up any more stories than necessary. We also usually met in the staff room on his breaks or over the weekends, and avoided the intimacy of each other's office…until late September.

As the first full moon approached, the old familiar symptoms became visible. His face paled, he moved slower, and he looked a little sicker each day. I found myself wondering if it had gotten worse with age, or had I simply forgotten what it was like? The night before the moon, Remus asked me during dinner if I would accompany him back to his office. I figured he was probably going to ask about his classes, so I obliged.

"I swear his favorite game was 'Make Mummy Run Around 'Till She's Mental.' One flying toy was never enough."

Remus laughed. "That used to be my favorite game too. I would have succeeded in driving my Mum mad if it wasn't for my Dad and his magic stick."

There was a slight pause as his cheeks tinted slightly. "I apologize if that came out in a manner I didn't intend for it to."

I laughed. "I have a son who's fourteen, Remus. I've heard…and seen worse. I've punished for worse as well. It is a small comfort, however, to know that Jonathan isn't the only one who liked to drive his Mum mad."

We climbed the spiral staircase to his office. The Defense office was the only office that couldn't be reached by any other means than through the classroom. There wasn't much adornment in his office, as Remus chose to keep most of his things in the classroom itself. There was, however, one particular adornment that caught my attention right away.

"Remus…" I put out my arm to stop him quickly. Then I pointed to the corner. "You have a sonophone in your office, did you know that?"

He chuckled. "As a matter of fact, I did know."

"I haven't seen one of these in years!" I exclaimed as I went to admire the old classic player. "My parents used to have one in our lounge. My Mum, she was a witch, but she had a fondness for Muggle rock-n-roll."

I looked back at him. He was leaning against the front of his desk, arms crossed over his chest, and an amused smile playing on his lips. There was a hint of joviality in his eyes despite his sickly appearance. My heart did that strange little flutter thing again.

"I remember the first time I recall seeing one," I said. "I had just moved into my new house, and I couldn't sleep, so I went to the kitchen with the intent to make a glass of warm milk. I came across my parents in the lounge however. They were dancing to a Johnny Rivers' song; they looked so happy and so in love, and I don't recall ever seeing that before. Then they saw me. I was scared they were going to be mad because I was out of bed. But my Dad, he… he just opened his arms up to me and welcomed me over. And the three of us danced. It's the first real, positive memory I have of them."

I swiped at a few tears that had fallen. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get emotional on you."

"It's fine. You can put a record on if you like," he said, nodding towards the stack of records I assumed were only for show.

"What? Surely it doesn't work here, not with all the magical interference."

"Surely not…Unless… it's been extensively charmed," he suggested mischievously.

"No. Don't toy with me Remus. Bad things have happened to those who have."

He chuckled again and nodded his head to the records. My curiosity got the best of me. I turned back around and flipped through his collection of records. It was quite and extensive and eclectic collection. Judging by the state of the covers I could tell that most were several years old. They were likely bought or given to him when they first came out.

"The Eagles, Al Green…" I read the bands aloud. "Chicago! They were one of my Mum's favorite bands." He didn't just have Muggle music; there were a few wizarding bands too. "Chimaera. Foreigner…" Foreigner was one of the only wizarding bands to successfully cross over into Muggle mainstream music.

"Oh! I love this song!"

I carefully slid the record out of its protective sleeve and placed it on the player. The needle lowered itself and the familiar tune began to play; Remus started laughing. We let the first verse play over us without any assistance. But when the chorus came, we couldn't help ourselves. We sang aloud.

"If you like piña coladas…getting caught in the rain…if you're not into yoga…if you have half a brain…if you like making love at midnight…in the dunes of the cape…I'm the love that you've looked for. Write to me and escape!"

I laughed loudly as the little music interlude played before the next verse.

"Okay, okay… that's enough," I said through fits of laughter. Remus waved his wand and the needle lifted off the record.

"That wasn't half bad," he said, fighting his own laughter remarkably well.

"That's because it was wholly bad."

Finally he let his laughter out. I was under no illusion that I was a good vocalist.

"Besides, we probably shouldn't play that one too loud. We are in a school after all."

"True…but that can probably be said about much of the music from the seventies."

"Also true," I agreed. "Ah, but the music really takes you back doesn't it, to when life was just one big party."

His face gave a little quirk as he looked at me.

"What? I already apologized for my singing."

"No, it's not that. It's…I… Some former acquaintances of mine used to say that."

I tried to hide my panic as I shrugged it off with a simply _'funny, huh?'_ Of course he meant the Prewitt brothers. I'd have to learn to be more careful in the future if I didn't want him figuring me out.

"So, I _know_ you didn't ask me here to listen to my abysmal singing," I said.

He paused a moment and dropped his head to his chest, as though he was hesitant and ashamed.

"Tomorrow is the full moon." It was a simple statement of fact.

"Really? I hadn't noticed."

He looked up at me and smiled. "That either makes you the kindest person, or the worst astronomy teacher."

"A mystery I'll leave you to solve."

The light teasing seemed to put him at ease and loosened his tongue, as I had intended.

"I'm fairly certain I can manage through my seventh year N.E.W.T.s, but I'm not sure about afterwards. It gets worse the closer it gets to nightfall."

"It's alright, Remus." I walked closer to him out of habit. I stopped myself just in time before I could place a hand on his arm in comfort. "I'm here for you in whatever capacity you need me to be. What classes do you have?"

"Fourth years…all of them, and two Hufflepuff classes."

I grinned. "Oh Jonathan will love that."

"If you need me to come back for his class, I can."

"And rob me of the opportunity to embarrass him? I think not."

"You talk lot about how mischievous Jonathan is, but I think I'm beginning to see where he gets it from."

Instinctively I reached a hand up to my cheek to check for a scar. I tried not to make my relief visible when I didn't find one. I played the whole thing off by tucking some hair behind my ear.

"You don't know the half of it," I said. "So…your fourth years… are they all studying the same thing?"

"Yes, intermediate defensive spells. We're set to begin discussing the shield charm."

Remus moved around to the other side of his desk. We talked a bit about the specifics of each class, the student dynamics, and what he planned on assigning for homework. He told me, however, that if I felt they needed a little more work on something then I was free to focus on that more.

"Is there anything else I should or need to know? What about your classes Wednesday morning?" I asked.

"I should be fine Wednesday, if not I will send word. There is, however, one thing I need to ask you. And this is very important mind you…"

He paused for a moment and I thought _Oh shit! He's figured it out already. Was it something I said? Something I did maybe?_ Then he leaned back in his seat and smirked.

"Do you like piña coladas?"

It took me a moment to register his question, but when I did I laughed. And then I felt my own cheeks flush.

"I'm allergic to them actually."

"Ah."

"It's the coconut."

"Pity," he said."

"But…uh…everything else the song mentions, I'm good for that."

His cheeks flushed again, and I left him with that. "Goodnight, Professor."

 **XXX**

 ** _28 September 1993_**

Jonathan walked into his Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson on Tuesday afternoon to find a great shock.

"Mum! Er—I mean, Professor Porter," he grimaced at his slip. "What are you doing here?"

"Teaching," Katherine replied with an amused smile. "And I hope you're here to learn."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure this isn't the astronomy tower."

"How observant of you…Mr. Porter."

"What Jonathan is trying to ask, Professor, is 'where is Professor Lupin?'" Chris McDowell, a fellow Gryffindor asked. Katherine didn't have a chance to respond as a group of Slytherins walked in.

"Oh look, it's Porter's Mummy," one of the Slytherins heckled in a whinny voice. Katherine quickly placed a hand on Jonathan's shoulder to prevent him from attacking the Slytherin.

"Take a seat, Mr. Wilkes, or I'll be writing to your Mummy," she said sternly. Her eyes turned back to Jonathan. "You too, Mr. Porter."

"You'll write to yourself?"

It was an instinctual reflex to give cheek. Jonathan had little control over it, but his mum never bought that excuse. One look was usually all it took for Jonathan to know he had crossed a line and that he had better hurry to get back on the right side of it.

"Sorry," he said as he promptly took his seat.

Katherine began walking up and down the aisles. Jonathan was sure it was so she could verify that everyone had the proper book out and not the latest edition of _The Warlock Watch_ , a magazine that no one bought for the articles alone.

"Unfortunately, Professor Lupin is feeling a little…out of sorts, today," she said. "So I will be filling in for him. I expect you to show me the same respect that you show him, if not more so. Put that away, Mr. McDowell."

Jonathan grinned as the class giggled.

"Now," Katherine turned as she came to a stop at the front of the class. "Who would like to have a go at jinxing me?"

Jonathan knew better than to go against his Mum, so he kept his hand down.

"Come now, don't be shy. I promise I won't bite."

"I'll have a go, Professor Porter," Katie Bell said, raising her hand.

"Yes. Thank you, Miss Bell. Please step forward."

Katie walked to the front of the class where Katherine pulled her into a quick private consult. Jonathan wasn't worried about his mum. He knew that despite her outward soft appearance, she was a force to be reckoned with. She had to be to raise him. Jonathan vividly remembered a time when his mum had been particularly frightening. He'd let Chris use his rucksack on time last year, and he'd left of copy of _The Warlock Watch_ that Katherine found. Jonathan had never seen her so angry before.

No. Jonathan wasn't worried about his mum. If anything, he was worried about quiet little Katie Bell. Jonathan didn't think Katie was capable of hurting anyone…unless of course they were on the Quidditch pitch; that was a different matter entirely. On the pitch she would do anything to ensure a Gryffindor victory.

Jonathan smiled as Katie stepped back from his mum looking a little out-of-sorts herself. Katie knew things were not about to end well for her. She braced herself and cast a simple jelly-leg jinx. The spell bounced off an invisible wall with a flash and struck Katie instead. Katherine was quick to transfigure the floor around Katie into a soft cushion before casting the proper counter-jinx.

"Care to try another?" Katherine asked.

Katie looked unsure. "Perhaps someone else would like a go?" Katie's gaze turned to Jonathan, pleading for his help.

"Oh, I know better," Jonathan insisted, earning a few laughs.

"And it only took you fourteen years," Katherine said, earning more laughs.

"Come on, Miss Bell."

Katie steeled herself and cast yet another simple jinx at Katherine. Like her first attempt, the spell bounced off an invisible wall and stuck Katie again. Katherine cushioned the young girl's fall before issuing the spell's counter-jinx.

"Okay, Professor Porter; I think I've had enough," Katie said, standing back up.

Katherine smiled and nodded. "It's a little unnerving to be struck with your own spell, isn't it? It just feels different."

"Have you had a lot of experience with that, Professor?" McDowell asked.

"A bit," Katherine admitted, unashamed. "Now, who can tell me what happened?"

The room remained silent.

"Come now. If you don't volunteer then I will call you out."

"You used a shield charm," Jonathan said.

"Thank you, Mr. Porter; that is correct. For which the incantation is…?"

Again the room remained silent until Jonathan answered.

"Protego."

"Correct again. Now, the shield charm can be one of the most valuable assets to have in your arsenal of spells…"

Katherine went on to talk about the benefits of a good shield charm, being sure to keep the class engaged with humorous anecdotes and examples. After a bit of theory, she allowed the class to pair off to practice. It was their first time attempting to execute the charm, however, so there were many jelly-legs, and body-binds. Before beginning, Katherine had moved the desks aside and softened the floors.

For the most part the class seemed to be enjoying themselves. Even the Slytherins liked putting their own house-mates in body-binds. Towards the end of the lesson, however, as it usually happened, Wilkes grew bored. Or rather, he thought he saw an opportunity to annoy Jonathan. He began casting small spells at him and charming small bits of paper to hit him. Jonathan, being a young wizard of talented lineage, was able to deflect Wilkes attacks easily. So Wilkes tried something a little bigger and tossed a wad of parchment Jonathan's way.

Katherine was not oblivious to the attempts made by Wilkes to get her son in trouble. She was very pleased, however, that Jonathan didn't seem to be falling victim to the attacks. When she saw the larger wad though, she decided to intervene. She caught the wad before it could hit Jonathan or his shield. Some of the Gryffindors sniggered and Jonathan looked somewhat smug. The look on his mum's face when she unraveled the parchment though, quickly washed the smugness away.

"Detention, Mr. Wilkes," Katherine said, her face looking a little like Professor McGonagall's. "And that will be fifty points from Slytherin."

Katherine called the class to an end soon thereafter. While they were packing up their things and re-setting the desks, Katherine asked Jonathan to remain after class. He waited until they were alone before he approached her at the desk.

"Mum, I swear, I didn't…"

"I know, Jonathan," Katherine said holding up her hand. "I know you had nothing to do with Wilkes' attacks, and I'm proud you chose not to reciprocate."

"Oh, I'm going to get him back, but when I do, he'll have no idea it was me."

Katherine had to fight her smirk, which was a mixture of disdain and pride. His uncles would have been very proud of him in that moment.

"So…why did you ask me to stay?"

"Because of this."

Katherine showed him the parchment she intercepted. Jonathan picked it up and studied it carefully. The art work wasn't skillfully done, so it was hard to determine what it was. But, it appeared to be a crude drawing of two people kissing.

"Is this supposed to be you and…Professor Lupin?"

"That was my analysis as well."

Jonathan's jaw hardened and his knuckles turned white. It was one thing to say things about him, but to insinuate things about his Mum… His retribution on Wilkes would be ten-fold now.

"Jonathan!" Katherine said sharply.

"Yes Ma'am?"

"I asked if you got a lot of this."

"Oh, sorry. Do you mean a lot of you and Professor Lupin?"

Katherine nodded.

"No," Jonathan said quickly. "I'm sure it's just Wilkes trying to stir something up. He thinks I'm an easy target. He thinks that because you work here, then I won't dare try something. But like I said, he never knows it was me."

"I didn't realize that my teaching here made things so difficult for you."

"It doesn't," Jonathan assured her. "You're a brilliant astronomer. And McGonagall says N.E.W.T. attendance in astronomy has risen twelve percent since you took over. It's just Wilkes. If it wasn't me, he'd find someone else to bully. I'd rather it be me, because I can handle it."

Katherine smiled proudly. As much as Jonathan took after his uncle's mischief, he had their heart as well.

"You have McGonagall next, right?" she asked and Jonathan nodded. Katherine wrote out a quick note and handed it to him. "Here you go. You probably won't need it if you take the secret passages, but…just in case."

"Right, wait…" Katherine's words registered in Jonathan's head. "How do you know about the secret passages?"

Katherine merely smiled.

"Fine, keep your secrets for now. I'll see you later, Mum." Jonathan picked up his bag and headed towards the door. "Great lesson by the way. You and Professor Lupin have a similar style of teaching. Oh, and Mum…" he turned back around at the door. "It'd be all right if you wanted to."

"If I wanted to what?" Katherine asked, confused.

He pointed at the parchment on the desk. "What the drawing suggests. I'd be all right with it. Professor Lupin is brilliant too. He might be able to teach you a thing or two."

"Class, Mr. Porter."

Jonathan smirked as his Mum's cheeks turned red.

* * *

 **I kinda love Jonathan in this chapter. What about you? I definitely see some weird mix of Remus, James, and Sirius in him; the cheeky bugger. ;) And there's some definite flirtation going on between Remus and Katherine...please don't be too mad at me. I swear, there is a reason to my madness (not so much for Katherine's but...)**


	8. A Wolfsbane Tea

**Chapter 7**

 **A Wolfsbane Tea**

For his crude drawing that blatantly disrespected two professors, Wilkes received detention. He had to scrub all the boys' bathrooms by hand and without magic. He was also banned from Hogsmeade for the first term. For disrespecting me, Jonathan saw to it that Wilkes lost his hair.

Temporarily.

At least…it was supposed to be temporary.

On the night that Wilkes was to begin his detention, there was a large explosion of dung bombs, stink pellets, and a nasty little mess that vaguely resembled a swamp for Filch to clean. (I suspect the Weasley's lent their expertise.) It is supposed that something _may_ have fallen into the cleaning solutions that Wilkes was to use, and he had an adverse reaction to it. True to his word however, Jonathan left no evidence behind that he had been involved. Thus, without full hard proof, there was nothing I could do to punish Jonathan. Not that I really felt like looking too hard for evidence either.

The days slipped steadily on. September faded into October. Nights came on sooner and the air grew colder. Quidditch practice picked up for those participating as the first match, Gryffindor versus Slytherin, was set for the first weekend in November. Remus and I, despite a little awkwardness after Wilkes' drawing, continued to spend time together and we continued to get a little closer. Surprisingly, the friendlier Remus and Katherine became, the less Kate protested. I started having fewer memories and dreams appear, and the ones I did have were pleasant ones that reminded me why I had fallen for him in the first place.

In late October the first Hogsmeade weekend came around, and every student that could, left the castle for the day. Remus and I were in his office enjoying the use of his sonophone. Remus stepped out for a moment to receive the delivery of a grindylow, but he returned with much more.

"Harry!"

"Er—hi, Professor Porter."

"You know, Remus, he really doesn't look like a grindylow," I teased.

Remus smiled. "The grindylow is in the tank in the classroom; Harry is here for tea."

"Ah, yes, silly me."

"I'm afraid I only have tea bags," Remus said as he pulled out his kettle. He looked at Harry knowingly. "But, I dare say you've had enough of tea leaves."

Harry sat in a chair and ran his hand through his hair. "How did you know about that?"

"Professor McGonagall told me."

"Wait, what are you going on about?" I asked as I sat on the corner of Remus' desk.

"We're reading tea leaves in Divination and Professor Trelawney read mine. She…she said she saw the grim," Harry replied, making a clear effort not to sound worried.

"Is she still pulling that sh…" I stopped as Remus placed his hand over mine.

I stared at his hand for a moment, at the way it sat carelessly over mine. I could see the faint line of old scars; I could feel callouses on his fingers where his claws sprouted every month. There was an old, familiar stirring in the pit of my stomach that hadn't been there for years. I slowly brought my eyes up to look at his face. Our eyes met, and it was strange. Very strange. At the same moment I pulled my hand out from underneath his as he pulled his hand off of mine.

"S—sorry," I turned my attention back to Harry. His eyes were wide as they moved back and forth between the two of us. "She said something along those lines to Jonathan last year. So I crawled up into that lair of hers and gave her a right telling off. I said I thought she needed to get that 'inner eye' of hers checked for blindness. Then she had the gall to turn around and tell me that my own life line was running thin. As you plainly see, Harry, I'm still here as is Jonathan. I wouldn't put much stock in what she claims to see."

Harry smiled and took a sip of his tea. "Thanks, Ms. Porter."

"If you'd like, I can go pay her another visit; give her another talking too."

"Er—that's all right, but thanks for the offer."

My disappointment must have shown on my face.

"Jonathan's right, you can be a little scary sometimes…but in a good way."

I smiled. "Yes well…" I took a sip of tea. "All mothers of mischief makers take a class in how to be. … Molly's the teacher."

"Tell me," Remus began with a little cough. "Did the class cover tactful deliverance?"

I smirked. "Yes, but I skipped that lesson."

Remus and I laughed but Harry turned strangely quiet.

"Something bothering you, Harry?" Remus asked, noticing Harry's silence.

"No," Harry shook his head before quickly changing his mind. "Yes. Do you remember the day we fought the boggart?"

Remus and I shared a wary look before he responded.

"Yes."

"I…I was wondering…why didn't you let me face it?"

Remus and I answered at the same time. I rushed to defend him but he didn't deny the accusation.

"Harry, I'm sure…"

"I thought that would have been obvious." The three of us exchanged looks before Remus continued. "I assumed the boggart would take the shape of Lord Voldemort, and I thought that might insight a panic."

Harry seemed surprised, both at Lupin's confession and the use of Voldemort's name.

"I…I did think of Voldemort," Harry said. "At first, but then I remembered that Dementor on the train."

"Well! I am impressed, Harry," Remus said.

"Why?"

"Because that suggests that what you fear most is fear. This is very wise."

Harry took a sip of his tea, a small tint rising to his cheeks. I was proud but not surprised, given whom his parents were.

"I wish my boggart was a Dementor," I said absentmindedly. "I could handle that much easier."

"What…what was your boggart?" Harry asked. Remus looked at me carefully. I searched my mind quickly for an answer.

"A figure from my past," I said. "One I'd hoped to never see again."

Harry nodded, accepting the answer and not suspecting anything of it. Then his eyes brightened a bit as a thought occurred to him.

"Professor Porter, how would you handle a Dementor?"

There was a knock on the door that prevented me from answering.

"Ah, Severus, come in," Remus said.

Snape entered carrying a large goblet of wolfsbane potion. The next full moon was only four days away. Snape eyed Harry suspiciously and Harry returned the favor. Snape's sneer then turned my way. I smiled coldly.

"Reforming the pack, are we, Lupin?" Snape quipped. My smile vanished and I sent him a warning glare.

Remus simply smiled kindly.

"You can set that here on the desk. Thank you," Remus said. "Katherine and I were being nostalgic and enjoying some of the seventy's classics when Harry stopped by for tea."

"Fascinating," Snape drawled. "You should drink that directly. I've made a whole cauldron full, if you need more."

"Yes I will. Thank you, Severus." Snape turned with a swish of his cloak and fled the room. Remus slid the smoldering goblet across the desk to sit directly in front of him. Harry eyed the goblet warily.

"I've been feeling a bit off-color lately, and Professor Snape has kindly made a potion for me. It's the only thing that works." Remus took a gulp of the pungent potion and grimaced. "Pity sugar makes it useless."

"Couldn't…can you not make it yourself?" Harry asked as Remus took another swallow.

"I've never been much of a potion maker and this one is particularly complex. Professor Snape is one of the few who can brew it successfully," Remus replied. Harry looked to me.

"Unfortunately I can't either. I could, however, transfigure that chair you're sitting in into a pretty little cauldron or better yet, Snape into a bezoar."

Harry only smiled slightly. Remus took another swig.

"Professor Snape is very interested in the Dark Arts," he said. "Some people reckon…some people reckon he'd do anything to get the Defense Against the Dark Arts job."

Remus drained the last of the potion.

"I think what our dear Harry is trying to get at is, that he thinks Snape may have slipped something extra into your potion," I said to Remus before turning to Harry, "I know you and Professor Snape have your differences, Harry, but Dumbledore trusts him. And if Dumbledore trusts him…" I paused. The next bit was hard to say, and I did my best to make it convincing. "…Then we should too."

 **XXX**

 ** _27 October 1993_**

Jonathan walked into the hospital wing. His Mum was laying on one of the beds in the back, as expected, but he didn't expect to see Professor Lupin sitting beside her bed. Remus heard Jonathan approaching and stood as though he'd been planning on leaving just then anyway. Jonathan had to fight his smile.

"Evening, Mr. Porter," Remus said quietly.

"Evening, Professor. You can call me Jonathan, you know; I won't tell anyone."

Remus smiled. "Your Mum just fell asleep, I'm afraid. A minute sooner and you would have caught her awake."

"A minute sooner would have been too early then. I was hoping to catch her asleep."

Remus furrowed his eyebrows.

"If she knew I was here, she'd try to get up and go to class like nothing was wrong. I just brought her something for when she wakes up."

"Chocolate?"

"Fixes everything, right? 'Least, that what Mum thinks. Me? I don't much care for the stuff."

Jonathan shrugged and placed the bar of Honeydukes chocolate on the table by Katherine's bed. Then he and Remus left the hospital wing together. They walked in silence for a moment and Remus took it for worry.

"She'll be fine, Jonathan," he said.

"What? Oh, yeah! I know. She gets like this every year. Granted, it's not usually this bad, or this soon. I suppose it comes with the job."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, if you think about it, she spends three sometimes four hours on the highest tower, at night, and during the winter, rain or snow. She'll stay up there longer if she's star gazing. You'd think she'd remember to cast a simple warming charm." Jonathan chuckled; Remus smiled.

"It was good of you to stop by and see her."

Jonathan shrugged. "It's my job to, isn't it? I have to look out for her; I have to…protect her."

Something about the way Jonathan said those words resonated with Remus. It was almost as though someone else was saying them. Remus shook the thought from his head. It wasn't possible; _they_ were gone. Jonathan seemed to remember something too.

"Professor Lupin, do you remember that dementor on the train?"

"Yes," Remus nodded.

"Well you… you said they force you to re-live your worst memories."

"That's right."

Student and Professor came to a silent pause in the corridor. Remus could tell there was something Jonathan wanted to say, but he seemed hesitant to say it.

"Jonathan, I may be friends with your mother, but that doesn't mean I can't be your confidant as well. If there is something you wish to confide in me, you may do so freely."

Jonathan smiled feebly. "I…I think I saw the day my dad left."

"You think?"

"Yeah…I was young, so I don't really remember and the image was blurry. But I heard a voice, a man's voice, and there was this…feeling that I knew him well. He…He said I had to take of my Mum, that I had to protect her. Then he left, and my Mum was really upset; her cries were kind of haunting. I…I don't know if he just left us, or if he died in the war."

"You mother never told you?"

"No, but I never asked her either, at least, not that I remember. Well, I did ask about him once when I got my letter. I asked if he was a wizard and if they met at school. She said that they did."

"So he was American then?"

"What?"

"Your mother went to Ilvermorny, right? So your father must have been American if they met at school? What are the chances of two Brits choosing Ilvermorny over Hogwarts?" Remus said light heartedly, hoping to bring a smile to the young boy's face. It worked.

"I wouldn't think it possible for _one_ to choose Ilvermorny, let alone two." Jonathan smirked.

"Oi! Silvereyes!" Fred Weasley called while his twin brother waved him over.

"Silvereyes?" Remus questioned, his eyebrows rising.

Jonathan flushed a deep crimson. "Uh…it's a long story. But… uh…Look, thanks for not telling my Mum about what I heard with the dementor. And thanks for seeing that she got to the hospital wing."

"It was my pleasure, er—I mean, it was no problem."

Jonathan's flushed cheeks turned into a smirk. "But, Professor, maybe you should head back to Madam Pomfrey. You're looking a bit ill yourself."

"I have been feeling a bit off, lately. Maybe I will take your advice, Jonathan. Now, I think your friends want you."

Jonathan smiled and began jogging over to the twins.

"And, Jonathan," Remus called out. "Try not to get into too much trouble while your Mum is sick."

Jonathan smirked and shrugged a shoulder. "I can't make any promises, Professor."


	9. A Halloween Escapade

**Chapter 8**

 **A Halloween Escapade**

I stood on the viewing deck of the Astronomy Tower gazing at the array of stars. It was Halloween night and I'd used the entrance of the Ghosts at the feast to slip out undetected. I had a tradition to uphold. I raised my wand and sent up a beam of light. In response a gentle wind rustled my hair. I closed my eyes with a content sigh; it was almost as though they were embracing me, and I took a moment to relish in that feeling.

A moment that was rudely interrupted.

"Loony Miss Moony, staring up at the sky. Loony Miss Moony thought she might cry."

"What are doing here, Peeves?" I asked.

"What I always do."

"Star gazing?"

Peeves responded by sticking out his tongue and blowing a raspberry.

"Very mature, Peeves."

"Loony Miss Moony, nine lives has she. Loony Miss Moony…"

"Hey Peeves!" I cut across him. "Do you have any chewing gum?" I asked, remembering Remus telling me about how Peeves tried to put chewing gum in broom cupboard lock until Remus interrupted him.

I smirked while the poltergeist turned ten shades of red. At least, I imagined he would have turned red. Peeves flew off angrily. It probably wasn't very wise to upset a poltergeist, but oh well. I wanted him gone and it worked. I resumed my star gazing and my silent memorial in peace.

I didn't stay long, with it being so cold and me fresh over the flu. Before leaving I wiped the tears from my eyes and checked to make sure my scars weren't showing. They sometimes liked to in times of distress. Before descending the stairs, I took one last look at the stars above.

"I miss you," I whispered.

Another gentle breeze washed over me.

I knew the feast was likely to be over, so I began patrolling the halls looking for wayward students. As I came upon a nook, I illuminated my wand and revealed two seventh years. The girl blushed shamelessly before hurrying off. I smiled fondly as the boy went in a separate direction. I remembered the days Remus and I would…

"Ashamed, Your Headship, Sir," Peeves said in an oily voice.

I rounded the corner and came upon some commotion outside the Fat Lady portrait. It seemed the whole of Gryffindor house was down the other hall. Dumbledore was there, along with McGonagall, Snape, and Remus. My view of the Fat Lady was obstructed.

"What's going on?" I whispered to Remus as Peeves went on about the Fat Lady.

"The Fat Lady is missing," he whispered back. "Her portrait is shredded."

"What?" I leaned back in shock.

Dumbledore shifted slightly and that's when I saw the portrait for myself. Or, what was left of it at least. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hands.

"Did she say who did it?" Dumbledore asked.

"Oh yes, Professorhead," Peeves replied. "He got very angry when she wouldn't let him in, you see. Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

A silent hush fell over the crowd, as we took a moment to register his words. I pushed my way to the front.

"Wait, are you saying he was here, Peeves? Sirius was in the castle and he…" I looked towards the painting in disbelief.

"Loony Miss Moony's been star gazing too long, now she's star dazed." Peeves pulled a face and zoomed off with a cackle.

A panic began to spread down the hall. Whispers and murmurs of "Sirius Black" floated around. But I stood frozen in time. Sirius? Here? Why? What was he thinking? What was he after?

Dumbledore called for silence from the students and began issuing orders. McGonagall was to look for Filch to have him search the portraits for the Fat Lady. Snape was to search the dungeons for Sirius.

 _That's the last place he'd go._

"I'll search the grounds," I said. He wouldn't go to the dungeons, but there is one place he might go.

"I'll help you," Remus said as he stepped up beside me.

"I…"

"That's a great idea," Dumbledore jumped in before I could say I'd be fine alone. I couldn't search for Sirius properly…I couldn't transform if I was with Remus. Surely Dumbledore knew that. Didn't he?

I stared at the Headmaster for a moment, trying to convey my thoughts telepathically. But I was no Legilimens.

"Yeah… Yeah, thanks." I tried to smile at Remus.

The students were ushered into the Great Hall where they would be locked in while the staff searched for Sirius. Remus and I didn't talk as we followed behind the students. I was too preoccupied with trying to figure about what Sirius was thinking. I knew what most people thought he was trying to do, but I didn't for one second think he was going after Harry. It didn't make sense. If only there was some way I could break away from Remus and sniff him out to ask him.

"Mum! Mum!" Jonathan's voice cut through the bustle and stirred me from my thoughts.

I turned towards the Great Hall and quickly caught sight of him pushing his way over to me. I saw something in his eye that I haven't seen in a long while. Fear. Instantly my brain kicked into Protective Mummy Mode.

"Jonathan," I pulled him in for a quick hug; he didn't refuse. "It will be alright. Sirius Black won't hurt you."

"I'm not worried about me, Mum."

"I'll have you know, Mr. Porter, that I am capable of more than simple star gazing, despite what Peeves thinks."

"I know," he smiled faintly. "But still, will you look after her?" He looked over my shoulder at Remus.

"Of course," Remus said as he stepped forward.

"And who's going to look after you?" I asked Remus.

"I guess you'll have to look after each other, best stay close then," Jonathan quipped quickly. Something about the glint in his eyes made me think that perhaps he had planned for this somehow.

"Jonathan Harold Porter, if this is some ploy…"

"It's not. I swear," he said with wide eyes. It was easy to see that the underlying fear was still there.

"I'll come find you when it's over. Will that be all right?"

"Yeah…yeah…that will be all right." I knew he was trying to sound like he didn't care either way, and it felt good knowing that he did. I pulled him in close again and kissed his forehead. This time he didn't protest, or attempt to wipe it away.

"Go in the Hall now, Jonathan. I'll be back before you know it."

Jonathan nodded and slowly stepped back. He locked eyes with Remus for moment, and I had the strange sensation that they were communicating silently. Then Jonathan turned and jogged into the hall. I stayed rooted to my spot long enough for the great oak doors to shut.

"Katherine, we really should begin our search," Remus said gently.

"Merlin that feels good!"

"What?" he asked as I turned around. I could tell he was a bit confused.

"This feeling of being wanted, of being _needed_. It's nice to know that when things go a little awry he still looks to his Mummy to makes things right."

Remus smiled as we began walking. "A boy always needs his Mum."

I gave him a look that said I thought differently and he chuckled.

"There are a…few years where we like to think otherwise. But then we realize we've just been making right arses of ourselves and we come back to our senses."

I laughed, but my smile was quickly wiped off my face as we stepped outside. I swore under my breath and wrapped my arms around my torso tightly. The temperature had dropped drastically since I was on the tower. Remus chuckled as he tried to pry my arms apart.

"You know, a warming charm can go a long way."

"I know how to perform a warming charm, Remus… but God! They never come out this good!" I placed my gloved hands on my face to spread the warmth. Remus stood with a confident smirk. "You can wipe that smile off your face."

"Most people would say 'thank you' after being helped."

"Most people wouldn't look so smug after helping someone."

He laughed. "All right, fair point. I'll keep that in mind the next time I offer assistance to someone."

I didn't fail to notice that he did nothing to remedy his smugness now.

"So, where did you go?" Remus asked as we began our search for Sirius.

"What do you mean? I'm right here." I could feel Remus roll his eyes.

"I meant during the feast. I saw you slip away as the Ghosts came in."

"You saw me?" I didn't sit in my usual spot next to Remus at the feast. Instead I chose to sit on the other end near a hidden door so I could slip out unnoticed. Apparently, it wasn't as unnoticed as I'd anticipated. That or…

"Were you watching me?" I asked.

"No…I….er…."

Remus fell silent after fumbling for a response. I'd meant the words lightly, but clearly I'd misjudged their meaning. Remus was at a loss for words…and I was too suddenly. What did it mean if he had been watching me? We'd been spending a lot of time together. I couldn't deny that I was attracted to him; he was just as smart, just as funny, and just as physically attractive as he was twenty years ago. I was bound to be attracted to him still. My physical appearance may be different, but my tastes were the same.

What about his though? Was he still attracted to the quiet, bookish girl? (Was I still classified as that type? I felt different.) Or did he prefer something else now? Was he attracted to Katherine? Could he forget Kate so easily?

Wait! What?! Did I really just… What is this feeling? Is it anger? Jealousy? Can you be jealous of yourself?

I decided I didn't want to know if Remus had been watching me. It would only complicate things too much.

"Please, don't answer that," I said.

We continued our search in a semi-awkward silence. I wondered if now might be the time to try and break away from him so I could continue on alone. Just as I was about to suggest that we go in different directions though, some unknown force stopped me. I promptly snapped my mouth shut with a slight popping sound. Remus looked over at me.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Wha—what?"

"Were you about to say something?"

"I…uhmm… Yes…" I paused. Remus waited patiently.

Come on Katherine, this is the perfect opening. Simply say, ' _maybe we should split up to cover more ground.'_

"How's Jonathan?" _What!_ Even Remus seemed confused as his eyebrows rose.

"In your class…I mean. It's just… when I covered it last month I couldn't help but notice that Wilkes seemed to have it in for him."

"And you want to know if Jonathan has retaliated?" Remus said, nodding his head in understanding. "Wilkes has made several attempts at seeking a rise out of Jonathan, but your son is a very bright boy. Jonathan has yet to take the bait. Coincidentally, Wilkes seems to befall to the most unfortunate of accidents."

I laughed loudly and Remus joined in. "I think you and I both know 'coincidence' has nothing to do with that."

"It does seem unlikely that one person could be so unlucky."

"I am glad to hear that Jonathan not retaliating in class is the norm and not some fluke because I was there."

"You are aware, however, that it is entirely possibly that Wilkes knows his accidents aren't simply accidents."

"Oh I hope so, for his sake. Surely he's not that daft. Unfortunately, Jonathan is far too much like his uncles not to seek retribution in some manner. But he got his smarts from me."

"Uncles? So you have brothers then?"

A deep, penetrating ache rose within me. "No," I whispered. "Had. I _had_ brothers, three of them, but they're….they're all gone now."

"God, Katherine, I am so sorry I swear, I had no idea."

 _That was kind of the whole point_.

"That's…That's alright…"

"They say talking about it helps; just know that my ears are available if you need them."

Talking about it was actually the last thing I wanted to do.

"I don't know what's worse," I said unexpectedly. "Losing them all in a single day, or knowing that Jonathan never got the chance to know them. He was too young to remember them now."

"That is tough. But you know, the ones we love are never really gone. We find them again, or bits of them at least. Sometimes it's obvious, and sometimes it hits us quite unexpectedly."

We'd stopped walking somewhere in the vicinity of the Whomping Willow. There were relatively few clouds out and the moon was still full enough to provide a decent light. I looked up at Remus only to find him looking at me curiously. The lines of his forehead were curved inward in a look I knew well. He was deep in thought. He wasn't simply thinking though. He was thinking about me. But was he thinking about me as Katherine or was he trying to reconcile me with Kate?

Suddenly, a noise that sounded vaguely like snapping twig caught our attention and interrupted Remus' thought. We both turned our head in the direction of the noise.

"Did that sound like it came from…"

"…the Whomping Willow? Yes, it did," he said tightly. There was a new look on his face now: anger.

We both stood rooted to our spot, trying to use our sensitive hearing to listen for any other noise. But we heard nothing but the beating of our own hearts.

"We should investigate that." I held my wand ready in my hand while I began to inch towards the monstrous tree.

"Katherine, wait!" Remus whispered as he grabbed my arm. "Please, be careful. Black, he's a…"

"Mass murder?" I finished lightly. "So they say."

"'So they say?' You don't believe he's guilty?" he asked incredulously.

"Do you?" I shot back. He looked pained for a moment as he considered my question. Then I saw a look I thought I'd never see in him. Defeat. And I was angry.

"I know what he did was…unimaginable, but you don't know Black like I did, or like I thought I did."

"Know him?" I said angrily. _Like hell you knew him! If you really knew him like_ **I** _did, then you'd know there was no way he did_ **everything** _he was accused of._

"Yes…I knew him in school," Remus continued on, oblivious to my anger. "We were friends."

"And would you so easily turn on your friends like he's said to have done?"

He looked pained again. Maybe because my accusation was so similar to one I'd issued years ago when I'd accused him of walking out on his friends.

"You don't understand, Katherine."

 _"You don't understand, Kate,"_ The memory of his words echoed.

"I think I understand a little more than you think."

Shut up, Katherine! Do you want him to figure out your secret already?

"I…I understand that there are two sides to every story," I said. "And I think there's more to this story than either of us know."

I turned and began heading towards the Whomping Willow without Remus. I didn't make it more than ten paces before a shadow came around the side of the tree. I shot a stream of light at the figure.

"Crookshanks?"

The ginger cat mewled.

"Do you know that cat?" Remus asked softly, his voice a little strained.

"It's Hermione's," I replied. I chanced a look at him to find his head was bowed. I quickly looked away.

"Crookshanks, come here," I commanded. The cat mewled again before weaving itself through my legs. I picked him up and nestled him to my chest. "What are you doing out here?"

He just mewled in response.

I looked back to the Willow. It had almost looked like Crookshanks had come from the tunnel. I looked back up at Remus to see if he'd noticed anything. His eyes were still trained on the ground.

"I don't think we're going to find Sirius Black out here now," I said.

Remus nodded solemnly "I think you may be right. We can circle back around to the castle."

We did so in a tense silence. It seems our innate attraction to each other wasn't they only think to survive the years. We could still argue fiercely. As we walked it was like a new coldness settled in over us. We made it back to the castle entrance without speaking a word to each other.

"I have to go find Jonathan, and give Hermione her cat."

"Yeah, and I have some work to finish."

We turned and walked away at the same time.

* * *

 **You didn't think it was going to be all honky-dory now, did you? Katherine and Remus are just beginning their roller coaster of emotions.**


	10. A Memorable Match

**Chapter 9**

 **A Memorable Match**

The castle was abuzz with talk of Sirius' escapade on Halloween night. The students talked about nothing else while we Professors did our best to quell the subject. We refused to engage in conversations that concerned Sirius and tried our best to dispel any rumors pertaining to him. Some professors went so far as to find reasons to walk with Harry to his next lesson, but I never saw the point. Everyone seemed to forget about the upcoming Quidditch match until Friday; then Sirius and his break in were forgotten.

As for me and Remus, things came to a dead stop following our rift. We barely spoke to each other, unless it was to say "Good morning, can you pass the blackberry jam please?" It was all rather pathetic. What made matters worse, the memories decided to return. My mood was rather grumpier for it too.

By the time Saturday came around, I was really looking forward to a good Quidditch match-up for a distraction. Saturday came, however, with a torrential downpour. There were few things for which a Quidditch match would be called for, and a bit of rain wasn't one of them. So after breakfast I wrapped up tightly, cast an impervious charm on myself, and carried a jar of flames out to the pitch.

The pitch was decked out in banners of Red, Black, and Gold. The match was originally scheduled to be Gryffindor versus Slytherin, but the Slytherin Seeker Draco Malfoy was claiming that he was still incapable of using his arm after an incident with a Hippogriff named Buckbeak that occurred during the first week of classes (nine weeks ago!) It was a show of typical Malfoy cowardice. If the school played by league rules, then Slytherin would have been forced to play without their Seeker or forfeit the match. However, since this was school and it was "just for fun," Gryffindor was now playing Hufflepuff.

I sat in the Headmasters Box along with most of the other Professors and Dumbledore. McGonagall was, as usual, in the press box with Lee Jordan. And if Remus was there, he was sitting elsewhere.

The match went on for some time with the score going back and forth. Gryffindor was slowly taking the lead. The skies were gradually darkening, and the rain was steadily falling harder. When Gryffindor was up by fifty points, Wood called for a time out.

"What is Miss Granger doing on the pitch?" Flitwick asked no one in particular.

I leaned in towards him so I wouldn't have to shout. "I imagine she's casting and impervious charm on Harry's glasses."

"That girl is brilliant."

"She may have just won us the match."

"Now, now," Professor Sprout said from behind us. "Don't discount Mr. Diggory so easily. Harry may be faster, but Cedric is less likely to be blown off course by this wind."

"It makes little difference who wins this match anyways. They'll still have to face Ravenclaw and we've a superb team this year," Flitwick said with a squeak.

I laughed. "Were you Professors always this vocal at matches?"

"Indeed, Miss Porter," Dumbledore said with a twinkling smile.

"Oh! Oh look!" Sprout shouted suddenly. "What did I say? He's spotted it! Mr. Diggory's seen the Snitch!"

I looked to where she was pointing excitedly. Sure enough, Cedric was speeding down the pitch chasing after something my eyes couldn't detect through all the rain. I looked around for Harry's location. He'd seen the Snitch too, or at least, he'd seen Diggory flying towards it. But Harry was quite far behind.

"Come on Harry!" I cheered.

No sooner had I begun cheering, however, and a bitter, icy cold came over the stands. A swarm of Dementors flew over the stands in Harry's direction, while several others headed around the stadium for the spectators. I had no time to think about what I was doing. I simply acted on instinct. I pulled out my wand, spoke the incantation, and focused on my happiest memories.

 _ **12 August 1989**_

 _"Mum!" Jonathan's voice squeaked slightly as he called for me. He came running into the kitchen a moment later, an envelope in his hand. I smiled._

 _"It's here! It came!" he exclaimed._

 _"Oh? Are you so certain of what it is?"_

 _"Look at it, Mum! What else could it be? It's just as you described it: thick yellow parchment, green ink, and no stamp! And look at how it's addressed!" He held it up for me to see again._

 _Mr. J Porter_

 _Second Bedroom on the Left_

 _5 Privet Drive_

 _Little Whinging_

 _Surrey_

 _"I see that, Jonathan, but I also see that you haven't opened it yet. Go on then. What are you waiting for? Christmas?"_

 _Jonathan grinned madly before tearing open his letter and reading it aloud._

 _"Dear Mr. Porter… We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September first. We await your owl by no later than July thirty-first!"_

 _With each new sentence his voice grew louder._

 _"And then it's signed by someone name McGonagall! See! I told you it came!"_

 _"Well of course it did, Sweetheart. I never had a doubt." I pulled him in close and kissed the top of his head affectionately. "I'm so happy for you."_

 _"Thanks! Oh! I almost forgot. You got one too!"_

 _"Me?" I took the letter he offered in shock. It was made of the same yellow parchment and written in the same green ink. It was addressed as such:_

 _Ms. K. Porter_

 _First Bedroom on the Left_

 _5 Privet Drive_

 _Little Whinging_

 _Surrey_

 _"Well go on, open it! What are you waiting for? Christmas?" Jonathan mocked._

 _I opened my letter with a little more poise and read it quietly to myself._

 _"Huh."_

 _"What? What does it say?" he asked._

 _"How would you feel… if I went to Hogwarts too?"_

 _"How do you mean?"_

 _"There's a position opening up as the Astronomy Professor. The Headmaster wants to know if I'd be interested in it. Of course, if you don't want me to go, I won't."_

 _"Are you kidding, Mum? It's brilliant! You have to go! I can't imagine going without you!"_

 ** _6 November 1993_**

My Patronus leapt from stand to stand quickly, bringing relief to the affected students. But it wasn't enough to deter the Dementors pursuing Harry. So I dug deeper into my memories.

 _ **12 August 1978**_

 _I walked into the old house, heart racing excitedly, and my luggage floating alongside me. The hall was silent but I could hear the faint hum of music coming from a room in the back. I paused at the door and glanced behind me at Peter and Jacob._

 _"Are you ready?" I whispered._

 _Peter nodded._

 _"They're going to be psyched to see us," I said._

 _"Wait? You didn't tell them we were coming?" Jacob asked, sounding worried._

 _"No. Well…they know, but I may have told them the wrong day…accidentally…oh alright, it was on purpose," I added at Peter's blatant look of disbelief._

 _"And people think James is the wicked one," Peter said with a shake of his head._

 _"Where do you think I got it from? Come on."_

 _I pushed open the door and stepped into a brightly lit room with a small crowd of Order members. There was a slight pause as everyone looked around to see who had arrived. Then there was another pause before they realized we were early._

 _"Kate!" Lily shouted before running over and throwing her arms around me in a tight hug. James and Sirius were right behind her, fighting for attention._

 _"You're early!" Lily said, her excitement evident in her voice._

 _"Surprise!" I replied._

 _"And blonde," James said holding up bits of my hair._

 _"I don't like it," Sirius added._

 _"Gee thanks," I said. "I hate it too, but I figured if I was going to try and pass as Pete's sister, I needed to at least look the part. I'm changing it back as soon as I can."_

 _"You wouldn't have had to change it if we'd simply been dating like I suggested," Peter pointed out._

 _"Well yeah, but that would have been weird don't you think?"_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Because," I said. "I'm kind of shagging your best mate. Speaking of, where is that furry bum of his?"_

 _"I do not need to know how furry Moony's bum is," James groaned._

 _"Well it's…"_

 _"How was America?" Sirius asked, quickly cutting me off. "And who's your friend?"_

 _"It was…different," I answered before introducing Jacob to the group._

 _"Well, well, well, if it isn't Wicked Eyes."_

 _"And this is Prewitt Number One, and Prewitt Number Two," I said._

 _"I never know which one of us is One and which is Two."_

 _"Well obviously I'm One; I'm older."_

 _"Yeah, but I'm prettier."_

 _"We're identical."_

 _"You two are certifiably mental; you do know that right?" I laughed. "Merlin! I've missed you!" I threw an arm around each of them and hugged them together. As I stepped out of the hug I did another quick scan of the room._

 _"He's not here yet," Lily said in my ear._

 _"Where is he?"_

 _"Dumbledore's got him keeping tabs on the Wolves," James said._

 _"The same Wolves that Greyback leads?" I asked._

 _"The very ones." He smiled sadly and I pulled my lip in between my teeth._

 _"Moony's tough, Leo. He can handle Greyback," Sirius said encouragingly._

 _I nodded in agreement. "You're right. I shouldn't worry. He will be here though, right?"_

 _"He's usually a few minutes late, but yeah he'll be here."_

 _"Oh! I can't take this anymore!" Lily said suddenly._

 _She threw her hand in my face so quickly that I had to lean back so as to not be smacked. I immediately saw what had her so excited though. I ripped her hand down to get a better look._

 _"Oh my!"_

 _"I know!"_

 _"You're…"_

 _"Uh-huh!"_

 _"He…"_

 _"Yup!"_

 _"And you…"_

 _"Yes!"_

 _And then we squealed so shrilly and so suddenly, that everyone in close proximity to us had to cover their ears. We hugged tightly._

 _"You'll be my Maid of Honor?"_

 _"What? Me? I…Yes! Of course!"_

 _"We're going to be sisters!"_

 _"I've always wanted a sister!" We hugged again._

 _"Don't I get a congratulatory hug as well?" James asked, but I waved him off._

 _"So when is it, or have you not set a date yet?"_

 _"The twenty-seventh of September," Lily said._

 _"Of…Seventy-nine right?"_

 _She shook her head. "Seventy-eight."_

 _"Seven…but that's next month! Are you…?"_

 _"No, no, I just didn't see the point in waiting."_

 _"I did enough of that at Hogwarts," James said under his breath._

 _"Precisely. Besides, it's just going to be a small ceremony. You're parents and mine, and our closest friends at the chapel in Godric's Hollow. That's all I need."_

 _"It sounds perfect. I'm so happy for you. For you both," I said turning to James and giving him his hug at last._

 _ **13 August 1978**_

 _I lay on the bed, a little clammy and slightly out of breath._

 _"Wow," I said. "Maybe I should go away more often."_

 _"No," Remus said as he snuggled into me. He buried his face in my neck so that his lips brushed against my skin as he spoke. "Never. I'm never letting you leave again."_

 _"Oh? Did you miss me or something?"_

 _"Or something." He smiled._

 _I laughed and turned onto my side to face him. I ran a hand over his cheek and behind his ear._

 _"I missed you too," I said before kissing him._

Thinking of Remus led to several flashes of the two of us together. There were even a few from the last two months. Harry was still being pursued though.

 _ **12 August 1979**_

 _"Ahhhh…."_

 _Suddenly my scream was met by an equally fierce wailing and a great release of pressure. I fell into the pile of pillows breathlessly. After a few agonizing moments, in which the wailing slowly stopped, the nurse walked over and handed me a small, tightly wrapped bundle._

 _"Congratulations, Miss Potter. You have a son," she said._

 _My eyes instantly swelled with tears as I took in his pink face and pinched eyes._

 _"Oh, Kate, he's precious," Lily gushed at my side. "What are you going to name him?"_

 _There was only one name I had in mind._

 _"Jonathan," I said softly. "Jonathan Harold."_

 _Lily smiled tenderly. "It's perfect."_

 ** _6 November 1993_**

My Patronus burst forth, no longer a single leopard leaping from stand to stand, but a large enveloping mass. It swallowed the whole stadium in a radiating glow causing the Dementors to flee as quickly as they'd come. Unfortunately, it looked like the damage had already been done. It was like watching the incident in slow motion. Harry leaned sideways and fell from his broom.

 **XXX**

I paced nervously up and down the aisle in the hospital wing. I was unable to sit still like the others were; the leopard was too agitated. As he was falling, Dumbledore managed to slow Harry's decent, but he still hit the ground rather hard. Madam Pomfrey said there didn't appear to be any major injuries, but she couldn't do a full work up without Harry's input. And he was currently unconscious.

"Katherine, the pacing won't make him wake up faster," Madam Pomfrey said softly.

"No? And what will? Tell me and I'll see that it happens."

"You know it doesn't work like that. The mind has to heal on its own. You of all people should understand that."

Madam Pomfrey was the only person apart from the Heads of House that knew my secret. Since Jonathan was the son of a werewolf, we didn't really know what changes puberty might bring about. So we thought it best to inform Poppy just in case monthly arrangements needed to be made. Fortunately, they didn't.

"I do. I do understand, but that doesn't make it any easier to handle. How did Mum remain so calm all the time? If I stop pacing my hand does this." I held up my hand to show the healer how it shook. "I prefer the pacing."

Madam Pomfrey scrunched her face in worry. "You look pale too. I heard about the Patronus; such a strong one really takes its toll on the caster. I can whip up a tonic to help you relax if you'd like me to."

"Yeah, alright," I said with a nod.

She smiled and turned towards her office.

"Poppy, while you're at it, how about some more of that sleeping draught? After today, I have a feeling tonight is going to be rough."

She nodded and continued on her way. I resumed my pacing.

Not long after Pomfrey left, the hospital doors opened and Remus walked in. He looked nearly as disheveled as I felt. His eyes took in the crowd around Harry's bed before finding mine. I walked over to him.

"Has…has he woken yet?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. Poppy doesn't think there's major damage, but she doesn't really know without his help."

"What happened? Dumbledore was furious. He said something about Dementors, but I didn't fully catch it."

"They attacked the students at the match." I choked on my sobs as I tried to keep my tears back. "I guess the excitement of it all was too much for them to ignore. Several of them went after Harry. He fainted and fell off his broom. I tried to chase them away, but there were so many of them. I wasn't strong enough, or I didn't act fast enough, or…"

"You did great, Katherine," Remus said, cutting me off and placing a hand on my shoulder. "I heard about your Patronus. They said it covered the whole stadium like a blanket."

"Only in the end, and only because I thought of the first time I held Jonathan…"

My voice cracked with emotion and suddenly I felt myself being tugged forward as Remus wrapped his arm around me. A few tears leaked out, but the overall nervous jitters seemed to fade.

"I can't lose him, Remus. I can't." I clutched at his robes as I gave into the tears.

"Shh, No one's losing anyone today." His hand slid over my back soothingly as I inhaled his calming scent.

"Harry," Fred said suddenly. I pushed out of Remus' embrace quickly and walked back over to the bed, wiping the tears from my face as I went. "How are you feeling?"

"What happened?" Harry asked.

"You fell, what, was it…fifty feet?"

"We thought you died," Alicia Spinnet, one of the chasers, said.

"But the match? What happened? Are we doing a replay?" Harry asked.

"You fall fifty feet off your broom and you're worried about losing a bloody match?" I said. In all honesty though, if I hadn't been so worried and upset I would have laughed.

"We lost?"

"Diggory got the Snitch," said George.

"Enough of this, move aside Jonathan." I ushered him out of the way so I could sit next to Harry. "You can talk about Quidditch later, but first, how do you feel Harry? Anything feel broken? Any pain? Any numbness?"

He shook his head no. "I feel fine, Professor Porter."

"Alright, now follow my finger."

"Professor, really…"

"Appease me, Harry. Do you know how many knocks to the head Jonathan took when he was younger?"

"You know, that may explain some things," Jonathan quipped.

"Shove it, Jonathan," I said. "Now, Harry…" I held my finger up before his face. I moved it from side to side and up and down a few times. His eyes followed it easily. Then I held up a few more fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Six," he replied. My eyes widened. "Three! Sorry! It was only three. I was just trying to be funny."

I stood up and turned to face Madam Pomfrey who had just returned.

"Well?" she asked me.

"I'm no healer, but I am a mother. There doesn't appear to be any major head trauma, and I think it's safe to his smart-arsery is fully functional."

"Professor!" she scolded.

"Relax, Poppy. We're like this weird, convoluted family."

"Yeah, Professor Porter's our future Aunt," Fred chimed in.

"What?" I turned around quickly to eye him.

"We heard Mum talking you up to Bill this summer," George replied.

"If she married your brother she'd be your sister-in-law, not your aunt," Katie Bell pointed out.

"Unbelievable," I said with an eye roll. I turned back to Harry. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Professor," he said. "I told you didn't have to worry about me."

"And I told you that a mother never stops worrying. Face it Harry, you're a part of this convoluted family too."

"Yeah, she could your Aunt-Sister as well," George said.

"Mum's practically adopted you already," Fred added.

The group began talking about Quidditch again, and what would need to happen for Gryffindor to remain in the running for the cup. I turned back to Madam Pomfrey and took the vials she offered me.

"Thanks," I said. "I promise to only use them if I need them now. I may be alright without the nerve relaxant, but I'll probably still need the sleeping draught."

"Just be careful, Katherine. And I promise to keep you informed on Harry's condition."

"I'd appreciate it." I turned back towards the door, remembering that Remus was there as well, only to find that he wasn't. He had already left.


	11. A Patronus Lesson

**It's so nice out today (it's February at 80 degrees F and I don't live in the southern hemisphere, go figure!) that I almost forgot to post this because I'm sitting outside writing a new chapter. Oh well, better late than never right!**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

 **A Patronus Lesson**

Apparently Remus and I still weren't talking, even after our little moment in the Hospital Wing, and I had no idea why this time. It was worse this time too. It was almost like he went out of his way to avoid me. He took to sitting at the far end of the table. If I was in the staff room working and he came in, he'd act as though he forgot something and leave…and not come back. I eventually stopped spending time in the staff room and tried to bear it out in my office. It was so bad, that when the full moon came around a few weeks later he couldn't bring himself to ask me to cover his classes. Dumbledore came in his stead.

It was Tuesday night. I was on the tower, preparing for my first class of the night when he showed up.

"It's a nice night for Astronomy," he said.

"Professor Dumbledore, I thought you were my second years." I looked up from my telescope. "It's a nice night to study the moon at least. It's a little too bright for much else. How can I help you, Sir?" I stepped back from the scope.

"I was wondering if Professor Lupin stopped by to see you today."

"Ah, he seems to have been too busy to say much to me these past few weeks. Why? Is he all right?"

"Yes, yes he is well. But if would seem that in the commotion of the last few weeks he forgot to ask someone to cover his classes tomorrow."

"Say no more, Professor. Of course I'll do it. Do you know what classes I'll have or the lessons planned?"

Dumbledore waved his hand and a copy of Remus' time table appeared in my hand. "I'm sure you can find his lesson plans in his office."

The tower door opened again and my Gryffindor and Ravenclaw students began filing in. They paused when the saw the Headmaster there.

"Come in, or out rather. We'll be on the upper viewing deck tonight. Miss Clearwater, will you see to it that no one tries to climb on the ledge, and Miss Weasley will you grab my scope for me. Thanks."

"Well, I will leave you to your teaching and thank you for your help Professor Porter. I will pass the word along."

As Dumbledore left to go back inside, I jogged up to the deck.

"Alright! Who's ready to have a little fun? Break into teams of two and plot for me the Man in the Moon. Fifteen points will be awarded to the team with the best accuracy, and five to the most creative. You time begins…Now!"

 _ **24 November 1993**_

By the time Harry's class came in at eleven the next morning, I was already tired.

"Is Professor Lupin sick again?"

"You know, Mr. Weasley, a less understanding Professor might interpret that tone as disappointment. If you'd rather I leave, I can always see if Professor Snape is available," I said.

"No!" the whole class said together. Snape had covered the class last month while I was in hospital. And, evidently, he'd assigned them all to write an essay on Werewolves.

"Now that makes me feel better. You still like me more than Snape."

"No offense, Professor, but that's not saying much; we like Professor Binns more than Snape," Dean said, to which the class laughed.

"I think he likes you more too."

"Professor Porter, yer know you'll always by me favorite Professor," Seamus said with a grin.

"Yes, Mr. Finnegan, I know. And thanks to your Valentine's card last year, I think all of Ilvermorny knows as well."

The class laughed at Seamus' expense, but he didn't seem phased by it at all.

"Alright, alright, that's enough of that." I moved around behind the desk to look at my notes. "Now, if I've deciphered these correctly, I see that you have just finished discussing grindylows. Is that correct Miss Granger?" I looked up at Hermione.

"Oh! Yes, Professor," she replied.

"Right, so now we move on to…"

Harry's hand shot in the air."

"…Hinkypunks? Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Actually, Professor, I was wondering if we could discuss something else."

"Oh? I suppose that depends. What did you have in mind?" I was both a little wary and curious. Harry didn't often speak up in class. That was a product more of how he was raised than his genetics.

"Can you tell us about the Patronus Charm?"

There was no concealing my surprise. "The Patronus? How…"

"That is what you used to fight off the Dementors at the Quidditch match, wasn't it? At least, that's what Hermione guessed it to be."

Hermione's cheeks turned slightly red as I looked her way.

"Miss Granger was correct in her analysis, but Harry, I'm afraid the Patronus Charm is very advanced magic, far beyond that of a third year. Now! Hinkypunks, who can tell me what they know about Hinkypunks?"

Hermione was the only one to raise her hand.

"Yes, Miss Granger."

"The Patronus you produced though, must have been very strong, Professor, to have chased away all those Dementors. Couldn't you just teach us the theory behind a Patronus? How does it work? How was it so effective?"

"Flattery, Miss Granger, was a very wise move, but I'm supposed to teach you about Hinkypunks."

"The Hinkypunks will still be there when Professor Lupin returns," Ron said.

"Please Professor; I don't want what happened at the match to happen again. Do you?" Harry asked.

"Of course not!"

"Then won't you tell us what you can? Perhaps if we understood a little better we could all be safer," Hermione said.

I looked around at the class. No one else was being vocal about it, but I could see by their expressions that they were all interested. I was fighting a losing battle, and I sighed.

"Theory only!" I said pointedly, closing the book on Hinkypunks. I began to make my way through the desks. "I will not teach you how to produce a Patronus. I will not tell you the incantation or show you the wand movement. And I do not, under any circumstance, want to hear that one of you has made an attempt to produce one. The results can be catastrophic if done incorrectly, and I, for one, do you wish to see any of you consumed by maggots for a failed attempt."

"Maggots?"

"Yes, Mr. Weasley. Maggots. Now swear to me, all of you, that you will not attempt to produce a Patronus, especially you Mr. Finnegan. You are far too good for my ego to lose you to maggots."

"I'd swear anythin' ter yer, Professor," Seamus replied.

I stopped walking at his desk. I made little popping noises with my mouth as I opened and closed it several times. I wasn't quite sure how to respond. Fortunately, Dean leaned towards Seamus and, with a grimace, said what I couldn't.

"That was a little much, Seamus."

"Wus it?" he asked

I nodded.

"Sorry."

I continued my trek through the aisles, and after receiving the solemn word of the rest of the class I proceeded with the Patronus lesson.

"To understand how a Patronus works, one must first understand what a Dementor does. There are many in the wizarding community that would argue that the Dementor is the foulest magical being to grace this earth. In fact, I may be one of the few to disagree.

"Now, I'm not about to be best mates with a Dementor by any means, but personally, I have always been less of a fan of the Boggart. The Boggart just appears out of nowhere and without warning.—Don't tell Professor Lupin I said that please, because then he'll go into a long, and winded, explanation about how a Boggart doesn't just 'appear' but is manifested by…yada-yada-yada."

The class laughed as I came back to stand at the front.

"The arrival of the Dementor, however, is always proceeded by a sudden drop in temperature and a feeling of hopelessness. That is because a Dementor, quite literally, sucks the happiness or 'warmth' out of any living thing. They thrive on despair, and misery, and even death. They are drawn to those who have experienced true horrors, even if that person cannot, themselves, remember the horror they suffered."

Many eyes turned towards Harry, but I tried to keep my focus on the class as a whole.

"A Dementor," I continued, "wishes to relieve that person of any happy memory they have so that they too are consumed by despair, and misery. For those who cannot produce a Patronus, it is no wonder why the Dementor is ranked so high on their feared list.

"The Patronus is the only known defense against a Dementor. It is the very embodiment of what a Dementor despises. It is warmth. It is happiness. It is Hope. But fundamentally, it is love."

"Is it also made of sugar, and spice, and all things nice?" Dean chortled and the class laughed along with him.

"You jest, Mr. Thomas, but I'd take that over snips, and snails, and puppy dog tails any day."

"Now…" I pushed on. "There are two forms a Patronus can take. The basic non-corporal shield Patronus will act as a shield—go figure—for the caster. The Dementor will attempt to feed off the shield and leave the caster untouched. A shield will not drive the Dementor away, though, and it will only protect the caster for as long as they can maintain it.

"The fully formed corporal Patronus, however, will chase the Dementor away. It is also much harder to produce. And that is saying something, because a shield Patronus is advanced enough already. Yes, Miss Granger?"

"What form does the corporal Patronus usually take? Yours appeared to be some sort of animal."

"Excellent question, Miss Granger, unfortunately that question cannot be answered definitively as there is no 'usual' form. The Patronus is unique to the caster. It is an animalistic representation of the caster's innermost personality. The Patronus is so unique to the caster that their closest friends would know it even if they have never seen it before."

"So it's similar in that respect to the Animagus." Hermione said.

"Yes, I suppose they are similar in that manner. Both, in a sense, show the animal that is within and both are distinctly unique to the witch or wizard responsible for them. Now, that being said, two witches may both produce a cat Patronus, but they will have different markings and their personalities will be very different."

"Can someone be both an Animagus an' produce a Patronus? An' if so, 'ill it be de same animal?" Seamus asked.

"Yes and…yes? More than likely," I replied. "It's difficult to say as the pool of wizards who can do both is so small. For the few I've met, though, it is true. Take Professor McGonagall for example. Her Animagus form is that of a tabby cat with markings around the eyes; her Patronus is the same. But since both forms of magic are highly advanced, having a wizard who is an Animagus and who can also produce a Patronus would be akin to catching the Snitch in the dark, while it's raining, with an eye patch, and with one arm tied behind the back."

I looked to Harry who was smiling at my reference.

"Does that sound about right? Maybe? I don't know because I've never been able to play Quidditch; I can't even stay on a broom properly."

Harry laughed. "It would certainly be difficult, but…not impossible."

"Well then we could tie both arms behind the back so that the Snitch had to be caught by mouth."

The class laughed at Harry's expense. I was, of course, referring to his first Quidditch match two years ago when he caught the Snitch by mouth.

"That's really funny, Professor," Harry said. He tried to sound irritated, but I could tell he was amused.

"Thanks." I smiled and placed a hand on my chest. "I try."

Neville timidly raised his hand while the class went on laughing.

"Yes, Mr. Longbottom?"

"C-can…could w-we see your P-Patronus?"

"Why, Mr. Longbottom…" I grinned and pulled out my wand. "I thought you'd never ask."

In an instant my Patronus was out and jumping around the room. Her tail swished as she darted between the desks after a silver ball. The class erupted with laughter, including my own.

"She's playful today. Go on, you can pet her," I said as Parvati and Lavender reached out their hands as though they wanted to.

At the request of attention, my Patronus stopped chasing the ball and allowed the girls to dote upon her. She affectionately nudged their legs in return. She moved on to other tables as the other students showed interest in doting on her. She was really enjoying all the attention.

I allowed her to soak up their affection for a while before whistling and calling her back to me. She dutifully came and leapt onto the desk to sit at my side.

"Now," I said, having gained the classes attention once more. "It is important to note that it is not the size of the Patronus that matters. The most powerful Patronus ever recorded belonged to the orphan Illyius centuries ago.

"His village was being attacked by the Dark Wizard Raczidian and his army of Dementors. We're talking numbers far greater than the few we saw at the Quidditch match a few weeks ago. The village elders had all produced their Patronus' but they could not ward off the army. Then along came Illyius. Care to guess what his Patronus was?"

"A horse!" Dean called out.

"I said size doesn't matter, Mr. Thomas." Then I held up my thumb and forefinger about three inches apart. "It was a mouse. Not a rat, a mouse. But such was the power and the emotion behind it that it brought the Dementors to a standstill and released the village of their hold. Now this infuriated Raczidian, and so he attempted to cast a Patronus to ward of Illyus'. However, Raczidian was shown to be unworthy as he was not of a pure heart, and he was devoured by maggots."

"Maggots?"

"Yes, Mr. Weasley. Maggots. I kid you not. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. I'm really not that creative."

"Er—Professor Porter…"

"Yes, Miss Patil?"

"Your Patronus… what is it doing?" She, along with the rest of the class, had their eyes on my Patronus. And they all looked confused.

I turned around to look and saw the problem at once. And even I was confused as to what was going on. She was still sitting where I had left her at the desk as I often liked to roam while talking. But she was flickering or flashing like a television with a bad reception. Not all of her would change at once, only bits and pieces. Her long tail switched out for a shorter, fluffier tail before quickly flashing back. Her ears became larger and had a point to them before turning round once more. Her spots faded in and out. And her snout, at times, almost appeared more canine in nature.

I had never witnessed such behavior from her before, and it greatly concerned me. Leo and I had been through so much over the years. She had been my constant and faithful companion on those cold, lonely nights I used to suffer. I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. I quickly released the charm; her silver light faded away, and I made a note to visit Dumbledore the first chance I could.

Suddenly the bell rang, signaling the end of class. It was immediately followed by chatter and the sound of scraping chairs. I turned back around to the class quickly and called out to them.

"Wait! For…for homework, please… read the chapter on Hinkypunks and answer the questions that follow. To be turned in on Friday."

There were several moans and groans of complaint.

"Sorry. You may succeed in distracting me from the intended lesson, but not from the intended homework." I smiled. "I will see you all tonight, for our Astronomy lesson. You are dismissed."

* * *

 **This was a rather light, fluffy chapter. I hope you enjoyed. What could the flickering of Katherine's Patronus mean, do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on the matter.**

 **All of the information concerning the Patronus, Illyius, and Raczidian came from Harry Potter Wikia and Pottermore. I (truly) did not make it up.**


	12. A Brilliant Infatuation

**A Brilliant Infatuation**

Remus hobbled into the Defense classroom on Friday after lunch using the cane his father gave him last Christmas. Truth be told, he hated the cane, but some days, like today, he didn't know what he'd do without it. Using the cane made him feel old, especially since his father still had no need for a cane himself. At only thirty-three, Remus thought he shouldn't feel so old. His monthly transformations, however, took their toll on the body. And in the cold, his body simply ached.

Remus wasn't in the room long before his next class started arriving. As a Professor, he knew she shouldn't show favoritism. But some things were hard to let go of, and one of those things was his desire to see Gryffindor best Slytherin in anything. So he loved his double periods, but his favorite was his next class: his third years. Although, the fourth years came in a close second; he couldn't quite say why.

Parvati and Lavender were the first to arrive, chirping away endlessly about the latest gossip. As long as the gossip didn't concern him and Katherine, he didn't much care for what it was.

"I'll take your homework questions, if you have them ladies," Remus said as they walked by his desk. He wasn't sure if they had heard him as they continued walking without so much as look his way. But then they returned and dropped off their papers.

A few silent Slytherins were next, followed by Dean and Seamus.

"Professor Lupin, you're back. Are you feeling better then?"

"I am. Thank you for asking, Dean."

"Bugger," said Seamus. Remus raised an eyebrow, and Dean elbowed his friend.

"Er—Sorry, Professor. That wasn' meant against you. 'S just…"

"He was hoping to see Professor Porter again," Dean finished for him.

"Ah. I see," Remus replied. "So I take it Wednesday's class went well?"

"Well? It was brilliant! She's brilliant!" Seamus said.

"I didn't realize you found Hinkypunks so interesting, Seamus."

"Oh. Er—actually, we-uh, we didn't talk about Hinkypunks," Dean said.

"You didn't?"

Remus, of course, knew that they didn't cover Hinkypunks on Wednesday but had discussed the Patrons Charm instead; Katherine had left thorough notes including a detention she had issued to a first year Ravenclaw.

"But it was Harry and Hermione's fault really," Dean said.

"What was my fault?" Harry asked walking in with Ron and Hermione.

"Oh…uh…"

"We were just discussing the impromptu Patronus lesson you apparently persuaded Professor Porter to give," Remus said with a knowing smile.

"Oh. Er—you're not made about that are you?" Harry asked.

"Why would I be? You still completed the same homework so you shouldn't be too behind."

At the mention of homework the trio of friends pulled out their assignments. As they turned to head towards their seats, Remus called Harry back.

"Were you still interested in those private lessons?" he asked softly.

Harry's eyes grew wide with excitement. "Yes, Sir."

"Alright then, but it will have to be after the New Year. I've fallen quite behind on my own work."

"Yeah, yeah, alright. We don't have another match until February, so that will be fine. Thanks."

"And, Harry, I think perhaps we should keep this between us for now. I am sure Professor Porter told you how dangerous the Patronus can be."

"You mean she was serious about the maggots?"

"Quite so. Does that change your mind?"

"No…no, Sir."

"I suspected as much. Very well then, I'll figure something out and let you know when we're ready to begin."

Harry nodded his thanks again and went to take his seat. Meanwhile, Remus straightened up and turned his attention to the whole class as the last students settled in.

"Now, Hinkypunks, what can you tell me about them? Anyone?" Remus sighed. "Yes, Hermione?"

Later that same day, Remus hobbled around the castle. He was moving a little faster because his joints weren't so stiff; perhaps tomorrow he could forgo the cane altogether. Remus thought he'd simply been wandering the castle aimlessly, but when he arrived at his destination he suddenly realized his subconscious had been leading him there all along.

He stood at the base of the Astronomy Tower, not far from the open door of the Astronomy classroom. The classroom was often used on rainy or cloudy nights when the stars weren't readily visible. He thought the classroom would surely be empty at this time of day (it wasn't quite 4:30 yet) so he thought nothing of it as he approached the open door.

Laughter rang out and halted him in his tracks. It was a hauntingly familiar laugh, and only one name came to mind. But how could it be? Remus quickly closed the distance between himself and the classroom. He peered through the open doorway and found Katherine with a group of students.

Of course it was Katherine; who else could it have been? His mind was simply playing tricks on him

As he watched Katherine with her students, Remus found himself frozen in the doorway. It was startling, this affect she had on him. He wasn't naive enough to not know what it was; he knew exactly what it was. It was an infatuation. It could hardly be helped. She was bright, obviously talented. She was passionate about her teaching, and she truly desired to see her students succeed. She was strong; all mothers were, but she was especially. And she was…what was the word Seamus had so eloquently used? Ah yes… She was brilliant.

Remus knew he didn't deserve such brilliance. Not after…

He turned to leave, seeing that she was holding class, but she called out to him.

"Professor Lupin!" She waved him in. "Come on in. We were just finishing up." She waved him over again, so Remus hobbled in.

He stayed in the back while they continued to talk. Katherine leaned against the front of the desk, her hands behind her on the desk, and her legs crossed at the ankle. Remus didn't know what she had against chairs; she never seemed to use them when she could help it.

Katherine and her students continued discussing their previous topic while Remus watched quietly. He watched as her eyes lit up as they delved deeper into their topic. He watched as she threw her head back and laughed lightly. He watched as she drew the corner of her lip in while deep in thought. And he watched as that thought exploded out of her, her excitement too great to contain as her hands joined in the fray.

Remus felt himself smile. It was a reaction that couldn't be helped. And that's precisely why he'd been doing his best to avoid her as of late. Katherine was indeed brilliant. Remus had his taste of brilliance once, but because of the wolf he'd lost it forever. He wouldn't risk destroying any more lives, despite whatever grief it may cause him.

It was for the best then that Katherine's brilliance was already claimed by another. Admittedly, it had stung when he first learned that she was soon to be betrothed. He supposed that was the first sign that he'd let things get farther than he desired. He'd only meant to strike up a nice friendship, but those friendly feelings had quickly evolved into something much more. Something, Remus knew, he wasn't deserving of.

And so Remus was quite surprised when he found himself outside the Astronomy classroom a few moments ago. And now that he had been drawn into her presence once more, he was powerless to escape.

"Any more questions?" Katherine asked. "No? Then that should do for today. I am very excited to see your presentations next term. I think you all have chosen fascinating focus points. If you have any questions, you know how to find me."

The students began to disperse and Katherine turned her attention to Remus. She crossed her arms over her chest in a protective stance. She was still smiling, but her eyes weren't as bright as they were before. Remus knew she was waiting for him to say something, and so he scrambled his brain for words.

"Uh—sorry to intrude…but…. If I had known you were having class, I would have come by later." She didn't need to know that it wasn't his intent to stop by. But when her eyes shone a little brighter he was suddenly very glad that he had.

"Don't worry about it. It's less of a class and more of a Q.N.A. slash Social Hour," she said with a wave of her hand.

"I suppose it would be a little hard to have Astronomy this early."

She laughed. "Four o'clock isn't usually the best time to view the stars. Those were my seventh years," she explained. "They each pick a focus point and then give a presentation between March and April to the younger years. For star time, I have one or two of them in each of my other classes. So they also serve as T.A.s. This hour is really just a time that is explicitly dedicated to them should they have any questions for me concerning their projects."

She paused for a moment and pulled the corner of her mouth in again.

Then she said, "Step with me next door?"

The reply was out of Remus' mouth before he had a chance to properly consider it. "Okay."

Katherine pushed herself off the desk before turning around and grabbing a few papers. Remus followed her to a little side door and they stepped into her office. Remus had never been in her office before and he had to do a double take when he entered. There was no ceiling, or so it appeared at least. It was charmed, and dotted with numerous dots he took to be distant stars. Katherine noticed his shocked expression and followed his gaze.

"Oh, that… I'm a touch claustrophobic. I don't like confined spaces or feeling caged. The charm tricks my mind into thinking the room is much larger than it really is. I have the same charm in my bedroom, both here and at home."

"But does it really work if your mind knows it's a trick?"

"You'd think not, but it's funny the things we can make the mind believe." She placed the stack of papers on her desk and turned on some lights. The glow of the stars diminished, but they were still there.

"So," she said, turning back to Remus. "What brings you my way? Oh Merlin! Jonathan hasn't been acting up, has he?"

Remus chuckled. "No, he hasn't, but I'm afraid it's worse. He's been rather saint-like as of late."

"Bugger! That means he's planning something big with the twins. Thanks for the heads up. Do…do you think we should warn Filch?"

"I don't really see why," Remus said, a sly grin forming on his lips. "After all, we don't know with absolute certainty that Jonathan hasn't simply decided to turn his act around. Why bother Filch with something that may not even happen? The poor guy has enough on his plate as is."

Katherine grinned, and in that moment Remus could see a clear spark of mischief that was so often in Jonathan's eyes.

"Oh, I love a good logical reason not to intervene. I think you're right. Filch does have an awful lot to manage as is. Maybe Jonathan has straightened up…albeit spontaneously."

Katherine leaned against her desk, while Remus propped himself on the arm on a chair.

"It wasn't so spontaneous," he said. "I happened to have a nice chat with him."

Katherine snorted. Remus' eyebrows rose.

"Sorry," she apologized. "But something tells me that any chat you gave him about managing his mischief only egged him on."

"It just so happens that I was a rule-abiding student in my day." Remus tried to keep a straight face to prove his point.

"Bollocks," Katherine said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me, or shall I repeat it? Boll-ock-sss! I don't buy that for one second."

Remus laughed heartily. "And why is that?"

"You don't carry the look of innocence, Mr. Lupin."

"You don't look so innocent yourself sometimes."

"Yes, but _I_ never claimed I was." She smiled cheekily, and Remus knew he was done for. There would be no avoiding her after this. He was too far gone.

Katherine's smile softened. "Have dinner with me?"

Remus was stunned. Inside he was screaming 'yes,' but he was fighting it forcefully. He knew he shouldn't give in. He knew he needed to resist. He tried to say he couldn't, but the words wouldn't come out.

"I…uh…we…uhmm.."

"I meant in the Great Hall," Katherine explained. "They're serving dinner now and I'm hungry. Professor Vector is nice and all, but it's just not the same without you."

 _Of course she meant the Great Hall, your big lummox!_ Remus thought. Why would she have meant anything else?

"Relax, Remus, It's not like I was asking you on a date," Katherine said lightly as she walked by Remus towards the door.

"Right, of course not." Remus pushed himself off the chair and followed behind her. "I'm sure your fiancé wouldn't be appreciative of that."

Katherine stopped suddenly causing Remus to bump into her, the faint scent of Moonflower hitting his nose. His senses tingled with familiarity; _she_ had smelled of Moonflower as well.

"What did you just say?" Katherine asked, turning around slowly.

"Your…fiancé… or your…soon to be…if…Merlin! I hope I didn't just ruin a surprise."

"What are you on about? Just who do you think I'm marrying?"

"The Weasley boy, what was his name… Bill?"

"Bill?!"

Suddenly, Katherine started laughing. She leaned against the door frame for support. She placed a hand to her chest as she gasped for air. Her face turned red, and her eyes watered with tears.

Remus was highly confused.

"I… I'm… I'm sorry… Merlin's Beard Molly! What… have you done? Oh!... Whew…" Katherine wiped at her eyes as she finally began to regain some control over her laughter. One look at the bewilderment on Remus' face, though, nearly set her off again and she had to cover her mouth with her hand.

"So…you're… not engaged?" Remus asked.

Katherine shook her head no.

"Do you think he'll propose for Christmas?"

"Merlin! I hope not! I haven't even met the boy, Remus."

"You haven't met…"

"No," she said with another shake of her head before laughing some more. "Molly has somehow got it in her head that her eldest son and I would be good together. But he's been in Egypt ever since I met them, so we haven't had the chance to meet. I really don't think it'd make a difference if we had, though. He's eleven years younger than me, and though I've dated a younger man before it was only by a few months."

Remus chuckled slightly. "Are you seeing anyone?" He didn't know why he was asking. It didn't matter either way. He still shouldn't let his feelings get involved.

"Not currently, no," Katherine said with a light smile before she gave into laughter once more. This time, Remus joined in.

He knew it had been a mistake to ask.

* * *

 ***I made a quick edit to chapter 9: A Memorable Match. Nothing big, but as one reader pointed out, if Katherine married Bill she would be Fred and George's sister-in-law not their Aunt. LOL. So the passage now has Katie Bell pointing out their mistake.**


	13. Hogsmeade

**Chapter 12**

 **Hogsmeade**

Things quickly went back to normal between me and Remus. It was as though we'd simply hit the 'pause' button and things resumed right where we left them.

I find it hysterical that he thought I was engaged to Bill. I asked him where he'd gotten that idea from and he said he'd overheard Fred and George talk about how I was their 'Soon-to-be-Aunt' while Harry was in hospital. I thought of sending an Owl to Molly to tell her. I knew she'd find it just as funny as I had, but then then she would want to know all about Remus and I didn't feel like trying to explain him to her.

I wasn't even sure how I would explain him. I didn't know what was going on between us, or how far things could go. Could I really allow myself to be with him again after everything that had happened between us the first time? Would I be okay that he was with Katherine and not Kate? It was all rather confusing.

Remus and I attended the next Quidditch match together. It was Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw obliterated Hufflepuff. This was very good news for Gryffindor because it meant they were still in the running for the Quidditch cup.

December flew by in a frosty blur. Before the professors realized it, the Christmas holiday was upon us. On Wednesday during the last week of class, I was out on the tower with my third year Gryffindor and Ravenclaws like normal when it started to snow.

"Keep working. We still have an hour left," I said, trying to keep everyone on task.

"But it's snowin', Professor."

"Very good, Mr. Finnegan. But I want those star charts in my hand—"

Seamus walked over and held out his half empty chart. I pushed it back towards him.

"—completed, before you leave tonight. Unless, you wish to receive a Dreadful?"

"You wouldn't, surely not to your favorite student."

"You're right."

He grinned.

"I'd give Ron an Acceptable."

"Oh that's cold, Professor."

"Oh? Cold like snow? Back to work, Mr. Finnegan." Seamus turned and headed back to his station next to Dean. Meanwhile, I saw a head of red hair approach me.

"Don't you dare try it, Ronald Weasley."

"It was worth a shot," he said as he turned and walked away.

I ended up dismissing the class thirty minutes later when the light flurries turned into a small blizzard. I was always the last to descend the tower, and when I reached the bottom and the crowd cleared out, I found Harry and Ron waiting for me near my office.

"Good evening boys, did you forget the way to Gryffindor tower?" I asked.

They parted and allowed me to pass into my office before Harry followed me in.

"Er—Professor Porter?"

I looked up. "Yes, Harry? You're not upset about the favorite student thing are you? Because I really only meant that as a joke."

"Oh, no. Not at all." He smiled genuinely.

"Oh! Good. Because I think we all know who my favorite would be _if_ I admitted to having one. So, what can I do for you, Harry?"

"Well, I… I was wondering… This weekend is another Hogsmeade weekend, and I… Would you sign my permission form, please? I tried to get Vernon to sign it before I left, but then…well, then I left before he did."

My heart was aching, and I had to physically restrain myself to keep from reaching for the form and signing it. So I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Harry…"

"I thought that since you used to…er—well… that I stayed at your house a few times, that maybe you could give me permission."

"Harry, I…I would really…if I could. But, Harry, that form is only for a guardian to sign."

"Yes, but I thought that since you…"

"I kept you a few times when your…when Petunia thought she had no other option, but when is the last time you needed a baby-sitter, Harry?"

"I…" Harry's disappointment was written all over his face; his hand slowly dropped to his side.

I moved to the front of my desk and sat with one leg still on the ground. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder. It was killing me to deny him, to see him in such pain and to know that I was the cause of it.

"I'm sorry, Harry. Really, I…I wish I could get away with signing it. Really, I do. I happen to have it on good…suspicion…that Mr. Thomas has a particular talent for signing other people's name. So, perhaps Vernon did manage to sign your form before you left?"

I could hardly believe what I was saying. Was I really suggesting that Harry forge his Uncle's signature? I was a professor!

Harry slowly shook his head. "I…I already told Professor McGonagall that he didn't. She would know it wasn't legit."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Harry. I wish there was something I could do to help."

"There is something you can do, Miss Porter; you're just choosing not to."

"Harry!"

He turned and stalked out without looking back.

 **XXX**

The whole of the next day, Harry remained distant and cold. If I greeted him in the corridor he pretended not to hear. If he was forced to acknowledge me, he kept his response short. It was much the same on Friday, and after a run-in at lunch, Remus noticed.

"What was that all about?" Remus asked as Harry stalked away once more.

"He's angry with me because I wouldn't sign his Hogsmeade form," I replied sullenly.

"But you're not his guardian."

Katherine's not, but Kate is.

"No…I'm not. But he and Jonathan grew up together, and he thought that since I was asked to watch him a few times then…but Dumbledore won't accept the signature of Katherine Porter."

Unbeknownst to Harry, I went to Dumbledore and asked to sign the form after he visited me. Dumbledore said that he would be glad to accept permission from Harry's legal Aunt, but that Katherine Porter was not it. I'd stalked away from Dumbledore's office in much the same way that Harry had stalked away from mine.

"I'm sorry, Katherine," Remus said. "I'm sure he'll get over it before long. Until then, I don't think there's much you can do."

As I looked over Remus' shoulder, my eyes caught sight of twin heads. An idea suddenly struck me. Perhaps there was something I could do to help.

"Excuse me, Remus, but I…I just recalled that I needed to speak to the Weasley twins about an assignment. I'll catch up with you later."

"Sure. Are we still on for tomorrow?"

I smiled as a warm feeling filled me. We were going down to Hogsmeade together. "Yes."

As I approached the Weasley twins where they were whispering quickly with Lee and Jonathan, they suddenly stopped and all four of them gave me their best innocent grin.

"Good afternoon, Professor. You're looking ravishing today," Lee said.

"Dude! That's my Mum!"

"You cannot fight the genetics, Johnny boy. Where do you think you got your looks from?"

"He's right, Jonathan. And I can at least take half of the credit for your good looks; your father was quite the looker too."

"Mum!" Jonathan's cheeks turned a bright red while the other three laughed heartily.

"Right, sorry. I would like to have a word…" I turned towards the twins. "…with you two."

"Us? What have we done—"

"—in the last fifteen minutes?"

"Well there was that one thing."

"Oh! Yes, but she can't know about that—"

"—not yet, at least."

They both looked at me with wide grins again. I admit I was baffled by what they were talking about, but not overly concerned.

"Will it cause any physical harm to person, place, or thing?" I asked.

"Physical harm? Hmm… George?"

"No, I think we left the physical harm out of it this time, Fred."

"Good," I said. "Then I think it's best to keep me in the dark for now, plausible deniability and all that. Besides, I'm sure we'll all find out soon enough."

"Jonathan, have we ever mentioned—"

"—how much we love your Mum?"

"That's it! I'm leaving this love fest," Jonathan said before walking away.

"That's nice boys," I said. "But I'd still like that word. My office please."

"After you, Madam." They both bowed and held out their arms.

"I don't think so. The corridor is wide enough for all three of us."

We kept a small, meaningless conversation going between us as we made the short trek to my office. Meanwhile, I wracked my brain for a way to get them to help me help Harry because it had to be indirectly. If word ever got out that I (as a Professor) had assisted a student in sneaking out of the castle, I could be in serious trouble.

Two years ago I had come across the Weasleys amidst one of their nights of plotting and caught sight of a familiar piece of blank parchment. It was the map of course. Perhaps a more sensible Professor would have confiscated it on the spot, had they known what it was. I, however, knew James and Sirius would be thrilled that a new generation of mischief makers were putting the map to good use. So I knew the twins knew how to sneak out of the castle, and I knew that for a good reason, they would help Harry sneak out. But, like I said, I couldn't out right say it.

In my office, I took up my usual stance of leaning against my desk. I don't really know why I preferred to sit on a desk rather than a chair; I never did in school. Of course, in school I had to wear the required uniform skirt that always showed the scar on my knee.

"Is this going to take long, Professor?"

"Not that we don't value the time we spend with you."

"It's just we have—"

"—work to do."

"I'm sure you do," I said. "But, no, I don't suspect this will take long. I was merely curious if you two have decided on whether or not one, or both, of you plan to continue Astronomy at the N.W.E.T. level next year."

They looked at each other, and they both looked a little confused. Clearly, that was not what they thought I was going to say.

"Honestly, Professor—"

"—we haven't given much thought—"

"—to any of the subjects we wish to continue."

"It's only December."

"And you both know that March will be here before you know it and Professor McGonagall will be asking this very same question. I just thought I'd ask it first because…well, so I can be adequately prepared either way for your answer."

They grinned. "Don't worry, Professor—"

"—if and when we decide—"

"—you'll be the first person we tell."

"Very well then, that is all," I said. As they turned to leave I let out a great sigh. They paused and turned back around.

"Well, if you're going to miss us that much—"

"—we'd be glad to make your day brighter."

"What?" I asked, pretending not to know what they were talking about. They both gave me a look that reminded me of their mother.

"Oh? Did I just do that out loud? I thought it was a mental sigh. Sorry, I didn't mean… As…entertaining as class with you usually is, that is not what that was about. I assure you; take all the time you need to decide."

"So, if it wasn't about us—"

"—then what was it about?"

"Nothing… it's just...Harry. He's gutted that he can't go to Hogsmeade. And it's bringing me down too; I hate to see him like this. It's a shame, you know. Hogsmeade is such a magical place; everyone should get to experience it. But Harry…You know how dreadful his Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon are, don't you?"

"Dreadful?"

"They're right foul gits, they are."

"They had bars on his window last year."

"Right! And if you lot hadn't shown up in a flying Ford Angelina and broke him out when you did, then I was going to march over and do it myself. Well this year, they didn't sign his Hogsmeade form. The bloody swine! I wish there was something we could do to help."

"Well… we don't have a flying Ford—"

"—but we do have a flying Angelina."

I laughed. "I'm not really sure that Miss Johnson is up for rule breaking to that extreme. No, flying wouldn't work anyway. We'd need a secret tunnel, one that leads right into Hogsmeade. I don't suppose you have one of those lying around anywhere?"

They kept on grinning, but they did not look at each other. And that spoke for them.

"Sorry, Professor—"

"—we're fresh out of tunnels today."

"Pity," I said before sighing. "Ah, well, sorry to burden you with my woes, but I think I needed the laugh. Class will be starting soon, you best be off."

"Always pleased to help, Professor."

They waved goodbye and began to leave. As they turned towards one another, I caught 'the look.' I smiled. The seed had been planted.

 **XXX**

Hogsmeade was insane. We had to wade through snow everywhere we went. The small village was packed with student and adult shoppers alike. Honeydukes was so crowded I couldn't make it through the door. Fortunately, Hermione and Ron came along and I passed my order and some galleons along to them. I knew Hermione, unlike Jonathan, wouldn't buy something for herself unless I told her to…which I did.

After Remus and I completed our shopping, we went to the Three Broomsticks. It was crowded there too, and the only table we could find was near the front door. We heard the jingle of the bell and felt the blast of cold air every time the door opened. We decided not to stay long, but just as we were about to leave, the door opened and Hermione, Ron, and Harry walked in.

Harry looked around the pub with eyes of wonder, before he caught me watching him. I smiled; he looked worried and turned to the others. I saw that Remus was about to turn around. I wasn't sure how he would react to finding Harry in Hogsmeade, so I had to act swiftly to distract him and keep his focus on me.

"Wait!" I threw my hand over his. His eyebrows rose, but his eyes stayed on me. From the corner of my eye I could see Harry move out of sight, further into the pub. I smiled again.

"What about one last toast before we leave?" I said. "Then we can head back and break into the eggnog."

"A toast?" He smirked and grabbed his mug of butterbeer. "What shall we toast to?"

"Here's to…hoping all the wrapping comes out a least a little decent."

"The wrapping?" He lowered his hand slightly.

"You've never witnessed me trying to wrap before. I can line up and cut the paper just fine, that's methodical. Adding the tape though, gets a little sticky, and when it comes to the ribbon I have all the dexterity of a cat with a ball of yarn."

"You realize you're a witch, right? And there's this little thing called 'magic?'"

"You realize you're a smartarse right?"

"It's in the breeding."

I laughed loudly, and had I been drinking at the moment I would have choked on it.

Remus grinned and held up his mug again. "To cat dexterity…"

"…And to smartarse breeding."

We clinked our mugs together and downed what was left inside them.

 **XXX**

"Hey, isn't that your Mum, Johnny Boy?" Lee said, hitting Jonathan's arm lightly.

"Don't call me that."

"Yeah, he much prefers 'Silvereyes,'" Fred said.

"You know, I think I'm going to start calling you Thing One and Thing Two," Jonathan said with a smirk.

"Wait, which of us is One and which is Two?"

"Well obviously I'm One; I'm older."

"Yeah, but I'm better looking."

"You're identical; you look the same," Lee argued.

Jonathan ignored the antics of his friends as he focused on his Mum. She had just left the Three Broomsticks with Professor Lupin, and she looked…happy. Really happy. She was laughing at something he had said. He looked rather happy as well. When she slipped slightly on a hidden patch of ice, Professor Lupin caught her by the elbow.

Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, and Hagrid accompanied by the Minister of Magic soon joined his Mum and Professor Lupin outside the pub. They seemed to talk for a bit; Professor Lupin's hand stayed on his mum's arm the whole time, before he and his Mum walked off. The others went into the pub. Jonathan continued to watch his Mum and Professor Lupin as they headed in the direction of the castle.

"Oi! Thing One, Thing Two!" Jonathan called.

"Yes, Silvereyes?" the twins replied.

"I think one of you will have to tell your Mum that Bill's too late." Jonathan nodded in the direction of his Mum and Professor Lupin. Fred and George watched for a bit before they each looked at the other.

"Well I'm not doing it!" they said at the same time. They began arguing who would break the news to their Mum before Lee called out.

"Isn't that your sister? What's she doing here?"

The twins looked to where he indicated.

"Oi! Ginny!"

They hurried off after their youngest sibling, tossing snowballs at the head of red hair that walked with her friends. But it wasn't Ginny. Jonathan laughed as the twins suddenly found themselves in the middle of a snow fight with a group of Hufflepuffs. He only waited a moment before heading over to help his friends out.


	14. Eggnog Confessions

**Chapter 13**

 **Eggnog Confessions**

I laughed out loud as I sat back to look at the final product. Remus and I were in the staff room, after our return from Hogsmeade, attempting to wrap the gifts we bought. Scraps of paper and ribbon were strewn everywhere, including, somehow, stuck in my hair as I pulled a piece of red ribbon out. On the table before us there was a half empty bottle of eggnog and a box of assorted chocolates from Honeydukes. (The last of my supply until Hermione returned with my order.)

"Wow…you really are terrible at that," Remus said with a chuckle.

"See! I told you! I don't fool around when it comes to wrapping. I haven't done that without magic since…well, let's see… I suppose it had to be second year when Mum told me the spell to use."

"And with good reason. That, Katherine," he pointed to the horrifically wrapped gift, "is complete…" He bit his lip.

"Shite? You can say the word, Remus. It won't offend me…"

"Shite."

"…too terribly."

His eyes widened as he looked my way. I laughed.

"I'm joking! How can I be offended when I said it first?"

I waved my wand and quickly fixed the abysmal wrapping job. Another wave cleaned up my mess and sent the packages into storage for a week before they were delivered.

"More eggnog?" I asked Remus as I filled my own cup.

"Do you think perhaps we've had enough?"

"Not if I'm trying to get you knackered." I refilled his glass anyway and handed it to him. He didn't take it.

"I'm joking, Remus."

He smiled and took the glass.

"Maybe."

"You see, that's the thing…I'm not so sure you are," he said, but he took a sip anyways. I smiled and held up the chocolates.

"Chocolate?"

"Now that I won't refuse."

I popped a nice chocolate peanut into my mouth before setting the box back on the table. I turned sideways on the couch as I pulled my legs up underneath me. Leaning one arm on the back of the couch, I propped my head up with it and studied the side of Remus' face. With the full moon only four days away, he was paler than usual which made the scars stand out a little more.

There was one in particular that I studied. It ran from the top of his ear down along his jaw line. It was a new scar, well new in the last fourteen years at least. I began to wonder how he had received it or if there would have been anything I could have done to prevent it.

Without realizing it, I reached up to trace it with my finger. The touch made him jump slightly, and he looked at me curiously.

"Sorry, I was just…" _Admiring_. I reached for the chocolate box and offered him another. Fortunately for me, he bought the distraction.

"You really like your chocolate, don't you?"

"Yes, Sir. All of it too. I don't discriminate. Some people think different chocolates taste differently… Well, they do, obviously, but different isn't necessarily a bad thing. I like milk chocolate just as much as I like white chocolate, or dark chocolate. Then there's chocolate with crackle, chocolate covered peanuts, chocolate with a gooey caramel center…" I let out a sweet moan as I bit into a caramel center. "The only chocolate I don't seem to like is chocolate mousse or chocolate ice-cream."

"Or a coconut cream, I imagine."

"Definitely not, unless you want to see my impression of the puffer fish. But trust me when I tell you, it's not pretty."

"Now I find that doubtful."

"You don't think I swell up like a puffer fish when I eat coconut?"

"No. I find it doubtful that you could ever appear less than…" Remus stopped suddenly as a flush consumed his cheeks.

"Less than what?" I asked. "You don't think I could be less then what?"

"Perfect," he said softly. Then he looked at me. "I don't think you could ever appear less than perfect."

That was not what I was expecting him to say. I don't know what it would have been, but I knew it wasn't that. The air was thick with the weight of his confession. I wasn't sure how to respond, so I tried deflecting it with humor.

"Maybe you have had too much eggnog."

He smiled faintly. "I tried to warn you."

I must have had too much eggnog too, because I suddenly took the conversation somewhere I thought I'd never go.

"It's a sweet sentiment, Remus, but I'm far from perfect." I changed positions so that I was leaning forward, my feet back on the floor, and my arms over my knees. "I have my scars the same as you. I just haven't let you see them. I haven't let anyone see them in a long time. How could I when I don't let anyone get close enough? I never have been much for the casual affair; it was always all or nothing for me. And I gave it all to…"

I looked at Remus and choked on my words. I realized I had almost said 'to you.'

"…to Jonathan's father," I finished and looked away as tears filled my eyes. "And I got treated like nothing in the end…or so it felt."

"I take it things didn't end well between the two of you?"

I looked at him again. How far could I go with this?"

"No. I… Jonathan wasn't a mistake, but he wasn't planned. He was the greatest deviation from a plan that I could have ever hoped for, though. But his father… His father made it quite clear that he didn't want children. So I took him out of the equation."

"How so?"

"I…ended things between us without telling him I was pregnant."

"I see," he said, his brows furrowing. Was he finally piecing it together? Had I said too much?

"I tried to tell him," I said quickly, unable to stop myself, "...several times. I wanted to, but every time I tried the words…just wouldn't come out. So I did what I felt I had to do. I still don't know if I made the right choice… Mind you, he never came for me. It's not like I disappeared; he knew where I was, or, at the very least, he knew how to find me.

"I told myself it was because he knew. On some subconscious level he knew I was pregnant, and so he never came for me because he…he didn't want the child. I told myself that Jonathan and I were better off without him. And I've been telling myself that ever since. I guess I hoped that one day I'd actually believe it."

I swiped at my eyes. Our cups of eggnog and the chocolate sat forgotten on the table before us. Remus reached over and placed his hand over mine.

"I'm sure if he knew, or if he'd have admitted it to himself, he would have come for you. He's an idiot for letting you and Jonathan slip through his fingers. You're…brilliant, Katherine, and Jonathan is a great kid…or a young man I suppose."

I gave a teary laugh. "Yeah, he hasn't really been classified as a 'kid' for a few years now. Though, he'll always be my baby boy."

I leaned back on the couch again. Remus' hand moved with mine as though they were connected.

"I'm sorry, I…I'm not entirely sure where that came from, or what made me bold enough to say it."

"No need to apologize. It was clearly something that needed to be said. I'm just not sure that I'm the best person to confide in."

I wanted to tell him he was wrong. I wanted to tell him he was the only one I wanted to confide in. I even went as far as to open my mouth to say as much, but he began speaking again before I could form the words to say.

"I'm not a good person in general, and…it's not just because of the lycanthropy."

His hand slid into mine a little more. I could see he was having a hard time sharing his thoughts, and he needed the encouragement. My fingers shifted slightly and his fell perfectly in the spaces mine left. Our fingers entwining was so natural that neither of us questioned it.

"I did things, Katherine, during the war that I'm not proud of. I… I hurt those I was closest to. On Halloween, you accused me of turning on my friends, and I became angry with you."

"Remus, I…I shouldn't have said that. I was worked up from the events of the night, and I…I'm sorry."

"I was angry with you because it was true," he confessed.

"I don't think…"

"Sirius and I were friends," he cut me off, "along with James, Harry's father, and Peter Pettigrew. And..." his voice trialed off as though he was debating on another name. In the end he chose not to say it. "The four of us were the best of friends. We…we were like a family. I didn't think anything could change that until one day something did. Until _**I**_ did.

"I…hurt them…terribly. I caused them unimaginable pain, and I knew they would never forgive me for it. I couldn't forgive myself, so how could they?"

I used my free hand to wipe away my tears while he continued on.

"So I left them…I…abandoned them before the war was over. I stopped talking to them and they stopped talking to me. I don't want to believe that Sirius was always a follower of Voldemort. I don't think he was bright enough as a first year to fool the Sorting Hat."

I laughed at the raw honesty, and Remus chuckled slightly.

"But perhaps he changed after I left, or maybe he was compromised beforehand but…I can't help but wonder, if I had been there… If I hadn't left…"

"Don't!" I said firmly. My voice cracked on my next words. "Remus you can't blame yourself for what happened. You can't. James ad Sirius were like brothers…only a...s-sister could have persuaded them otherwise."

Remus closed his eyes and squeezed my hand. I choked back tears.

"You…you said they couldn't forgive you, but what…what if they could? Remus, what…what if they _did_ forgive you? … Could you forgive them?"

What I was really asking, what I really needed to know was 'could he forgive _me_?' Before I could get the words out though, I began crying. Remus wrapped his free arm around me and pulled me to him. I clutched his shirt with one hand while still holding his hand with the other.

I needed him to forgive me for everything. For keeping him in the dark. For making him choose. For not telling him now. I needed his forgiveness, but how could I expect him to forgive me when he still didn't know?

So that was it then. I had to tell him. There was no way around it. I forced myself to calm down. I had to collect myself enough to speak rationally. When at last I felt I could, I pulled out of his embrace. But my confession froze on my lips when I saw how close we were.

He had laid his head over mine, so when I pulled back he was right there. I looked up into his eyes and held my breath as he looked down at mine. That old, familiar feeling was raging wild inside me. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted _him_ to kiss me, and it would have been so easy to do it. We were only inches apart, our noses practically touching.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I thought that this whole scene was rather familiar. I was taken back to a day in Hogsmeade when we were only sixteen. We had been sitting in the tea shop much like we were sitting now, only moments away from sharing a kiss. And just like that day seventeen years ago, a clap of thunder separated us.

This time, however, the clap of thunder came in the form of someone entering the staff room. Remus and I jumped apart at the sudden entrance. My hand immediately felt cold at the sudden loss of his. It wasn't just anyone who happened upon us either.

"Fraternization on the grounds is strictly prohibited…Lupin. I am sure the Headmaster informed you of this? And as for you…Miss Porter…"

"Oh piss off, Snape. I've had enough of your bloody superiority. You don't get to bully me like you bully my son," I said. "And you know that rule only applies while school is in session. Today was the official start of holiday."

I had hoped Snape would take the hint and leave. Even if he did, though, I knew the moment Remus and I had was gone and we couldn't get it back. In the end, it wasn't Snape that left; it was Remus. He made a brief and somewhat lame excuse, and fled quickly. Still, Snape saw the need to stay. He couldn't leave well enough alone.

"I thought you, of all people, would have learned from your mistakes the first time they happened."

"It wasn't a mistake!" I said. I remained sitting on the couch with my back to him, and my arms folded over my chest.

"And is that why you still haven't told him, because it _wasn't_ a mistake? You just wanted your loyal puppy back bowing at your feet?"

I stood up suddenly and turned to face him in a furry. Then I sighed in exhaustion. I was so tired of fighting.

"When are you going to give it up, Severus? We were only kids. Isn't it about time you grow up and let go of childish rivalries?"

"You're telling me to let go? You're the one who's still in hiding."

"I was referring to your apparent dislike for Remus. I know what you did. I know you assigned the classes you watched an essay on identifying and _killing_ a werewolf. Really, Severus, was that really necessary? What do you have against him?"

"Have you so easily forgotten how he nearly killed me?"

"How he…what? Are you referring to the Shrieking Shack incident in sixth year? Because you know he had nothing to do with that, right? It was all Sirius, and you blindly fell right into his trap. You know we were both furious with him for that stunt. I didn't speak to Sirius for two weeks because of it."

"Yes and two weeks of you giving him the silent treatment was punishment enough."

"For us, yes! We were family; he was my brother!"

"He was a traitor!" he spat taking a step towards the couch menacingly. "He should have been killed the moment he was caught. He betrayed Lily."

"No! You did that!" I shot back, moving around the couch. "You betrayed Lily the day you called her a Mudblood. She defended you countless times before James. That's why he hated you; he thought you were his rival for her affections. So he did everything he could to make you look bad. He wanted her to see your true nature, and you played right into his hand, didn't you? You gave him everything he wanted. You notice how he didn't prank you nearly as much after fifth year. He turned his focus to making her like him. That's because he realized that there was nothing he could do to make her dislike you. You did that all on your own."

Snape stepped towards me and we stood closer than I ever wanted to.

"And how is your dear brother now?" he asked lowly. "Dead, isn't he? He got what he deserved, and your little puppy soon will too."

"Why you…"

"Severus!"

Remus interrupted me as he came back into the room. I slowly removed my fingers from where they had grasped my wand. I took deep, steadying breaths. Remus moved in and stood next to me.

"That type of behavior is highly unbecoming of a Professor. I am sure the Headmaster informed you of this."

Snape did not take his eyes away from mine. "Lupin, well I am glad you decided to rejoin us. There is something you need to know about Miss… _Porter_."

My eyes slowly widened. He wouldn't. Surely, he wouldn't. Remus couldn't find out like this! Not from the mouth of Snape.

Snape sneered, knowing he had the upper hand. "She's like a cat with nine lives. Only, how many lives do you have left now? You've used up quite a few of them haven't you?"

I couldn't stop myself. When I was attacked, I fought back. "Beware, Severus," I threatened. "Cats have claws, and we're not afraid to use them."

I could feel my eyes shift and my vision changed briefly to that of a great cat's. There was the tinniest flicker of something akin to fear in Snape's eyes before he turned with a swish of his cloak and stormed out. Remus and I were left alone in silence. I jumped slightly when his hand brushed against mine.

"Sorry," he murmured softly. He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Severus has never liked me very much, and now I fear he has taken it out on you."

"Snape isn't much of a fan of mine either," I replied just as softly. I slowly brought my eyes up to look at him. How much had he heard?

"You came back?"

"I…I forgot my things from Hogsmeade." He pointed to his bags.

"I would have brought them to you."

"Yes…but then I wouldn't have been able to play hero."

I smiled slightly and turned my body towards his. He was showing no signs of having heard anything more than the bit about my dead brother.

"Are you alright?" he asked, rubbing this thumb under one of my eyes to catch a stray tear.

I nodded. "Yes, except now I have the makings of a post eggnog headache."

"Well, you know the best way to get rid of that don't you?"

"More eggnog?"

He chuckled. "Actual food. They'll be serving dinner soon. What do you say we go help ourselves to some steak and kidney pie?"

"Oh, Remus, you sure know how to charm a girl: get her drunk, and fill her up."

His cheeks flushed. "As I recall, you were the one who kept our glasses full."

I smiled as I grabbed the rest of our things and cleaned up our mess. Then we headed off to the Great Hall. We couldn't get the moment we had back, the moment Snape had ruined, but perhaps there was a chance for more moments.

* * *

 **Whew...A lot of tension is this chapter, sexual, emotional, anger...but it's only just beginning. How much longer can Katherine keep Kate a secret? Or how long before Snape does it for her? We all** _know_ **he's the one who told everyone that Remus was a werewolf at the end of the school year.**

 **Christmas is next and it will be 2 chapters in length. (A LOT happens over Christmas holiday!)**

 **Sorry for the late update, but I actually had to work yesterday (bummer). But then I came home to a wonderfully prepared meal by the hubby. Next update probably won't be until Friday however; I'm falling behind on my writing. Let me know what you think! I love hearing from all of you! Thanks to everyone who's left a review and added this story to their favorites/alerts!**


	15. Christmas Dinner

**Sorry for the delay. Had computer problems this morning...hope they don't last. Here's part one of Christmas Day.**

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

 **Christmas Dinner**

My revenge on Snape came swiftly. And thanks to an eager, and bored now that the castle was mostly empty, Poltergeist, Snape had no proof that I had anything to do with it. Of course he suspected, and he was right, but… He had no proof.

Christmas morning dawned with a blanket of snow. The fire blazing in my private chambers kept me nice and warm though. I opened the few gifts that had been sent, including a new knitted jumper from Molly and a stick of licorice from Dumbledore. He hadn't sent me licorice for some time, and I could only guess at what he was hinting at.

Around 10:30 I dressed and headed to the Great Hall for our Christmas luncheon, really it was more of a brunch. Since there were so few of us staying this year, the four house tables had been pushed aside and replaced with a single table for students and Professors alike. Dumbledore greeted everyone with a cracker. Jonathan gave me a merry hug. Perhaps the best greeting though, was Harry's.

"Happy Christmas, Miss Porter," he said with a big smile.

"Happy Christmas, Harry. Did you enjoy all of your presents?"

"Oh, yes! Thank you," he replied cheerfully.

"You're quite welcome. I hope you can put it to good use."

"Oh I plan to."

"I see Mum made you a jumper too," Ron said.

"Yes, and it's the warmest jumper I've ever had. Where's yours?"

"I—er-…"

Remus walked up then and Ron drug Harry into the hall. We greeted each other with a warm smile.

"I see Harry is speaking to you again."

"Yes, thankfully. He must really like the Quidditch playbook I got him. I thought he could share some of the moves with the team and perhaps win the cup."

"You know, we're not supposed to take sides."

"Yeah, well…Jonathan's a Gryffindor. What's your excuse?"

He grinned. "Touché." He held out his arm and allowed me to enter the Great Hall first.

Things between me and Remus were better than I could have ever imagined them. I'd lost my nerve to tell him, however. I still knew that I needed to, but it almost felt like I didn't. Apart from Wednesday when he spent the full moon locked in his chambers, we'd spent much of our holiday together. We didn't have any more moments like we'd had in the staff room, but we were slowly building to one.

Our conversations were deeper and we were more open with our affection towards one another. There was frequent hand-holding, a few brushes of a hand across a cheek, and even the occasional hand on the knee. I realize this all seems rather juvenile considering I have a son. But since Remus was both the first and the last guy I've ever been with (he was the only guy I've ever been with), these small affectionate displays were quite a big deal to me.

Before the luncheon could start, Professor Trelawney came down from her high tower to join us.

"Sybil! What a pleasant surprise," Dumbledore said as he stood to greet her.

'Pleasant' was a relative term. Trelawney and I weren't on the best of terms since I had told her off last year.

"I have been crystal gazing, Headmaster," she said in a high, misty voice she liked to use. "And to my own surprise I saw myself leaving my high tower and solitary luncheon to dine with you. So I came down at once; who am I to refuse the promptings of fate?"

I leaned in towards Remus to whisper, "I wish fate would have decided to spare us."

"What was that, Dearie?" Trelawney asked, her bug like eyes staring at me from across the table. Evidently, the chair Dumbledore had drawn up for her landed across from me. I could feel everyone watching me, and I sensed Jonathan trying to hold in his laughter. I smiled politely.

"I said, 'we saved you a plate.'" I held an empty plate out for her.

"Ah, yes, yes. Thank you." She took the plate and thought nothing else of it. I cast a warning glare to Jonathan down the way and caught a glimpse of McGonagall's amused grin. She and I had very similar feelings when it came to the art of Divination.

Breakfast carried on without incidence for some time. The atmosphere was warm and inviting, and, as always, the food was divine. Somewhere during all the merry festivities, Remus' hand found its way to my knee. I glanced at him and smiled when it happened; he smiled back, but didn't remove his hand.

 **XXX**

Remus and I casually strolled through the castle after lunch. We had no real destination in mind. We were simply walking along slowly, trying to burn off some of the food we'd consumed.

"What are you doing this evening?" I asked. I'd been toying with an idea all week long, and I finally decided to act on it.

"Nothing that I'm aware of. Why do you ask?"

"Well… Jonathan and I have this thing, this small tradition. Well, it's a tradition since first year at least… Anyways, we get together in my chambers for a small dinner and a gift exchange."

"That sounds nice."

"It is. Did…did you want to join us?"

"I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You wouldn't be intruding. You'd be our invited guest."

"And Jonathan is alright with this?"

"Yes. I mean, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"So you haven't asked him? Have you had any other guests before?"

"No…but you…you're different, Remus," I said softly as I looked up at him. "If it would make you more comfortable I can seek Jonathan out and ask him. But, like I said, I'm certain he won't mind the company."

We'd stopped walking and he turned to face me.

"Let me get this straight… You are inviting me to join you and your son for a family dinner on Christmas Day?"

I paused. We were both aware of the implications of such a request. But I knew what I wanted.

"…Yes. And I would really like it if you agreed to come."

He smiled fondly, and it gave me this warm, fuzzy feeling.

"Alright. It sounds like a lovely way to spend the evening with you… with you both…As long as it's alright with Jonathan."

"It will be." Even if I had to bribe Jonathan, which I was certain I wouldn't have to.

Remus and I stood there for a moment not saying a word. I'd just invited him to dinner in my chambers…and he'd accepted. He slowly tucked some hair behind my ear; his touch was electrifying and I knew he could feel it too. This wasn't the moment we'd been building to, was it? I didn't think we'd be so public about it, with the nearby Portraits watching.

"Katherine…" McGonagall suddenly called my name.

I looked up and down the corridor, but I didn't see the Deputy Headmistress anywhere. Then I saw an open door and realized we weren't far from her office. I walked over and poked my head in. McGonagall was there with Hermione. When she saw me and Remus she waved us in.

"You may come as well, Remus," she said.

I held up my hands. "I swear, Professor, we didn't do it." I smirked. McGonagall's lips twitched but she refused to smile. This was serious.

"That remains to be seen," she said severely. "Miss Granger, here, has just informed me that Harry Potter received a Firebolt for Christmas."

"Did he now? Well, Gryffindor is sure to win the cup this year."

"The thing is though, there was no note with the broom, so we do not know who sent it."

"It was sent anonymously? Well, I imagine that whoever sent it would want to remain anonymous."

"Indeed. Was it you?"

"Me?"

"Well…Harry and Ron think you sent it," Hermione said. "But…if it wasn't you, then I thought perhaps it might have been Black who sent it."

Of course! Sirius must have sent Harry the Firebolt. That must be what Harry was so pleased about when he thanked me for his gift. I wasn't surprised that Sirius would do something like this, but I was confused. How did he manage such a feat? He couldn't show his face anywhere.

"…I'll have no choice then but to confiscate it and strip if for hexes," McGonagall said. "Thank you, Miss Granger; I know this couldn't have been easy."

"He's my friend, Professor. I don't want anything to happen to him," Hermione said.

They were about to leave, and I owed it to Sirius to stop them.

"It was me!"

"Katherine?"

"Miss Porter?" Remus and McGonagall said at the same time.

"It was me," I reiterated. "I sent Harry the Firebolt."

"But there was no note," Hermione argued. "Why wouldn't you have sent a note with it?"

"Because it was meant to be anonymous. Do you know how expensive the Firebolts are? If Jonathan knew I spent that much on Harry, he'd want something of equal value. Imagine how many dungbombs and stinkpellts from Zonko's that would be. We'd all need gas masks to walk about the corridors. Besides, why would Sirius Black send Harry a broom?"

"Because he's…" Hermione looked nervous. "He's trying to kill Harry."

"So he bought the world's most expensive broom and hexed it? Really? If he's as brilliant as everyone makes him out to be, then Sirius Black would know that anything he sent Harry would be stripped and checked before it ever came close to Harry. If he was really smart, he'd have said the broom was from someone Harry trusted thereby ensuring that Harry received it. It doesn't matter one lick anyways, because I sent Harry the broom. And I didn't think everyone would jump on the Sirius Black bandwagon."

I turned my attention to McGonagall. "Minerva, I sent Harry the broom. Please, don't take it away from him."

McGonagall still seemed a little hesitant, but I didn't want to overdo it. I was already straddling a thin line. At last she resigned.

"Alright, I hear you. Next time, however, be sure to include a note of some sort."

"Of course, Professor."

Then a small smile formed on her lips. "A Firebolt! On Gryffindor! I can hardly wait to see the look on Severus' face when he hears about this."

I tried to smile too, but I'm not sure it came out right with my nerves on high as they were. I turned my attention, instead, to Remus. He was looking at me rather curiously.

 _Sirius, please don't skew this up!_

 **XXX**

I opened the door to my living chambers to find Jonathan and Remus standing outside with identical looks.

"Were you supposed to ask me something, Mum?" Jonathan asked expectantly.

"I'm…not…sure…" I replied slowly as I tried to figure out what he was talking about.

Jonathan looked sideways at Remus before looking beyond me to my lounge. It clicked rather suddenly.

"I think the light's been turned on," Remus teased.

"Jonathan, Dearie…"

"Yes, Mum?"

"Would you mind terribly if Professor Lupin joined us for Christmas Dinner?" I said with a smile.

"Actually, I would mind if _Professor_ Lupin joined us," Jonathan replied. My face fell. Then he grinned brightly. "However, if your friend Remus would like to join us, then I'm good with that."

"Smartarse," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"I blame the genetics."

"You have no idea," I said softly. I opened the door wider for them to enter.

"I thought you were going to ask him before hand," Remus whispered as he walked in.

"I was, but then I got distracted by the…"

"A Firebolt, Mum?"

"…by that."

"Where's my Firebolt?"

"You don't need a Firebolt, Jonathan."

"And why not?"

"Because you can't fly." I sighed in exasperation. "I hate to burst your bubble, Jonathan, but you will never be a world renowned Quidditch player. I'm sorry."

"And whose fault is that, do you suppose?"

"I blame the genetics."

"This chicken smells really good, Katherine," Remus said, diverting our attention away from the Firebolt.

"Thank you, Remus. I worked really hard on it."

I received another set of identical looks from Remus and Jonathan.

"What? I di…I…would have worked really hard on it, but you know, those House Elves in the kitchen won't let you do any work at all. The only thing I managed to convince them to let me do was pick out the size of the hen and the seasonings. It's rosemary with a touch of thyme."

"She's only arguing so hard to make it seem like she really tried," Jonathan said.

"That's not true."

He smiled. "Actually, she is a rather good cook," he told Remus. "She makes this great chicken noodle soup that always makes me feel better when I'm sick."

"And did you work hard on these cakes as well?" Remus asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Oh, now you're just spouting nonsense. No one does chocolate cakes better than the Hogwarts House Elves," I said.

We sat around the little round table that usually was no bigger than a single person writing table. I had enlarged it for the occasion as I usually did. Spread before us was a small hen, some roasted potatoes, and some courgette. To drink we had a nice cranberry cider. I thought it best to avoid the alcohol after what nearly happened last weekend with the eggnog.

I cut into the chicken and gave Jonathan and Remus a hearty portion. I gave myself a slightly smaller helping. I allowed them each to take a bite before I began.

"So, Jonathan, tell me the truth, how are classes going?"

"Really, Mum?"

"Yes, really. You knew I was going to ask."

"Do we have to do this now, though?"

"Better now than when we're exchanging gifts. Or, if you'd rather, I could always go speak with your Professors. I do know them, you know."

"I believe she'd actually do it," Remus said.

"I know she would," Jonathan replied. "Fine. Classes are fine."

I gave him a look that said I wanted more. He sighed.

"History of Magic is dull; I think it gets worse every year. But I think I'm doing well in it. I've made mostly O's, a few E's, and I think one A, nothing below that."

"Good." I nodded as I cut into a piece of chicken. "How is Transfiguration?"

"It's great! I think it may be my best subject."

"What about Potions?" Remus asked. "I always struggled with Potions."

"Ugh! It challenges History of Magic for worst class somedays. Snape doesn't like me very much, but I don't think he likes anyone very much. He seems to tolerate the Slytherins the most, though."

"And I don't think that's going to get any better next term," I muttered.

"You did have something to do with it!" Jonathan accused excitedly.

"I did no such thing," I insisted. Once more I received identical looks from the both them. "Okay, you two need to stop that."

The look persisted.

"I…may have spoken a few thoughts out loud and Peeves may have acted on them, but I cannot be blamed for what the Poltergeist did."

"Oh, Fred and George are going to be disappointed they missed this Christmas."

"How's Herbology?" I asked pointedly, trying to steer the conversation away from me.

Jonathan paled slightly. "It's…good."

"Jonathan…"

"It's difficult, alright. I'm not really sure why. But! I have a good solid A in it."

"An A won't take you to the NEWT level."

"Maybe I don't want to take the NEWT in it."

"I've heard Miss Bell is good at Herbology, maybe she'd be willing to help you?" Remus suggested.

"K-Katie Bell?" Jonathan's cheeks flushed slightly.

"Wait? What's this? Are you…"

"Stop! No! We are not talking about Katie. Ask me about classes, please. Divination is a joke. I should have listened to you last year," he said quickly.

He was clearly flustered. I'd never seen him this way before, and as much as I wanted to know more, I deiced to let it pass. For now. I'd find some other time to bring it up again.

"How about Ghoul Studies?" I asked.

Jonathan sighed with evident relief. "It's great! And really fascinating too. I seem to be a natural at it; at least, that's what Professor Venkman says."

"If you're so interested in Spirituous Apparitions, my father knows a thing or two about them. Perhaps I could arrange a meeting with him this summer. If it's all right with your mother," Remus offered.

"That would be really cool! Yeah. Please, Mum?"

They both turned to me. I could feel the blood leave my face as my heart sank. I desperately tried to hide it as I forced a smile.

"O-of course you may," I said, breathing heavily. Remus looked at me a little strangely, and Jonathan knew I was uneasy for some reason. So he tried to diffuse it, as he always did, with humor.

"You know, there is one thing about school this year that I think you should know about," he said. He didn't wait for us to ask what before he continued. "They hired this new Defense Professor, and, if you ask me, he's something of a sloth. He's always mucking around in lessons…when he's there. He bunks off about half of them."

I looked over at Remus. He was smiling, so I did too.

"He's a bit of a nutter, isn't he?" I teased. "I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking."

Remus was not one to sit idly by however. "He can't be nearly as bad as your Astronomy Professor, though. All she does is stare at little white dots and make abstract pictures from them. If that's not barmy, I don't know what is."

Jonathan grinned. "Oh no. He's way cooler than she is."


	16. A Christmas Charade

**Chapter 15**

 **A Christmas Charade**

I carefully unwrapped the small, square box that Jonathan had given me. We'd left the little round table for seats that had a little more cushion by the Christmas tree. It was really more of a sapling than a tree compared to the twelve that lined the Great Hall.

I pulled from the box an item that had the size, shape, and feel of a snow globe. Instead of a snowy winter scene, however, it appeared to be a flat sheet of ice. There was a small replica of the observatory at Glacier Peake on the ice. And instead of snow there was a faint black sky dotted with stars.

"Give it a shake," Jonathan instructed. So I did.

The ice and observatory faded into the background and the stars took prominence. I watched as the stars slowly morphed and the constellations changed. It was obviously an accelerated progression of their course over a year long period.

"It's the recorded positions of the stars at Glacier Peake while we were there this summer," Jonathan explained. "I know how much you enjoyed it, and I thought you might like to revisit some of the nights. So I contacted the old codgers down there and…"

I breathed in slowly, on hand over my mouth. Jonathan leaned in towards Remus.

"If she cries, then it means I succeeded," he whispered.

"Oh, stop," I said. I tried to push them back, but one tear escaped. Jonathan grinned. "Thank you, Jonathan. It's lovely."

Jonathan went next and opened the gift I gave him.

"It's a meteorite shard from the shower on our first night in Glacier Peake. One of those _old_ _codgers_ let me keep it. You seemed to really enjoy that night, even if you didn't enjoy anything else."

"It was wicked!" he exclaimed. "The meteorites were falling everywhere when we arrived. It was really…er—I mean…yeah, it was alright."

I laughed. I'd never heard him so animated about our trip.

"It's your go, Pro…er—Remus. Sorry I didn't get you anything."

"That's alright, Jonathan. I wasn't expecting you to. After all, you didn't know I was coming to dinner."

Again they gave me identical looks.

"Really! Stop that! You're starting to synchronize and it's tripping me out!"

They both laughed, and even that was synchronized.

Remus opened the gift I gave him.

"Self-grading quills," I explained. "A boon if you ask me; they've saved me so much time. Anytime you give an exam or homework assignment that has specific answers, i.e. list the sixty-seven moons of Jupiter, you fill one out yourself with the correct answers, and then it will grade all the others. It doesn't work as well with essays, but you can teach it to search for key words."

"Thank you, Katherine. I'm sure I'll find a great use for them."

Then it was my turn to open the gift he gave me. (It had arrived that morning with all the others, but I held on to it in hopes that he would join us for dinner.) It was a scarf, with a permanent warming charm that was activated by touch, he explained.

"Great! Maybe now she won't get sick again," Jonathan said.

"Thank you, Remus. It's very thoughtful, and I do enjoy your warming charms."

"Now you just have to remember to use it," Remus said. Then, he handed Jonathan the last gift.

"I wasn't quite sure what to get you, but then I came across this. It was given to me one Christmas by someone I cared a great deal for. I've learned all I can from it, and I knew she'd want the knowledge passed on to someone who'd appreciate it. After seeing your work in class, I'm certain I've made the right choice."

I was quite curious what Remus could be passing on, but then Jonathan pulled out a very familiar and a very worn book: _Charms of Defense and Deterrence_. It was the very book I'd given him in sixth year. It was the book that taught me how to produce a Patronus, and ultimately led to my rescue. It was the book we spent many nights reading and discussing the finer points of when the nightmares of my capture and torture would keep me up at night. It became a bit of a passion for us, and now he was giving it to our son.

Only… Neither one of them realized the significance of this moment.

It all fell into place for me then. I looked at Remus, and I looked at Jonathan; I didn't see a Professor and his student. I saw a Father and his Son. Suddenly my world started closing in on me, and I couldn't breathe. I had to get out of there.

I muttered some excuse about needing to step out for…something, I can't remember what exactly, and I left. I stumbled up the hall in a daze, trying to catch my breath. I had no idea where I was heading, and instead fumbled around as though blind. Fortunately the only person to see me, besides the nosey Portraits, was Professor McGonagall.

"Katherine? Katherine, what's going on? Are you alright?"

"I…I… Oh God!" I cried. I was on the verge of hysterics and she quickly pulled me out of the hall for privacy.

"Is it Jonathan? Did something happen to Jonathan?"

"Oh God! Jonathan…"

She started heading back towards the door, thinking something had happened to him. I quickly stopped her.

"No! Wait! Jonathan…" I choked on tears. "Jonathan's fine; he's with Remus. They…they're in my chambers. We…we were having dinner…a family dinner, and…"

"And you suddenly saw them as a family," she finished for me. I nodded and started crying.

"Merlin! What have I done? What was I thinking? I can't… we can't… Oh God! Professor, I… I don't know what to do."

She looked at me grimly but with great sympathy. "I think you know what you _have_ to do, Miss Potter."

She was right, of course she was. I knew I had to tell Remus; I've known for some time. It wasn't fair to Remus or to Jonathan. It wasn't fair to her for making her keep my secret, or to the other professors who knew. It wasn't fair to me to have to carry such a burden around.

I had to tell Remus the truth; I knew that. And I was resigned to do that now. But knowing what I had to do didn't make doing it any easier, and I feared the fallout that was sure to come.

 **XXX**

I stayed in the empty room a moment more to compose myself. I couldn't walk in teary-eyed or Jonathan might not leave. I'd decided to tell Remus first and wait until this summer to tell Jonathan. He didn't need the added stress that would come with knowing that his father had been at school all year, and that I'd been keeping the truth from him.

I walked in to find Jonathan and Remus discussing Ghoul Studies again. I had entered through the open door rather quietly, so they didn't know I was there. I stood for a moment and just watched as they laughed together freely, and I prayed it wouldn't be the last time I saw something like that. Remus was the first one to notice me; his eyes caught mine when he looked up. Jonathan quickly turned around to see what had caught his attention.

I put on a smile for Jonathan's sake.

"Mum!"

"I'm alright," I said, holding up a hand. I knew he was about to rush over. "My claustrophobia was acting up for some reason. I just needed to walk."

Jonathan smiled grimly. Unfortunately it wasn't the first episode he'd witnessed.

"Are you feeling better now?" Remus asked with genuine concern that nearly broke me again.

"Yes. Much. Thank you."

Jonathan's eyes flashed between the two of us. "I… need to go," he said. "I mean… I should head back to the dorms now, see if I can convince Harry to give me flying lessons. Perhaps with a Firebolt I'll have a decent chance. Or, at least the snow might cushion the fall."

"Not likely," I said. "It just leaves you cold and wet."

He smiled. "Happy Christmas, Mum."

I placed a hand on his cheek and drew in a shaky breath before kissing his forehead. "Happy Christmas."

He waved goodbye to Remus and left, leaving the two of us alone. Now was the moment.

I stood there for a while and just looked at him, soaking up this happy image of him. We'd just had a wonderful night together, and he had a happy gleam in his eyes. I knew I was about to ruin it all for him.

My nerves were running wild; I could feel my hands start to shake. I think he picked up on it because he slowly approached me. He placed one hand on my arm, and slowly tilted my chin up with the other. When my eyes locked with his, he ran his hand along my jaw to move the hair out of my face. The path of his hand was like fire on my skin. Meanwhile, his other hand slid down my arm to take hold of my hand.

"Thank you for inviting me," he whispered.

"I'm glad you could come." My voice cracked. I was beginning to lose my nerve, and if I didn't act soon then I knew I wouldn't act a all. "R—Remus, we…I think we should talk."

"Yes, but first…"

He paused and the look in his eyes suddenly changed. He no longer appeared concerned about my nervous state, and instead he was asking for permission. _This_ was it. He wanted to kiss me, but he was asking if he could first. There would be nothing to stop us now but me. And I knew I should. I _knew_ I should say no. But I wanted just one last taste. My tears were just beyond the surface as I gave a feeble nod.

My response was barely visible, but it was enough. He lowered his lips to mine just as my tears broke through. His kiss was everything I remembered it to be and magnified a hundred times over. It's like I could feel every kiss we ever shared. When I pulled him closer he didn't resist. It was wrong; I knew it was, but how could something so wrong _feel_ so right?

We broke apart and I let him go as I tried to hold in my own pain. I watched his reaction, and it was like watching the pieces fall into place. He connected all the dots in his head from our first greeting to the kiss we just shared. For a moment we were frozen in that time as he looked at me and I at him. One word escaped his lips in a quiet whisper. It wasn't a question or a statement. It was a sudden realization of fact, spoken in confusion.

"Kate…"

I stepped away from him and nodded slowly. "I… I'm sorry… I…" I said between sobs.

He stumbled back a few paces, knocking into the table and knocking Jonathan's gifts to the floor. His face flashed through a range of emotions from bewilderment to hurt.

"What… How… But you're…"

The last emotion to come was anger.

"You mean… all this time… you've really been…"

"I'm sorry," I said again. I knew it meant nothing. "I never intended for this to happen. I never meant…"

"You never meant to tell me?"

"No… Yes!... I don't know. At first, no, you weren't ever meant to know. But then… Then I realized I'd have to tell you, I just… I didn't know how and I hoped…"

"You hoped what, Kate? That I'd be forgiving? That I wouldn't mind being played this whole time?"

"You weren't being played…"

"Wasn't I?" he said fiercely as he took a single step towards me. "You've known from the start who I was, but you've been lying about everything! All the stories you told me about your family, about your brothers!"

"You know now that they weren't just stories. I said both my parents were dead; they are. I said my brothers were all gone, and they are."

He paced for a bit. "How did I not see this before? I knew… I _knew_ something wasn't right, but I… I couldn't place my finger on it. But this… this explains so much! Merlin! I'm such an idiot!"

"You're not…"

"Who else knows?" he wouldn't let me get a word in hardly.

"What?"

"Who _else_ knows, Kate? About this little…charade of yours, who else knows? Does Dumbledore?"

"Yes, of course Dumbledore knows…"

"Bloody hell!"

"…but he's not happy about it in the least. He absolutely refuses to call me Katherine and hasn't used it once."

"He knew and he didn't tell me…" he whispered, seemingly having ignored what I said.

"It wasn't his place to tell you."

"No! It was yours!" He rounded on me. "And you should have told me long before now!"

"I know, and I…"

"Who else?" Remus didn't want an explanation of why I didn't tell him. He just wanted to know who all knew.

"McGonagall?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Flitwick?"

I nodded.

"…Snape?"

I remained silent and he took it as the confirmation it was.

"Shit! Snape knows but you couldn't care to tell me?"

"Look! I'm not thrilled that Snape knows. If I had it my way he wouldn't. Do you think it's made it an easier to work with him knowing he knows my greatest secret? Wondering when he might let something slip? When Dumbledore hired me, he asked me then to come out with who I was to everyone, but I haven't answered to 'Kate' for twelve years. So, for Jonathan's sake we agreed…"

"Jonathan…"

"Yes, for Jonathan, the Headmaster and I agreed that only the Heads of House would know who I really was and therefore know who his father was."

"…His father?"

"Oh, don't make me spell it out for you, Remus. You've always been smarter than that."

I knew the moment he knew. I could see the acceptance wash over him, nearly exhausting him of his strength.

"And does… Jonathan… does he know about this game you've been playing?"

"It's not…" I sighed. "No; he doesn't know about any of this. He was too young to remember Kate. He knows me only as Katherine."

"I can't believe… I can't I have a son and you never saw fit to tell me. This is low, Kate. This is abysmally low." He was speaking rather calmly now. It was that soft, quiet anger that was worse than the yelling.

"You made your choice, Remus," I said, tears flowing anew. "I gave you chance after chance…time after time… and you made your choice. You chose Dumbledore and his precious wolves over me." My voice began to rise. "I begged you to stay; I threw myself at your feet, and you stepped over me on your way out the door. I gave you everything…until there was nothing left of me to give. I gave you my love… I gave you my life… I gave you my heart! … And you spat it out…like a rabid dog!"

"Mum?"

I looked quickly over my shoulder to see Jonathan standing just inside the door. Shit! How much had he heard? What did you know? I could feel the air escaping my lungs quickly and not returning. The walls began to close in on me as he just stood there staring at me. Then he turned his cold, icy glare on Remus.

"I think you should leave, Professor," he said in the same quiet anger Remus had displayed only seconds ago.

"Jonathan, I don't think you quite understand what's going on," Remus replied firmly.

"I think I understand enough." Jonathan walked over to me in a show of his support.

"Jonathan…"

"You heard my son, Remus." I looked back over my shoulder at Remus and locked eyes with him once more. A hundred emotions flittered through his eyes as he looked between the two of us. Then with a quite indignation he fled, taking the remaining air from my lungs with him.

 **XXX**

"You heard my son, Remus."

 _"…my son…"_

 _"…my…son…"_

Her words echoed in his head as he looked between the two of them. The woman he thought he'd never see again… The woman he still hadn't seen as she kept up the charade she'd created. The son he didn't know he had, clearly taking her side in the matter.

And why would he choose anything else? Why would he choose the father he didn't know over the mother who raised him? Why would a brilliant young man like Jonathan, choose a down-and-out werewolf like Remus?

Remus had a hundred reasons to stay and argue further, but he only needed the one the leave.

* * *

 **Well...Sigh...there it is folks. Not a very happy ending, but we knew it wasn't going to be pretty when it all came out. The next chapter though (Broken), has been the hardest chapter write so far. So get your box of tissues ready; it still gives me chills every time I read through it.**


	17. Broken

**Okay, so I really didn't want to make you wait too long for this chapter ESPECIALLY since you all have been AWESOME readers! I am so thankful to each and every one of you.**

 **I must warn you though, as I said in the note at the end of the last chapter, this chapter gives me chills every time I read it. SO have the tissues handy. This entire chapter takes place in 1979 when Kate and Remus are 19, and I hope this chapter clears up any questions as to what happened between them.**

 **Without further delays...**

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

 **Broken**

 ** _February 18, 1979_**

Things with Remus had only deteriorated since Lily's birthday. The silence between us was deafening. We were lightyears apart while sitting in the same room. Walking around the house was like wading through a mine field; we were so fearful of setting the other off, we hardly even glanced in the other's direction. When he left for the last full moon with the wolves, he was gone for a whole week without so much as an Owl to say he was still alive.

The one good thing to have emerged from the last month was that my morning sickness had subsided a little.

The hiss and sizzle of the simmering soup drew my attention to the stove. I walked over, lifted the lid, and stirred. The aroma made me salivate, but I could find no pleasure in it. I was cooking dinner for the two of us. It didn't matter that we hadn't spoken to each other all day; I still made him dinner. Tonight it would be his favorite: chicken noodle soup. It was Hope's own recipe. I decided to make the soup not because it would bring him some small pleasure, but because it was simple and easy. And it helped soothe an uneasy stomach.

I heard him enter the room behind me and sniff the air.

"I know that smell," he said. "You're making my Mum's soup."

"Yes," I replied, even though it wasn't a question. "And it's ready. Can you grab the bowls?"

I heard him open and close a nearby cupboard to retrieve two bowls. He set them on the counter near me and headed towards the fridge.

"What would you like to drink?" he asked.

"Just water." I ladled a few scoops into the bowls.

"Are you sure? We have pumpkin juice. Or there's…"

"Just water."

"Right…water…" he said coolly.

There was a stiffness in the air between us. He sighed and I sighed. Then I turned towards him and tried to smile faintly.

"Pumpkin juice will be great."

He gave a faint smile back and poured us each a glass. He carried our drinks to the table while I followed with the bowls. As I handed him his soup our fingers brushed together. The fire I once felt was more like a dying ember.

We sat across from each other like we usually did and ate in silence. The scrapping of spoon against bowl was the only sound to be heard. It seemed we'd expended our conversation for the day.

"This tastes…different."

Or perhaps not. My eyes flashed up to look at him.

"Not a bad different," he said quickly. "It's still delicious. It's just…different. Did you change something?"

I shrugged. "I ran out of rosemary, so I used sage instead."

"Is that all?"

I thought about it for a moment before replying. "Yes."

"Hmm… You'll have to pass that along to my Mum. I like it with sage."

"You don't mind the change?"

"Not when it's made by you. You're brilliant, Kate. The lack of rosemary could have spoiled the whole the pot." He was teasing, but not in a cruel way. I gave him a teary smile.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

I shook my head. My tears were much harder to control as of late. "No. You…you haven't called me brilliant in a while. I guess I forget some times."

"And that's my fault," he admitted. Then he reached across the table to place his hand over mine. This time it felt like there was something slightly more than a dying ember.

We continued our dinner with a constant, quiet conversation. It was the most we had spoken to one another in a long while. After we finished eating, Remus stayed in the kitchen to help me clean. It's true, we could have easily cleaned the dishes using magic, but I often found cleaning to be rather soothing.

We did the dishes side by side. I washed and he rinsed. Our kitchen sink wasn't large by any means, so we stood with our shoulders touching. We were still talking and even smiling a little.

"Hold on," Remus said. "You… you have something on your nose."

"I do?" I looked cross-eyed down at my nose, but I didn't see anything. "Where?"

"Right… here."

I felt his finger brush against the tip of my nose and suddenly there was a little puff of soap suds that hadn't been there before. I stared cross-eyed at the suds but they didn't disappear. Then I turned my gaze to Remus. He was grinning like the Cheshire cat. As I stared unblinking at him, his grin began to fade until it vanished all together.

"Sorry, I…"

His words were cut short by the water I'd splashed in his face. He looked at me and I smiled slowly. His grin returned.

"Oh, it's on now."

He splashed me back, and so began our war of water. In mere moments we were both drenched from our torsos up. Remus had the upper hand because he had his wand on him. He could direct the water where he wanted it to go; whereas, I had my head turned away from him and was simply trying to splash water in his general direction.

Before long, Remus had me backing away from the sink as I tried to avoid his jets of water. I needed ammo though. So in a desperate attempt to fight back I grabbed some of the remaining soup we had packed up. I scooped a handful and tossed it his way; it smacked him in the face. He swiped off what he could and threw it back at me. He soon abandoned the sink as well for his own container of soup.

We danced around the kitchen in circles, dousing each other with soup. Our laughter was a strange and foreign sound that I welcomed. I found a slick spot on the floor and my feet slipped out from underneath me. I felt myself falling backwards, and I threw my arms out to catch myself. My soup went flying in the process and spilled all over me.

I was sure I was going to knock my head on the table behind me, but then a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and caught me. I kept my eyes locked on Remus' as he set me back on my feet. He had abandoned his soup to catch me. Even when I was steady on my feet again, Remus did not release me. He held me close and our eyes locked. I reached up a shaky hand to remove some noodles that had looped around his ear. My fingers trailed slowly along his jaw on the way back.

Suddenly his lips claimed mine and I was more than obliging. I couldn't remember the last time we shared a simple peck, let alone a kiss this intense. The dying embers I felt before came roaring back to life. He hoisted me onto the table and stood between my legs. He made quick work of relieving me of my shirt. I fumbled with the buttons of his while his lips attacked my neck.

I couldn't stop the little sounds of pleasure I made. I was desperate for more of him. Finally relieving him of one of his shirts, I began to pull haphazardly at the other to free it of his waistline. When at last I could run my hands over his skin, he began to laugh softly; he was always a bit ticklish.

"Sorry," he whispered, pulling back slightly.

"Still ticklish there?" I asked in a breathy voice.

"Yes, but that's not all."

"What is it then?" I kept my hands on his hips where I lazily traced small patterns on his skin.

"You taste like my Mum's soup."

I groaned. "You did not just mention your mother while we were in the middle of this."

"I see now that was a mistake," he chuckled.

I tugged him forward by his hips, not that he could have moved much closer. I had a sudden _need_ to feel him.

"Fortunately, it can still be remedied." My voice was laden with desire.

"Shall we take this to the bedroom then?" he asked, desire etched in his own voice.

"I see no reason why we should. This is our house."

He grinned lustfully as he moved a hand along my inner thigh.

"You know…there seems to be something different about you," he said.

"What? How so? What do you mean?" I asked quickly.

"I'm… not sure."

"I cut my hair…last week. That must be it."

"…No…" he replied as he combed a hand through my hair and pulled out noodles and carrots. "Though, I do like what you've done with it." He laughed. "That's not it."

His hand slowly trailed down my neck and along my sternum.

"It's almost as though…"

My breathing was becoming erratic and not simply because of the path his hands were taking on my body.

"…you seem to be glowing."

"Remus." His name escaped my lips in a soft moan, and his eyes came back up to meet mine, a lustful gleam in them. "It's because… I… I'm…"

* * *

 _"I'm pregnant," I confessed._

 _There was a moment of silence as he looked at me._

 _"You're… You mean… I'm going to be a father?"_

 _I nodded slowly. "Yes."_

 _He simply stared a moment more as my words sank in, and then he smiled._

 _"I'm going to be a father!"_

 _He laughed loudly before placing numerous kisses all over my face. I joined his happy laughing as he repeated the words in glee._

 **XXX**

 **"I'm pregnant," I confessed.**

 **There was a moment of silence as he stared at me.**

 **"You're… what?"**

 **"I'm pregnant," I repeated. "You're going to be a father."**

 **Again he just stared at me as my words sank in. Then he slowly started backing away with a shake of his head.**

 **"No… No that can't be. This... This can't happen. What have you done, Kate?!"**

* * *

The same two scenarios played over again in my head as they had so often before. They were slightly different, but the two outcomes where always the same. And truthfully, I didn't know which was more likely to happen.

"I…it's because I'm so in love you with you," I said tearfully...fearfully.

He smiled and brushed my tears away. "I'm so in love with you too."

Then he kissed me again, deeply and sensually. This kiss was driven less by lust and more by love. We broke apart only to slip his shirt over his head, and then his lips claimed me once more. His hand was traveling up my spine and reaching for the clasp of my bra when we both felt another presence in the room. I knew what it was before I opened my eyes by the faint silver glow it produced.

Remus turned his head to the side to listen as the silver phoenix delivered its message. His shoulders sagged in defeat and he let out a great sigh. I kept my hands planted firmly on his bare waist.

"Don't," I whispered. He turned his eyes back to me. I could already feel my tears threatening to fall.

"Please, Remus, don't go."

"Kate…"

"Please, stay. Make love to me like we used to: wild and free. Please…"

My hands shook as I fumbled with the button on his pants. I kissed his neck tearfully, desperately trying to keep my hold on him. I succeeded for a bit as his head lolled to the side. He moaned and I gained more confidence; I worked harder on his neck.

The phoenix squawked, waiting for a reply.

Remus grabbed my wrists and forced me to stop. He pulled back breaking my contact with his skin. He brought my hands up to his lips and kissed my fingers lightly.

"Kate… We can pick this up where we left off when I return I swear; I won't be gone long. But I do have to leave now."

He slowly backed out of the kitchen and the loneliness swept over me like the cold arctic air. The room began to spin around me. I couldn't seem to find the necessary air to breathe; yet somehow, I managed to follow him to the bedroom. He had already rid himself of the remnants of our soup, and he was putting on fresh clothes.

"I… I can't…I can't do this anymore," I said through sobs.

He looked up at me. "Kate?"

"I…I can't…keep watching you…you walk away."

"I'm not walking away, I have a mission…"

"Yes, but that's what it feels like!" I shouted suddenly. "I…I'm sorry, but I…I can't… I _won't_ do this…anymore." I looked at him, and though it killed me to say it, I said I anyway.

"If…if you leave, then… Then I won't be here when you get back. I'm done, Remus."

He looked at me, and I looked at him. Then he slowly walked over and cupped my face in his hands. He brushed a few tears away. His touch was tender as though he was handling something extremely fragile. And he was; I was on the verge of breaking.

He kissed me softly. For a moment I allowed myself to believe that I'd finally gotten through to him. For a moment I believed that everything would be fine. But then the kiss ended.

"I love you, Kate. Please…don't leave. I'll be back before you know it. I love you."

He stepped back, and then he was gone.

 **XXX**

I stood frozen where he'd left me. I hadn't moved even to put on clothes. I wore only my bra and jeans. The little swell of my abdomen showing, and he hadn't noticed.

I was certain he'd return moments later, aware of his mistake. He'd beg me to forgive him, and I would. I'd forgive him in an instant. All would be well.

Thirty minutes passed and he still hadn't returned. I made my way back to the kitchen and put my top back on.

...

...

...

Thirty minutes became an hour. He wasn't back, but I had cleaned.

...

...

...

After two hours I accepted that he wasn't returning immediately.

...

...

...

 **XXX**

I arrived in the middle of James and Lily's lounge, a small bag in hand. James gave a yelp and fell from the couch.

"Merlin! Kate! Give a bloke a little warning next time."

I was numb; I couldn't move.

"Kate? Kate…"

I still hadn't moved.

"Lily! I think Kate's broken!"

"What are you talking about, James?" Lily asked as she walked in. Then she must have seen me. "Kate! When did you get here?"

"Just now," James replied.

"Kate… Kate?"

"See. Broken."

"James."

"What? She hasn't said a word. She hasn't even moved. She just showed up with a bag, and…"

"A bag?" There was a pause, and then… "Oh no, Kate."

I finally looked up. Lily looked like she could cry for me. James wasn't sure what was going on or what to do, so he ran a hand through his hair.

"I… I… I c-couldn't… I couldn't do it… anymore…"

"Why don't you sit down, and tell us exactly what happened?" Lily said calmly as she took my hand. She led me to the vacant couch and encouraged me to sit down. It didn't take much as my legs gave out.

"I… I asked him… not to go. I… I told him I'd had enough, that I… that I couldn't keep watching him leave. But he still left, and I… I couldn't do it, Lily," I cried.

"I kind of hate to ask, but… what happened exactly?" James said, clearly uncomfortable.

"She left Remus," Lily explained.

"She…left?"

"She broke up with him."

"She… Oh… blimey, Kate."

"He… he asked me not to go," I said through sobs. "But…how many times have I asked him to stay, and he still left? He shouldn't expect me to stay when _he_ won't stay. I couldn't bring a child into that environment."

"Wait… a child?"

There was silence as I looked at Lily. She pulled her lip in between her teeth, as she continued to keep my secret. I looked at James.

"Y-yes…" I choked. "A child, James. I'm pregnant."

There was a pop making us all jump a bit.

"Oi! What's going on? I came as soon as I heard," Sirius said, sounding out of breath.

We all looked at him.

"What? Prongs sent a Patronus that said Kate was broken, so I came right over," he explained.

"She's not broken," Lily said with a sigh. "It will get better," she said the last bit to me.

"Then what…"

"I'm pregnant," I said.

"Preg… Moony's having pups!" he exclaimed. "Or will they be kittens? Or some combination thereof?"

I couldn't help it; I started wailing.

"Sirius!"

"Lily!"

"Shebrokeupwithhim," James mumbled.

"What?

"She broke up with him."

"She… Oh, shit! Kate, I'm so sorry."

"It's… it's… it's Oh… You… you didn't...didn't know." I was quickly becoming hysterical, and Lily carefully pulled me to my feet.

"Come one, Kate. Let's get you cleaned up. You can stay in the spare room for as long as you need to."

She began to lead me down the hall, my bag in tow. I heard Sirius whisper as we left.

"Why does she have soup in her hair?"

"Bugger if I know," James replied.

 **XXX**

 ** _February 19, 1979_**

Remus arrived home much later than he had anticipated. He was tired and spent, and he smelled like a wet dog. He could only hope that Kate would be forgiving. He knew the chocolates he carried wouldn't solve everything, they weren't even from Honeydukes but from some Muggle store, but hopefully they would help.

The first thing Remus noticed when arriving home was not the silence unfortunately. The silence had become normal, as much as he hated it. No, the first thing he noticed was the cleanliness. In particular, he noticed the cleanliness of the kitchen. There was no evidence of their time in there.

The dishes were all washed and put away. The soup, if any had survived, had been put up. The floor had a soft luminescence. And the table was pristine.

Images from their evening flashed through his mind as he stared at the table. Kate had noodles, carrots, celery, and even a few chunks of chicken in her hair, but she looked radiant. There had been a spark in her eye, the same spark that made him fall in love with her back in fourth year. The spark, though always present, had been dimmer the last six months. Remus had seen it come roaring to life again that evening.

Then another image of her came to mind. She was standing in their bedroom, in nothing but a bra and jeans, tears falling from her eyes, begging him not to leave. And what had he done? He left, with the promise that he'd be back soon. Now, here he was, coming home hours later. He sighed and leaned his head against the frame of the kitchen.

"Kate," he called into the silent house. "Kate, I'm home. I'm sorry I'm so late."

There was no response.

"Kate?"

 _Idiot_! He thought. Of course there wasn't a response; it was late. If he continued yelling like he was he'd wake her up. He'd have to find a gentler way of waking her, or perhaps a more pleasurable way.

He quietly made his way through the darkened house to their bedroom. He dare not turn on the bright light for fear of waking her, so he dimly lit his wand and made his way over to her side of the bed.

It was empty.

He raised his wand and brightened the tip of it. His side was empty too. The whole bed was empty. He turned the lights on, illuminating an empty room.

The toilet!

She had to be in the toilet. She had been sick a lot as of late. Remus hurried down the hall to see how she was fairing. But she wasn't there either. Remus returned to the bedroom, and that's when he noticed the drawer.

It wasn't exactly open, but it wasn't completely closed either. Kate always liked for things to be neat and orderly. She wouldn't have left a drawer partially open. He walked over to close it, but he noticed that something wasn't quite right. So he opened it.

The drawer was empty.

He opened another, and another. They were empty as well, just as the bed was empty. He checked the wardrobe, knowing what he'd find.

Her clothes were gone. _She_ was gone.

Remus stumbled backwards onto the bed. His chest was caving in, tightening like a vice and forcing the air from his lungs. His head was spinning. The cheap chocolates tumbled from his hand onto the floor. He couldn't give voice to his greatest mistake.

He had let her go.


	18. Jonathan's Revenge

**Extra long chapter...hope you enjoy...even if it's not exactly happy...**

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

 **Jonathan's Revenge**

 _ **28 December 1993**_

"Mum," Jonathan called through the door. "Please come to dinner."

….

"Mum…"

Jonathan waited a little more, but Katherine did not come out. So he went on without her and decided to try again later.

 _ **1 January 1994**_

"Mum… It's New Years. Come have breakfast with me. I'm sure the House Elves can make you some chocolate batter pancakes."

…

"Mum…"

"Not today, Jonathan. Maybe later."

His mother's voice was tired and strained. Jonathan went to breakfast alone.

 _ **3 January 1994**_

Jonathan didn't bother with knocking. He was sure she wouldn't have answered if he had. He simply opened the door and announced his arrival. The lounge was dark, but clean. It was probably cleaner than he'd ever seen it. The Christmas tree was gone, as was all evidence that it had ever been there. The table was its normal size again and the seat hadn't been sat in for a few days.

Jonathan looked towards the bedroom door; it was cracked open so he walked towards it. He placed his free hand over his eyes just in case and slowly pushed the door open with his foot.

"Mum? I'm coming in…"

Katherine didn't respond so Jonathan slowly peered through his fingers. She was lying on the bed and fully clothed. Jonathan sighed in relief and dropped his hand from his eye.

"I brought you dinner," he said. "You haven't been coming down to it, so I figured it was time I bring it to you."

She looked up at him slowly, but otherwise didn't move.

"You didn't have to do that," she said hoarsely. "I've been taking meals in my room."

"Oh… Well… have you eaten tonight yet?"

"No."

"Good, then you won't let this go to waste. It's steak and kidney pie and a slice of chocolate cake. Chocolate always makes you feel better, right?"

"It will take more than chocolate to fix this."

"And what is this exactly…?"

Katherine did not respond.

"Did he…do _something_ …to you?" Jonathan really didn't like asking that sort of question, but he didn't like seeing his Mum like this either.

"Because if he did do… _something_ … then I…"

"It's nothing of the sort, Jonathan," she said at last. "I don't want you worrying about me. Just focus on your studies."

"But that's the catch, Mum. I do worry about you and I've never really focused on my studies." He finished with a grin, but Katherine did not smile. She didn't do much of anything. Jonathan's own smile faded into a frown.

"Eat, Mum, you'll feel better." Jonathan stood up to leave. "I'll see you in class tonight." That almost came out as more of a question than a statement.

 _ **6 January 1994**_

Jonathan walked into the Gryffindor common room and flopped onto one of the couches unceremoniously. He couldn't be bothered to do any school work at the moment. He hadn't been bothered to do school work all week. His mother had finally left her chambers…for class and only for class. She hadn't been seen by anyone apart from himself otherwise. The few times Jonathan did see her, her eyes were bloodshot and her voice hoarse from crying. It infuriated Jonathan that his mother was hurting as much as she was and he could do nothing about it.

"Still no change, Mate?" George asked.

"No…she's still the same," Jonathan said with a sigh. "I can't even entice her to leave with a chocolate bar."

"She always goes for the chocolate," Fred said.

"Yeah, she's like…"

"…obsessed with it," Fred and George finished together.

"I know," Jonathan said. "I've never seen her this bad off before. The only thing that comes close is when her favorite box program ended. And even then she was just mostly cheesed off because it ended mid-season. This is all Lupin's bloody fault!"

"I thought you liked Professor Lupin," Katie said. "I believe the words you used to describe him were 'wicked awesome.'"

"Yeah… well now he's a wicked arsehole."

"I'm sure you don't mean that."

"I do! This is all because of him. Whatever _this_ is, it's all his doing. He…broke her somehow."

Just then the common room door opened again and Harry walked in with Ron and Hermione. They made their way over to Jonathan and his group of friends.

"Did she show?" Jonathan asked, though he already knew the answer.

Harry shook his head. "No. Sorry."

"Bloody hell!" Jonathan threw his head back into the couch cushion. "I have to make him pay for this."

"How? You can't cast spells on a teacher, Jonathan," Hermione said reasonably.

"Who said anything about casting spells? There are other ways to get back at him. Who's with me?"

The group remained silent.

"We would mate," Fred began.

"It's just…"

"We all like Professor Lupin."

"Yeah? Well you all liked my Mum first, didn't you?"

"There is that," Ron agreed. Hermione cast him a disapproving glare.

"Maybe…maybe if you could tell us more about what happened between them?" Katie suggested.

Jonathan sighed. "I've already told you everything I know. They fought after Christmas."

"What did they fight over?"

 _Jonathan stood outside his Mum's closed door. He had returned for the gifts he'd mistakenly left behind, but when he arrived he heard raised voices. He knew he should turn away; it wasn't right to listen. When he heard his name, however, he found he couldn't move._

 _"…for Jonathan's sake we agreed…" His mother's voice was quickly cut off by Remus'._

 _"Jonathan?"_

 _"Yes, for Jonathan, the Headmaster and I agreed that only the Heads of House would know…"_

 _Her voice faded out and Jonathan pressed his ear against the door, scrambling to catch her words._

 _"…who his father was."_

 _"His father?" Remus asked._

 _His mum said something Jonathan couldn't decipher._

 _"And does…Jonathan…does he know…"_

 _Jonathan couldn't catch the end of his words either. He waited a bit and hoped they'd speak a little louder. When it became clear that they weren't he carefully edged the door open. Though he couldn't see her face, her tone said it all._

 _She was cheesed._

 _At what, Jonathan couldn't be sure. But there wasn't a doubt in his mind that she was absolutely livid. Jonathan knew it was best to avoid her when she was like this. Fortunately for him, her anger wasn't directed at him. Jonathan was about to back out of the room again, when his mum said something that drew him back in._

 _"…I gave you my heart! And you spat it out…like a rabid dog!"_

"They just fought," Jonathan said at last.

Had they really been fighting about him the whole time? Was this really his fault somehow? And why was the identity of his father so secret that only the Heads of House could know about him?

"Look, I… I don't really know what they were fighting about. But I know she was really upset. I think she really liked him and he really hurt her. So much so, that she hasn't been able to leave her room for nearly two weeks because of it. You don't hurt a bloke's mum like that and get away with it; he deserves what's coming to him. Now, if you lot don't wish to help, fine. I'll do it on my own."

Jonathan stood abruptly and left for his dorm.

 _ **11 January 1994**_

"What is an Inferius, and how do you destroy it?" Remus looked around the classroom before calling on a student to answer. "Jonathan?"

"No thank you," Jonathan replied.

"What was that?"

"I said… No. Thank. You. Are you as deaf as you are thoughtless?"

"Jonathan!" Katie hissed, turning around in her seat.

"I asked you a question, Mr. Porter, and I expect an answer," Professor Lupin said firmly.

"Yeah, and I don't much feel like answering. What are you going to do about it?"

The room fell silent. This sort of behavior was highly unlike Jonathan.

"Five points from Gryffindor, for your cheek, Mr. Porter."

"Five points from the Big Bad Lupin, oooh…" Jonathan heckled.

"We can easily make it fifteen…"

"Lame…"

"…or fifty. Shall I keep going?"

"Jonathan! Please shut your hole before you take us into the negative," Katie pleaded.

Jonathan looked at Katie for a moment before rolling his eyes and muttering, "Whatever."

Katie was astonished and hurt. She bit back her reply and turned back around in her seat.

"Please, Professor," she said with her arm in the air.

Remus' lips were pressed into a thin line. He exhaled through his nose before calling on Katie.

"Yes, Miss Bell?"

"An Inferius is…."

Jonathan sat back in his chair while Katie went on with her answer. He didn't say anything more all period.

 _ **20 January 1994**_

"Now, I want you to break into groups and practice," Remus said wearily.

Katie turned around and looked at Jonathan; they usually paired up together. But Jonathan didn't make to move at all.

"Jonathan, will you be my partner?" she asked.

"No," he said softly.

"Please, Jonathan?"

He sighed. He hated turning her down, but he wasn't going to give Lupin the satisfaction of caving in first. They'd been butting heads since last Tuesday.

"No," he said again.

"Forget it, Katie," Chris said. "The little bugger won't do anything in this class since…"

Katie stood quickly. "I don't know what you suppose you'll accomplish with this attitude of yours, but you should consider this is hurting your friends too."

Jonathan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from caving. She didn't understand. No one did.

 _ **25 January 1994**_

Things with Jonathan and Remus continued to deteriorate. Jonathan refused to participate in class in any manner, and he refused to turn in assignments. He talked back to Remus at every chance, and muttered things under his breath while Remus attempted to teach.

Remus wasn't sure what else he could do. He had deducted points from Gryffindor, but that seemed to have no effect on him. Remus had issued a detention, but Jonathan didn't report for it. Remus knew that if things progressed more, he would have to turn the matter over to McGonagall or the Headmaster. That would pull Kate into the mix, and Remus really didn't want to involve Kate.

Remus had yet to speak to Kate since Christmas, not that he really could even if he wanted to. She avoided public areas such as the Great Hall and the staff room. Rumor had it that no one had really seen her outside of class or her normal office hours.

A part of Remus thought _good riddance_. Another bit of him hated that he thought that. And yet another felt guilty. He had fathered a child and abandoned him. It didn't matter that he didn't _know_ he had a son; ignorance was not a valid excuse in his book.

Remus could very easily picture his Mum's disappointment. He almost felt as though he deserved Jonathan's hate and that's why he was so reluctant to take the discipline further. But he also didn't want to see Jonathan throw away his bright future because of Remus' own mistake. So Remus ignored what he could, punished what he couldn't, and forgot the rest.

But when Jonathan turned his anger on a fellow student, Remus had to intervene. They were practicing defensive spells; Jonathan was refusing to participate, as usual, and Remus was patrolling the aisles. Things were going well, relatively speaking, until Jonathan suddenly yelled. When Remus turned around he saw Jonathan had his wand directed at Wilkes, ready to attack. Remus quickly made his way over.

"Boys? Would one of you care to explain what happened?"

"I didn't do anything, Professor," Wilkes said with a false tremble in his voice. "Porter just attacked; he's gone mental!"

"That's a lie!" Katie defended. "He's lying, Professor. Wilkes said something about Professor Porter. We all heard it."

"Yeah, he called her a… Well… I don't want to repeat it, Sir," Chris said. "Jonathan was only defending his mum."

"Is what they are saying true?" Remus asked Jonathan and Wilkes. Wilkes only smirked but Jonathan remained mute.

"Detention, Mr. Wilkes, for disrespecting another professor in my classroom. I believe this is the fourth infraction of such a nature. A letter will be sent to your parents. As for you, Jonathan, you may lower your wand. The matter has been sorted."

Jonathan did not lower his wand however.

"Mister Porter, lower your wand," Remus instructed. There was a collective gasp as Jonathan suddenly turned his wand on Remus.

"I urge you, Mr. Porter, to consider your next actions very carefully."

For a moment it appeared as though neither Remus nor Jonathan were going to give in. Remus could see the Potter influence easily. Neither Kate nor James ever backed down from a fight.

Jonathan finally lowered his wand and huffed. "This is ridiculous. This class is ridiculous. The professor is ridiculous." Then he grabbed his things and walked out.

Remus sighed. "As you were," he said as he resumed his patrolling.

 _ **27 January 1994**_

Remus really didn't want to do what he was about to do. He'd been avoiding it for as long as he could. However, after Jonathan's behavior on Tuesday, he failed to show up for class at all on Thursday. Remus knew he couldn't avoid it any more.

He tapped lightly on the open office door.

"Come on in! I'm in the library; I'll be right there."

 _The library?_ Thought Remus. Then he noticed what appeared to be a small broom closet just to the right of the desk. The door was open and an orange light flooded the office the floor. A moment later Katherine walked out; her head was bowed as she looked at the books the in her hand.

"How can I help you—oh…" Her voice trailed off when she looked up and saw him standing there.

They stared in silence for a moment. Even in the dark Remus could see the red rim around her irises and the dark circles beneath her eyes. It was the first time either one had seen the other since Christmas…since their fight…since their kiss…. Sometimes Remus could still feel her lips on his and he wanted more, and _that_ angered him. Why couldn't he just forget?

"How…how can I help you, Professor?" she asked, breaking Remus from his spell.

"I think we should talk," he replied as he moved into the office a little more.

"A—about us?"

Remus hesitated. "Yes…but I don't think I can do that just yet. We need to talk about Jonathan…about how he's been acting lately."

"Perhaps we should sit then." Katherine sat behind her desk and Remus took the seat in front of it. "What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm not sure what you told him about the fight…"

"I haven't told him anything."

"Well, he's been acting out since then."

"Acting out how?"

"Well, he's been talking back to me for starters."

"It's called being a teenager, Remus. That's not ground-breaking news."

"And apparently it's genetic," he retorted sharply.

Katherine breathed in deep; her nostrils flaring slightly. "What else has he supposedly been doing?"

"He's refusing to participate in class. He's not turning in his assignments."

"Though not ideal behavior, this can still be explained by him being fourteen."

"Just this Tuesday he pulled his wand on another student."

Katherine sat back in her chair and folded her arms over her chest.

"Which student?" she asked.

"Theodore Wilkes."

"And what did Wilkes do to provoke him?"

"I didn't hear or see anything."

"That doesn't mean it didn't happen. You know the family."

"When I intervened, Jonathan turned his wand on me..."

Katherine closed her eyes and let out a puff of air through her nose.

"…before he walked out in the middle of class. Today, he didn't show at all."

"I assume you have deducted points for his behavior."

"They've had no effect on him."

"And you've issued a detention."

"He didn't report for it."

"Have you gone to McGonagall with this?"

"Not yet. As a…professional courtesy, I decided to come to you first, since we both know why he's doing this."

Katherine nodded in understanding. "I'll handle it."

When it became evident that she wasn't going to say more, Remus stood to leave. He was nearly at the door when she did speak again, and he turned around to listen.

"He's just like them you know, his uncles," she clarified. "He didn't have much time with them but they had a big influence on him. He and I fought like cats and dogs all summer and he was fine with it. But the instant someone says or does something to upset me, he's there to defend my honor. You used to be the same."

"I remember," he admitted softly. He didn't want to remember, but he did.

"Thank you…for bringing this to me first. You can expect him tomorrow around dinner for his detention," she said matter-of-factly.

She turned away from him then, signaling the end of their conversation. Remus almost missed the subtle movement of her hand reaching to wipe away her tears. Almost. Remus turned and left with a soft sigh. He hated seeing her cry, but even more so he hated being the reason _why_ she cried.

 _ **28 January 1994**_

Jonathan walked through the open door of his Mum's office after his Charms class on Friday.

"You wanted to see me, Mum?"

"Yes, come in; take a seat."

Jonathan did as instructed and placed his bag on the floor by his legs. Instead of sitting behind her desk, Katherine brought her chair around the side and sat facing Jonathan.

"Professor Lupin came to see me," she began.

Jonathan huffed and sat back in his chair. "Did he now? Bloody git. I suppose you're going to tell me how mad you are now? How I should respect the bloody git and do as I'm told?"

"No," Katherine said with a shake of her hand. "I'm not mad, Jonathan."

"You're not?"

"I'm disappointed."

 _Oh shh_ … Jonathan thought. He'd rather her be angry.

"And I'm confused. Why would you risk your grade in one of your favorite classes?"

"I thought that would be obvious, Mum."

"Then explain it to me like it's not."

"Alright… because the git…"

" _Professor_ ," Katherine corrected.

"Fine, because… _Professor Lupin_ … did something to you, Mum. You can deny it all you want, but I know he hurt you. It's like he…broke you somehow."

"I'm not broken, Jonathan," she said with a sigh. "Do I hurt? Yes, but I'm not broken. And the thing is, Jonathan, I brought this on myself. I could have avoided all of this, but I chose to ignore my better judgement. So, if you're going to be mad at someone for hurting me, then you should be mad at me."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I'm not sure I do either," Katherine confessed. "Remus may not be innocent of all charges, but the pain I feel now is of my own doing. Though I appreciate the gesture of you rushing to defend my honor, I'd rather you be bigger than all of this. I'd hate for you to throw away your future because of my mistake. Can you understand that?"

"Yeah…I…I think so. Does this mean you're ready to come out of hiding?"

"It means I'm going to try. I can't promise any immediate changes."

"I'm sorry for letting you down, Mum."

Katherine smiled and kissed the top of his head. "I'm glad you said that; it's good practice."

"Practice?" Jonathan asked as his Mum stood up, a sudden pep in her step.

"Yes, because now you are going to go down to Professor Lupin's office and apologize to him." She grabbed a small tin canister from the shelf above the fireplace.

"What! Apologize!" Jonathan leapt to his feet. "But I thought we just fixed everything."

"We did…between us. Now you're going to fix things with him."

"But, Mum!"

"'But Mum' nothing. You were very disrespectful, Jonathan, so now you're going to apologize and mean it. Then you're going to serve the detentions you owe."

Katherine threw some floo powder into the flames and called out when they turned green. "Professor Lupin, are you in your office?"

There was a slight pause and Jonathan crossed his fingers hoping no one would answer.

"I am," came the voice of Professor Lupin at last.

"Good, then we will be down shortly."

Katherine turned back to Jonathan. "Now, get moving." She pointed towards the door.

"Wouldn't it be faster to just use the floo system?" Jonathan asked.

"It would, but we're still walking. Now go."

Jonathan grunted as he grabbed his book bag. "This is so embarrassing, Mum."

"Yeah? Well imagine how Professor Lupin felt when you humiliated him in front of his whole class. Or imagine the embarrassment of your friends every time you acted up. And channel that feeling into your apology to make it sincere."

Jonathan groaned again as they left Katherine's office. It was dinner time, so everyone was making their way to the Great Hall. So that meant that everyone was in the corridors to see Jonathan as he was marched along with a very stern looking Katherine behind him. All of his friends saw and grimaced as they walked by. And of course Katherine had to take them on the route that passed by the open doors that led into the Great Hall to ensure maximum exposure.

When they finally arrived, Remus was sitting at his desk in the classroom. He looked up from the papers he'd been grading and set aside his quill.

"Jonathan has something he'd like to say," Katherine said. Then she looked pointedly at Jonathan.

Jonathan just stared back at as though to say, 'Really, Mum?'

"We can stand here all night, Jonathan, or you can just get on with it."

Jonathan sighed before turning towards Remus and muttering. "I'm sorry."

"That's bullocks, Jonathan. You can do better than that."

Jonathan took a deep breath before trying again.

"I…apologize for talking back during class…and for being disrespectful…and for embarrassing you in front of the class, and for drawing my wand on you, and for being all around insubordinate." He finished on a sincere note.

Jonathan paused a moment to let his words sink in. Then he turned to his Mum. "Satisfied?"

"Professor?" Katherine asked, turning to Remus.

Remus nodded slowly, realizing the decision was up to him. "Yes. Thank you, Jonathan for the apology. I accept it."

Katherine turned back to Jonathan. "I expect more of you, Jonathan. I don't ever want to do this sort of thing again. Standing up to your peers is one thing, but disrespecting an adult the way you did is another matter entirely. You're above such actions."

"Alright, Mum, I hear you. And I really am sorry. I swear, it won't happen again."

"I should think not." Katherine pulled Jonathan in and gave him another kiss on his forehead. Then she turned to Remus. "Now, he's all yours for his two detentions."

"Two?" Jonathan protested. "But I only skipped the one."

"Yes, and I'm giving you another for walking out in class. And if you argue it further, I'll make it three and you'll serve them with me."

Jonathan threw his arms up in surrender. "This is me _not_ arguing it further."

"Wise choice." Katherine turned back to Remus again. "Have fun with this one."

Katherine turned to leave.

"Wait! What about dinner?" Jonathan asked.

"You can get dinner afterwards. The kitchens are always open. I'm sure Binky will be pleased to serve you."

Katherine left then and left Jonathan and Remus in an awkward silence.

"I can't believe you ratted me out to my Mum," Jonathan said at last.

"Believe it or not, but I did it because I care. You're a bright boy, Jonathan, and I didn't want to see you throw away your future because of my mistake."

"Weird. My Mum said almost the exact same thing…actually, I think it was exact, including the 'my mistake' bit."

"Did she now?" Remus picked up his quill again to avoid making eye contact. "Well…I suppose you can scrape the gum off the desks and we'll call it even."

"Really? That's all?"

"I would think that your Mum parading you in front of your peers at dinner time would serve as a punishment itself."

Jonathan snorted and his lips twitched into a small smirk before he realized what he was doing. He quickly wiped the smile off his face before getting to work.


	19. Numb

**Happy (almost) Friday! I love you guys. I smile every time I get an alert notification, and the reviews make my day.**

* * *

 **Numb**

Nearly six weeks to the day since Christmas dinner had passed, and I still felt numb from the fall out. I was doing better; I had promised Jonathan I would try. I was now having every dinner in the Great Hall again and most lunches. Breakfast was difficult to make. I was taking Poppy's tonic every night and it knocked me out so I usually missed breakfast.

Remus and I were still avoiding each other. It wasn't as bad as before. We didn't go out of our way to avoid each other like we had, but we certainly weren't spending all our spare time together either.

On Thursday I woke up at my usual time of 10:30. I showered and dressed before going into my lounge area. An apple and the _Daily Prophet_ were waiting for me on the table. I nearly choked on my first bite as I read the headline that scrolled across the top of the paper.

BLACK TO RECEIVE DEMENTOR'S KISS

I quickly read through the accompanying article, growing more nauseated with every word. The article explained that the Minister of Magic had given permission to the Dementors to perform the Kiss on Sirius _on sight_! This was ridiculous and it had to be stopped. So I tried reaching out to the one person who might understand. I glanced at my watch. Class would be letting out soon. I hurried along to his classroom. I arrived moments after the bell rang, so I let myself in.

"Mum?"

"Have you read this?" I asked, ignoring Jonathan's question and slapping the paper on the desk a little more forcefully that I had intended.

Remus picked it up carefully.

"Mum, what are you doing here?"

"Get to class, Jonathan," I said without looking at him.

"But it's lunch; I don't have class."

"Then get to lunch."

"The last time I left you alone with him you locked yourself away for four weeks. So, if it's alright with you, I think I'll stay." Jonathan crossed his arms over his chest in defiance.

"It's not alright with me, Jonathan," I said turning towards him at last. "Please, I need you give us a minute. We'll be fine. Won't we, Remus?" I turned back to Remus.

He looked up from the paper, his eyebrows raised. "Yes. Listen to your mother, Jonathan."

Surprisingly that worked. Jonathan huffed his disapproval, but he still left. I closed the door behind him and placed a silencing charm on it so he couldn't stand outside and eavesdrop.

"We can't let them get away with this," I said, turning back to look at Remus. "We have to do something. We have to stop them."

"How?"

"I don't know. But we can't let them get away with this atrocity…this murder!"

"Murder? You mean like the murders he committed?"

"He…" I slapped my mouth shut, but Remus knew what I was about to say.

"You don't think he did it."

I bit my lip as tears threatened to spill and slowly shook my head. "Not all of it, no."

"Kate…"

"It's Katherine, Remus," I corrected. "I can accept…as difficult as it is, I can accept that he killed Peter and all those Muggles, but James?" I shook my head adamantly.

"He wouldn't have done that, Remus. He couldn't have done it. You have to know it wasn't all a ploy, some scheme crafted by the Black Family to prove their loyalty. You know he didn't have us all fooled the whole time. And the rumor that he switched sides in attempt to regain favor with his Mum is bullshit! He was no more a Black than I was a Dolohov. We were Potters, the lot of us, yourself included. You don't do that to family, Remus."

"I know, Kate…"

"Katherine, please."

"…but what proof do you have? How do you plan to argue his innocence? What evidence is there?"

"Nothing. I have nothing, Remus, but my own instinctual feeling that he didn't do it."

"Unfortunately that won't count for much with a ministry official."

I chocked on my sobs as tears leaked out. I covered my mouth as I tried to keep them back, but it was no use. I sat on the corner of Remus's desk as he came over and handed me a handkerchief.

"He…he came to see me, you know," I said between sobs. "After it happened…before he killed Peter, he came to see me. He's the one who…he's the one who told me James was dead.

"It was a day just like any other, until it wasn't. Jonathan was being his usual self; toys were flying everywhere and he was laughing up a storm. Then Sirius came barging through the front door, nearly knocking it off its hinges. His skin was ghostly pale, almost translucent. I was freaking out because he wasn't talking; you could hardly get the boy to stop yapping usually. Jonathan started crying. I don't know if it was because of the noise from the door, or because he suddenly wasn't getting the attention anymore."

I gave a little laugh as tears continued to flow.

"When I finally got him to talk, he told me they were dead. I didn't want to believe him; I couldn't. But his exact words were _'He betrayed them. He betrayed us all.'_ The he said _he_ was coming for me next, and that I had to leave. I…I didn't even have time to grieve. I just had to leave. I begged him to come with me, but he…he couldn't let James' murderer get away.

"Then he…he told me he loved me. He'd never said that before, you know. I…I think he knew. He knew that if things didn't go the way he'd planned them, then he was going to die, and he wanted to say his goodbye first. Now they're…they're going to give him The Kiss? That's worse than death, Remus. I…I can't picture him like that. We…we have to stop them. We have to fight them on this."

"I know it's an awful thought, Kate, but have you ever considered that perhaps _that_ was the ploy? Your father was already imprisoned, and Voldemort wanted James and Lily, not you. So Sirius handed them over, but when it came to you he…he couldn't bear to hurt you. So he gave you a story he knew you'd believe."

I didn't know what to say. Was he being for real? Did he really just suggest that? My tears stopped as I stared at him in confusion.

"No, Remus; I never considered that," I said at last. "And I still don't! That's rubbish!"

"He was their keeper."

"Voldemort found some other way then. He broke the charm somehow, or got around it somehow. Sirius would have died before giving James over to Voldemort!"

"Kate…"

I bit my lip.

"…there's no way around the Fidelius Charm. You know that. The information can't be forced out of the Keeper; they have to give it over willingly. I'm sorry, Kate, but I…"

"Stop! Just stop, Remus! Sirius didn't betray James like that, and it's Katherine now!"

Remus folded his arms in front of him. "What happened to you being a Potter?"

I clenched my jaw in furry. "I came to you because I thought you would understand. I remembered how sensible you used to be, and I thought you'd help me find a way to fight this. But if you can really sit there and be all right with them giving Sirius The Kiss, then… Then you're not the man I fell in love with."

I turned and fled the room.

 **XXX**

I was a wreck all day. Every time I thought of Sirius, I saw him as a lifeless shell. The thought of him never smiling, never laughing again made me physically ill.

I didn't regret what I said to Remus. He wasn't the same man I fell in love with, just as I wasn't the same girl he fell in love with. I didn't regret it, but I did feel guilty for saying it the way I did. That's why, after dinner I tried to go by his office to apologize. He wasn't there though. I guess I couldn't really expect him to be there after 7:30 anyway.

Not long after I left though, I ran into Harry.

"Professor Porter," he called. I looked behind me in time to see him stuff something that vaguely looked like a bit of parchment in his back pocket.

"Hello, Harry."

"I—uh—I was looking for you."

"Well, it looks like you found me."

"Yeah…" His eyes looked between me and the defense classroom. "Are you and Professor Lupin still fighting?"

"We, ah…I was a little harsh towards him earlier today. I came to apologize, but…he's not there…so, I guess I'll have to do it later. But… You said you were looking for me."

"What? Oh! Yeah! I…I had a question about my star chart and I was wondering if you could help me."

I smiled faintly. "Let me see it and I'll let you know if I can help or not."

"Oh—er—I don't have it on me."

I sighed.

"It's uh… It's in the History of Magic classroom. I left it there by accident. I was going to go get it and then come find you but…uh…since I found you first, you could just walk with me."

"Yeah…alright."

"So… er—while we've got a moment, I did have another question to ask you," Harry said as we began making our way through the castle.

"I am not going to answer any questions concerning Professor Lupin and myself."

"What?" He looked up at me puzzled.

"Sorry, I figured Jonathan asked you to find something out if you could."

"He did actually, but that was weeks ago and that's not what I was going to ask about."

"Oh? Well then what were you going to ask me?"

"I… well, it's about Hogsmeade actually."

"I see."

"I… I know you saw me there. You looked right at me in the Three Broomsticks."

"That I did," I agreed.

"Well, I was wondering…why…"

"Why I didn't report you to Professor McGonagall or demand that you return to the castle?" I finished for him.

"Yeah."

"Because Harry, I didn't sign your form not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't. I even went to Dumbledore afterwards to see if I could get special permission to sign it for you."

"You did? I didn't know that."

"Well I didn't see a point in telling you because he said no. I wanted you to be able to explore and enjoy Hogsmeade. I think everyone should. True, you could have always done it next year, but it wouldn't have been the same."

"Oh. Well…thank you."

"You're welcome. Did you enjoy it?"

"Oh yes! It was fantastic. Every…everyone else seems to think it's a bad idea that I be allowed to go though."

"Why do suppose that is?"

"Because of Sirius Black. He's…he's trying to kill me."

"That's a load of rubbish," I mistakenly let slip.

"You don't think it's true?"

"Why do you think it's true?"

"Because he killed my parents," he said quickly.

"Voldemort killed your parents, Harry."

"Yes, but he's the reason Voldemort knew how to find them."

I wasn't going to ask how he knew that. He was James' son and that was reason enough.

"No one really knows what happened that night, Harry, but I will say this. If Sirius Black really did want to kill a thirteen year old boy, there are a lot easier ways to go about it than trying to attack him while he's in a school surrounded by very capable fighting witches and wizards who would defend him."

"Have you given a lot of thought on how to kill a thirteen year old boy, Professor?"

My lips quirked into a smile. "Probably more than I should have."

Harry's eyes widened.

"An old group of school friends, they could be quite cumbersome at times."

Harry laughed as we stepped into the classroom, and it wasn't empty as I had expected it to be.

"There you are, Harry. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show tonight," Remus said. When he saw me, however, his smile faded and I stopped walking at the sight of him.

I looked around the room. The desks had all been pushed aside, save for one. On it sat a large trunk. Harry's school bag was not in sight. I sighed and looked at Harry.

"You don't have a question about your star chart, do you, Harry?"

"Er—no. Sorry," he said sheepishly. I turned to leave. "But I do want your help with something!"

I turned back around with a sigh and gave him my attention.

"Pro—Professor Lupin has been teaching me how to conjure a Patronus."

"Harry," Remus said with a sigh.

"Sorry, Professor. I know you wanted to keep it between us, but I trust Professor Porter."

Remus and I looked at each other.

"You've been teaching him the Patronus charm?" I asked.

"Yes," he said with a nod.

"Why am I not surprised?" I muttered.

"He's progressing quite well too."

"Well of course he is," I defended quickly. Then I turned towards Harry. "Why, Harry? It's dangerous."

"I know it is, Professor; you made that quite clear in your lesson," Harry said. "But I don't want a repeat of what happened during my last Quidditch match. I know you'd be there to defend me if need be, but I want...I need to be able to defend myself."

I had to look away and stare at a candle in an attempt to keep my tears back. It was hard to argue against a speech like that.

"So what do you want from me, Harry? You are in very capable hands with Professor Lupin. He's a great teacher."

"Yeah, he is," Harry agreed. "But so are you. And I thought…I hoped that you would agree to help me too. We've been at this six weeks now, and I still only have a shield."

"A very remarkable shield though, Harry," Remus said.

"Yes, but it still won't drive a Dementor away. Please, Ms. Porter, if there's anything you can add to Professor Lupin's teaching, I'll gladly take it."

Oh he was good, very good. He knew going back to our personal connection was always a weak spot for me. I couldn't refuse him, but I knew I couldn't step on Remus' toes either. So I looked to him for his permission to join. He sighed, knowing that if he contested, then he'd be the bad guy. He nodded and subtly gave his consent.

"Alright," I said as I moved into the room.

"Yeah?" Harry sounded surprised and I smiled.

"Yeah. I guess the first thing would be to see your Patronus. I need to know what I'm working with. What's in the trunk? A boggart?"

"Yes," Remus replied. "Safer than an actual Dementor, but just as effective."

"Alright, well let's get to it then."

I pulled out my wand and stood back, giving Harry the space he needed. Remus stood on the other side of the room behind the trunk.

"Are you ready, Harry?" he asked.

Harry shook out his arms and nodded. "Yeah, go on."

Remus lifted the lid and a moment later the perfect replica of a Dementor floated out and drifted towards Harry. Harry raised his wand, and with the incantation created a beautiful shield Patronus. The boggart tried to get through but failed. I slowly approached Harry from behind. He was holding the shield steady, but I could see his struggle to make it corporal. I could feel the heat radiating off his shield and I knew he had the power; he just needed a bit of perspective.

I brought forth my own twisted Patronus that chased the boggart back to the trunk before it had time to change. Remus locked it up and Harry took a seat, panting slightly. Remus pulled out a bar of chocolate and broke off a large chunk for Harry.

"That was good, Harry," I said. "Very strong, very steady."

"But what can I do to make it better?" he asked.

"Do you know why I had to learn to conjure a Patronus, Harry? Because it was a matter of life and death."

"Kate—" Remus began; I shot him a deadly look. "—ther-rine," he finished.

Harry looked between the two of us curiously. "What…what happened?"

"I was seventeen, Harry, and I was faced with my own death. I knew it was only a matter of time. It wasn't a matter of _if_ he'd kill me, but _when_."

"Are you sure you want to get into this now?" Remus warned.

"No," I replied honestly. "But if Harry really wants this Patronus, then he needs to know what I know."

There was a pause before Harry spoke. "Who wanted to kill you, Ms. Porter?"

"That's…that's beside the point. The point is, I knew I needed my Patronus to survive. I wasn't ready to die. There was still so much I hadn't done that I wanted to do. So many things I still wanted to say. Do you remember the part of my lesson, where I said the Patronus was unique to the caster? No two are alike."

"Yeah."

"Well I knew, that if I could just conjure a corporal Patronus and send it to my family, then they would know what it was. They would know it was from me, and they'd find a way to get to me. I thought it was my only chance. I was only partially wrong in that thought, but that's another story for another time perhaps.

"I tried for weeks to get a corporal Patronus. I focused on every happy thought, every happy moment I could muster, and under the circumstance I was in, that grew harder and harder with each day. All I could manage were whiffs of white smoke or a small shield, not even as strong as yours just now."

"So what happened? What changed? How did you manage to get make it corporal?" Harry asked, earnestly intrigued.

"I changed, Harry. I changed my perspective. I was so focused on trying to find the perfect happy memory that I missed the underlying cause of all of them. I missed the one emotion that linked all of them together."

"What's that?"

"Love, Harry. I was missing the love, but when I found it, everything changed."

"How…how did you do that?"

"For me it was a boy, a very special boy that I would have given anything to be with. I thought of him. I thought of telling him that I loved him, and I imagined how it would feel to hear him say those words back to me. I imagined what our future could have been like together. I imagined myself marrying him, raising a family with him…growing old with him." I swiped at a few tears and avoided making eye contact with Remus.

"But, Ms. Porter, I don't love anyone like that," Harry said, sounding a little disappointed.

"Not yet, surely. We'd be having quite a different conversation if you said you did."

He smiled.

"It doesn't have to be a romantic love, Harry. Over the years it has changed. Love for my family, for my friends, for Jonathan. They are all very different forms of the same emotion. Tell me, what do you hear when a Dementor attacks?"

"I hear my parents dying," he said softly.

"Specifically, Harry, what do you hear?"

"I…" He hesitated before going on. "I hear my dad first. He tells my mum to take me and run. He says 'It's him. Go! Run! I'll hold him off.' But he dies before he can get a spell cast. Then it's Voldemort and my Mum. She begs him not to kill me. He tells her to stand aside, but she doesn't. So he kills her."

He looked up and he almost looked angry that I made him say that out loud.

"Use them, Harry. Use the anger you feel over their deaths, over what he did to them, use it to fuel your love for them. Take their voices and give them life again.

"Let's try it again, this time without the boggart," I said as I approached him. "Close your eyes for me, Harry. Now imagine your parents. Envision your mother, Lily, tall, pretty, beautiful green eyes that showed her every emotion, hair that was like fire especially when he was angry."

I looked up and met Remus' eyes. I motioned him over to continue.

"Now, your father, Harry," he said. "James. He looked a lot like you. His hair was always an untidy mess because he kept it that way; if it became too neat he'd rough it up. His glasses were always falling off his face because he was constantly running from Filch or McGonagall. He was always up to something, and his smile showed it."

Remus' voice cracked a little and I could feel the tears slowly slip down my face.

"Now feel them, Harry. Feel them with you. Feel their great love…for their friends…for each other…but most of all for you. Let it consume you until there's nothing left and all that remains is their love."

I paused a moment before whispering, "Call on your Patronus."

"Expecto patronum," he whispered softly.

A silver stream of light burst from the tip of his wand and took shape. I took several steps back to give it room and admired it. The moment I saw it, I knew it could have been nothing else and I was overcome with emotion.

"Open your eyes, Harry," Remus instructed.

Harry did so but he caught only a quick glance before it faded away. "What was that?" he asked.

"It was a stag, Harry," I replied with a tight throat as I fought to keep from crying.

"Why did it fade so soon?"

"Because you lost concentration, but don't worry, Harry. You did it. He'll be back when you have need of him."

"Thanks, Ms. Porter. Thank you both. I couldn't have done it without either one of you."

I nodded. "Now, if you'll excuse me, Harry. I must be going."

I didn't stick around any longer than necessary. Harry's Patronus looked just like James' stag.


	20. Unravelling

**So, I feel like the next two chapters need to be posted close together...you'll see why. So here you go, chapter 19. On Friday you'll get chapter 20.**

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

 **Unravelling…**

Saturday was a whirlwind of excitement. To begin the day, it was the Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw to see who would face Slytherin for the cup. Harry caught the snitch and won the match despite the attempted distraction by a few members of the Slytherin team. A couple of them had walked on to the field in oversized cloaks pretending to be Dementors. Harry's Patronus knocked them off their feet, literally.

That night saw a different kind of excitement. Sirius had broken into the castle again, and this time he managed to get into Gryffindor Tower. Ron had woken with quite a fright to find Sirius standing over him with a knife. The whole castle was searched again, I even tried the Room of Requirement, but he wasn't found.

"Do you still think him innocent?" Remus asked me quietly after we reported our lack of findings to the Headmaster.

I looked at Remus, but said nothing as my eyes filled with tears. I wanted to believe Sirius was innocent; I wanted to believe that there was no way he would have betrayed James, but his actions weren't helping his case. I walked away from Remus without a word.

Apart from his snide comment after Sirius' break in, Remus and I remained on non-speaking terms. I figured he would let me know when he was ready to talk about what happened between us. Until then I'd wait it out.

It was misery. Nothing happened for two weeks. Nothing. Then finally, on Friday I received an owl from him. It was simple and to the point.

 _I think it's time_

 _Saturday. My office._

 _11:00_

I was at breakfast that morning when the letter arrived. I looked down the table and caught his eye. I gave him a solitary nod to let him know I'd be there, and he quickly diverted his eyes afterwards.

Saturday was a Hogsmeade day so the students would be gone. More importantly, Jonathan would be gone.

 _ **26 February 1994**_

I stood just outside Remus' office on Saturday morning at 10:59. I watched from the courtyard as Jonathan walked with the twins and Lee towards Hogsmeade, then I went to his office. I knew Remus was already inside; I could hear the sonophone playing. It was a Chimera song, but I didn't recognize it. I heard the distant strike of the clock tower and knew it was time. I took a deep breath before stepping around the corner and tapping lightly on the door. Remus looked up at me. With a flick of his wrist the music stopped.

"Tea?" he asked, waving me in.

"I wouldn't say no to something stronger if you have it."

He simply raised his eyebrows in a disapproving manner. He never was much of a drinker. I wasn't either usually, but sometimes a little kick was needed.

"Tea will be fine," I said. "Strong. And…"

"Black. I remember." He tapped his wand to his kettle and it started steaming. We each fixed our cups and took a sip before sitting in an awkward silence.

"So… you want to talk about what happened?" I said slowly.

"No. I know what happened."

 _Really? Then maybe you can tell me because I'm still not sure where it all went wrong._

"I want to know how it got to this." He waved his hand in my direction. "How did it get to the point where you don't recognize your own name?"

"I recognize my name just fine. It's simply a name you're not familiar with," I bit back before sighing.

I closed my eyes, and with a shaky breath I slowly let the illusion fall away. I know it's not true, but I could almost feel the scars as they etched over my skin. When I opened my eyes again it was to find him watching me with a sort of morbid fascination. He leaned back in his chair with a sigh.

"There was a small… fragment of me that hoped I was wrong, that this… that you weren't really… but this… this solidifies it, doesn't it."

I nodded, though it was unnecessary. "If there's anything you want to know, Remus, just ask."

"There's a lot I wish to know. But I guess mainly, right now, I just want to know how? Why?"

"Well, the how is actually quite simple. McGonagall described it as an 'exceptional talent for transfiguration.' Lift the cheek bone a little, tweak the nose…"

As I spoke I applied the enchantment. "A few minor adjustments here and there. As far as the scars are concerned, a simple but strong illusion charm hides them even from me. I can't change pigmentation so the eyes stay the same. The Muggles have these colored lenses, contacts they call them. I tried them once, but they just irritated my eyes too much."

"What about your hair? It's lighter than it was in school."

"Yours is a bit lighter too," I teased but he didn't smile. "A hair coloring solution, bought in a box from a Muggle store, and sealed with a charm to make it last. I've experimented with it over the years a bit. It's been lighter or darker depending on what I was feeling at the moment."

"And you said Jonathan doesn't know about this…illusion?"

I bit my lip to hold the tears back as I shook my head.

"He's never met Kate. Well…he has, but he was too young to remember her. When he got to the age where he started retaining memories, I made a choice. And I chose Katherine."

"Why"

"Because…" I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. "It was easier… It was easier to pretend that I was happy… that I'd be all right. It was easier than waking up every morning, looking in the mirror, and being reminded of everything I'd lost. Katherine was strong. And the longer I pretended I really was Katherine, then the stronger I actually felt."

There was a moment of silence, in which I wiped the tears from my eyes. I was sure there was more to come, however. We were just getting started.

Finally Remus asked, sounding as though it was hard for him to do so, "Why did you create the illusion in the first place?"

"Because… it was necessary," I said. I took a deep breath before continuing.

"After I left…our place, I went to James and Lily's. I stayed with them for a bit, in their spare room. But they were newlyweds…and they were happy…and it hurt too much to be near them for long. I was happy for them. God! I was so happy for them, and Merlin knows they deserved it. After everything James went through to get her and after everything Lily had to put up with, they deserved their happiness. But, I… I wanted what they had, and I was slowly…very slowly, beginning to realize that I wasn't going to have it. Not with you at least, and it if wasn't with you…I didn't want it.

"So… after about two months of living with them, I decided it was time to move out. But James didn't want to let me go."

"Why not?" he asked.

 _ **April 1979**_

 _"Oi! Wormtail, help Kate with the plates!"_

 _I rolled my eyes as I headed towards the cupboard. "I can handle a few plates, James. How many times do I have to tell you, I'm pregnant not an invalid."_

 _"Eh—you know James, Kate," Peter said as he followed me. "He's never going to change. It's best to just go with it sometimes. Here, you grab the plates, and I'll pretend I'm helping."_

 _Peter smiled and I couldn't help but smile a bit too. I pulled the plates from the cupboard and handed them to Peter. I was reaching for the last plate when I suddenly grabbed my belly and called out in shock._

 _"Oh!"_

 _"Kate?" Peter quickly levitated the plates to attend to me._

 _"I'm all right. He's just kicking 's all."_

 _"He?"_

 _"Or she I suppose. I don't really know. One thing is for certain, however; they're excited at the prospect of food."_

 _"Who wouldn't be?" Peter quipped, making me laugh lightly._

 _I looked up at him. "Do you want to feel?"_

 _"What?"_

 _"The baby kicking, do you want to feel it?"_

 _"Er—I—uh…"_

 _I grabbed his hand and placed it on my swollen abdomen. The baby gave a particularly strong kick and Peter grimaced and laughed nervously._

 _"He likes you," I said._

 _"Doesn't that hurt?"_

 _"Well…it's not exactly comfortable, but I wouldn't say it hurts. Any discomfort is over ridden by the joy of knowing that I am creating a precious child inside me."_

 _"Oi! Where are those plates? I'm hungry," Sirius said as he came in the room._

 _"Really, Black? You're hungry?" I asked._

 _"Famished actually. I don't know what it is, but it feels like I've been eating for two lately. You know, I think it may be sympathy eating." He gave a cheesy grin._

 _"Cute, Black."_

 _"I think the word you're looking for there is 'devastatingly handsome.'"_

 _"That's two words," Peter pointed out._

 _Sirius ignored him however as he threw his arm around my neck and tugged me towards the table, leaving Peter to carry the plates alone._

 _We sat down to dinner as we usually did. I was between Sirius and James and across from Lily. Conversation carried on easily. We didn't talk about the war going on outside, and whenever someone came close to doing so, James made a quick shushing noise while his eyes flashed between me and whoever had said it._

 _After dinner we moved into the lounge. As the night drew on, I withdrew into myself more. To be honest, I never really said much these days. I never laughed much, never smiled much. The moment by the plate cupboard had been a rare one. I was always aware of the missing body in the room. James, Sirius, and even Peter all tried to distract me from it, but the emptiness was always there. It didn't help matters that every time I looked at James and Lily I was reminded of what I was missing. Unfortunately as the night drew on, and I drew in,_ _ **they**_ _drew closer. Until, eventually, it was too much._

 _"I think it's time I move out," I blurted suddenly, cutting over whatever Sirius had been saying. The room fell silent as everyone looked my way._

 _"Sorry, Sirius, I didn't mean to…"_

 _"It's alright, Kate. I was finished anyway."_

 _I didn't think that was true, but I knew it was futile to argue. I looked towards James and Lily, James was tight lipped, but Lily smiled sympathetically._

 _"You don't have to go anywhere, Kate," she said._

 _"I know I don't have to leave, but I think I need to leave. I love you guys, so much…" I fought against tears which had suddenly appeared. Bloody hormones. "But I… I don't want to be a burden anymore."_

 _"You're not a burden, Kate. We love having you here."_

 _"Yes, I know, but…" How could I possibly tell them that their happiness caused me pain?_

 _"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be on your own, Kate," James said at last._

 _"James," I began with a sigh but he seemed to know what I was going to say._

 _"It has nothing to do with the fact that you're five months pregnant."_

 _I shot a look at him that said otherwise._

 _"Ok, maybe a little then… still, I don't think you should leave. It's…. it's not…safe out there."_

 _"Wars aren't known for their safety, James."_

 _"He means—ugh…" Peter was cut off by an invisible blow to the stomach cast by Sirius._

 _"He means what?" I asked, turning to James._

 _"Nothing," he said shaking his head._

 _"Come on, James; you can't keep her out of this war indefinitely, and she's stronger than you think," Peter argued in a manner that was very uncharacteristic of him._

 _Sirius sighed. "I hate to say it, Prongs, but I agree with Pete. I think she needs to know."_

 _Lily took hold of James' hand in support and nodded her consent. James sighed; the argument had been lost._

 _"We have reason to believe that there is a spy in the Order," Lily said._

 _"A spy?" I asked._

 _She nodded. "Certain information has been slipped to the Death Eaters."_

 _"Information about me?" A slow panic began to rise in me. If my Father found out I had conceived a child with a werewolf, he'd stop at nothing to kill me and my unborn child._

 _"No," Lily said quickly. "No one knows about your pregnancy but the four of us._

 _"Then what does a spy have to do with my safety?"_

 _There was a tense silence before Peter spoke up._

 _"We think it's Moony."_

 _"You think… What? Remus?_ _ **Our**_ _Remus?"_

 _"Do you know any other Moony?" Peter asked but immediately looked like he regretted it._

 _"No. No, you're wrong. Remus wouldn't…"_

 _"Kate…"_

 _"Why? What possible reason could you have to think it was Remus?"_

 _"He got you pregnant and then left you!" James said angrily._

 _"I. Left. Him," I said, enunciating each word carefully. "And he didn't **get** me pregnant, James… Maliciously," I added. "I was an active and a very willing participant in the matter."_

 _I was struggling to breath and I felt a bad case of heartburn coming on, so I pushed myself off the couch and began to pace._

 _"He… he's not it," I insisted. "He's not the spy. He can't be. I won't believe it. No. I won't. And there's nothing…_ _ **Nothing**_ _you can say to me that will convince me otherwise."_

 _"Why do you defend him, Kate?!" James nearly yelled as he stood and walked to the other side of the room. "Why? After all the grief he's caused you, do you still defend him?"_

 _"Because I lo…" I choked on my words with a great tearful sob. "I love… him, James. I love him, and that won't ever change. And I know… I know he still loves me… somewhere… He couldn't be the spy."_

 _"May…maybe he's under the Imperious Curse?" Peter suggested._

 _I couldn't keep my emotions back anymore; my tears burst forth like a breaking dam. Sirius, being the closest to me, leapt from his seat and cradled me to his chest. I clung tightly to his robes. It felt like my world was slowly unravelling at the seams._

* * *

 **Another sad finish, I know. I'm sorry. The conclusion of Katherine and Remus' "talk" will be available on Friday.**


	21. The Illusion

**And now, the "Talk" conclusion...**

* * *

 **…The Illusion**

 _ **26 February 1994**_

"They thought it was me," Remus said.

I nodded through my tears. "You… didn't make it to the weekly dinners. You stopped going to the Order meetings."

"I didn't think I'd be welcome at the dinners. And I didn't go to the meetings because…" He sighed. "I was hurting as well, Kate, and I knew seeing you at the meetings would have been too painful. So I gave you the space I thought you wanted."

"I didn't want space, Remus. I wanted you. And I didn't go to the meetings either; James wouldn't let me once he knew I was pregnant."

We were silent and I took the time to wipe away more tears. Remus was the one to break the silence.

"So, you eventually convinced James to let you move out, I presume."

I shook my head. "No. Sirius did."

Remus' eyes shot open wide.

"He suggested the Fidelius Charm. He convinced James to let me move into my own place as long as I lived under the protection of the charm. James agreed, however, reluctantly. I made him keeper and he gave the secret to Lily, Sirius, and Peter. They were the only ones who knew where I lived. It was a small flat surrounded by Muggles, on Rockwell Lane."

"Rockwell Lane?" Remus said in alarm and I nodded.

"The building Sirius supposedly blasted a hole in when he killed those Muggles."

"Kate…"

"I know what you're thinking, Remus, but please, don't say it."

Remus pressed his mouth into a firm line and allowed me to continue.

"I was never alone. After I moved out, James saw to it that at least one of them was always with me. It was Peter more often than not. They all made frequent appearances; our weekly dinners together continued at my flat, but Peter was the predominant visitor. And Peter was there when the first attack happened."

"Attack? What kind of attack?"

"Not from Death Eaters," I said quickly to relieve the bit of worry I detected in his voice.

"It was a panic attack," I explained. "The claustrophobia isn't just a story I made up for Jonathan. It is a very real affliction. Jonathan doesn't know the full extent of it, only that it's why I have to sleep under an illusion of stars every night.

"The Fidelius Charm was the first time since… the kidnapping… that I'd been truly confined. I was fine the first few weeks; there was a lot to do to keep my mind occupied, like setting up Jonathan's room. I painted it the Muggle way, and they all helped. They all contributed their own personal touch. Lily painted a Muggle children's story. Sirius left a trail of paw prints that moved around the room randomly. And James left a couple of castle secrets on the wall, but he charmed them to remain invisible unless given the proper incantation. Peter… I… I can't remember what Peter left, but I'm sure it was something; they all did something."

I trailed off; I was digressing, but Remus didn't seem to mind too much. He smiled fondly.

"But the attack… After a few weeks this feeling, this... pressure started seeping in. I tried to ignore it; I tried to push it aside, but it just kept growing. Peter was there when I reached a breaking point. It's like…I don't know. It's like I just cracked all of a sudden.

"I couldn't breathe. Every gasp of air left me empty. It felt like the oxygen was being sucked out of me. I was suffocating. Then the walls… It felt like they were crashing down around me, burning me as they fell. I swear, it was like being back in that basement...

"I…I didn't know what to do. I tried escaping. I was banging on the door trying to break it down, but it wouldn't budge. Peter was freaking out, calling my name over and over… but I just…"

I swiped at my tears. Talking about the attack was arousing similar feelings, but I had to continue.

"Peter finally just opened the door and I ran. I had to get out of there. Peter followed after me, and found me a block away sitting on the grass and looking at the stars. I remember… it was a full moon that night. I know you've always despised the moon, but I wish you could have seen it the way I did that night. It was so beautiful and…it gave me life," I choked out.

"When Peter found me he sat down beside me, and I just cried on his shoulder. For a good, long while I just cried. Then he helped me back to my flat and made me a cup of strong, black tea. I asked him not to tell James or the others. I didn't want them to think that I couldn't be left alone. I didn't want James to try and make me return to his place. I needed my own place, and yet being trapped by the charm was suffocating. So I told Pete to make it our little secret. And do you know what he said?"

"'I'd do anything for you, Kate,'" Remus replied.

"Exactly." I nodded. "I was fine again after that… for a while, but then I could feel that feeling starting to creep back in. I told Peter that I needed to go out again. He argued against it. He said it was too risky, that we couldn't ever do it again. But I told him that if he didn't take me out, then I'd have to go out alone, and that would have been even more dangerous. So he agreed. It was a short walk at twilight, but it worked. The feeling subsided again…and then it came back.

"It became a routine for us, sneaking out when it was just the two of us. Pete said if it was going to be a habit then we needed to take certain precautions. So I told him to find me a disguise. He came back with this atrocious wig. It was a yellowish-orange, curly, and it stuck out to here." I held up my hands on either side of my head and laughed despite myself. "I mean, it really was awful. But I used it to appease him. Then the next time he came with his own disguise.

"And so on it went. Whenever I was out with him I'd either use the name Stephanie or we'd come up with other names. This one time I gave the server the name Sony, and Peter said he was Cher. She looked at us like we were mental and belonged in the Loony bin at St. Mungo's." I laughed; Remus smiled.

"Our trips stopped once Jonathan was born. With a newborn there wasn't much time for anything else but caring for him. Peter continued to come by just as frequently; some nights I don't think he left. You should have seen him trying to change a dirty nappy. It was clear he had no idea what he was doing, but he insisted. I can't even begin to tell you how many golden showers Jonathan gave him."

Remus chuckled for the first time since I began talking. It was a nice, light moment. I knew it wouldn't last.

"Then the war took a turn for the worst." My tears began anew. "Edgar Bones and his wife were dead, as was Marlene, Janice, Ruth…. And… the Prewitts." I choked on my sobs at the thought of the Prewitt brothers.

"Dead! Thanks to my Father no less!"

"Their death is not your fault, Kate."

"I know," I cried. "Logically, I know that. But I still saved him, didn't I? I still pulled him from the fire. How many people did he go on to kill after that? How many lives were destroyed because I decided to save his?"

"You can't go on blaming yourself like that. You can't hold all that guilt on your shoulders. You…"

"We're here about Katherine, aren't we? I still haven't told you how she came to be."

Remus sat back in his chair with a tight lip frown.

"So… after the Prewitt brothers…died, I told James and the others that they shouldn't come by to see me as often. I told them that they needed to focus on the war so they could end it. I know it wasn't easy, for any of them, but they listened. Even Peter didn't seem to come by as much. The panic attacks still came however.

"So I started experimenting. I discovered that I could transfigure a few facial features, and I could illusion the scars away. And I bought my own wigs so I could leave."

"You left the protection of the Fidelius Charm, alone, during the height of the war?" he asked.

I nodded. "I wasn't alone, though. I took Jonathan; I obviously couldn't leave him behind. He wasn't even a year old yet."

"He was a baby, Kate! You had to know how risky it was to leave."

"It was more than risky, Remus. It was potentially catastrophic if I was discovered, not just for me but for Jonathan too. Not to mention it was a complete betrayal of James' trust. I knew this, and yet living with the betrayal was easier than facing the suffocation that awaited me if I stayed inside. You've no idea what those panic attacks were like. I could have died from hyperventilation, or worse. I could have accidentally hurt Jonathan. I had to risk leaving.

"I started using the name Katherine when I went out. I never told the others what I was doing, not even Peter. It became a habit to use Katherine whenever I was out in public. When James and Lily went into hiding I saw even less of Sirius and Peter. They were too busy fighting the war.

"When Sirius showed up and told me James and Lily were dead and that I had to leave, I didn't think twice about applying my disguise and giving the innkeeper the name Katherine. I don't know where I got the name Porter from, it was just there. I didn't know what was going on with the war. I went from one Muggle village to the next. All I knew was that my flat no longer existed.

"Then Dumbledore's Patronus found me and told me about the memorial for James and Lily. I attended but as Katherine, not Kate; I left Jonathan with the inn keeper. I found Dumbledore afterwards and showed him who I was. It was only then that I learned Peter was dead, Sirius had been carted off to Azkaban without a trial, and that Harry was indeed alive but living with the Dursleys. I told Dumbledore that I could take Harry as soon as I found a place, but he said… he said that Harry needed to stay with a blood relation to Lily.

"I was distraught. I argued with Dumbledore until my voice was hoarse, but he wouldn't budge on the matter. He said I was welcome to stay in Harry's life as an aunt, but that I couldn't be his legal caretaker. I knew the Dursleys would know Kate Potter as a witch and they'd never let me near Harry. Voldemort had fallen, but many of his Death Eaters, were still at large. So I remained as Katherine Porter, and I moved in the vacant house across the street from the Boy Who Lived.

"And everything was fine. The illusion held up, and everything was fine. Until you showed up to teach this year. Then things began to unravel. I fought to maintain it. I tried to keep you at a distance, but like always I felt myself being drawn to you. I couldn't keep away. I know I should have told you sooner, but I thought… I thought I could manage it. And I… I was scared. I thought if… I thought if I told you then…"

"You thought I'd walk away," he said in a pained voice.

I nodded shamefully. "But it wouldn't have just been me you were walking away from this time."

"Jonathan," he whispered.

"I couldn't do that to him. So I kept the truth from you. I never intended for things to happen between us the way they did. I never thought I'd allow myself to fall for you again. But I was helpless against your charms; I always was."

"I've never thought of myself as charming."

"And that's what gets me, I think."

There was a moment of silence. I wiped away the last of my tears, and finished my tea, which was surprisingly still warm. Remus looked reflective. Clearly he was taking the much needed moment to process everything I just told him. I knew it was a lot; it was fourteen years' worth of information.

"So… I suppose that's everything then," I said.

"No. There is one more thing we need to discuss."

I knew what he was going to say before he said it, and my stomach dropped.

"We need to talk about Jonathan."

A fresh wave of new tears threatened to spill and I had to fight them off. Before anything else could be said however, the flames in the fireplace turned green. Snape's voice floated through the room.

"Lupin, I need a word with you."

Remus and I just stared at one another. This was an all too familiar situation. With a great sigh, Remus turned towards the flames. Just when I thought things were going to play out as they always did, Remus did the unexpected.

"I'm in the middle of something rather important, Severus. It will have to wait until later." Remus returned to his seat, expecting that to be the end of it, but Snape was persistent.

"Now, Lupin! This cannot wait," the voice of Snape hissed through the flames.

I was angry on Remus' behalf. And I knew this far from the full moon he was too kind-hearted to demand the respect he deserved. So I'd do it for him. I sprung from my seat, grabbed his floo powder, and spiraled to Snape's office before Remus would stop me.

"What the hell, Snape! Who do you think you are? He said he was busy and that he'd get back with you later!" I took a deep breath before realizing my mistake. "Hi, Harry."

"Professor," Harry replied cautiously, whether from my tirade against Snape or simply because he was being interrogated by Snape. I'm not certain.

"I should have known it was you that had Lupin tied up," Snape sneered as he stepped towards me. I had to hold the leopard back to keep her from pouncing. Fortunately, Remus arrived just in time.

"So the pet arrives at last."

Remus placed a hand on my forearm to keep me back. Typically, I'm not a very confrontational person. However, it had been a very emotional afternoon with Remus. And I knew "my time" was approaching so my hormones were a bit haywire at the moment. Not to mention the situation involved persons I cared a great deal about.

"How can we help you, Severus?" Remus asked in a tired manner.

Snape paused a moment. "It seems Mr. Potter's head was spotted in Hogsmeade this afternoon…"

"His head's not detachable, Snape," I said bitingly.

"…So," he continued with a growl. "I asked him to turn out his pockets and this is what I found. A Zonko's bag and this."

He handed Remus a bit of parchment. It wasn't just any parchment, however; it was _the_ map. And yet…it wasn't. Remus paled slightly as he looked at it, but I couldn't stop my small smirk.

 _Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business._

 _Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git._

 _Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor._

 _Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball._

"Well… Mr. Moony seems a bit polite. Would you agree, Remus?" I asked.

Remus was clearly not amused.

"Clearly it's full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin."

I laughed loudly. "Dark Magic, really, Severus? Just because it says something you don't like?"

Remus flashed me a warning glare which I ignored. Snape grunted.

"I agree with Professor Porter," Remus said at last. Snape's eyes narrowed into thin slits. "In that I hardly think there is any Dark Magic involved in this. It merely looks like a bit of parchment designed to insult anyone who tries to read it. I suspect it's a Zonko's product."

"You don't think it's more likely that he got this directly from the manufacturers?" Snape said as his eyes flashed over to me.

"You mean from Mr. Wormtail or one of these people? Harry, do you know any of these gentlemen?" Remus asked. Snape huffed at 'gentlemen.'

"No!" Harry said quickly.

"There you have it, Severus."

At that moment, Ron rushed in. He was panting for breath and clutching at what appeared to be a stitch in his side.

"I…bought that…stuff from Zonko's… Gave it…to Harry…ages ago…"

"That settles it then. A good day to you, Severus. Harry, Ron, come with me. I need a word about that Vampire essay. Professor Porter, if you please."

The four of us left Snape's office quickly. I grabbed Harry's Zonko bag and Remus still had possession of the map. We briskly began walking back to the Entrance Hall; Remus was still upset. I tried to lighten the mood.

"Nice timing, Ronald; though, a moment sooner would have been just as nice."

Remus wasn't having it though, and he turned his anger on me.

"You shouldn't incite Snape like that," he said in a low, dangerous voice.

"I'm not afraid of Severus Snape," I bit back. "If I can face off with my Father and live to tell the tale, then I sure as hell can handle my own against Snape."

Remus turned on me quickly in the hall. "Barely. Barely survived your Father, or do I need to remind you exactly what went down."

I grit my teeth. "Careful, Remus, or one might mistake your words for someone who still cares."

We were locked in an intense stare down.

"Not so fast you two," he said, hand out to stop Harry and Ron from slipping away. Then he held up the map to me. "Did you know about this?"

I looked down my nose at the now blank parchment.

"You mean the bit of parchment from Zonko's?"

Remus' glare was cold and firm, but I wasn't backing down either. "It's a map," he said. "A very detailed map of Hogwarts."

"Sounds ruddy brilliant to me. Those Mrs. Padfoot and Prongs must have been quite the geniuses."

Remus' glare before held nothing on the one he had now. I knew I'd really mucked up. I cursed the Potter temper. Remus then turned his attention to Harry and Ron.

"Professor, I…"

"I don't want explanations, Harry," Remus said. "Yes I know this is a map. And I am astounded you didn't hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around."

His eyes flashed to Ron. Sirius had managed to break into the Gryffindor Tower because Neville had left the passwords lying around.

"I won't cover up for you again, Harry," Remus said a little calmer than before. "I cannot make you take threat of Black seriously, but I would have thought that what you heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them—gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks."

Remus turned back to me. The look he had for me made me feel like the scolded child.

"Now, Professor Porter, about that other matter we needed to discuss…"

"Later, Remus. I'm too emotionally drained at the moment."

"My thoughts precisely."

He turned and stalked off, leaving me alone with Harry and Ron.

"I'd appreciate it, boys, if you didn't mention this incident to Jonathan."

"Sure thing, Professor Porter," Ron said.

I gave a weak smile and handed Harry his bag. Then I made my way out the front doors. I really felt the need for a strong ale.

* * *

 **So if you're a bit confused about the incident in Snape's office, then it might have escaped your attention that this story is more in line with the book than the movie. (All except for an incident that will occur a few chapters later with a certain Wolf.)**

 **So there we have it. The reason Katherine exists, the reason Kate took a back seat. I hope it all makes sense to you. If you have questions, please ask and I will try to explain it better.**

 **I know some people really hate Peter, but I think it's important to remember that he was one of James' Best Friends. The things he did for Kate in this chapter I hope really show that; he was there for her when no one else was. She trusted him to keep her safe, in and out of the house. He stepped up and took on the role Remus should have, changing nappies (or diapers for us Americans), watching Jonathan so Kate could sleep. It's the little things that made him such an essential friend to Kate.**


	22. A Grave Conversation

**So I'm a little busy tomorrow, taking the hubby to the Dr. and watching the new Power Rangers movie...yeah, I said it. So you get your Friday update today.**

 **In the last chapter, I adamantly defended Peter, and I still do. But, as with any villain...it's also important to show their decent into evil. ;)**

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter! The beginning is dark...quite dark actually...but please, bear with me. Brighter days are coming (eventually).**

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

 **A Grave Conversation**

 _ **September 1979**_

 _Remus awoke to a pounding in his head. He reached for the bottle on the table and tilted it against his lips. Empty. So he threw the bottle across the room where it clanged and clashed with the other empty bottles, and Remus grimaced against the pain the harsh sound caused._

 _He had never been much for firewhisky, but fellow Lycanthrope William had suggested it to cure a heartache when Remus had scoffed at his original suggestion to simply find another bird to bed. Still, Remus never drank enough of it to get pissed…well…not since that first week. He only took enough to be numb. It was the only relief he could find._

 _Remus stumbled into the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards for another bottle. He knew he had one; he couldn't have finished them all yet._

 _Ah!_

 _He pulled the bottle out at last and took a swig. And then another…. Until he found the release he was looking for. The burn on his throat was a welcomed friend._

 _Suddenly the pounding in his head was back with a vengeance. Remus put the bottle back to his lips and was about to take another sip when someone called out form the other side of the front door._

 _"I know you're in there, Moony! I can hear you! Open up!"_

 _Remus stared stared between the door and the bottle in confusion before taking the swig anyways and stumbling over to the door. When he opened it he found a very wet, mousy man on the outside. Remus was even more confused._

 _"Peter?"_

 _"Do you mind letting me in, Mate? It's a bloody typhoon out here."_

 _Remus stepped aside allowing the passage of his old school friend, but he continued to watch him in confusion. Peter carefully navigated around the empty liquor bottles and the piles of dirty clothes, much of which appeared to be splattered with stains of various sizes. Peter wondered for a moment if the stains were blood or vomit, but then he decided he'd rather not know._

 _"Whatareyou doin' here, Pete?" Remus asked, bottle still in hand._

 _"It's nice to see you too, Mate. Oh, me? I'm well; thanks for asking. How are you?" Peter responded while he siphoned the rain off his cloak as best he could. He only looked up at Remus at the end. What he saw surprised him._

 _Remus' normally well-groomed hair was now shaggy and in complete disarray that could have rivaled that of James Potters'; the ends of it were sticking in all directions. His face had the makings of a scruffy, wiry beard, and his half closed eyes looked dangerously bloodshot. His shirt was miss-buttoned, crumpled, and tucked in on only one side with dark stains running down the sleeve. And his worn pants hung loosely on his bony waist._

 _"Bloody hell, Remus! You look like… well, bloody hell."_

 _"You're a charmmmer, you are," Remus replied as he stumbled back to the couch. Peter noticed his crooked sway._

 _"Are you pissed? Already? It's not noon yet."_

 _"Nah pissed…" Remus slurred before taking yet another swig. "Numb. Why you here?"_

 _"A bloke can't visit his mate?"_

 _Remus' face held a confused and dazed look; he was beginning to lose the ability to focus on a single point, and he looked a little cross-eyed at Peter._

 _"You haven't been around in a while," Peter said with a sigh. "I thought I'd see how you're doing. You're a hard bloke to find, you know. Had to ask Dumbledore where you were staying these days."_

 _"I didn' think I be welcomed no more. Na-after…" Remus' voice tailed off as his face paled even more. He took an extra-long swig from the bottle._

 _"How's…how's every one?" Remus asked hesitantly._

 _"They're, all right…considering."_

 _"Considerin'?"_

 _"James isn't your biggest fan at the moment, and Sirius is… Well Sirius is... serious for a change. Lilly's doing well; nothing gets in her way."_

 _Remus noticed Peter had left out one particular name, for which Remus was glad. Remus didn't want to ask. He didn't want to know about_ _ **her**_ _; he didn't want to even_ _ **think**_ _about her. He'd tried so hard to avoid such thoughts, but they were ever present._

 _Remus remembered the way her eyes would glow when she talked about something that interested her. He remembered the way she'd throw her head back when she laughed, or the way she'd pull her lip in between her teeth when deep in thought. He remembered the way she always smelled of books and parchment, and a hint of moonflower. He remembered the touch of her skin, and the taste of her lips. With her he felt like he could vanquish the Dark Lord alone. Without her…he succumbed to the monster inside._

 _"And… and… Kate? How's she?" Remus couldn't help himself. He had to know._

 _"She's…" Peter hesitated. "She's the reason I'm here."_

 _Remus looked up at him in question. Peter seemed reluctant to answer, and he turned his back to Remus to avoid making eye contact._

 _"She's… she's gone," he said at last._

 _"Gone? Gone where? Why'd she leave?" Remus asked._

 _"She… didn't leave… She's… gone. She's… dead, Remus."_

 _A low buzz had taken up residence in Remus' ears, mutilating Peter's words. Surely he hadn't really said what Remus thought he just said._

 _"What did you say?" Remus asked, voice cracking slightly._

 _"She's dead, Remus. Kate died."_

 _Remus felt his lungs restricting, as though all the air was being forced out of them. His grip on the bottle tightened until the glass had shattered in his hand. His extremities were too numb to feel the sting on the glass as it pierced his skin. Kate… His Kate… dead. Dead because he hadn't been there to protect her. He could see her bloody, mangled corpse before him and he felt like heaving. He wanted nothing more than to die as well._

 _"H…how? Wh…who? Was it Dolohov?" Remus would find the perpetrator. He would hunt whoever it was down, and he'd kill him and he wouldn't need The Wolf to do it._

 _"No. It was…" Peter still had his back to Remus as he looked around at the bare walls. "It was during childbirth. There was…"_

 _"Childbirth?" Remus cut across Peter. "She was…"_

 _"Pregnant when she left you? Yes. There was a complication during the birthing…"_

 _"A complication…caused by lycanthropy?"_

 _"Y—yes," Peter stuttered, turning around with a little too much excitement. "The nasty little beast mauled her. There was nothing the healers could do for her."_

 _"And… and the…the baby?" Remus wept. In his drunken state he couldn't recognize the look in Peter's eyes for what it truly was: malice._

 _"They had to put it down. You understand don't you? It was an abomination."_

 _Remus nodded. Of course he understood. It was a monster, like he was. Neither deserved life._

 _"So that's what I came to tell you. James'll never forgive you for this, you know. You can't ever come around again, or they'll take great pleasure in killing you. Don't… don't worry though. I won't tell them where you live; it's the least I can do for an old friend."_

 _"Th…thank you, Peter. Y—you won't e—ever see me again."_

 _Peter nodded and let himself out while Remus succumbed to his grief. He cried. He yelled. He threw furniture about. And then he cried some more. His heart and his life were gone. What reason for living did he have left now? There was none._

 _Just as Remus was about to end it all though, he suddenly stopped. Death would be too easy. His punishment would be life._

 _A life spent alone._

 _ **March 1994**_

Remus woke with a start; he could feel the rough scars of his hand throbbing slightly at the memory of the breaking glass. It had been several years since he'd thought of that particular day. He had been at his lowest point then. He'd changed after that, not overnight of course; it took some time. He started by pouring out the rest of his liquor, and he'd had nothing stronger than a butterbeer since…or an eggnog, he thought.

He realized now that Peter had obviously been lying, but why? Had he done it on his own for some reason, or had someone put him up to it? Remus thought neither Kate nor James…nor Sirius for that matter... would have sent Peter on such an errand. However… Sirius had betrayed James to Voldemort and Kate had lied to him for four months.

Remus didn't really know what to think.

One thing he was sure about though was Jonathan. Remus could do the simple math. For Jonathan to be fourteen and approaching the end of his fourth year, then he had to be born in the summer of '79. That meant that Kate had to know she was pregnant when she left. There could be no question of it; Jonathan was his son. Not that he thought Kate would have lied about that, but then again…

Remus was stuck in a vicious never ending cycle.

Since discovering the truth, Remus had kept a close eye on Jonathan. He observed his mannerisms in and out of class. Their personal relationship had been strained since the fight over Christmas. Jonathan was clearly very protective of his mother. Remus understood that, even admired it. He was glad that Kate had someone looking out for her, if he couldn't do it himself.

Jonathan's relationship with his Mum wasn't the only thing Remus took notice of. Jonathan seemed to be well liked by just about everyone. Though he was neither the biggest prankster nor the star Quidditch player, he had the respect of his entire house. He had several friends in the other houses too. Even the professors he'd talked to, the ones who didn't know Jonathan was his son, couldn't find any real negative thing to say.

Jonathan was an all-around good kid, and Remus wanted…no…needed to know him as a son.

Remus knew this, but he wasn't sure how Kate would respond to it. He tried to seek her out a few times to talk to her about it. With the approaching Easter holiday, however, Kate was busy overseeing the final projects of her NEWT students. She didn't have any time to spare for him.

Remus was sure when the holiday finally arrived that he'd be able to meet with Kate again at last. When he went looking for her, however, she was nowhere to be found. She wasn't in her office, the Great Hall, the Astronomy Tower or the classroom, and she wasn't in the library. Remus even went as far as to pull out the map and check it. Neither Kate Potter nor Katherine Porter appeared anywhere in the castle or on the grounds. How was that even possible? Was her illusion somehow strong enough to conceal her from the map?

In a last attempt to find her for the day, Remus went to her private chambers. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.

"She's not in there."

Remus turned to find Professor McGonagall nearby. He walked over to her while stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Do you know where she is? I've been looking for her all day."

"It's March and the Easter Holiday. She's in Godric's Hallow. She goes there about this time every year."

Remus was about to ask why, but then it hit him. It would have been James' birthday that past Saturday.

"If you need to take the rest of the day, I am sure the Headmaster won't mind."

Remus thought about it for a moment. He didn't want to intrude on her personal time, especially not when it was spent grieving her brother. Then again…perhaps it would be best to talk about Jonathan whilst they were well away from him.

"Thank you, Professor. I think I will need that time."

 **XXX**

 **28 March 1994**

I pushed my way through the little kissing gate, two bouquets of flowers in hand. I smiled softly and waved to the Father at work in the church garden. He called back a greeting.

"Good afta'noon to ya, Ms. Potter."

"And to you as well, Father."

As I approached the white marble headstone, I let the illusion fall away beneath my cloak. I never spoke to them while in full disguise. I cleared away the overgrown brush, and wiped away the dirt by hand; though, there never was much to clear away. Their grave seemed to be one of the best kept ones. I placed an offering of flowers in the center of the headstone before taking a seat beside it.

I sat in silence a moment, gathering my thoughts and courage, before beginning tearfully.

"I've really mucked things up. And I don't know how, or if I even can fix them this time."

Then I recapped everything that happened between me and Remus since September.

"I know… I know I should…h—have told him from the s—start," I said through tears. "No. I… I should have t—told him l—long ago…when I first knew I was pregnant. I should have lived with whatever his reaction would have been. But I was scared.

"I was so afraid of losing him that I… I lost faith in us… Perhaps it was naive of me to think that we could have survived anything that came our way.

"But, he knows now. He knows, and he can hardly bear to be near me. So, I guess, I brought about my own despair. And it's not over yet either. I'll have to tell Jonathan and face his disappointment, there's nothing more heartbreaking than seeing disappointment in your child's eyes when it's directed at you."

I paused to wipe the tears from my eyes, trying and failing not to smear the dirt on my face.

"That's enough about me and Jonathan, though. Let me tell you about Harry," I laughed lightly.

I sat there for a while longer, talking to the marble stone as though it was a one way portal to James and Lily. I told them all about Harry's adventures since the previous March, from him being a parselmouth, to blowing up his Aunt Marge, to learning how to cast a Patronus.

"He's really quite remarkable," I said. "Though, I wouldn't expect anything less of him. You'd both be very proud of the wizard he is becoming."

I only stayed a moment more before making my farewell. I moved a few rows over and back towards the church to where Mum and Dad were buried. I set the other bouquet of flowers at their joined headstone and knelt before them. I wasn't there long before I felt someone watching me. I tried to listen carefully and tap into my leopard sense to see if it was friend or foe. The scent I picked up was a familiar one: pine and mint chocolate.

I looked over my shoulders and found Remus watching me from a distance. The moment I caught him, he started walking towards me. I turned back to my parents' grave. Just as I had with James and Lily's I cleared away the brush and dirt by hand.

"I don't feel like fighting today," I said once Remus was near enough. "Not here."

"How about dinner then? At the pub. Dave always did make a mean steak."

I looked up at him for a moment before accepting his offered hand to help me to my feet.

"Food sounds great. Thanks," I said softly.

Before we began walking, Remus handed me a damp cloth to wipe the dirt off my face. We made our way back to through the gate and down towards the pub in a comfortable silence. It was only after we ordered that we began a conversation.

"How did you know where to find me?"

"McGonagall. She saw me standing outside your door and took pity on me. I'd been looking for you all morning."

"So she told you I was visiting James."

"I hope you don't mind." He took a sip of his large water.

I shrugged a single shoulder. "They were your family as well. I can't stop you from visiting them."

"McGonagall said you come here every March."

I nodded. "Every March since '82. It used to be the only day I'd leave Jonathan with a sitter, usually Arabella."

"Who?"

"Mrs. Figg, she lives in Little Whinging, just around the corner from us. She's a Squib, so she knows about magic…just in case Jonathan didn't behave like I told him to. She's a sweet, lonely old lady who has lots of cats that like to visit."

Remus smiled. "So cats sill seek the superior feline hiding inside?"

I smiled too. "And I think Jonathan inherited some of it; cats seem to like him as well."

Our small talk was put on hold as our food arrived. We thanked the waiter and began preparing our steaks for consumption. Again, I was the one to speak first.

"That's why you were looking for me, right?"

Remus raised an eyebrow in question.

"You wanted to talk about Jonathan," I clarified. Remus swallowed his bite before answering.

"Yes. I would like to know about our son."

My breath caught in my throat and my heart skipped a little. It was the first time either of us had referred to Jonathan as "our" son.

"I don't think there are enough hours in the day to tell you everything there is to know about him. And some things can't be told; they must be experienced."

"I would like the chance to experience them if I can."

My eyes swelled with tears and a few of them dropped onto my food before I could grab a napkin to catch them. I stalled my response by taking a few bites. Remus was respectful enough to give me the time I needed.

"You used to argue against having kids because you were afraid of passing something along to them. And I told you I didn't care. They could come out covered in fur, and I wouldn't love them or you any less. Do you recall that?"

"I do," he replied. "I loved you, and I didn't want to curse you or an innocent child with my affliction."

"Well, when I discovered I was pregnant…it was around Christmas time…I denied it for several weeks. It wasn't until Lily's birthday that I truly accepted it, and mostly that was because she found out and it was the first time it had been said aloud."

"So you were sick."

"Like I told Lily, I wasn't _sick_."

"It was morning _sickness_ , Kate."

"Yes, it was. And can I just say that the term 'morning sickness' is highly misleading. It was never just in the morning."

He smiled grimly.

"Anyways, I hoped I was wrong; I wanted to be wrong, because I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want you to walk out on me and the baby once you knew."

"And in the end, you're the one who walked out."

"I gave you every chance to stay, Remus, every chance to choose me, but you didn't. It was always the mission that came first; I needed to be first."

"I did the missions for you, Kate. I took them to give you a better life, a life you deserved, the home you deserved. Everything was always for you. I wanted to give you everything."

"I didn't want everything; I didn't need a home. You could have given me a cave, Remus, and I would have made you feel like a King. Because I would have had you, and that's all I ever wanted. You were enough to make me happy. But that's not what this is about. We're here to discuss Jonathan."

"You're right; I'm sorry. Please, continue."

I paused and took a few more bites before continuing.

"I had…mixed feelings about the pregnancy. I was happy and over joyed, and I was frightened and scared senseless. But from the moment I first held him in hospital I was gone. My life used to be all about you, until it became all about him. The first time I looked into those big blue eyes, I…" I smiled tearfully as the memories flooded my vision. "Words cannot describe what I felt in that moment. And I truly am sorry, above everything else, I am sorry that I robbed you of the chance to experience that for yourself because it is a moment that can never be recreated.

"But Jonathan…he's…he's perfect. He's better than perfect; he's better than anything I could have ever imagined him to be. And I wouldn't trade anything that happened between us if it meant giving him up. If I was given the chance to go back and choose to keep you or to keep him….I'd choose him without hesitation. He made everything worth it, because he's…"

"He's your son."

I nodded.

"And he's…healthy? I mean he's fine? He doesn't suffer from any… complications?" Remus asked, choking on the word a little. I shook my head.

"He's perfect. There's not a trace of The Wolf in him. Well… he was born with a full head of hair, and he did have to start shaving a good two years before the other boys his age. He can be a bit temperamental, but they may be more of the Potter influence than anything else." I laughed lightly.

Remus smiled and relaxed his shoulders. "Good. That's good."

The waiter returned to gather our empty plates and drop off the bill. Remus reached for it.

"I've got this," he said. "It's the least I can do for encroaching on your day of remembrance."

"You have Muggle money on you?"

"What?" he looked down at the bill in his hand before realizing his mistake. "Oh! I…uh…"

I smiled and held out my hand for the bill.

"Sorry," he apologized as his cheeks tinted a faint pink. "Do you carry Muggle money regularly?"

"I make a point to…" I said as I pulled out the proper amount. "…when I visit a Muggle establishment," I smirked.

With the bill paid we stood up and gathered our cloaks. We made our way to the door and began heading back up Church Lane. We found a quiet, discreet place to apparate, but before we left I placed my hand on his arm.

"I'll tell him," I said. "I'll tell Jonathan everything. He deserves to know who you are, and you have every right to know him. So, I'll tell him."

"Thank you, Kate. I realize it can't be easy for you to sacrifice your time with him for me."

"Parenting wasn't meant to be easy, Remus. You'll soon learn that. However, I have two…conditions, if you will."

"Conditions? Alright, let's hear them then."

"The first, it will have to wait until spring term is over. Once school starts back we'll all be on the final push towards exams. Jonathan needs to focus on his studies."

"Understood, and I agree. What's the second condition?"

"I must insist that you call me Katherine. It's all anyone knows me by these days. And I won't have you jeopardizing the life I've created any more than you already have."

"Right. That one might be a little harder, but I will give it my best try."

"Thank you."

"So, what do you say….Katherine? Are you ready to return to the castle?"

He held out his arm for side-a-long apparition. I reapplied the illusion before linking my arm through his. We apparated together.


	23. A Truce of Sorts

**Chapter 22**

 **A Truce of Sorts**

Remus and I came to a sort of truce after our dinner in Godric's Hollow. We still weren't as friendly as we had been at the start of school, but we also weren't going out of our way to avoid each other anymore. We even managed to have a few civil conversations in the corridors or at meals. And it was noticed.

"I see you and Mr. Lupin have mended things," Professor McGonagall said one morning at breakfast.

"Mended? No," I said. "But we have reached some sort of truce, or something. We're…civil."

"Yes?" Professor Trelawney asked as she pulled up a seat beside me. Apparently her crystal ball showed her dining with the staff again.

"I said 'civil' not 'Sybil'."

"Who's civil?"

"Doesn't matter. Jam?" I offered her a jar of blackberry jam hoping to distract her. It didn't quite work the way I hoped it would.

"Thank you, dearie."

She took the jar from my hands but as she did she grabbed my hand and flipped it over to study my palm. She tutted as she traced one of the lines.

"Such a pity, dear. It's so short. Oh! But what's this?" She brought my hand up closer to her face. "There appears to be another line, hidden beneath the first."

I pulled my hand back abruptly. My heart raced lightly. I was unsure what to make of what she had just "seen." But I knew I didn't want her to know how much it really affected me.

"Isn't it considered rude to read someone's palm without their consent? Learn your boundaries, Sybil, and stick to them."

I stood and quickly fled the hall, keeping my palm close to my chest. Had she really seen a second life line? Who was I kidding? They were just creases on the palm. They had nothing to do with predicting how long or short my life was going to be.

The Easter holiday flew by quickly, and the last term was fast approaching. That also meant that the final Quidditch match was approaching. As it did, tensions grew thick. The first week of class saw more skirmishes and resulted in more detentions than had been issued the entire month before hand.

Unfortunately, Jonathan was among them.

"Hello, Lady," I said with a polite smile as I stood outside the Gryffindor common room.

"Professor Porter," she greeted.

"I need to see my son, please."

"Gladly, but you know the rules. I'll need the password first."

"Flibbertigibbet."

"Do tell him I'm sorry about this," she said as she swung forward and allowed me passage.

The common room was decked in red and gold, just as I remembered it. The fires were crackling at just the right temperature. When I entered the air was abuzz with chatter, but then a hush fell over the students as the realized a professor had entered their safe haven. I smiled and walked towards the foot of the stairs that lead to the boy's dormitories. I placed the tip of my wand to my throat.

"Jonathan. Harold. Porter. Come down here, now." I spoke with a crisp clearness, enunciating each word carefully. I removed my wand and waited. I had the full attention of the common room, but not that of my son. I re-placed my wand.

"Do not make me climb these stairs to find you."

There was a series of rapid thudding as a pair of feet quickly bounded down the stairs. Jonathan stopped at the little overhang to look at me. A second later, Fred, George, and Lee joined him.

"Look, I… I know you're upset…"

"Oh? What gave me away?"

"…but I can explain."

"I'd love to hear it. Let's go and you can tell me all about why you _had_ to start that fight."

"You see, I'd really love to spend quality time with you, Mum, really I would… but…I have homework I should probably do, so…" He turned like he was going to head to his dorm.

"I won't ask you again, Jonathan."

His shoulders sagged with defeat before he turned to the Weasleys.

"You lot know how to find my last will and testament."

George nodded and clapped him on the back while Fred fell at his feet and gave way to great big sobs.

"It's been good, Mate," Lee said somberly.

As Jonathan made his way down the last flight, the twins and Lee began to sing a funeral dirge. Jonathan left the common room with his head hanging low. I took him down the corridor and around a corner for a bit of privacy. Though, I was sure we'd still have listening ears.

"What were you thinking?! Have you completely lost it? Why, in Merlin's blessed white beard, would you do something like this?"

I laid into him for a good ten minutes. I could see his mounting frustration and his eagerness to defend himself rising. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I didn't give him a chance to get a word in edgewise. Before his anger could explode, we were joined by another body.

"Katherine, perhaps we…"

"Do you know what he did?" I asked, rounding on Remus. I didn't give him a chance to answer before I continued. "He started a fight, Remus, a _physical_ fight. He broke the boy's nose and blackened his eye!"

"In case you've forgotten, Mum, he made leeks sprout out of my ears!" Jonathan finally fired back.

"You broke his nose, Jonathan!"

"Alright, alright…" Remus stepped between us. "Let's all take a moment to calm down. Breathe, Katherine."

I took a few deep breaths, exhaling heavily through my nose.

"Better?" Remus asked, brow raised.

"Alright…so," I paused. "How would you handle this?"

Remus was taken aback. He was nearly as surprised as I was that I was turning Jonathan's discipline over to him. It felt a little like I was saying, 'You want to play Daddy, here's your test.'

"I—uh…well, first, I would find out what exactly happened," Remus stammered.

"It's simple really. Jonathan started a fight with a sixth year Slytherin, and put him in hospital with a broken nose and a black eye," I said.

"If it's all the same to you, Katherine, I'd like to hear Jonathan's perspective."

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest as Remus turned towards Jonathan.

"Jonathan? Is it true that you started the fight?"

"Yeah…alright," Jonathan said with a shoulder shrug. "I started it. And I broke his nose, so what? I'd do it again too…"

Remus sighed.

"You see," I replied.

"…but he was trying to hex Katie," Jonathan said.

The corridor fell silent. This was the first time I'd heard anything about Katie being involved.

"What do you mean?" Remus asked.

"The Slytherins have been trying to get at Harry all week," Jonathan explained. "They know they don't stand a chance against him on the Firebolt. But Wood's had him well guarded. So I guess they figured if they couldn't get Harry, they'd take the rest of the team out. He was about to hex Katie from behind. Was I supposed to just let it happen?"

"Of course not," I said quickly.

"So you tackled him to block his jinx?" Remus asked for clarification. Jonathan nodded.

"Alright, fine. He was going to hex Katie, so you tackled him to save her; I understand that," I said. "But then you proceeded to throw punches and broke his nose in the process. Katie was already safe; you crossed a line, Jonathan. And _that_ is why you're being punished."

Jonathan crossed his arms over his chest and gave me what seemed to be a dangerously bored look.

"Detention then?" he asked. "Fine. I'll see you there. It was worth it."

"Did I say detention?" I turned to Remus, but he didn't respond. "I don't think I did."

"So…no…detention?" Jonathan looked a little worried.

"No," I replied gently.

"Katherine, what are you doing?" Remus asked. I glanced up at him and knew he had an inkling as to what I was about to say.

I turned back to Jonathan with a smile. "You're grounded…"

"Grounded?" Jonathan asked.

"Yes, grounded…grounded from the match on Saturday."

His eyes bugged out. "What! But you can't!"

"Oh, I think I can!"

"No! Please, Mum, anything but that. Please, give me a detention. Give me ten detentions, just please don't… It's the final match, and we could actually win this! We're so close!"

"Katherine," Remus began calmly. "Perhaps that is a…touch extreme."

"You disagree? Why am I not surprised?"

Remus looked affronted.

"What would you suggest then?"

"I would take into consideration that what he did was in defense of another. Yes—" he cut across my protest. "—he crossed a line with his punches. But initially he acted in defense, and that must be commended so I… I would recommend that he be allowed to attend the match on Saturday, but that you take away his final Hogsmeade weekend and make him serve a detention instead."

"The next weekend isn't until after exams," I said.

"Yes, and so he'll have no homework or studying to do, but still won't be allowed to enjoy it freely like the rest of his peers."

"That's cruel," Jonathan protested.

"I like it," I said after a moment's pause. Remus looked surprised.

"What?" Jonathan exclaimed. "Are you really going to listen to him?"

"Yes, I am, and I think I'll take you up on that ten detention thing too. Your first will be served Saturday night…after the match."

"But if we win, there's sure to be a party."

"I'm counting on it. Maybe next time you decide to play hero, you'll think about those invisible lines and whether or not it's worth crossing them."

Jonathan was not pleased with my decision, but he did not protest it further. I waited a moment before calling over my shoulder.

"Miss Bell…" There was silence followed by the hesitant shuffle of feet as Katie stepped around the corner. She smiled apologetically at Jonathan."

"Are you all right?" I asked.

"Yes, Professor. Thanks to your son, I'm fit for flying."

"Good. And the rest of you?" A moment later the rest of the Gryffindor team, including Harry who was accompanied by Ron, stepped around the corner.

"All present and accounted for," George said with a salute.

I cast a sideways glance at Remus to find him smiling in amusement. Clearly my sensitive feline ears were still working as well as ever.

"Right…" I turned my focus to the team and with a very stern look I said, "I want you all to get a good night's rest tonight and a hearty breakfast in the morning. By my calculations you need to win by two hundred points…at least."

I looked to Oliver Wood who nodded, albeit a little dumbfounded.

"That puts the pressure on you, Harry; I'm sorry. So even if you see it before, don't go for the Snitch unless you're up by fifty. And do everything you can to keep Malfoy off of it. I expect a clean match from all if you. Be ready though, because you know the Slytherins won't be clean. My chasers," I looked to the three girls. "Use one another, communicate; you don't have to take all the shots alone. Beaters, protect them like they're your family because they are, more than ever before.

"And Wood," I turned to the seventh year captain and placed my hand on his shoulder. "Relax. Breathe. And trust in your team. You've trained them well; take pride in that."

I looked at each team member with a smile before leaving them to get back to their own time. Remus trotted after me.

"Nice pep talk," he said with a small grin.

"I really want to beat Snape this year," I replied. I looked over at him. "Nice discipline."

He scratched the back of his head with a grimace. "It was harder than I thought it would be."

"It's never easy. But you're fortunate; you only get to see the snark now. When he was younger, it was damn near torturous to discipline him because he gave this great big remorseful look every time."

We stopped abruptly at what I said. Remus' smile faded as the hurt took precedence.

"Sorry, I… I'll see you around." I walked away quickly.

 **XXX**

The next morning was the big match. After breakfast, I made my way down to the stadium with the rest of the school inhabitants. I was dressed in Gryffindor colors, as was most everyone else. I was among the last of the staff to arrive at the Headmaster's box. As such, the only spot available was next to Remus. I hadn't spoken to him since leaving him in the hall, but instead of turning away from me, he smiled kindly and made room.

The whole stadium, minus two hundred Slytherins and Snape, cheered loudly as the Gryffindor team made their way onto the pitch. The crowd was less enthusiastic as the Slytherins came out. The match began quickly and Gryffindor wasted no time in scoring. Angelina recovered the quaffle after Alicia lost it, and scored ten points for Gryffindor.

The crowd's roar quickly turned to protest as the Slytherins wasted no time in causing a foul. The chaser and captain, Marcus Flint, went crashing into Angelina only to receive Fred's chucked beater's bat to the back. Both teams were awarded a penalty shot; Gryffindor scored, Slytherin did not. The score was now twenty to zero and the match had only started ten minutes ago.

The match went on. The quaffle passed back and forth between the two teams.

"…THAT WAS DELIBERATE!" Lee's voice rang over the speakers.

"Jonathan won't be pleased with that," I said. Montague had swerved in front of Katie and grabbed her head instead of the quaffle and made her drop it while she struggled to stay on her broom.

"He does appear to fancy her a bit, doesn't he?" Remus noted.

"Yes, and I think it's reciprocated."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Surely you've seen the little looks she's given him. Or are you still as blind to them as you were when you were his age and _I_ gave you those looks?"

Our eyes locked for a moment before our attention was diverted back to the match as the crowd cheered. Katie had scored on her penalty shot, and Harry took off zooming across the pitch towards the Slytherin goal posts; Malfoy was close behind. Harry narrowly avoided two bludgers, and just as he was about to collide with the two Slytherin beaters he pulled up. The beaters collided with each other.

Soon thereafter, Flint had scored the first goal for Slytherin.

The Slytherins were pulling out all the dirtiest tricks they could imagine to try and stop Gryffindor. They even attacked Wood with both bludgers while the quaffle was on the other side of the pitch. The dirtiest, perhaps, though was when Malfoy grabbed the end of Harry's broom to prevent him from catching the snitch. McGonagall was on her feet yelling at the boy, while Lee roared into the microphone.

I leaned in towards Remus.

"Do you remember that one year…was it fourth or fifth…when McGonagall allowed Sirius to commentate?"

Remus chuckled. "How could I forget?" He looked at me with a smile. "During the last match she had to mute him halfway through and finish the commentary herself."

"He makes Jordan sound like a saint at times."

We locked eyes again and smiled. For a moment we were caught in a fond memory together.

"It was fourth year, by the way," Remus said. "James was still a chaser at that point; he hadn't moved to seeker, and it was just you, me, and Peter in the stands. Peter smuggled in snacks for our consumption, you shielded us from the wind, and I provided the flames for our warmth. I still remember the way your eyes would glow in the firelight when you smiled at me after James would score. It was the first time I started…"

His smile slowly faded, and he dropped his eyes from mine.

"AAAAAAAAARRRRGH!"

Harry's ferocious yell caught my attention. I whipped my head towards the Slytherin end in time to see Harry zoom into a cluster of green, scattering then, and allowing Angelina passage to score. The score was now 80-20, Gryffindor.

An instant later though, the Slytherins began cheering loudly; Malfoy was going for the snitch on the opposite end of the pitch. Harry took off flying after him.

"Come on, Harry!" I shouted in in excitement.

Remus and I jumped to our feet as Harry quickly closed the distance between him and Malfoy. Every person present on was their feet cheering on their favorite seeker. Even Snape had risen to his feet. In anticipation, I unwittingly reached down and grasped Remus' hand. He squeezed back as we shouted together.

Harry flattened himself on the broom, reached out with both hands, and…

"AHHHH!" I screamed as his hand closed on the snitch.

I jumped. I shouted. I clapped loudly. Then Remus and I turned towards one another in our excitement. I threw my arms around his neck while his wrapped themselves around me. I was so ecstatic I felt the prick of tears in my eyes. They'd done it. Gryffindor had won the match and the cup.

Remus slowly disentangled himself from my embrace and stepped back. I could see that familiar hurt and betrayal creeping back in.

"Sorry, I…"

He didn't finish his sentence; he just left. I forced myself to keep smiling for appearances, though all I wanted to do now was cry.

Later that evening, after I had released Jonathan from his detention, I made my way to the Headmaster's office. I'd spent all afternoon and evening thinking about the look that had been on Remus' face when he left the match. It seemed every time I made him smile, I made him hurt more. He didn't look my way once during dinner. And he'd quickly darted down another passage when I nearly came across him in the corridor. He was back to avoiding me, and I didn't know what else I could do.

I tapped lightly with the brass knocker and the door swung open.

"Ah, Professor Porter. I thought you might be celebrating with Minerva this evening," Dumbledore said with smiling eyes.

I didn't respond. There was no use in pretending to be happy at the moment. Dumbledore's mood shifted instantly, and he offered me a seat.

"I…I came to submit this." I handed him my prepared parchment. He took it carefully, looking at me over the rim of his glasses. He read over it with a grim look, while I fought to contain my tears. This was not how I wanted to spend my Saturday night, but I was really at a loss of any other solution.

"You're resigning?" His shock set off the tears.

"Effective at the end of term," I replied.

"Why? I thought you enjoyed teaching. And I know your students enjoy you."

"I do. I enjoy it more than I thought I would. I just… I can't go on like this anymore. This year… this year has been…" I shook my head at a loss of words to adequately describe the whirlwind I felt the past year.

"Remus is a good professor too," I said at last. "And he deserves his position. I've seen him connect with his first years as easily as he has with his seventh years. And having the potion on hand, he's…" I wiped at my eyes. "He needs this job more than I do. But I'm afraid my being here will hinder him. So… I'll leave, and let him stay."

Dumbledore looked at me with a sad smile as I fought to keep my composure.

"Is it safe to assume you haven't mentioned this to him?" he asked.

"Of course I haven't. I'd like to hope that he'd try to stop me if I did, and I'd cave into him like always, I know. But if he didn't try… I think it'd break me."

"And I don't suppose there's any way I could convince you stay?"

"This is for the best, Albus. For me, for Remus…for Jonathan. We're going to tell him…this summer, we're going to tell him everything. Now he won't have to worry about taking sides if I'm not here. He'll be free to enjoy his father's classes again."

"Will you tell Harry as well?"

I laughed grimly. "I'm not sure what good it will do to tell Harry, unless he'd be allowed to live with me."

Dumbledore didn't respond, but I understood his look.

"Thought as much. When's the last time the Great Albus Dumbledore changed his mind?" I cringed the moment the words left my mouth. "Sorry, Sir. That was uncalled for."

Dumbledore sighed sadly. "I'm not as perfect as you make me out to be, Miss Potter."

"As I make you? Remus was always the one who was ready to drop everything at your command. You'd call, and he'd come running leaving everything and everyone behind." I'd never confessed to him, or to anyone, how I came to despise Dumbledore's Patronus during the first war, or how I blamed him in part for my break-up with Remus.

"Anyways, I… I wanted to give you that first hand, and give you ample time to find my replacement." I collected myself and rose to leave.

"How is your Patronus doing, Ms. Porter?" he asked randomly.

With a flick of my wrist I released my mangled leopard. It hadn't completely changed yet; it was still flickering, but it now definitely had more wolfish tendencies than leopard. When I visited Dumbledore after the initial change, he said it was because I was in conflict with my feelings for Remus. He believed that until I sorted those feelings out with Remus, then my Patronus would remain stuck as it was.

"You haven't told Remus about his yet, have you?" Dumbledore asked.

"Why? He can hardly bear to be near me now. I don't think him knowing about my Patronus is going to change his opinion of me."

"You two seemed to be getting along at the match this morning."

"We were, but then something happened and he went back to avoiding me this afternoon. It's what drove me here, I think. I can't stay on this emotional turmoil with him. Speaking of him, I trust you won't mention this to anyone. I'll tell McGonagall and Jonathan when the moment is right."

Dumbledore nodded his head, and I bid him a good night before leaving.


	24. The Leopard and The Wolf

**Warning: I did post a new chapter on Friday, but I did it from my phone app and I did not receive the email to say it was posted...so you may not have received it either. Just wanted to let you know in case you didn't read chapter 22, _A Truce of Sorts._ It was a fluff chapter, but still, a few key moments were in there.**

 **Anywho... On to the next chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 23**

 **The Leopard and the Wolf**

 _ **5 June 1994**_

I was filled with a frantic giddiness, while an abnormal hush fell over the castle. The month and a half since the Quidditch final passed quickly and June had arrived. The air outside was warm and beckoning, and the students and staff were eager for the summer holiday. But first, we had to get through exams.

I walked in to the staff room on Sunday afternoon before the start of exam week to find McGonagall, Flitwick, and Remus busy at work prepping. I sat down at the table with a stack of papers and a bright smile.

"I love exam time, don't you?"

In response I received annoyed looks from McGonagall and Flitwick and an amused grin from Remus.

"You always were a bit… odd…around exam time," he said.

"Odd? Wow! Such high praise, Mr. Lupin," I replied with a smile. I could tell by his small smirk he knew I was teasing.

"I never understood why, though."

I shrugged. "I always had this sense of fulfillment or achievement afterwards. I mean, we spent all year preparing and studying for this one goal, and to finally put everything we learned on to parchment and walkout with an O…or an E if it was history… was highly gratifying."

"You were quite a pleasure to have in class on exam day," Professor Flitwick said.

"See, Remus, that's how it's done. 'Pleasure,' not 'odd.' And you have to admit, it was fun when I quizzed you all beforehand."

"Fun? I think it was bit more like pestering."

I sat back in my chair, momentarily stunned. I was acutely aware of McGonagall and Flitwick eyeing us suspiciously, wondering if we were about to argue once more. Remus' lips gave a little quiver and my smile returned.

"Well, I'm convinced that my 'pestering,' as you call it, is the only reason James and Sirius always did as well as they did on exams."

"And what's your excuse for being so chipper now?" McGonagall asked.

I shrugged a shoulder. "I like making the kids sweat a little."

She gave a little snort. "Once a mischief maker, always a mischief maker."

Remus laughed heartily.

"Me?" I protested. "I kept them in line. Do you think Remus' prefect badge did anything other than make them think they could get away with things more often?"

"I had hoped that he would have had more of an influence on them."

"Honestly, Professor, I think I did the best I could with what I was given to work with," Remus defended.

"You see, I was the good one," I said.

"The 'good ones' don't become illegal Animagi," Flitwick said.

"I…" I stopped myself and caught Remus' eye. I was about to point out that James, Sirius, and Peter had all become Animagi too, but recalled that they didn't know about that…and it wouldn't have helped my case any. So I turned to McGonagall instead.

"No, only those with… 'exceptional talent.'"

Her lips turned up in a smirk and Flitwick chuckled.

The four of us sat there for most of the afternoon, completing our final preparations for our exams and reminiscing about our favorite moments from the past year and years before. All the while a slow depression grew in the pit of my stomach. I was really going to miss this next year.

 **XXX**

I walked around the viewing deck of the Astronomy Tower and gave a soft, content sigh. It was Thursday; the first week of exams was nearly complete. In a week the students would pile onto the Hogwarts Express and return home. I would return to Privet Drive…permanently.

I really didn't want the school year to end. I was doing everything I could not to think about the sit down Remus and I would have with Jonathan that summer. I didn't want things to change, but I knew they had to. Remus and I hadn't really talked about it either; we hadn't really talked since our dinner in Godric's Hollow.

Thinking about Remus made me look up at the sky. The full moon was currently blocked behind a cloudy sky. I thought of Remus sleeping calmly in his room under the Wolfsbane's spell. I think the past year teaching finally showed him that he could have a steady job that he enjoyed and that inspired him. His final exams had consisted of a brilliant obstacle course for his third years. Though I hated the idea of leaving, I knew I was making the right decision for a change. As I watched the sky, the clouds slowly parted and the moon shone through.

…

A haunting howl pierced the silent night.

 _No!_

I knew that howl. I'd heard it only once before, but it had been carved into my memory. How was this even possible? He was supposed to be locked in his room. All I could think was that something somehow had gone terribly wrong. I had to help him.

I took off down the spiral stairs without a second that. I leapt over the vanishing stair and began making my way towards the nearest exit. I sent a quick Patronus to Dumbledore's office to let him know that Remus was loose on the grounds and that I was taking care of it. Once I was through a set of exterior doors, I ran down the steps changing in the process to my leopard.

I paused to sniff the air. I had heard Remus howl from the tower, but I couldn't make out what direction it came from. I hoped he was somewhere near the forest, but the forest was large. I began making my way towards it anyway. At last I caught something, only it wasn't his scent. It was a sound, another howl to be more precise. This howl was different though. It sounded more man-made than wolf-made. And it was quickly followed by another.

I took off in that direction. Even if it wasn't The Wolf, The Wolf would hear it and head for it too. I was running at full speed, and a stich quickly formed in my side. It had been a long time since I had run like this. I had no choice but to ignore it however. I had to get to Remus before The Wolf accidently attacked anyone.

At last an image other than trees and brush came into view. It wasn't a pleasant sight however. The Wolf had two students in his line of attack: Harry and Hermione. They were running as quickly as they could, but The Wolf was closing in. I forced myself to run faster, kicking up dirt and leaves behind me.

The Wolf raised one of its clawed paws, ready to attack, and I let out a snarling roar hoping to distract it. It worked; The Wolf paused and looked my way, as did Harry and Hermione. I put all my strength into my back legs and kicked off the ground. I leapt through the air, front paws spread wide, and claws retracted. (I only wanted to chase The Wolf away, not hurt it).

The Wolf crouched down and prepared for my attack. My paws landed on its large shoulder muscles. I tucked my head into my chest as my hind legs flipped over my body. I tried to pull The Wolf along with me, but my paws slipped on its fur. On instinct my claws came out. The Wolf howled as they dug into his back, but his body moved with mine. I used my momentum to roll through. I landed on top but The Wolf quickly threw me aside. then The Wolf turned his attention back to Harry and Hermione.

I shook off my fall and quickly resumed my attack on The Wolf. I, of course, had never seen The Wolf. Even after we had left Hogwarts and were living together, neither James nor Remus had allowed me to join them on their romps. Then Remus had joined up with The Pack and, well…

I didn't really know how rough the boys had been with The Wolf, but I knew I couldn't let him hurt anyone. Even if it meant hurting him, I had to get him away from Harry and Hermione. Remus would have to forgive me later.

I snapped at The Wolf's hind quarters and dodged the swipes of his front paws. Finally sinking my teeth into a back leg, I pulled him away. He turned his long snout on me, snapping and swiping at me. I had to release his leg as I jumped out of the way. I leapt towards Harry and Hermione. Our little snap and dodge game continued until at last I had positioned myself between him and his prey. Harry and Hermione were pinned against a tree behind me, and The Wolf was before me.

I dug my claws into the dirt, my ears lay flat on my head, and my body crouched low ready to attack if need be. I growled, baring my pointed teeth. The Wolf tried to circle behind me, but I wouldn't give up my position. He snarled and I barked, my muscles flexing in the process.

 _Mine,_ I growled.

The Wolf snapped at me.

 _Mine!_

The Wolf did not want to give up its prey so easily. I could see its back legs tensing as it prepared to leap at me. I wasn't sure how long I could fight him alone when he had potential victims so near at hand. And what would happen to me if I was bitten in my leopard form? I knew from past experiences that any injury sustained would carry over to my human self. I had once broken every bone in my hand while trying to escape from my Father.

Suddenly I was joined by another beast. It was the hippogriff Buckbeak. He had been scheduled for execution earlier that day, but something obviously intervened. I was very glad for whatever, or whoever it was.

Buckbeak kicked up his front hooves, snapped his beak, and flapped his wings at The Wolf. The Wolf growled, but slowly began backing away. It apparently didn't feel like taking us both on. I stood my ground and growled at the retreating wolf. As he turned and ran away, I wanted to give chase, but first I had to check on Harry and Hermione.

I turned towards the pair, changing mid-turn as I did. Their eyes widened to similar looks of shock.

"Harry!"

I took his face in both my hands and immediately began checking every inch of it for marks of The Wolf. After finding none, I grabbed his arms and checked them.

"Did he…?"

"N-No…he didn't scratch me," Harry said.

"Hermione!" I turned to her and repeated the process.

"No, I'm all right. He didn't get us," she said.

"Oh! Thank goodness!" I took a few steps back and placed a hand over my chest. My heart was racing like I'd just competed in a marathon I hadn't trained for; my limbs felt like jelly.

"He'd never forgive himself if he'd so much as drooled on one of you. No matter how many times you try to tell him it can only be spread through a bite."

I stood there for a moment, just trying to catch my breath, as a million questions raced through my mind. I was about to ask one when Harry suddenly cut across me.

"Wh…"

"You're an Animagus?"

I nodded. "Yes."

Again Harry and I spoke over one another.

"I had a phenomenal Transfiguration Professor."

"Like Sirius!"

It took me a moment to register what he had said.

"Wait… did you just say 'Sirius?' You've seen him! Is he here?" I said in a rush and they must have interpreted it as worry.

"Er—yes, but, Professor…"

"Where? Where is he, Harry?" I looked around us frantically as though expecting him to jump out from behind the tree and shout 'Surprise!'

"He didn't do it!" Harry said loudly.

I paused my searching as tears rushed to fill my eyes.

"He didn't betray my parents. It wasn't him."

"Harry's right, Professor," Hermione said. "We were all wrong. Sirius is innocent."

I laughed and turned back towards them. "Sirius hasn't been innocent since the day he was born. That boy's always been guilty of one thing or another."

"Wait…did you know him?" Harry asked suspiciously.

I drew my lip in between my teeth. "I…"

Suddenly The Wolf howled from deep in the forest. My head whipped in the direction it came from, and I swore loudly.

"Not that way!"

"What? Where is he going?" Hermione asked.

"He's doubled back. He's heading towards the village now."

"You have to stop him, Professor Porter. You can't let him hurt anyone."

"I know, but…" I looked back towards the castle longingly. I desperately wanted to see Sirius again, but Hermione was right.

"Sorry, Sirius, but tonight's not our night," I said softly before turning my attention back to Harry and Hermione. "As a Professor, I should order you both back to the castle, but as someone who knows better, I'm sure you both have good reason to be out here. But please, Harry…"

I took his face in my hands again as I debated on my next words. I could tell by the look in his eyes that it was already too late. He knew I was keeping things from him. How much longer could I keep my secrets? I was surprised when I realized that I didn't want to keep them anymore. I wanted him to know how much I loved him. I kissed the top of his head in resignation.

"Be the better part of James tonight. Be brilliant, not rash," I said before releasing his face and stepping back.

"Miss Porter, I… I don't understand."

"I'll explain everything, Harry. I promise, but later. I have to stop The Wolf before he does something Remus regrets."

Harry nodded. I turned, changed, and hurried after The Wolf.

I ran through the dark wood as fast as I could, kicking up dirt everywhere. I relied almost solely on my feline senses. I heard the crunch of every twig and leaf both near and far. With my heightened night vision my eyes cut through the thick darkness. And I inhaled the various scents of the forest, from a variety of foliage, and a few stray hares, to a clan Centaurs and a horde of strange spiders.

As I ran, I leapt over fallen branches and ducked beneath low hanging limbs. I skirted around a briar bush, and yelped as a thorn scraped along my front leg. All the while I listened for The Wolf. He had to be somewhere nearby.

A small wind made the tops of the thick trees sway, and brought with it a plethora of smells. Most of them were various types of woods: oak, cedar, walnut, cypress. Some of which couldn't be found in the Forbidden Forest. But there were a few scents that were highly familiar: pine, ground cinnamon, sage, and mint chocolate.

I skidded to a halt and turned my face to the wind. The mint chocolate became stronger as The Wolf came into view. He was running towards me but stopped when he saw me. He crouched low and gave a dangerous growl, baring all his teeth. I didn't want or need to fight him again; I simply needed to steer him away from Hogsmeade. He remembered our first encounter, however, and he was ready for round two.

I decided I needed to show him that I could be submissive. So I sat on my hind legs and tucked my tail around my feet. The Wolf stopped growling, but he continued to eye me suspiciously. I stretched out my front paws on the ground, crossing one over the other and laid my head on top of them. The Wolf stood a little straighter, but still looked wary.

 _I'm not here to fight you._

The Wolf jumped low again and growled viciously.

 _I don't care if you don't believe me. It doesn't change the truth of the matter._

The Wolf continued to growl and I gave a lazy yawn.

 _We can stand here all night, or you can just move on._

Suddenly The Wolf's growl became more defensive than aggressive. The ears on my head moved back as I caught the slow crunch of hooves behind me. I rose to my feet as several Centaurs stood behind me. Centaurs didn't take too kindly to people or creatures that entered their territory.

I looked up at the Centaur that stood nearest me. I could tell by the way his eyes bore into me that he knew I was more than just a leopard. He probably, then, also know that The Wolf was more than just a wolf. He turned his great big head up towards the sky and I followed his gaze. There was a small break in the canopy of leaves through which the full moon could be seen.

Yep. He knew.

The Wolf, deciding he didn't want to fight a clan of Centaurs, slowly backed away.

"We will guard the perimeter," said the rumbling voice of the Centaur. I turned my attention back to him. "You tame the _beast_."

I snarled, not liking his tone. _Not a beast._

Then I followed the path of The Wolf.

I found The Wolf easily, but I kept my distance as he didn't seem to like me much. The night steadily drew on as we roamed the forest. I knew The Wolf was searching hard for human flesh, but he didn't find any, I'm just thankful that being in the woods seemed to calm him a bit, or maybe it was the potion he took the week leading up to the moon. Either way, the Wolf didn't bite or scratch at himself like he normally would have.

 **XXX**

The popping and snapping of bones quickly followed by the groaning and yelping of a man, aroused me from my slumber. I slowly sat up, momentarily confused as to why my hands and feet felt so weird. It wasn't until I recalled the events of the night that I realized I was still in my leopard form.

I turned towards the groaning and popping, and saw that The Wolf was turning back into Remus. When the transformation was complete, Remus simply continued to lay there. He appeared to be asleep, so I let me eyes roam over his barely clad body. His clothes had been almost completely shredded from his torso down. I could see plainly, and with great detail, the various bits of discolored scarred skin, many of them were unknown to me. I gave a little whimper at the heartache I felt for him.

"It's alright," he said softly. "The beast is gone."

I changed on the spot and leaned against the tree behind me.

"You're not a beast," I said.

Remus opened his eyes lazily to look my way before pushing himself up with a groan. His tattered shirt fell off his shoulder. He tried pushing it up but to no avail.

"Would I be correct in assuming that you do not have your wand on you?"

"No…I," he sighed. "I lost it somewhere by the willow."

I crawled the short distance to where he was for a closer inspection. He had a few fresh scratches, most notably four long marks across the length of his back. I cut off a clean patch of fabric from the leg of my pants and soaked it with water from my wand.

"Kate… you don't have to do that," Remus tried protesting, but it was already too late.

"And you don't have to protest, but you still do. Besides, I've never really liked these pants." I began to clean the wounds on his back. "They make my butt look big."

"I've never found fault with it," it said softly.

I don't think he meant for me to hear, but I did and I paused in my cleaning.

"Sorry, I…"

"How's your ankle?" I cut across him.

He hesitated before answering. "A bit sore, but it will be alright."

"I didn't mean to bite you, or scratch you for that matter. I was just…"

"…Doing what you had to in order to protect Harry and Hermione," he finished. "I know."

"So you… you remember then?"

"Everything. … Every time."

He hung his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. I really didn't know what I could do for him in that moment, or even how much he would listen to me. So I continued to clean his wounds, and when I finished, I mended his clothes as best I could. Then we sat in silence as the morning dawned slowly.


	25. The Morning After

**Hiya! Please see the author's note at the end.**

* * *

 **Chapter 24**

 **The Morning After**

"Remus," I said, shrugging my shoulder to get his attention. After sitting in silence for a while, Remus had dozed off and his head had fallen on my shoulder.

"Remus, come on. I think we should start making our way to the castle."

"Mmm?" he moaned, opening his eyes slightly.

"Come on, let's go." I shrugged again.

He lifted his head and I pushed myself to my feet. I brushed the dirt off my bum while he rubbed his eyes.

"Sorry for falling asleep on you."

"It's not the first time," I replied lightly as I held out a hand to help him up. He took it without looking at me, but then grabbed my arm in alarm when he finally did.

"Katherine, you've been scratched!" He pulled up the sleeve of my blouse with wide eyes. Sure enough, there was a long deep scratch down my arm.

"Huh…"

"Did I…?"

"Briar bush," I said quickly.

"What?"

"I distinctly remember running into a briar bush on my way to find The Wolf last night. It must have scratched me more than I realized."

He looked skeptical. "And is the blood on your shirt from a briar bush too?"

"The what?" I looked down at my blouse. "Oh bugger! I really liked this blouse to, and you know you can never really get blood out of anything."

I looked up to find Remus in a deep frown. I knew he was thinking the worst.

"It's rabbit, Remus."

"Rabbit?"

"Smell for yourself if you don't believe me." I held out my shirt for him to sniff. "See, rabbit. Someone wanted a midnight snack last night. She usually cleans up after herself, but she's currently mad at me so I guess this her way of getting back."

Remus quirked an eyebrow in question; I explained.

"I haven't let her out for a run since the start of school; normally I do about once a month. I haven't kept her locked away this long since…Since I was pregnant with Jonathan, come to think about it, but she was very understanding then."

Remus sighed as we began picking our way through the forest back towards the castle.

"So, does Jonathan know about your leopard?"

"Oh yes," I replied. "She has been a part of his life as much as I have. For the first few months after he was born, I would wake up to find myself curled up on the floor by his crib. I would transform sometime during my sleep and got to his crib and watch him with no conscious memory of the transformation."

Remus gave a light chuckle, but when I looked his way all I saw him grimace in pain. I glanced down at the ankle he was limping on. It was obviously bothering him more than he had originally let on. Without permission, I placed Remus' arm around my neck while I wrapped mine around his waist.

"Katherine…"

"Don't be stubborn, Remus. I'm here; use me. It's not like I'm going to bit you." The corner of my lips turned up in a smirk, as did Remus'.

"Had your fill last night, did you?"

It was a clear sign that The Wolf was retreating if Remus was able to joke about it.

"About last night," I began a little wary "What happened? Why were you out? And what happened with Sirius?"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "He… You were right, Kate. Sirius didn't do it."

He sounded on the verge of tears, and once again the affirmation that Sirius was innocent in James and Lily's death brought tears to my eyes as well.

"He didn't do any of it," he continued.

"Start from the beginning, please."

"Yesterday… Yesterday evening, I suspected Harry and his friends might go down to see Hagrid, so I watched them on the map. I was right, but on their way back I noticed they were joined by someone. I didn't think it was possible; I thought the map must have been malfunctioning. Then Sirius joined them as well. After he pulled two of them into the Whomping Willow, I ran down there to figure out what was going on."

"What are you on about, Remus? Who was with them?"

"Peter."

"What?" We stopped walking and I stepped back to look at him.

"It was Peter, Kate."

"No." I shook my head. "That's not possible, Remus. Pete's…"

"Supposed to be dead, I know, but he's not. Kate, I've seen him; I've _talked_ to him, and he is very much alive."

"How? Where has he been all this time?"

"Closer than you might think. At least for the last four years. He's been living with the Weasleys."

"What!"

"As their pet rat," he said quickly, sensing that I was about to defend my friends. "As Ron's rat."

"You mean Scabbers?"

"Yes. Did you ever get a good look at him?"

I was about to answer 'of course' but then I considered it for a moment. I really hadn't see Scabbers. I'd caught a quick glance of his head when he poked it out of Ron's pocket, or a flash of his bald tail, but nothing more.

"N-no. No, I haven't."

Remus nodded, suspecting as much.

"But I don't understand. If Pete's been alive all these years, then why…" I didn't finish my question; I couldn't. It was suddenly very clear to me what must have happened. I covered my mouth with my hands as my tears began to fall. Remus limped towards me and placed his hands on my shoulder.

"He…?" I choked.

Remus nodded.

"He did it…?"

"Peter was their Keeper," Remus said. "Not Sirius. They changed without telling anyone, not even you. Peter turned James and Lily over to Voldemort, and then he went for you." His voice cracked as he struggled against his own tears.

"But Sirius got to you first. He warned you to leave while he went after Peter. They met outside your flat, and Peter, not Sirius, killed those Muggles when he blasted a hole in your building. Then Peter transformed, leaving behind a finger as proof of his death, and scurried away through a sewer pipe. Since no one but us knew he was an Animagus, no one thought to question what happened.

"But Sirius…Sirius didn't do any of it. He was innocent. You were right."

"But Peter…Peter was…he was there for me," I babbled through my tears. "He couldn't have. Why? Peter was always there when I needed him. He brought me sweeties so I wouldn't feel alone. He watched Jonathan so I could sleep. He…"

"He was in love with you."

"He…what?"

"He," Remus hesitated. "He was in love with you, Kate, from the very beginning I think. He wanted you all to himself. The way he talked about you in the shack, it was like you were some possession that rightfully belonged him… Everything he did was to get you alone, so that you'd have nobody but him to turn to. He killed James. He let Sirius take the fall. He…"

I was openly sobbing. Remus pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms around me. For a while we just stood there, on the edge of the forest, crying into each other's embrace, the early morning light encasing us in its glow. When, from the corner of our eyes, we saw two figures quickly approaching, we separated. It was Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey.

"Where is he?" I asked. "Where is Sirius?"

"Gone," replied Dumbledore. "Escaped the tower last night and disappeared…as did the hippogriff coincidently enough."

"And what of Peter?" Remus asked.

"Ah. I'm afraid There's been no sign of him either."

I swore on the spot. "Sorry, Professor, I…"

"That's quite alright, Ms. Porter; I've heard worse."

I turned my attention to Madam Pomfrey. "How are Harry and Hermione?"

"And Ron," Remus added.

"What happened to Ron?" I asked.

"He was the one Sirius pulled into the Willow. He had a broken leg last I saw him."

"He did, and it's mending well," Poppy said. "I've already informed his mother of the situation. The others are quire fine, shaken yes but fine."

"I daresay those Dementors did quite a number on Harry though," Dumbledore added.

"Again?" I asked.

"Yes, but this time they had caught up with Sirius and Harry saved him. You both should be quite proud of the Patronus he produced."

Remus and I looked at one another.

"It was all…"

"…a joint effort," Remus said, cutting across me.

"Well, I think it's best we get you both back into the castle before the students awake and tend to those wounds of yours," Poppy said.

"I'm fine, actually," I said. "Nothing a nice, hot shower won't mend. Remus however…"

"…has been worse," he said. I ignored him, and continued speaking to Poppy like he hadn't said anything.

"Make sure you examine his ankle thoroughly. I—uh—had to bite him a bit, and I'm not sure how much damage I did."

"You may be wanting these, then," Dumbledore said as he handed Remus his wand and drew up his cane for him.

Remus nodded and thanked the Headmaster before hobbling off with Madame Pomfrey. Dumbledore and I were left together.

"I saw Harry and Hermione in the forest last night, with Remus," I said. "And after what Remus told me about the shack… I'm going to tell Harry. He knows about the boys now, and I know he has questions about me. And I just…"

I sighed. "I'm going to do it, I'm just scared of what will come of it. Harry and Katherine have a good relationship. What if he decides he likes Katherine more than Kate? What do I do then?"

"We must all make the choice, one day, to do what is right or to do what is easy. They are not always the same, but in the long run, one is certainly better than the other. You must trust that no matter what happens, Harry will understand that one day and be thankful for those who showed him."

After a moment of silent reflection, we began making our way towards the castle.

 **XXX**

A couple of hours later, I was showered, dressed in clean clothes, and walking into the Defense classroom. Most of his things were already packed away. I made my way up the stairs to his office. He had his back to the door when I entered.

"I heard…but I hoped it wasn't true," I said.

He turned around with a sigh.

"Why?"

"Severus apparently wasn't very pleased with Sirius' escape. He let slip to his house this morning my condition. I am sure the owls demanding my immediate termination are already on their way."

"The greasy git. Where does he get off…"

"After last night, I don't deserve to be here."

"Last night?"

"I almost hurt a couple of students."

"Last night was a…unique night. It won't happen again."

"You can't be sure of that. No one can."

"Oh, I can't? Do you have another best friend locked in Azkaban for a murder he didn't commit, who's planning on escaping next year to hunt down the man who really committed the murder, and just so happens to be residing at the very school you're teaching at?"

Remus was tight lipped.

I took a deep breath and muttered, "This is precisely why I told Dumbledore I couldn't stay."

"What?"

I looked up at Remus.

"You're leaving?" he asked.

I nodded. "I gave Dumbledore my resignation a few weeks ago, after the Quidditch final. Because I…I just couldn't go on as we were. Fine one day, fighting the next. It's exhausting, Remus."

"So you'd give up teaching because of me?"

"'For' not 'because,'" I said quickly, catching him off guard. "There once was a time I'd have given up anything _for_ you, but I can't say it was all for you this time. It was for Jonathan too. I figured, with me gone, then Jonathan wouldn't have to feel guilty or try to hide the fact that he likes your classes…like he has been."

"I don't think he's liked them as of late."

"He has," I said. "I can see it every time I look at him. He's just as stubborn as we are on our worst days though, so he won't admit it, but… A mother knows, Remus."

I looked at his near empty desk, save for the map. It was open to his office. I saw our tiny dots, so close yet so far away. Then I saw another dot heading our way.

"Harry's coming," I said. "He'll be here in three…two…"

"Come on in, Harry," Remus called out just as I was about to saw 'one.' I looked over my shoulder to see a slightly perplexed Harry. I stepped aside so he could see the map before me.

"We saw you coming," I explained.

"Oh," he replied. His eyes scanned the room quickly before landing on Remus. "You've been sacked?"

"No; I've resigned," Remus said.

"But why?"

"Yes, why?" I asked, knowing full well he wouldn't listen to me, but perhaps he'd listen to Harry. Remus cast me a glare before answering Harry.

"It appears someone let slip the nature of my condition. Parents will not want someone like me teaching their kids."

"Someone like you? But you're the best Defense teacher we've ever had."

Remus smiled at Harry's remark. "I appreciate that, Harry, I do…"

"Surely Dumbledore can…"

"Dumbledore has already risked enough on my behalf."

I huffed. Of course he wouldn't listen. Harry turned to me, looking for help.

"I've already tried to talk him out of it, Harry. He won't listen to me either." I sighed and pulled a slip of paper out of my pocket.

"I came by to give you this," I said, handing the paper to Remus.

"What is it?"

"My address, and phone number… if you have a phone. If not, you can owl just keep it discreet. It's a very Muggle community with nosey, up-tight neighbors."

Harry snorted. "That's being polite. It's a horrible place to live; I don't know why you chose to stay there."

I smiled sadly. "I have my reasons." I looked back to Remus. "I'm also connected to the floo network, so…"

Remus nodded. "I'll get in touch with you, sooner rather than later."

"Right…well…I'll give you two a moment." I made to leave but turned back around at the door.

"Oh, and Harry," I called. "If you'd like, and if you're up for it, perhaps you, Ron, and Hermione could come by my chambers this evening. Jonathan can tell you where or perhaps Remus will return the map now that you're not being hunted by a raving lunatic. I'll answer any question you have for me then."

"Yeah…yeah, alright."

I left with a racing heart. It was out there now; it had to be done. I would tell Harry everthing, and then next week I'd tell Jonathan. I practically ran from Remus' room, and in doing so, I nearly flattened the Headmaster.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Sir. I… I was just giving Remus my contact information."

"You couldn't convince him to stay, I presume," Dumbledore replied.

"He hasn't listened to me for some time now. I know I shouldn't bother with asking, but will Snape receive any sort of reprimand for ruining Remus' life like this?"

Dumbledore frowned. "I don't believe there is much more I can do that would have a greater affect than Cornelius retracting his Order of Merlin."

I knew it was pointless to ask. What would he do? Deduct from his pay? Suspend him from teaching for two months? Deny his request once more to be Defense teacher? I was a bit disappointed, but I decided not to say as much.

Once again I was about to leave before I thought of something else. I turned back to Dumbledore.

"Sir, about that matter we discussed a few weeks ago…"

"Do you mean the matter of your resignation?"

I nodded. "If you've already found… if it's too late, I understand. But if it's not…"

I stopped as Dumbledore held up his hand. Then he looked at me from over the top of his glasses and smiled.

"What resignation, Miss Porter?"

"I…" I smiled. "Thank you, Professor."

 **XXX**

The hours slowly trickled by. I tried to sort out what I was going to say to Harry, but nothing came to mind. At least, nothing that made sense.

 _"Hi, Harry, I'm the Aunt you've always wanted but never knew you had because I kept my true identity hidden. But… we're all right, yeah? Oh! And of course that means that Jonathan is the cousin you wished Dudley was. We're still cool though, right? No need to unleash that Potter anger we both have…because I'm a Potter too…sort of…"_

Absolutely ridiculous. To think that Harry wouldn't be mad, would be to think that the world was flat. I knew there would be anger, which is why I told him to bring Hermione and Ron along. Perhaps one of them would be able to remain rational and hear my reasoning behind everything.

After what felt like hours of waiting, there was a hesitant knock on my door. My heart stopped immediately and I had to force swallow the lump in my throat. It was time to put on my Gryffindor face. I was a leopard; there wasn't much I truly feared. I'd become and Animagus at fifteen because I loved a werewolf. I could face a thirteen year old boy and his anger issues.

"…be the map is wrong?" Ron suggested.

"Oh no, it's creators were too brilliant for that," I said.

I smiled softly at the trio, but Harry only gave me a stiff look in return. I stepped aside to let them in and offered them a cup of tea. Hermione and Ron accepted, but Harry did not.

"There's nothing like a strong cuppa to get you through a difficult situation." I said as we all took a seat around my lounge.

"First off, Ron, how's the leg? Remus said you broke it."

"Oh…er—yeah, I did, but it's alright now. Bit sore, but…" Ron shrugged.

"Yes, magic can mend bones, but the nerves surrounding it take a bit longer to adjust. After I broke my hands it took weeks for them to feel normal again."

"Which bone in your hand did you break?" Hermione asked, trying to get a conversation flowing.

"Um, well… I believe there are twenty-seven bones in each hand, and I think the final count was… twenty-one in each hand. It may have only been twenty in my right."

"What did you do?" Ron asked with wide eyes.

"Oh that's…another story…for another day. Speaking of stories, what did they tell you about last night? About me, that is?"

"Everything," Harry said. "We told him everything we knew. But you haven't told us everything, have you, Professor?"

"No, I don't suppose I've told you much at all."

"You know Sirius, don't you?" Hermione asked.

"Yes, better than most actually."

"Is he the boy?" Harry asked. "The one from your Patronus lesson, the one who helped you cast your Patronus? Do you love him?"

I smiled. "I do love him, but as a brother, nothing more. He was a part of many of the happy memories I tired, but he was not _the_ boy."

"It was Professor Lupin," Hermione stated. Apparently Harry had told her enough of the lesson for her to deduce the rest. That or, she was extremely observant.

I nodded as I took a sip of my tea. "Yes. Remus and I go back to our first year at Hogwarts. I can still remember glancing across the table and seeing this quiet-looking boy who appeared to be as amazed at being there as I felt."

I smiled at the memory. I could have dived deeper, but Hermione brought me back

"When did you move to Ilvermorny?"

My smile turned sheepish.

"You never went, did you?" She glanced at Harry to see his reaction but I tried to avoid it.

"No, but I read about it, studied it quite a bit from a friend who did attend. He claims it's the finest magic school around."

"Rubbish," Ron muttered.

"That's what I tried telling him, but…" I shrugged.

"So you went to Hogwarts…with Sirius?" Harry asked. "…With my parents?"

I swallowed the lump in that suddenly formed in my throat.

"Yes."

Ron and Hermione looked at Harry with caution, while he kept a firm lock on me with a tight jaw.

"But, Professor Porter," Hermione began. "If you've known him since first year, then why didn't Professor Lupin seem to recognize you first term?"

"And now we get to it…" I set my tea cup down on and took a deep breath. There was no turning back from this now.

"What you all must understand…What _you_ must understand, Harry… is that during the war it became necessary for me to go into hiding to protect my life and Jonathan's life. There were certain persons who wanted me dead, and they would have stopped at nothing to see me as such. Many good friends gave their life because they refused to give up mine." I swiped away the falling tears.

"Sirius suggested the Fidelius Charm and James insisted on it. I made your father my Keeper. But I'm claustrophobic, Harry. It wasn't discovered until I was living under the charm. Jonathan can attest to it though; he has, unfortunately, witnessed an episode or two. I began experimenting with Transfiguration, as I have quite the knack for it. I used it and a bit of an illusion charm to create the face you see now. This illusion allowed me to leave the confines of the Fidelius Charm but remain hidden. It's how I survived.

"After the war, I kept the illusion in place for various reasons. Remus didn't appear to recognize me first term because he had never seen this face before. I kept it a secret from everyone. If James knew I was sneaking out of the house every week, he would have insisted that I move back in with him and Lily. And I couldn't do that."

"Why would my dad care if you were sneaking out?" Harry asked with a stiff voice.

"Because…I haven't simply been living under a different face, but a different name as well," I replied. Then I let the illusion fade to reveal the scars beneath. "This is the face your father new me best by…when he knew me as Kate…Potter."

There was a hum in the air like all sound had suddenly been sucked from it. The trio sat perfectly still.

"You were my dad's…"

"Sister," I finished for him. "I was adopted by the Potters when I was ten after my own parents were presumed dead."

"Presumed?" Hermione questioned.

"Yes. They weren't really, but my father told my mother _I_ was dead, so she wouldn't look for me. He didn't much care either way until years later when he thought I tarnished the family name and decided to eradicate me. He failed, obviously, but it never stopped him from trying.

"He's the reason you went into hiding," Hermione said.

"Yes, he's one…"

"Who cares, Hermione!" Harry suddenly yelled, jumping to his feet.

"Harry…"

"She knew my dad! She knew him and she never told me!"

"She more than just knew him; she lived with him," Ron pointed out.

"And you knew my Mum too, didn't you?" Harry yelled, turning on me.

"Yes, I knew her. We shared a dorm for seven years…"

"And you never said a word to me!"

"Harry, please, try to understand…"

"I understand perfectly, Ms. Pr—Professor." Harry changed at the last minute. "You've known me how long now? And you've been lying the whole time! You and Jonathan!"

"No!" I said firmly. "Jonathan has nothing to do with this, Harry."

"So you've lied to him too, have you, your own son! And you've lied to me! I don't know why I should sit here and listen to anymore lies from you!" Then Harry stalked out and slammed the door behind him.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and heaved a great sigh. That went about as well as could be expected I guess.

"Will you two see to it that he does not mention any of this to Jonathan just yet? I will sit down with him next week."

"We'll try, Professor Porter," Hermione said, before she and Ron left as well.

The moment they were gone, I gave in to my tears.

* * *

 **Well... Harry knows now. I hope that scene didn't disappoint. I find it very hard to write Harry. Please let me know what you think.**

 **And please, I need your help. I am nearing the end in this story, but there is still so much more in store for Kate and Remus. I plan to take their story through the end of the second war. My dilemma though...is do I make Part 3 a separate book, or simply keep it all in this one. It's looking like this part will be about 30 chapters and will stop at the beginning of GoF. The third part will pick up at the end of GoF and carry on through DH.**

 **So in your opinion, should I make the final part a separate book and have a trilogy (I do tend to love those) or keep it all under Perfect Illusion. If I make a separate book, I need a title so if you have any suggestions for that I'd love to hear them as well.**

 **Thanks for sticking with me!**


	26. Number 5 Privet Drive

**Chapter 25**

 **Number 5 Privet Drive**

The next week was hell, pure and simple. I lived every minute in fear, certain that it was the minute that Jonathan would barge through my door demanding to know what Harry was on about. Fortunately, Harry didn't seem to have inherited his father's vengeful nature. Jonathan remained unaware.

I took the liberties of owling Remus myself. We sent owls back and forth discussing Jonathan. We both agreed that we should tell him together, and we planned to do it the first Saturday after school let out. I had to do it quickly before I lost my nerve.

 _ **18 June 1994**_

I pulled aside the curtain to peer out the window by the door. Remus stood on my front stoop, with his head bowed, his hands in his pockets, and his feet shuffling. I opened the door and allowed him to enter. He followed me silently into the lounge where I fixed him a cup of tea.

"Where is Jonathan?" he asked.

"He stayed the night at the Burrow. I made him promise to be home by four though."

Remus looked about the room at the various photographs and trinkets that had been collected over the years.

"These are all Muggle photographs." It was more of a statement than a question.

"This is a Muggle neighborhood; we have to keep up appearances. … Not that we have many visitors," I added at Remus' look. "Still, I make Jonathan keep his magical things in his room, just in case. The last thing I need is a Ministry Official knocking on my door."

"They probably wouldn't knock; they'd just use the floo."

"Yes, because that's much more discreet if I should be entertaining."

Remus grinned and turned back to the photographs. He picked up one that had Jonathan and Harry in it; they both had large smiles on their faces.

"When was this taken?"

"Jonathan was nine, Harry eight. The Dursleys had gone to the beach for the weekend. They dropped Harry off at Mrs. Figg's, but she fell ill on Friday night so she asked me to take him in. He looked so miserable when he arrived; he really wanted to go to the beach, but you know I'm not much for large bodies of water."

"Cat's usually aren't," he said.

"Not usually, no. Anyways, Harry was miserable, and Jonathan had just started studying the planets in school. So I took them both to the planetarium at Bristol and we had a very enjoyable time."

"And this one here," I continued as I picked up a photo from the shelf above. It had all three of us in it smiling.

"This one was taken just a few years ago, before Harry got his Hogwarts letter. Petunia and Vernon were taking Dudley and a friend to the zoo for Dudley's birthday. They were going to leave Harry with Mrs. Figg again, but she had fallen the night before and broken her leg. None of Petunia's other…acquaintances…were available, so she brought him over to me.

"Once again I could see how upset Harry was at being left out, so I took him and Jonathan to the zoo. I didn't know at the time that's where they went. We spent the better part of the day hiding from them.

"I remember this one moment we were all approaching the same corner. I could hear Petunia's grating voice. So I grabbed the boy's, threw them against the wall, and cast a quick disillusionment charm to conceal us. The four of them walked right by without seeing us."

"Why do I feel like there's more to this story?"

"Because there is." I shrugged and smirked. "We eventually caught up to them in the Reptile House. I tired convincing Jonathan and Harry not to go in because everything in there was icky and slimy, but…"

"…But they're boys," Remus finished.

"They're boys, and they like icky and slimy. Plus, Jonathan reminded me that they had let me linger at the Great Cat Exhibit."

"So what happened once they were in the Reptile House?"

"Well… Harry may have vanished the glass his cousin was banging on making his cousin fall into the exhibit and setting loose the python within before making the glass re-appear."

"And Dudley was where when the glass re-appeared?"

"Inside the exhibit still." I grinned.

"I don't imagine that went over very well with the Zoo Keepers, or the Dursleys," Remus said with a chuckle.

"Better than you might think actually. You see I freed Dudley just as the Zoo Keeper arrived and distracted Vernon and Petunia. So when the Zoo Keeper went to inspect the cage, Dudley was on the outside of it again. Petunia was beside herself. The Keeper asked me if I knew anything about what had happened, but…"

"Let me guess. You feigned innocence."

"There was very little feigning going on, Remus. I assure you."

"Right. What happened after that?"

"Vernon looked over and saw Harry and Jonathan laughing. And he pieced together that we had something to do with it, but of course he couldn't prove it. I haven't been asked to keep Harry since though, and Petunia only gives me the stink eye now, but… It was worth it. You know, since he started attending Hogwarts, they're too scared to let Harry near anyone lest they discover the Dursley's disgrace."

Remus continued to scan the lounge asking about this photo or that photo, while sipping his tea. I was glad to tell him about every moment. Then we got to a shelf that displayed various pieces of artwork created by Jonathan through his days at primary school. Remus picked up a ceramic hand print.

"That's Jonathan's when he was six. They made them in school for Mother's Day."

"Did they do one for each hand?" Remus asked as he picked up another one. I was suddenly hit with emotion.

"No," I choked out. "That's Harry's. He made his a year later and he…he gave it to me because…he—he knew Petunia would have just thrown it out. Now I've… I've lost him, Remus. I've lost him. I've ruined what we had. He… he hates me now. And I'm a-a-about t-to lose Jon-ath-an too…"

I began gasping for air, like my lungs suddenly weren't getting enough oxygen.

"Kate? Kate, what's wrong?" Remus turned to me quickly. He grabbed my arms and steadied me as I nearly fell while trying to get away. I struggled in his arms. I wanted space. I needed air.

"Kate?"

"I—I can… I can't breathe… Remus, I…"

I was beginning to feel woozy and the room spun on its axis.

"Shit! Kate, what do I do? How can I help?"

I struggled to maintain focus. I knew I could never make it to the door, and I'd lost motor function. I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed Remus by the shirt and pulled him flush against my body then I buried my face in his robes.

The problem wasn't that I wasn't getting enough oxygen; it was that I was getting too much. So I used Remus like a paper bag and inhaled my own exhale to balance out my system. And with each breath I took in, I inhaled his calming aroma as well. Slowly my breathing evened out and the room stopped swaying. I pulled away from Remus, red-faced and puffy-eyed.

"You're not going to lose him, Kate," he said softly. "I won't let that happen."

I stepped out of his arms and stumbled onto the couch. I bent over double with my head in my hands. I was breathing better, but it was still difficult.

"Please, Kate, is there anything I can do to help?"

I silently looked up at him and saw that he genuinely was concerned.

"Cold…damp….cloth," I said.

"Cold, damp, cloth, go it."

He headed back towards the kitchen and I dropped my head back into my hands. I heard him open and close several cupboards looking for a towel.

"Under the sink!"

A moment later I heard water running. And a moment after that he was back with a towel in one hand and a Honeydukes chocolate bar in the other.

"So you remember where I keep the chocolate, but not the towels?"

"Some things are more essential than others." He didn't say which was which in this scenario, but he didn't need to.

I took the towel and folded it before placing it on my forehead and leaning back. Then I took the chocolate bar, broke it in half, and offered it to him.

"A consolation gift for having to bear witness to my melt down," I said weakly.

"Do those happen often?"

"Not in recent years."

"Not since you made the illusion permanent?"

"More or less."

We sat there for a while, eating our chocolate and talking. We tried to work out a plan, but there was no real plan that could be established. Neither of us knew for certain how Jonathan would react. At ten minutes past four, the fireplace turned green and Jonathan stepped out.

"I'm sorry, Mum," he said as he brushed soot off his tee-shirt. "I really am. I swear I didn't realize what time it was."

"It's alright, Jonathan. I'm not upset."

"You're not? Well in that case, can I…"

There was the faint sound of a toilet flushing.

"Is there someone here?" Jonathan asked. He turned around just as Remus walked through the doorway. His face registered shock before he quickly forced it away. He turned back to look at me with wary caution. I smiled faintly.

"Come have a seat, Jonathan. I think it's time we talk about something that is long overdue."

"Umm…well, that's not ominous at all."

He walked over and took Remus' vacant seat on the couch next to me. Remus took a seat in a chair on Jonathan's other side. I tried to collect my thoughts and figure out how to begin. The one thing that Remus and I did agree on was that I should be the one to tell him.

"Wait, Mum, before you say anything, can I just ask one thing?"

"Sure, Jonathan, go on," I said with a little too much relief.

"Does this have anything to with the fact that… Professor Lupin is…a werewolf…?"

Remus bowed his head, as Jonathan continued.

"…Or the fact that…he's…my dad?"

It was my turn to bow my head as I failed to fight off falling tears.

"How did you know?" Remus asked, looking up at Jonathan.

"What? That you were a werewolf? That was easy; I pieced that together first term."

"What gave me away?"

"Nothing…to anyone else at least. But when your mother studies the stars as much as mine does, you tend to notice certain patterns. And I noticed that your 'illnesses' seemed to wax and wane every twenty-eight days or so."

Remus nodded a faint smile on his lips as he glanced my way. "And for the other?" he asked.

"Well… that one was more difficult to figure out. I didn't start putting that together until well into the second term. There… there just seemed to be … _something_ between the two of you; some history I didn't know about. But the two things that really gave it away were when I…defended Katie…"

"You mean when you got into a fight and broke a boy's nose?" I asked, speaking for the first time.

Jonathan gave a cheeky grin. "You say 'fight,' I say 'defend.' It's all a matter of semantics, but that's not the point here, Mum."

I looked over at Remus to find him chuckling.

"Don't laugh, Remus. That's not funny," I scolded.

Remus just grinned. "It is a little."

"How did _that_ make you realize that he was your father?" I asked, ignoring Remus and turning back to Jonathan.

Jonathan hesitated for just a moment, and I realized that had been the first time Remus or I had actually confirmed Jonathan's suspicion.

"I… well, you did actually," he said at last. "You asked him what _he_ would do. You let him choose my punishment. You've never done that before with any other Professor, not even McGonagall."

"And what was the second thing that gave it away?" Remus asked.

"Simple. The fact that you're sitting here right now for this big discussion."

Remus smiled. "You're a very bright boy."

"I have a good mother," Jonathan replied with the smallest bite.

"Yes…yes you do," Remus said with a sigh. "I'm sorry I wasn't around while you were growing up. I know there are a lot of moments I missed, moments neither of us can get back." Remus paused as he ran a hand over his face. I glanced at Jonathan and saw visible tension in his features.

"Look," Jonathan said. "We can discuss why you weren't there…later, but for now… I'll just assume it was for good reason."

Remus nodded. "We can talk about it whenever you're ready. I just want you to know, that I _want_ to be there now, if…if you'll have me."

Jonathan didn't respond instantly, and I knew it was because of the sudden moistness I could see forming in his eyes. I reached out to take his hand.

"That may take…some time, but I… I think…I think I want that too," he said finally. I could see Remus' shoulders slump with relief.

"There is one other thing I'd like to know," Jonathan said "There's one thing that still confuses me. And it's 'why.' Why did you not seem to know at the start of the school year? The two of you acted like you hardly knew each other. I mean, I know it's been a while, at least fifteen years I guess. But surely you two haven't changed so much that you wouldn't still recognize each other."

Remus looked to me. That was my cue to explain. I gave Jonathan's hand a light squeeze before beginning.

"You're right; Remus hasn't changed much. I can still see the boy I fell in love with. But me… I…"

I took a deep breath, and then I told him everything. I told him all about how I attended Hogwarts and not Ilvermorny. I told him about the adoption and how I was really James' sister, and therefore Harry's Aunt. I told him how Remus and I finally got together in sixth year and how I fell in love with him.

Then I began telling him about the war after school. I told him Remus and I simply didn't work out like we'd hoped, and so we parted ways. I told him I was already pregnant when we split, but that I never told Remus. Therefore Remus never knew he had fathered a child; things would have been very different if he had known.

Next I told him about going into hiding under the Fidelius Charm. When I got to the claustrophobia and panic attacks, Jonathan reached over and took my other hand because he knew something of what they were like. But as I began telling him about the illusion, I could see his support begin to fade. As I let the illusion fade, he dropped both hands and stood up. He paced for a bit with his hand rubbing across his forehead. I knew he was processing everything; I was already crying.

"I… You…" Jonathan began a couple of times, but he too was finding the way to begin difficult.

"Why?"

"Jonathan, I told you why. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't live in a cage."

"No, I understand why you created the illusion, as odd as it sounds. I've seen your little spells, and they aren't pleasant to witness. But what I don't understand is why you didn't tell me before now. Did you not trust me to keep your secret?"

"This has nothing to do with trust, Jonathan. You were just a child; anything could have easily slipped out."

"Alright, but then why not tell me when I was a little older? Why now? Is it just because he came back?" he pointed to Remus. "Had he not shown up this year, would you still have told me? Would you ever have told me?"

I wanted to say that I would have told him, but I'd be lying. And Jonathan knew as much.

"I… I don't know what to say right now, Mum."

So he said nothing. He simply left and walked out the garden door. I jumped to my feet and called after him, but he didn't stop. When I tried to follow him, Remus stopped me.

"Why don't you let me talk to him?"

I nodded and then watched through my tears as he too left.

I couldn't simply sit still and wait for them to come back inside. I paced and I meandered around the lounge. I found myself back over by the bookshelves. I picked up Jonathan's ceramic hand and traced my fingers over the tiny grooves. My tears collected in its palm.

When Jonathan did come back in, he didn't say a word to me. He barely even glanced my way before running up the stairs to his room. I turned to Remus, anxious to find out what had been said. Remus looked nervous ad I knew he didn't have good news for me.

"He… He wants to come back to my place with me, and…" Remus paused, looking me in the eye at last. "And I said he could."

I nearly lost it and my words came out with a squeak. "He wants to leave?"

"Just for a few days," Remus reassured. "He'll be back before the full moon."

"The full moon? That's three weeks away. How could you possible agree to something like this?"

"He's upset, Kate, and like you he's asking for a little bit of space to mull it over. At first he said something about going back to the Burrow, but then he asked about coming with me. How could I deny him?"

"You said I wasn't going to lose him, but what do you think this is? He's already choosing you over me."

"He's not…You're his mother. You can't lose him, Kate; I promise. I can better see to that if he comes with me, and it will give us a chance to connect as more than a Professor and Student. Please, Kate, don't fight him on this; it will only make things worse. Give him time to cool off, and he'll come back willingly. I told him I could convince you to let him come."

Jonathan appeared at the top of the stairs just then with a bag in hand. We locked eyes for the briefest of moments before he looked away. With tears running down my face, I nodded and Remus sighed.

They were gone soon after.


	27. Padfoot and Leo

**Chapter 26**

 **Padfoot and Leo**

I was in shock when I arrived at the Burrow. When Molly walked out fifteen minutes later, I was still in shock. When she said the only name she knew me by, I lost it. I sobbed as she led me inside and fixed me a cup of soothing herbal tea. After about twenty minutes, and a horde of strange looks from the boys, I was finally calm enough to talk.

I told her and Arthur everything…about me, about Remus and Jonathan, and even about Sirius. The words came tumbling out as easily and as steadily as the tears had. I held back none of my concerns about losing my boys; I kept no secret hidden. All the while, Molly never once pulled back, created space between us, or looked disgruntled. In the end she actually moved towards me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I don't understand. H-how are you not mad at me right now?" I asked, choking back tears.

"Why would I be?" Molly asked.

"Because, I…I lied about who I was."

"You did not," she insisted.

I thought perhaps she had misheard me, so I looked to Arthur. Be he didn't seem at all surprised by his wife's reaction.

"You may have lied about your name," Molly continued. "But I don't like you because I think your name is Katherine. It doesn't change who you are. I like you because you're my friend. You could tell me you wanted to change your name to Bob tomorrow, and I'd like you just the same; though, I would question your motives."

I gave a snort of laughter before my eyes filled with tears once more. "But…I…I killed your brothers."

"Nonsense. Dolohov killed them."

"Yes, Dolohov, my father. The father I pulled from the fire. I saved him and he killed them. Just like he killed Ruth, and Janice, and…"

"And countless others, but that does not mean that you killed them."

"Katherine, your actions that day came from a place of pure selflessness. What Dolohov chose to do with his second chance at life was his decision and his alone. His actions in no way reflect upon you or your character," Arthur said.

I was moved to tears by his sincerity.

"Arthur's right you know," Molly said.

I nodded as I brushed away my tears. "I guess with the way my other rounds of confession have gone, I wasn't expecting this reaction."

Molly smiled warmly and tapped my hand. Then with a sudden burst of energy she asked, "Have you had dinner?"

"No, I…"

"Good! Then it's settled! You'll eat with us tonight! I have a chicken roasting."

There really was no point in trying to persuade her otherwise. If Molly said you were eating with them, then you were eating with them.

 **XXX**

The days passed slowly. Molly came by floo every so often to see how I was doing, but there was no word from Jonathan. I'd written to Remus a couple of times and he wrote back ensuring me that Jonathan was fine and that he'd still be home before the full moon. But everything else was silent. I had no idea what they were discussing or what they were doing.

I do know that they went to see Remus' dad at some point because Lyall had sent me a rather nasty letter. He was upset that I had kept his grandson from him for nearly fifteen years. I think he may have been more upset than Remus was; or, at least, Remus had more of Hope's gentleness than I realized. I didn't bother sending a response to Lyall trying to defend my actions; I knew how stubborn he could be.

Things remained quiet on the Harry front as well. I'd written to him a few times but received nothing in response. I found out from Mrs. Fig that Harry had stayed with her when the Dursleys celebrated Dudley's birthday.

The house was abnormally silent…and it was driving me mad! I could feel that old pressure creeping in, and this time nothing seemed to alleviate it. I spent my days in the garden with a book and my nights with the stars. The pressure remained. I shopped in the local market and I flooed to London for an hour or two. The pressure remained. I took long hot bubble baths and I slept in my leopard form. The pressure remained.

The pressure didn't simply remain, however, it slowly grew worse. I could feel myself sinking into madness with no one there to reign me in.

 **XXX**

One Sunday afternoon, two weeks after Jonathan left, I was sitting in the lounge staring at nothing when a dog barked outside. I ignored it. I was trying to work on controlling my breathing. I actually had to concentrate on breathing in and out at a steady pace so as to not hyperventilate. Breathing was supposed to be autonomous.

The barking persisted.

It sounded as though the dog was close by. I tried to continue ignoring it, but eventually I got up to see what was going on.

I opened my front door with a start. There was a rather large, rather shaggy, black dog sitting on my stoop. It sat on its hind legs and cocked its head as it looked at me. I just stared back at it. I was in shock again. The dog whimpered, jarring me from my daze.

"I'll let you in, but I'm not bathing you," I said. Then I opened the door wider and stepped aside so it could enter, but the dog didn't move.

"Come on…Padfoot."

That jolted the dog into motion and he pranced inside. I locked the door behind him, and dropped the illusion as I turned. I caught a quick glimpse of a man with long, shaggy hair, and tattered prison robes before I threw my arms around his neck. He stumbled slightly, and tentatively wrapped his arms around me.

"K-Kate?" His voice was weak and hoarse.

"It's me; it's me, Sirius," I said tearfully. Then I stepped back and shoved him lightly. "You left me. Why? Why did you leave me? James was dead, and you left me alone."

I began crying as I continued to shove his shoulders. Sirius held on.

"I thought I lost you…like I lost them…like I'm still losing them…"

It soon became too much for me, and I collapsed into a sobbing heap in his arms. Sirius didn't say anything; he just held me close and let me cry.

 **XXX**

"You smell." My voice was hoarse from crying. It was maybe an hour later and I was still in Sirius' arms. We had sunk down to the floor as he held me.

"I know." His voice was hoarse from disuse.

"Really bad," I added.

"I know."

"Like a dog…"

"I know." I could hear the smile in his voice.

"…Who's been rolling around in garbage…"

"I…"

"…in the rain…"

"…"

"…with a skunk."

He sighed. "I know."

We sat there in silence for a while more before I sat up, wiped the dry tears from my eyes, and pushed myself to my feet. I held out a hand towards him.

"Come on," I said. He took my hand and I pulled him to his feet. I began leading him up the stairs.

"Where are we going?"

"I told you, you smell."

I took him to the bathroom and began prepping everything he needed.

"I thought you said you weren't going to bathe me," he tried teasing.

"But I never said I wasn't going to make you bathe yourself." I turned to face him and offered a weak smile. He smiled weakly back.

"You do remember how to bathe, right?" That earned me a genuine grin.

"It's just like flying a broom."

"Merlin! I hope not; I'd hate to imagine what I smell like then."

"Like roses and cat litter."

"Eww. That's repugnant. Glad to know you didn't lose any of your charm."

There was a pause; our small smiles faded.

"Here's a rag to wash with. Scrub hard, you really, _really_ smell. And there's a towel for you dry off with. Take as long as you need. I'll find you some clothes, and then…" I gingerly held up a bit of his sleeve. "We'll burn these later."

I dropped his sleeve and began making my way towards the door. Just as I reached it, Sirius called my name and I turned to face him. No words were exchanged though, only a look, a look of pain, and hurt, and countless years lost.

About an hour later, I heard Sirius padding down the stairs. I quickly swiped at my tears and stepped away from the dinner I was preparing. Sirius paused in the doorway and looked around the room before his eyes landed on me.

"Kate?"

He sounded confused. I touched a hand to my cheek and realized I'd applied the illusion without even knowing it. I dropped it quickly.

"Yeah, it's me."

"That's impressive," he said as he moved into the room a little more.

"It's…" I didn't know how to begin anymore, so I didn't even try.

"It's a good look for you."

My eyes shot back to him in surprise.

"Not that this isn't a good look as well," he said quickly. "Possibly the best, and by that I mean they're both... equally great? … Look at it this way, at least neither one is blonde."

I smiled faintly. He was trying to be his old self and he was beginning to look like it too. Only his hair was too long and his face to scruffy.

"Come here," I said as I pulled out a dining room chair. I summoned a pair of scissors and Jonathan's electric razor as Sirius walked over. He seemed to know what I was going to do, and didn't protest.

"Just a trim, please; not too much off the top," he teased.

"You'll take what you get and like it," I replied, a faint smile back on my lips.

I snipped, and I clipped, and I sheared. It took a little bit of time, especially since I had to periodically tend to dinner. But eventually I had him all trimmed. His hair now stopped just above his shoulders, as requested, and his bushy beard was shaped into something more appealing. When I was finished, I conjured a mirror before going to finish dinner.

"Not too shabby," he said as he ran a hand over his beard. "You know, Kate, if this whole professor thing doesn't work out I think you could have a future in this."

"What? Professional dog grooming?" I said flatly. Then I looked a Sirius and smirked.

"Good to know you haven't lost that Potter cheek."

I hid my faltering smile by turning to fix our plates. I brought his over with mine while our drinks floated behind. We sat down together; Sirius looked around.

"Wait, is it just the two of us? Where's Little Man?"

I hesitated before answering. "He's not so little anymore."

"No… no, I guess he's not."

I said nothing more as I fought to keep my tears back.

"Kate… Where is your son?"

I couldn't fight them anymore. My fork clattered to the floor as I dropped it. My tears came fast and strong.

"Kate? Kate where is he?"

"He's…he's gone… he's…"

Sirius abandoned his plate and knelt before me. He took both of my hands in his.

"Kate…"

"He's with Remus," I said. "I…I kept all of this from him. I hid Kate from him. He…he never knew. He only knew Katherine Porter. But now… now he does. I had to tell him, and when I did the first thing he wanted to do was leave…just like his father did."

"Merlin! Kate, I…" Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "How long has he been gone?"

"T-two weeks. H-he hates me."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"He does. I've lost him. I…I…" I dissolved into tears and could say no more.

Our dinner sat forgotten as we moved to the couch. I slowly confessed everything to him: the panic attacks, the secret outings with Peter, the creation of Katherine, and the secrets I'd kept from Jonathan and Harry. Sirius, like Molly, did not pull away. After a while we floated our plates over and ate at the couch.

"Merlin, Kate, I wish you would have told us," Sirius said as he nibbled on his chicken.

"You know as well as I do what James would have done if he knew," I replied. "He would have insisted that I move back in with him. And that wasn't an option for me."

"Maybe not. Maybe one of us could have moved in with you."

"Pete practically did."

Sirius growled. "That back-stabbing, conniving monstrous little wan…"

"Sirius, please. He was our friend."

"Are you so sure of that?"

"Yes! No one is that good of an actor."

"You are apparently," he mumbled under his breath.

I stopped eating abruptly.

"Sorry, that was…"

"…fair. It was fair, Sirius. I made a mistake; I'll own it. I made a lot of mistakes."

"Actually, it sounds to me like you only made one mistake. You just made it over…and over….and over…and…"

"I get it, Sirius. Merlin, you're a handful." I smiled. "I've missed it."

"You mean Little Man isn't keeping you busy still?"

"His name is Jonathan."

"I know," he said a little defensively.

"I know you do," I replied softly.

We shared a moment of silence.

"Anyways, if he hears you call him Little Man, he'll be sorely displeased."

I sent our plates back to the kitchen as we nestled into the couch a little more.

"Tell me, Sirius, how did you do it?"

"Do what exactly?"

"How did you escape Azkaban?"

Sirius fell silent and I could feel his body tense beside mine.

"I guess I have you to thank for that."

"What?" I looked at him.

"The first year was hell," he began. "I was miserable enough without the aid of the dementors. I kept seeing James and Lily's bodies. I kept thinking about you, knowing you were out there somewhere alone and hurting, worried that Peter would find you and hurt you more… or worse…turn you against me."

I took his hand in mine.

"Then I remembered what you said about your leopard saving your life; how it kept you sane. I figured I didn't have anything to lose if it didn't work, so I tried it."

"And it worked? Against the dementors?"

He nodded his head. "They can't sense animals the way they do people. When I was transformed, I was presumed dead so they let me be. There was the periodic visitor, however, and I had to eat so I transformed in and out. Then when Fudge came by last summer with a copy of the Prophet, I saw the picture on the front. It was of the family that won the galleon draw…"

"The Weasleys; they're friends of mine."

Sirius nodded. " _He_ was with the youngest boy… Harry's friend."

"Ron? Of course! He took Scabbers everywhere."

"Once I knew where Peter was, I knew I had to get out, I had to get to him and make him pay for everything. When I transformed I slipped off the manacles, and I slipped through the bars. I found an open window on the first floor and jumped. I swam to shore."

"You swam to shore? Sirius, Azkaban is on an uncharted island in the North Sea."

"I didn't say it was an easy swim."

I laughed softly and pushed his shoulder with my own. He pushed back and laughed too.

"All that being said, I still think you and Moony should have told us you were having problems."

"We're going back to that now, are we?"

"We could have helped."

"How?"

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. "We would have talked to him. Made him see reason. Forced him to stay. Something."

I shook my head. "Staying had to be his choice. I needed him to choose me, just once, over the mission. And you know we never were the ones to talk about our problems with anyone but each other."

"Yeah, but if the two of you stopped talking to each other, then who did that leave you with?"

I was silent for a moment before responding. "We didn't want to be that couple that fought in front of their friends all the time."

"What are you talking about? James and Lily fought in front of us every day, sometimes twice a day before they were a couple."

"Over stupid things like where to put the salt shaker, not over anything of consequence like marriage or kids. And the fights we had were vicious. You don't know the extent of them, Sirius; you weren't there."

"Because you wouldn't let me be there."

"That was kind of the point. We didn't' want you to know. I loved him…so much." Tears sprang back up and I fought to push them aside. "I wanted to show the world how much by marrying him; I didn't care about the stigmatism that would come from being married to a bloody werewolf. I was willing to take it because I loved him that much. And I thought he felt the same… I guess I was wrong. He just didn't love me like that."

"That's rubbish, Kate!" Sirius said adamantly. "I saw the way he looked at you, even in the end."

"You saw only what we wanted you to see."

"I know what I saw in the shack when he confronted Peter about his lies. I saw the pain he still carries around. He cares for you, Kate; I know he does."

"Maybe he does care...for Kate, but not for Katherine."

Sirius shook his head like he still didn't believe me, but I couldn't argue it anymore. I dissolved into teas again. Sirius wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him.

* * *

 **So, this chapter makes me slightly sad just because it's so full of Padfoot & Leo emotions. Arg! But I'm so glad to finally get them back together. I plan to explore their relationship a lot more in the next book; yes, book. I've decided to do a separate book for Part 3 (I'm still working on a title at the moment though). Part 3 will be the final piece though and it will encompass the 2nd Wizarding War against Voldemort. **

**We are nearly finished with this part though. I'm looking at 30-31 chapters, depending on how the editing goes. Up next...We get to see just what Jonathan and Remus are up to.**

 **Hope you enjoyed the read. Feel free to let me know what you think! I love hearing from you.**


	28. Mending Bonds

**Alright...We're jumping back a little to see how Jonathan and Remus are getting along.**

* * *

 **Chapter 27**

 **Mending Bonds**

 _ **Two Weeks ago**_

 _ **18 June 1994**_

With a pop, Jonathan and Remus arrived at the little cottage in Yorkshire that Remus called home. Almost immediately upon arriving Jonathan pulled his arm from Remus'. Remus quickly began picking up while Jonathan looked around the open room. The sparse furniture was all tattered and roughly patched. There were faint scratch marks covering the wooden surfaces. Off to the side Jonathan saw a doorway that led to a bedroom. The door next to it, he assumed was the loo; there was one last door on the other side of that.

"I…I know it's not much," Remus said shamefully. "But it serves its purpose."

"No, it's…it's great," Jonathan reassured.

There was a moment when the two stood in an awkward silence.

"Are…are you hungry?" Remus asked. "I'm not as good as a cook as your mum, but I can put something together."

"Yeah…sure…"

 _ **22 June 1994**_

With a great, final push, Jonathan and Remus managed to get the mattress around the door frame. Then they collapsed against the nearest wall, breathless and massaging their sore arms.

Remus' small cottage was labeled a two bedroom, but since it had only been him for the last fifteen years he only used one. The other was more of a collect all without a bed. For the first few nights, Remus and Jonathan had traded off on who slept on Remus' bed and who slept on the couch. Finally Remus decided to make the second bedroom a functional one; he and Jonathan went out and bought a bed.

"You know," Jonathan began between breaths. "That would have been much easier if you just used your magic."

Remus chuckled. "Yeah, it probably would have been. But my Mum used to say, 'Anything worth having, is worth putting forth the effort.'"

Jonathan looked at Remus and raised an eyebrow. Remus chuckled again.

"My mother was a Muggle; growing up she always insisted that my Dad let me learn to do things the Muggle way, with manual labor."

Remus rose to his feet, groaning as his bones cracked.

"Ah… I say we did enough manual labor moving this in. Do you agree?"

Jonathan nodded vigorously.

"Good." Remus pulled out his wand and gave it a wave. The parts of the bed rose up and assembled itself. The mattress floated on to the frame, and the fresh set of sheets began to lay themselves on top.

"Hey… Remus…" Jonathan began; Remus turned around. "Do…do you remember over Christmas break, you…you said you could introduce me to your dad, if Mum agreed, and she did…"

Remus nodded. "Yeah, I remember. Why?"

"Do…do you still think you can do that?"

Remus smiled. "Yeah, I think I can. He's away right now, but he should be back by this weekend. I'll owl him and set something up."

Remus turned back to the fully assembled bed.

"Bugger!"

"What?" Jonathan asked as he jumped to his feet. "What is it?"

"Nothing, I…I just realized…I'm going to have to tell my father that _he's_ a grandfather."

There was a moment's pause before they both started laughing.

 _ **29 June 1994**_

"…When you're fifteen and a girl as beautiful was your mother was asks you to walk with her you…"

"…you walk with her," Jonathan finished and Remus nodded. "I get it. So what happened?"

"Nothing at first; I thought it was just an innocent walk. But your mother, she could be quite sly when she wanted to be. She was steadily leading us down to the Forbidden Forest. Well, as soon as we got to the edge of it, we were approached by this large, black dog. I warned her against it, but Kate…your mother went right up to it and started petting it.

"Not long after, the dog took off into the forest and your mother pursued it. Again I tried to stop her, but once she sets her mind to something there is no stopping her. We got a good ways in before Kate and the dog stopped. Then out of nowhere, like some cheesy Muggle kids movie, a rat and a stag approached. And what did she do?"

"What? No. She pet it?"

Remus nodded and laughed. "She pet it. I swear, it was the most bizarre thing I had ever seen, until…Your mother turned around looked at me, and she had this glint, this glimmer of mischief in her eyes. And then she just…transformed, like it was nothing, like she'd been doing it for years. In her place stood a large black leopard.

"I knew that they had been trying to become Animagi, but that was the first time it became real. Your mother, of course, tried arguing one last time to come with us, but…"

"You didn't let her, did you?" Jonathan asked, suddenly worried.

"Of course not," Remus said quickly. "I think it's the only time we were able to convince her against doing something she had set her mind to. We paid for it of course. She didn't speak to any of us until after the full moon four days later."

Remus spooned another helping of mashed potatoes into his mouth before continuing. "Now, it's your turn. Tell me about Silvereyes."

Jonathan grinned. "Well… It was second year…"

 _ **5 July 1994**_

"Is that another letter from my Mum?"

Remus looked up from the letter he was reading. "It is. Would you like to read it yourself?"

Jonathan plopped on the couch beside Remus. "Let me guess…she wants to know how I'm doing and when I'm coming home?"

"Care to respond for me?" Remus asked hopefully.

Jonathan huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Remus sighed.

"Your mother misses you, Jonathan, and she just wants to know you're safe."

"And she doesn't trust you to keep me safe?"

"I…" Remus opened and closed his mouth with a small pop. If he was honest with himself, he wasn't entirely sure of the answer.

"I'm new at this parenting thing," Remus began. "I haven't learned all of its nuances yet. Your mother has had fifteen years to work on it; I haven't had a month."

"Well, the way I see it, she had fifteen years to tell me the truth about who she was, but she didn't. You haven't had a month yet, and I already feel like I knew you better than I ever knew her. And because of you, I've already met a grandfather I never knew I had."

Remus sighed. Getting Jonathan to forgive Kate was going to be harder than he thought. But, it had taken him this long to even really talk about what happened. Remus had to consider this a good sign.

"I'm sure if her parents were still alive, you would have met them long ago. She's told you about them at least…hasn't she?"

"She's told me stories of a Harold and a Jeanette, but for all I know she simply made those names up."

Remus smiled. "Fleamont _Harold_ Potter and his wife, Euphemia _Jeanette_ , adopted your mother when she was ten and never treated her any differently than their own son, James. Apart from being a bit overprotective of her, but perhaps that was to compensate for the apparent lack of protection from her birth parents."

Jonathan hesitated before asking, "Did they both die of Dragon Pox like she claims?"

"Yes, within days of each other. Your mother was very upset when it happened, and often woke up in the middle of the night crying. It's how you came to be."

"That…" Jonathan grimaced, "…is too much information, Dad."

"I…" Remus stopped suddenly. There was a silent pause as they both realized what had been said. They looked at each other at the same time. Remus had the faint glint of tears in his eyes as he smiled. Jonathan nodded in silent acknowledgement.

"Is...is it too soon?" Jonathan asked.

Remus thought about it for a moment. "I'm going to leave that up to you."

After a brief pause, in which Jonathan did not recant his statement, Remus continued. "I…I don't claim to understand all the reasons why she didn't tell you, but I am certain that she was only doing what she thought she had to in order to keep you safe, to protect you. Your mother loves you very much."

"I know that. It's just right now I… I don't…" Jonathan seemed hesitant to say what was on his mind, so Remus pushed for it.

"You don't what, Jonathan? You can tell me."

"I know it's probably selfish, but...What does this make me? Am I a 'Porter', a 'Potter'…or am I something else?"

Remus's smile grew; he knew what the 'something else' was without asking. "You are you; you are Jonathan."

"Some help that is," Jonathan said with a roll of his eyes.

Remus laughed. "A name doesn't define the person, but a person defines the name. Whether you are a 'Porter,' a 'Potter,' or something else, you are Jonathan. And whether she is Katherine or Kate, she is your mother, and that is what you need to remember."

There was a silent pause as Remus allowed his words to sink in.

"Now… if you don't mind, I need to pay the loo a visit." Remus stood and left for the toilet, purposefully leaving Katherine's letter on the table before Jonathan.

Jonathan waited until he heard the door close, then he picked up the letter. He could almost hear the anguish in his mum's words as he read over them. Much of it was what Jonathan had suspected, but it ended with a desperate plea.

 _Please, Remus, tell me what I have to do. Please tell me it isn't too late. Please tell me I haven't lost him._

Suddenly the fireplace roared to life and a face appeared in the flames.

"Psst…Moony, you there?"

Jonathan set the letter down and looked around the room. His dad was still in the toilet, but the man in the fire was waiting for a response. So, Jonathan approached the fireplace with the intent to tell the caller that Remus was unavailable at the moment. When he arrived, however, things took an unexpected turn.

"Moony! There you are. What kept you?"

"I…" Jonathan stammered. He had seen the face in the fire before, but couldn't remember where.

"Never mind," the man said.

Suddenly it dawned on him. Jonathan had seen those wild eyes on a wanted poster in Diagon Alley. He was looking at the face of Sirius Black.

"You're…"

"…with Kate," Black said before Jonathan could finish his thought.

Remus had told Jonathan all about how he and Jonathan's mum were best friends with Sirius Black in school, and that Sirius was actually innocent in the charges against him. Still, Jonathan couldn't help the little bit of unease he felt at learning that an accused mass murderer was alone with his Mum.

"Look, Remus, I know you want to spend as much time with the boy as possible…"

"The boy?"

"The kid, Jonathan, you have to bring him home and you have to do it soon."

"Why? What's happened?"

"Nothing yet, but I fear it might. Kate's in bad shape, Moony. She's sleeping now, but this… this is worse than when she left you. The boy…he's the only one that can help her. You have to bring him home."

"I…"

"Shh… I think she's waking. Bring him home, fast."

The face of Sirius Black was gone and the fire died out.

 _ **6 July 1994**_

With a flash and a swirl of ash, Jonathan arrived in the living room of Number 5 Privet Drive. The unease Jonathan felt at learning that Black was with his mother was magnified when he arrived to find the two of them together on the couch. His mother didn't appear to be moving. Jonathan put his hand on his wand in his back pocket, but before he could remove it, Black was on his feet.

"Remus!"

A second later Remus arrived by floo.

"Er—oh!" Sirius grinned and pointed a finger at Jonathan. "You know, I thought you looked different."

"What's this?" Remus asked looking between the two of them.

"I mistook Little Man here for you," Sirius replied. Then he held out his hand to Jonathan. "I'm…"

"Sirius Black," Jonathan cut across him stiffly. "I've seen your poster around."

"Ah, yes. I don't think it really does me justice though." Sirius chuckled; Jonathan did not.

"I…I've seen you somewhere else as well."

"Really? Where?"

Jonathan didn't respond to Sirius but instead turned towards Remus.

"Do you remember what I told you about the dementors on the train?"

"Yes, I… Oh!" Remus nodded his head. "Your worst memory is the day Sirius showed up to warn your mother about Peter"

"What's this? You remember me?" Sirius asked Jonathan with a pleased smile.

"No," Jonathan said quickly. "I remember what you did to my Mum that day."

Sirius' smile faded instantly. "About that, Jonathan, you need to know…" Sirius stopped as Katherine stirred.

"Mmm…Whatsgoinon?"

Katherine pushed herself up onto one hand and wiped her eyes with the other. When she saw Jonathan and Remus were there, she quickly sat all the way up.

"Jonathan," she breathed. Then she turned her eyes to Sirius. "I can't believe you let me fall asleep again."

"You needed the cat-nap, Kate," Sirius replied. Then he instinctively held his hand out and pulled her to her feet.

Katherine slowly approached Jonathan and hesitantly wrapped her arms around him. Jonathan remained stiff and unmoving.

"You're home," she whispered.

Jonathan could hear the relief in her voice. It was almost like she really thought he'd never come back. He slowly brought one arm up to give her a half hug.

"Yeah…I'm home."

When Katherine pulled back, there were tears in her eyes. She gave a faint smile.

"I'll make us dinner. Will you join us, Remus?"

"I…" Remus rubbed a hand over his face.

"You should stay, Moony," Sirius said.

Jonathan turned towards him. "He's right, Dad."

Katherine's breath hitched slightly and she looked between Remus and Jonathan; she knew this wasn't the first time he'd called him 'Dad.'

"You should stay," Jonathan continued. "We cleaned out your fridge this morning."

Remus smiled. "Alright, I'll stay."

Katherine headed for the kitchen wordlessly as she tried to wipe the tears away without anyone noticing. As Jonathan watched her go, Remus nudged him in the shoulder and nodded in her direction. Jonathan knew what he was saying. He sighed and nodded before following her. Katherine heard him approach and looked up from slicing carrots; the knife continued on without her.

"I…I'm sorry about the way I left," he said.

"I'm sorry too," Katherine choked out. "It wasn't fair of me to keep Kate or your father from you."

"No, it wasn't. But I… I realized something while staying with Dad."

"Oh?" Katherine's voice cracked against her will. "And what's that?"

"There's only one name that really matters to me… and that's 'Mum.'"

Katherine took in a great breath of air as tears fell from the corners of her eyes. "That's the only name that matters to me too."

"So you…you won't change that one on me?"

"No! Never!"

Jonathan smiled and then gave his mother a true hug.

"I thought I…"

"Lost me? You can't lose me, Mum," Jonathan assured. Katherine gave a teary laugh and kissed his forehead.

From where they still stood in the lounge, Remus and Sirius watched as Jonathan mended things with his mum. Remus gave a fond, but sad smile. He and Jonathan may have begun to build a relationship, but he knew he'd never have the same connection Kate had with him.

"That's some nice work you and Kate did there, Moony," Sirius said.

Remus sighed and shook his head. "Kate deserves all the credit for him. I didn't have anything to with raising him."

Sirius frowned. "I'm sorry for the part I played in that. We shouldn't have kept him from you."

"You were doing what you thought was best for her. I can't fault you for that. Besides, I… I never gave her any reason to trust that I would stay."

"Would you have? If you knew she was pregnant, would you have stayed?"

Remus sighed and answered truthfully. "I don't know. We were different back then."

"Yeah… We were younger for one."

"Foolish for another…"

"…Devilishly handsome…"

"…Reckless…"

"…Wickedly humorous…"

"…Blinded by ego…"

"…Blinded by love… So, not much different then?"

Remus laughed loudly, making Katherine and Jonathan look over at them.

"What are you two laughing at over there?" he asked.

"How amazing we are," Sirius replied.

"Yeah, I find that pretty comical too," Katherine deadpanned.

"Do you know what could make this better? If Harry was here."

"Yeah, well that's not likely."

"Why not?"

"Because, Sirius, Harry isn't talking to me. He hasn't spoken a word to me since I told him; he hasn't even responded to the letters I've sent him."

"Well, perhaps I could go fetch him."

"Absolutely not!" Katherine said adamantly. "You are not leaving this house."

Katherine was met with silence until Jonathan broke it. "Perhaps I can talk him into it."

"Really?" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yeah, I mean….we're still mates, right? I think. I'll just talk to him."

"How will you get him to come over?"

Jonathan shrugged a shoulder. "I'll just tell him we adopted a dog."

Sirius barked a laugh. "He's definitely your kid!"

"Can I go, Mum?" Jonathan asked turning to Katherine.

She nodded. "Yes, but hurry back. Dinner won't be long now."

Jonathan bounded past where Remus and Sirius stood, and went through the front door where he assessed the house across the street. The car was in the drive, which meant Vernon was home. So Petunia was probably doing what his Mum was doing, cooking dinner. That put Dudley either at her feet scrounging for scraps or, more likely since he couldn't bend over that far, he was in his bedroom playing video games. Harry, then, was also probably in his own room keeping out of the way.

Jonathan picked up a few of the small pebbles from the flower bed in front of his house before heading across the street and around the side to Harry's window. Since they weren't allowed to do magic outside of school, after Harry's first year he and Jonathan agreed that if they ever wanted to talk without Jonathan's Mum or Harry's Aunt and Uncle knowing then they would throw pebbles at the other's window. Jonathan hoped that still stood between them. Truth be told, Jonathan wasn't sure how Harry would react to him now that his Mum had confessed to knowing his parents all this time.

Jonathan only had to throw two pebbles before Harry came to the window. Jonathan waved him down. Harry hesitated before nodding. Jonathan sighed and made his way back around to the front. When Harry didn't come out soon after, Jonathan began to worry that he wouldn't. Then, at last, the front door opened and Harry stepped out; he didn't look very happy.

"For a moment, I wasn't sure if you'd come out," Jonathan said.

"Why wouldn't I?" Harry asked stiffly.

"Because…" Jonathan paused. "My Mum told me everything."

Harry's shoulders drooped as though suddenly being relieved of a great burden.

"So you know about her lies, then?" Harry asked as he sat on the front step. Jonathan sat beside him.

"That's a…tad harsh, don't you think? I mean, she was only doing what she thought was best. At least…that's what she and Remus keep saying."

"You don't agree then?"

"I…I don't know. It's complicated, I guess. I get why she had to create the illusion. If you had to watch your Mum suffer a panic attack where she couldn't breathe, you'd understand why too. But I… I don't really understand why she made the illusion permanent or why she didn't tell us sooner. I'm still mad about that; it still hurts, but I don't think it's something that's just going to disappear overnight…or over two weeks rather."

"Yeah…where have you been? I thought you might come by sooner."

"I would have, but I only just got back. I was in Yorkshire, with Remus; he's…he's my dad."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"How was it?" Harry asked after a slight pause.

"It was cool. It was different. He introduced me to his dad, to my grandfather. That was pretty cool. He's the only grandparent I have, but he was cool."

"I wouldn't know. I don't have any grandparents."

"Sorry. You can share mine; I'm sure Lyall won't mind."

Harry smiled. "Thanks."

"And, I know it's not the same as a grandparent of your own, but you do have an Aunt now. Well…another Aunt that is."

Harry huffed and his smile faded.

"Which…I guess…makes us cousins, technically."

"You're already a better cousin then the one I already have."

"I am pretty great, aren't I?"

Harry chuckled. "Git."

"Prat."

"Bugger."

Jonathan smiled; Harry smiled, and Jonathan knew that they were still mates.

"So…ah, I was actually sent to see if you'd join us for dinner."

"Who? You and your mum?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, my mum will be there. So will my dad…at least, I think he's staying."

Harry ran his hand over the back of his head, messing up his hair in the process. "I don't know. I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

"I thought you might say something like that. So that's why I said I'd tell you that we adopted a dog."

"You have a dog now?"

"He's more of a mutt really. He's big…shaggy… _Black_." Jonathan hinted, but Harry wasn't catching on. "We call him…Siri..."

"Sirius!" Harry whispered under his breath as his head whipped around to face Jonathan's house. "He's over there? Really?"

Jonathan nodded. "Mum won't let him leave the house, or else he would have come over himself. So…what do you day? Will you come over?"

* * *

 **Well...what do you think? Will Harry join them for dinner? Only four chapters to go now...until Part 3 that is. :)**


	29. A Family Dinner

**Chapter 28**

 **A Family Dinner**

"They're coming!" Sirius exclaimed with giddy excitement.

"What?" I asked.

"Harry's coming over! Little Man did it!"

"He…I…"

I quickly stopped what I was doing. I wiped at my eyes to make sure I wasn't crying. I could hardly believe it. For the first time in nearly a month, Harry would be forced to be in close proximity to me. Maybe there was hope of restoring what was once between us.

The front door opened and Jonathan and Harry's laughter floated in. Then Harry walked around the corner and saw Sirius. He called out his name in a cry of excitement and Sirius embraced him. Sirius laughed with glee. When they separated, Harry greeted Remus with a warm smile. But his eyes turned cold and his smile faded when he saw me though, and it stung like a jab to the heart. Remus noticed and looked my way; I went back to cooking.

"How long have you been here?" Harry asked, quickly turning his attention back to Sirius.

"Just a few days," Sirius replied. "I would have sent you an owl, but your Aunt doesn't have one," he added with intent.

Harry bit back with, "My Aunt is across the street."

I dropped the plate I was holding rather roughly onto the others, making a great clatter. I knew everyone turned to look at me, even though I currently had my back to them.

"Mum…"

"Dinner is ready," I choked out.

I proceeded to line up the food on the counter as they made their way over; my dining table was too small for the five of us and the food. I stepped aside allowing them to go first. Harry brushed by me without a glance in my direction, but Remus came up to me and placed a hand on the small of my back. He quickly removed it however.

"Kate?"

"I'm fine," I whispered. "He's here at least, right?" I looked up at Remus and quickly caught the tear before it could fall.

We sat down to dinner. Harry and Sirius jumped right into a conversation that Jonathan and Remus could easily participate in. I was kept mostly out of it, despite Sirius' attempts to draw me in. When they started talking about the map, though, I just couldn't seem to help it.

"Wait," Jonathan said as he turned towards Sirius. "You helped create The Marauder's Map?"

"Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs," I muttered, nodding my head towards Remus and Sirius as I said their names.

"You know about the Marauders Map too?"

"The better question, Jonathan, is how do _you_ know about it?"

Jonathan grinned. "I found Fred and George using it one afternoon. Now it's your turn, Mum."

Sirius laughed. "Of course she knew about it. Who do you think drew the template for the castle?"

"Well it wasn't me!" I protested.

"No sense in playing innocent."

"I'm not…"

Suddenly Remus started coughing, which sounded suspiciously like he was choking on laughter. I turned my head to look at him. I could see easily the failed attempt at a suppressed smile.

"What did you do?" I asked.

"What makes you think I did anything?" He tried to ask innocently.

"Because I'm not daft and I know that look."

He laughed. "Well…do you remember that sketch of the castle you gave me back in fourth year?"

"Vaguely."

"Well it may have…and by 'may have' I mean it did…fall out of my Defense book and James found it."

"So you told him I drew if for the map! Unbelievable! And that's how you got a sample of my handwriting. I told you all that I wanted no part in the making of it."

"I know, which is why I told James not to mention it to you because you would only deny it."

"Merlin! You were as bad as the lot of them."

"Wait! So if you didn't sketch out the castle for the map, then why did you give it to Remus?" Sirius asked.

"Because I… I… Because I couldn't very well say, 'Hey, I think you're cute. Would you care to snog behind the greenhouse shed?'"

Jonathan spat out his drink with an exclamation. "MUM!"

Sirius laughed obnoxiously while Remus' face turned red. Harry just sat there taking it all in, the hint of a smile on his face.

"Maybe you should have," Sirius suggested. "It would have put you both out of your misery a lot sooner."

"Well if James hadn't been such a prick about it."

Harry's smile vanished. "My dad wasn't…"

"Wasn't what, Harry? A prick?" I cut across him. "When it comes to me dating, I hate to say it but he was. He had these…these rules…"

"They were mutual agreements," Sirius protested.

"No, those came after Remus and I started dating. The rules almost prevented us from getting together in the first place."

"What kind of rules?" Jonathan asked a little warily.

"Well, there was the one that said I wasn't allowed to date any of his friends for one."

"Or the one that said we couldn't date you," Remus added.

"Or the…wait what?" I turned to Remus. "He had a rule against you dating me?"

"Not 'me' specifically, and it wasn't explicitly said until sixth year, but it was heavily implied during first."

"Huh… And all this time I thought it was some twisted sense of loyalty about not falling for your best mate's sister. That or an even more warped sense that you were somehow undeserving of love."

"More likely it was a combination of all of the above," Sirius said. Remus didn't say anything, but I smiled knowing it was true.

"So my dad had a rule about you not dating his friends? I don't think that makes him a prick," Harry said. My smile faded.

"No, that alone doesn't. But in addition to that, if any other bloke so much as asked me a question about the homework assignment his physical appearance would be threatened by one of the guys. Thereby making it virtually impossible for me to get a date to Hogsmeade. Not many blokes are willing to risk neon pink hair, smelling like a dungbomb for a week, or oinking like a pig every hour for a girl."

Sirius laughed. "I forgot about the oinking. That was good one, Moony."

Remus flushed pink and tried to hide his pleased smile. Jonathan and I both turned our heads to look at him.

"You made a bloke oink like a pig? Dad, you have to teach me that one."

"He'll do no such thing," I insisted. I turned back to Remus. "It was you? You did that to Ben?"

"I thought his name was Dave," Sirius said.

"It was Ben," Remus clarified. "And yes, I did it, but with good reason. I heard him talking that morning as we left the Great Hall. He had some rather…vulgar descriptions for what he'd like to do to you. I couldn't very well let him get away with such thoughts."

"So you defended Mum's honor. Hmm… I bet your Mum wouldn't have tried to take away the Final Quidditch match," Jonathan mused.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Remus replied. I remained silent and in thought.

"Blimey, Kate, did you really not know it was him?" Sirius asked. "Why did you think he served detention for then?"

"It was sixth year; I stopped asking why any of you were in detention. I figured he just drew the short lot that week."

"The short lot?" Harry asked; Sirius smirked.

"How do you know about that?"

I eyed him. "It wasn't that hard to figure out. One of you would distract Filch with a minor offense, while the rest carried out the more serious crime since you all couldn't fit under the cloak anymore."

"Brilliant! I'll have to pass that on to Fred and George," Jonathan said.

"No! Now stop listening to their past shenanigans before you start scheming."

"Too late."

"You know about my Dad's cloak too?" Harry asked.

I sighed. "Yes. Who do you think returned it to you first year when you left it on the Astronomy Tower after trying to get rid of Hagrid's dragon?"

"You know about…"

"I've made it a point to know about anything that goes on in that school if it involves you or Jonathan."

"But how do you know about it? No one else was there."

"I was. You and Hermione were so excited to be out past curfew that you didn't notice the leopard hiding in the shadows on the lower deck."

I pushed back tears as I continued. "I've always been there, Harry, silent and unseen, but always there. Always watching over you. Always trying to give you the best that I could. I wish that I could have done more. I wish I could have taken you and Jonathan far from the clutches of Petunia and Vernon, and raised you…not as my own. I wouldn't take that from James and Lily, but I would have raised you all the same."

"Then why didn't you?" Harry asked angrily. "I understand why they didn't. Remus had no legal claim, Sirius was in Azkaban, but you… you were across the street the whole time. So what's your excuse?"

"Because I…I couldn't."

"You couldn't? Well thank you for clearing that up."

"Blast it, Harry!" I slammed my palm down on the table. "I wanted to; I tried to. I fought for you until my voice was hoarse, but it was like trying to reason with a mad man. He said I couldn't. I tried to tell him you'd be safer, that you'd be better off in the arms of someone who would love you, someone who could protect you. But still he remained adamant that you remain with Petunia. I told him he didn't understand how cruel they could be to people like us, but still he said no."

"He?"

I took a moment to wipe the tears from my eyes. I hadn't meant to incriminate anyone like that, but it was too late now.

"Dumbledore," I said softly. "Dumbledore placed you with the Dursleys. Dumbledore refused my guardianship of you."

"But why?"

"He said it was something to do with the way Lily gave her life you yours that night. He said that as long as you were accepted by her blood, then you'd be protected. He said the bond was sealed the moment Petunia took you inside. I was…I was James' sister, not Lily's, and on top of that I was adopted. I share no blood relations with the Potters.

"Dumbledore said I was welcome, and even encouraged to stay in your life as you Aunt, but he didn't understand how they were. Petunia never would have allowed Kate Potter to be anywhere near her and her family. If she knew I was just across the street, she would have taken you far from my reach or dropped you at some nameless orphanage where I would never find you. And that wasn't an option, Harry. I had to be in your life even if only as the loony neighbor.

"I said I kept the illusion for numerous reasons; you were one of those reasons, Harry."

There was a deafening silence that followed, in which Harry simply stared at me with a blank expression.

"You didn't really let me get to that part of the explanation before you stormed out of my office. Which—" I cut across his protest, "—I understand. It's the Potter Temper Curse; I have it too."

Sirius, Remus, and Jonathan all scoffed at my last words.

"That's understating it a bit, Mum, don't you think?" Jonathan asked.

"A bit?" Sirius questioned. "She once went two whole weeks without speaking a word to me. She didn't even look my way. She ignored me completely! Didn't even use one of the others as a go-between. It's like I didn't exist."

"Well… you probably deserved it," Jonathan said.

Sirius paused before answering. "I most definitely deserved it, but that's beside the point Little Man. You and Harry here have both been giving your mum the cold shoulder since she told you about her past. A past, I might add, that she hid for both your and her protection. Should she have told you sooner? I can't say, maybe, so long as it didn't jeopardize your safety. But none of us can begin to comprehend the struggle she had to handle, alone, the last twelve years. Remus and I rather mucked things up, and Kate had to pick up the pieces the only way she knew how. It would do you well to remember that."

I smiled faintly at Sirius' support. I found it endearing how he was quickly falling into that protective mode he and James always had for me. I reached over and gently squeezed his hand to show my thanks.

"Alright," Harry said after a pause. "Then do something the Dursleys never would. Tell me about my parents. I want to know everything. What they were like, how they met…all of it."

My smile grew a little wider. "Yeah…alright. I'd be happy to. I think I may have some things up in the loft to help with that. We can go through it together."

"You have some of their things here?" Harry asked, but his tone wasn't accusatory as it had been.

"Not much of it, mind you; I couldn't get a hold of most of it actually, but Dumbledore was able to give me a few boxes of things that weren't destroyed. Would…would you like to see them? Your parents, I mean. Would you like to see their grave site?"

"I…" He swallowed visibly. "Yes. When can we go?"

I was taken aback by his sudden enthusiasm. "I…well, it'll have to wait a few days…" I could see his disappointment creeping in so I hurried to finish.

"The full moon is in two days. We'll have to let that pass so Remus can join us."

"You don't…" Remus began protesting but Harry and I both cast him a look that silenced him instantly.

"And I'll need that time," I continued "to figure out what to do with him." I pointed to Sirius.

"What do you mean 'what to do with him?'" Sirius grumbled.

"I've already told you, Sirius, you are not leaving this house as you are; it's too risky, and I won't have them take you way from me again. I'll have to at least go out and get you some clothes."

"Speaking of clothes," Jonathan said. "Is that my shirt he's wearing?"

"Is it?" Sirius asked as he looked down at his shirt. "Who is Bo-no?"

"It's _Bono_ ," Jonathan corrected but Sirius still looked confused. "You know, from U2."

"Me too what?"

"U2," I said. "It's a Muggle band."

"Are they any good?"

"They're decent enough; they're no Queen, but…"

"Who is," Remus asked. Queen had been a favorite of ours.

"'Decent enough,'" Jonathan muttered and shook his head. "Why did you have to give him one of my shirts, Mum?"

"Well I couldn't give him one of mine," I replied.

"It wouldn't have been the first time," Remus said.

I groaned and threw my hands over my eyes. "We do not need a repeat of second year."

Sirius laughed. "They were surprisingly comfortable."

"Stop! Just stop!" I said with another groan.

"What happened in second year?" Harry asked.

"Nothing; we are not getting into it at the dinner table."

But Sirius and Remus didn't listen, and they immediately began divulging Harry and Jonathan with the story.


	30. Godric's Hollow

**So it has been asked a few times whether or not Harry and Jonathan know about Dolohov and his kidnapping of Kate. Here's the answer... No.**

 **Now, "why?" you might ask. Wouldn't they understand the illusion and Katherine's reason behind the illusion more if they knew about Dolohov and her past? Yes. Probably, maybe definitely. But here's what you need to understand about Kate/Katherine.**

 **Kate has spent her whole life trying to hide her scars and hide from who she really is. When she was a girl she would hide from her father under her bed, or up in a tree. When she was in Hogwarts, she was constantly pulling down her sleeves or pulling up her stockings as far as they would go to hide the scars. When she shows Harry and Jonathan her true face, they only see the scars that are there. They have no idea about the rest of the scars that cover her body, nor how she got them. It's not something she likes to talk or think about. Kate has spent her life trying to hide, and as Katherine she finally gets to that. She's not ready to let go of that illusion.**

 **Hope that answers your question, and thanks for asking. If there's anything else you wish to know, I'd be glad to answer it (if it won't give too much away). Anywho...here's the next chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 29**

 **Godric's Hollow**

Muggle transportation was always crowded, especially during the summer. It was, however, necessary to keep up appearances around Privet Drive. The neighbors might seriously start to question things if I never left the house for supplies. So I made it a point to be seen occasionally.

I was halfway down Privet Drive, with shopping bags in hand, when the faint hum of music hit my ears. Some idiot was playing their music too loud. It was with a slow horror that I realized the music was coming from my house.

"Good Godric, what…"

"Miss Porter," a very shrill voice called over my shoulder.

Great! Petunia Dursley. She was the last person I needed to confront me about the horrible, _freakish_ noise emanating from my house. There were two ways I could play this. I could show my mortification, apologize profusely, and hope to earn her sympathy, but Petunia's never been one to be very sympathetic unless it concerned her precious _Diddykins_. Or, I could act ignorant and pretend I couldn't hear the music at all; the neighborhood didn't think me half mad for nothing.

"Petunia!" I said sweetly as I turned to face her with a large smile. She met me with a scowl pulled over her horse-like teeth and arms folded over her chest. I looked up at the sky dreamily.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"

"One can hardly notice with all that…that noise," her nose pinched in disgust, "coming from your house."

I furrowed my brow a little and tilted my head to the side.

"Noise?" I asked.

"That…" She paused. "Don't tell me you don't hear it! It's a monstrosity!"

I pretended to take a moment to listen. The thump-thump of the drum and the screeching guitar from my house I ignored, and instead I focused on the more distant sounds.

"Oh yes, I hear it now. There's a lark singing a street over, how lovely."

"A lark! Why I…" She huffed indignantly and stormed back inside her own house.

I smiled at her retreating back until she disappeared. Then I turned to face my own house. The loud thumping and screeching had transitioned into something more mellow. I walked in to find my collection of old records scattered over the floor. Sirius was doing his best Freddie Mercury impression. Remus was off the side laughing lightly and shaking his head. Harry was enjoying the show, and Jonathan was trying to not look entertained. I pulled out my wand and aimed it at the record player; it was silenced instantly and four pair of eyes turned my way.

"Three…hours," I said slowly. "I was gone for three hours, and you've turned the whole neighborhood against me."

Sirius only grinned and slowly walked my way singing.

 _"Too late, my time has come…sends shivers down my spine, body achin' all the time…"_

"Do you have any idea how long it took me to establish a respectable image around here?"

 _"Goodbye everybody, I've got to go…gotta leave you all behind and face the truth…"_

"Do you know how many accusatory looks I had to suffer for being a single, un-wed mother at my age?"

 _"Mama…ohhh…"_ Sirius shared a look with Remus, who, with a sigh, pushed off the wall and joined in.

 _"Anyway the wind blows…"_

"And look at this place; it's a mess!"

 _"I don't wanna die…"_ Sirius sang.

"And Petunia, she…she just…"

 _"Sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all…"_ they sang together.

There was a pause. They were both staring at me with those blasted looks they used to share. It was like looking through a time portal at their fifteen-year-old selves. Those looks could convince anyone to do anything. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, avoiding their gaze as I tried to fight it. But I could still feel their eyes on me, burning into and defeating my better judgment. I found myself suddenly singing.

 _"I see a little silhoetto of a man…"_

Remus and Sirius picked up the next line.

 _"Scaramouche, Scaramouche will you do the Fandango?"_

Then we all sang.

 _"Thunderbolt and lightening very, very frightening…me…"_

And the song went on. We fell into our old routine of trading lines back and forth and doing different parings. We sang each word without missing a beat. When the guitar break came we flung our hair around like we were eighteen; Sirius played the air guitar and Remus was on drums. At some point one of us had un-muted the record player so that the music blasted through the house once again.

In the end, we all collapsed into a chair, breathless and clutching at our sides with laughter. Harry still appeared quite amused and had to push his glasses back on his nose. Jonathan's look of mortification matched what I had felt walking down the street.

A sharp rapping cut through my laughter, and I swore. I'd forgotten to place a silencing charm on the house. I flung myself off the couch and headed towards the door, combing my fingers through my hair and straightening my blouse. I knew I had to find a way to salvage my image in the neighborhood. So I did the first thing I could think of.

With my hand on the door knob, I called over my shoulder sharply.

"Jonathan! What have I told you about playing that ruddy music of yours?"

My sudden scolding awoke him from his trance-like gaze.

"My…? But I…"

"Don't talk back to me young man. I've heard quite enough of your excuses!"

"I didn't even…"

"And you can forget about going to James' tonight."

"Who is Ja…"

"Enough, I said. Now, finish those chores like I asked you to earlier."

Before Jonathan could even blink I turned my attention back to the front door and opened it.

"Amelia," I greeted with a smile.

"Hello Katherine," a stout woman in her mid-fifties replied.

"I am so sorry if Jonathan's music has disturbed you. I only just returned from market."

"Oh?" her eyes widened with slight surprise. "Oh…well, I see."

"Yes, you know… I thought that since he was nearly fifteen he might have some sense now, but I… I just can't leave that boy without _proper_ supervision."

"Fifteen you said? Hmm… I remember those days. He thinks he's twenty-five and act likes he's five."

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "Finally, someone who understands the hardship."

She smiled fondly.

"How old is Aiden now?" I asked.

"He just turned twenty one, and he went and got himself engaged!"

"Oh! That's…"

"…too young? I know! I certainly don't know what he was thinking."

"Well, I've known couples that were younger…"

"Speaking of engagements, dear…"

The problem with Amelia Vann was that once she started talking it was hard to get her to stop. With my hand hidden behind the door, I carefully began to maneuver my wand out of my pocket.

"…George's boss' son is about your age, you know," Amelia continued. "And he's very handsome…and unattached currently, as I hear."

Finally freeing my wand without her noticing, I held it firmly in my hand behind the door.

"We're inviting the lot of them over for tea this summer. Perhaps you'd…"

I gave my wand a little twirl, and a large crash resounded. Amelia and I both jumped at the sudden noise.

"Jonathan!" I yelled over my shoulder before turning back to Amelia apologetically. "I am so sorry, Amelia, but I have to see to this. We'll have to have tea some other time."

"Oh sure, sure dear. I understand. Good luck with that boy." She smiled and gave a little wave before leaving.

I closed the door behind her and quickly cast a silencing charm over the house. I returned to the lounge to find all four of them looking at me. Harry's eyebrows were raised in question, Jonathan looked dumbfounded, Sirius was grinning, and Remus… I couldn't make out the look on Remus' face. I'm certain they all had heard the part where Amelia was trying to set me up with George's boss' son, but I couldn't decipher what Remus made of it. We were in new territory…with Jonathan, with Harry…with Sirius taking refuge in my house. I really wasn't sure where that left us. And we had yet to speak about it.

'What. Was. That?" Jonathan asked.

Sirius chuckled and walked over. "That, Little Man, was your mother using her finely tuned skills to save her arse."

"Well I wouldn't have need of them if one of you had sense enough to cast a silencing charm before deciding to burst everyone's ear drum."

Remus, at least, looked a bit sheepish.

"Now," I picked up one of my shopping bags and handed it to Sirius. "These are for you."

Sirius pulled out several bags of clothes.

"Maybe now you can stop raiding my wardrobe," Jonathan said.

"What are these for?" Harry asked. Sirius had handed him one of the bags and Harry had pulled out a leather collar and leash set.

"That is how Sirius is going to Godric's Hollow," I replied.

Sirius snapped his head up and Jonathan laughed.

"Merlin's beard, Kate! A leash? No. There's no way," Sirius protested.

"It's that or your stay under the cloak."

"You know I can't fit under the cloak anymore."

I smiled. "So the leash it is then."

 **XXX**

An hour later the five of us were walking along High Street of Godric's Hollow; Sirius was on a leash being led by Remus, and Harry and Jonathan walked alongside us. To anyone that saw us, we simply looked like a family of four out for a walk with their dog.

"Oh, stop right here," I said turning to Harry. "Look there, Harry; you too Jonathan. Between those buildings, beyond the field, do you see that house on the hill?"

"Do you mean the big one there?" Jonathan asked.

"That's the one. That's Potters Place."

"Potters Place?" Harry repeated. "Do you mean that's…"

"Where James and I grew up? Yes."

"Did my Mum…?"

"No. Your parents lived elsewhere after they got married. But when Mum and Dad, when your grandparents passed away, the estate was left to James and me. Then after James… I hired an Executive for the Estate. He sees to it that the property remains maintained and kept. It is my hope that one day a Potter might inhabit it again."

I looked down at Harry whose eyes widened. "You mean me?"

"If you want it," I nodded. "If not… Well, we can talk more about if when you're seventeen, but I would really prefer you not sell it."

"But…if you own it, then why don't you just live there then?"

"No, I…I couldn't. I…"

"You still haven't been back there?" Remus asked, as he stepped up beside us. I looked up at him and shook my head.

"Not since Mum and Dad's funeral, no. I…I just can't bring myself to go in there." I wiped my eyes. "Too many memories. All the business with the Executive is done remotely; he sends me pictures I keep in a file in the loft." Sirius walked over and nuzzled his head under my hand with a whimper.

After a moment of silence, we moved on.

 **XXX**

That night I lay in bed with tears streaming down my face. The trip to Godric's Hollow had taken its toll on me. After showing them Potters Place, Harry and Jonathan stopped to marvel at the memorial of James and Lily in the square. From there we moved on to the graveyard where I showed Harry not only his parents' grave, but also that of his grandparents.

I think I would have been fine if we had left after that. But Harry wanted to know where his parents had lived, so I took him by their old house. It was a place I usually avoided avidly on my trips. Now the image of the broken and charred house and the faces of James and Lily floated before my eyes.

 _"We celebrated your birthday here," I said. "James allowed me to leave the protection of my own charm for the day. Padfoot was there, of course. Pete…" I chocked. "Peter said he wasn't able to make it."_

 _"What about you, Dad? Where were you?" Jonathan asked, looking towards Remus._

 _"No, I…I wasn't around in those days," Remus replied solemnly._

 _I continued with the story._

 _"Sirius had gotten you a toy broom. I was charged with distracting Lily while he and James got it ready. It was easy; I just talked about the havoc Jonathan had been causing, told, her what she had to look forward to. The broom though…the broom didn't fly any higher than three feet, but you were a natural on it; even at that age. You sped around the first floor. You couldn't quite figure out how to make it go up the stairs just then. James… James was so proud, said you'd be on the house team in no time. Lily tried to scold him, tried to tell him you were too young for a broom. But her smile…she was proud too._

 _"Then Jonathan wanted a go, and you were kind enough to let him try. He went about two feet before he toppled off and banged his head on the floor. Instead of crying though, he just laughed and got back on. And he fell again. He would have continued trying, but my nerves wouldn't let him. He was very fussy when I made him stop, and you tried to make him feel better by giving him another toy to play with."_

 _I paused to wipe away the falling tears. Once more Padfoot nuzzled his nose into my free palm._

 _"Thanks," Jonathan whispered in the silence as he nudged Harry's shoulder._

 _Harry smiled and said, "Your welcome."_

 _"And there was cake, of course. What's a party without cake?" I continued. "There were three cakes to be exact."_

 _"Why three?" Harry asked._

 _"Well, there was one for you, one for me… my real birthday had been only a few days prior. And then there was a cake and presents for Jonathan too. We decided to celebrate your birthdays together, because…we… we didn't know when we'd get to see each other next."_

 _I paused for a brief moment before continuing. "As it was…that was the last time I saw them."_

 _I tried pushing back the tears, but it was no use. Sirius howled and I lost it. A pair of arms wrapped around me quickly; my senses were flooded with the scent of pine and mint chocolate._

I rolled over onto my side as a fresh wave of tears began to fall. My door opened slowly to reveal the silhouette of a thin framed man. I swiped quickly at my face, hoping to hide the evidence, but I knew it was already too late.

The slim body changed into that of a dog, and Padfoot walked with his head hanging low. He placed his long snout on the edge of my bed and looked at me with great, watery eyes.

"You too, huh?" I asked, my voice cracking.

The dog whined. I moved back towards the middle of the bed.

"Come on then."

Padfoot hoped onto the bed with me. After spinning around a few times, he finally laid down on top of the sheets. I combed my fingers through his fur, until we both drifted off to sleep.


	31. A Thing of the Past

**Chapter 30**

 **A Thing of the Past**

 _ **21 August 1994**_

I waited a moment after apparating with Sirius to drop the disillusionment charm. We stepped out of the woods together and headed for the lone cottage.

"Well, it's certainly secluded," Sirius said. "I don't imagine he disturbs the neighbors much."

"I don't know. Why don't you change and ask the birds," I replied.

Nearly six weeks had passed since our family outing to Godric's Hollow. Harry came by the house frequently after that; I suspect it was mostly because Sirius was staying with me and not because Harry had forgiven me entirely. Harry had asked one night at dinner if it was safe for Sirius to stay with me; he was worried that the Ministry would know of our history. But I explained that, to the Ministry, _Kate Potter_ was dead, missing, or living on an island in the South Pacific. So many people went missing during the war and their fates were never discovered; Kate was among them. Since _Katherine Porter_ , had no ties to Sirius Black, there was no reason for the Ministry to come knocking on my door.

After the last full moon, Jonathan had returned to Remus' and spent his birthday there. While he was gone, Molly and Arthur had sent me an owl containing two tickets to the Quidditch World Cup. I'm not sure how they managed to do it, but I knew it would be an insult to turn them down. So, Sirius and I had apparated to Remus' cottage to pick up Jonathan. I would take him to the Burrow for the cup, and then afterwards he would remain with the Weasleys while I returned to the castle.

We had just reached the front steps when the door suddenly opened. A much older version of Jonathan walked out and I was momentarily stunned. If Sirius was surprised, he didn't show it. He simply smiled and greeted the old wizard with ease.

"Lyall! It's been too long. Where have you been?"

"Well, I haven't been in Azkaban like some," Lyall Lupin, Remus's dad and Jonathan's only living grandparent replied dryly. Then his lips quirked into a trademark Lupin smirk, and he shook hands with Sirius. Then he turned to look at me again.

"Who's your friend?" he asked Sirius

"What? Oh!" Sirius exclaimed. "That's Kate."

"Kate?" Lyall's kind features hardened quickly and snapped me out of my daze.

"It's Katherine now, actually. Remus has told you, I'm sure."

"Yeah... He knew not to keep something like that from his father."

Lyall's voice was laced with so much bitterness, Sirius detected it and he did as he always used to do when he felt I wasn't being treated fairly. He took a step forward and half shielded my body.

"Now, Lyall…" Sirius began, but I cut him off with a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you mean to say you have more curses you wish to unleash upon me? I would have thought your three page letter would have said it all," I said.

"Oh that was the edited version. The original draft was twice that."

"What's this about a letter?" Sirius asked.

"Forget about it, Sirius. It doesn't matter," I said.

"Doesn't matter?" Lyall said angrily. "Are you saying _I_ don't matter?"

"Don't put words in my mouth, Lyall."

"Does Moony know about a letter?" Sirius asked.

"No!" I said quickly. "And he's not going to know about it. Now, if you'll excuse us, Lyall, I'm here to pick up my son."

I stepped around Sirius and Lyall and made for the door. I really was trying to avoid a confrontation, but as I passed by him, Lyall huffed and muttered under his breath about how I appeared to be doing a botch job of raising Jonathan since I never told him about his father or his grandfather. I'm not really sure what it was, but his mumbled grumblings wore on my last nerve and I lost it.

"Excuse me?" I whirled around to face him.

"Oh? Now you want to hear what I have to say?"

"No. Where do _you_ get off telling me that _I'm_ a bad parent? I think I've done a pretty damn good job considering I've had to do this alone for the past fifteen years. If you're such an excellent parent, then where the hell was your son all this time?"

"Don't blame him for you being alone. You're the one who walked out."

"Oh no! He left me long before I left him. I gave him every opportunity to stay. I begged him not to go, but like his _father_ , it was all about the work. I waited with tears for him to come home. Even years later I still waited, ready to take him back if he asked me to. But he never came for me, now did he?"

"Well why would he? He thought you were dead!"

I huffed. "Oh how convenient."

" _Convenient_? Was it _convenient_ when he showed up on our door step broken and defeated? Was it _convenient_ when he was so deep in his grief he was barely capable of standing on his own two feet? Was it _convenient_ when I watched his mother fall into despair as she desperately tried to console him?"

"Don't be a barmy old fool. Why would he think I was dead?"

"Because that little Pettigrew boy told him as much!"

"What? That's ridiculous! Why would…" I stopped short as Remus's words suddenly flashed through my mind. " _He was in love with you."_ I turned and stormed inside. I could hear someone following me.

"Hey, Mum. I'm almost…"

I passed by Jonathan and went straight for his father.

"Did Peter come to you?" I asked harshly.

"What? No," Remus defended. "I haven't seen him since the shack. Jonathan has been perfectly safe."

Though I didn't notice anything around me, I did notice that he looked hurt that I would think Jonathan was in danger while in his care.

"Not now," I said, trying to reign in my anger. "Before, in seventy-nine. Did he come to you? Did Pete find you?"

Remus sighed and glanced over my shoulder, presumably at his father, as his shoulders slumped.

"I thought you would have told her," Lyall said, sounding much calmer than he had outside.

"What's going on?" Jonathan asked. "Tell her what?"

I continued to stare at Remus. My breath was becoming uneven, my vision blurry. Remus sighed again.

"Yes," he confessed at last. "He came to me is September of seventy-nine."

"What…what did he say? What did he tell you…about…about me?"

"I think you already know what he said."

"I need to hear it from you."

"Kate…"

"Damnit, Remus, just answer the question!"

"He said you were dead!" he yelled back. Then he repeated it softer. "He told me you were dead, and that I…that I was the reason why."

I could feel my lungs restricting. My vision was clouding over even more. There was a gentle pressure on my elbow as someone tried to lead me away. My feet shuffled along to keep up. I nearly tripped several times. When my elbow was released with a gentle push, I fell onto a firm mattress as my legs collapsed beneath me. I looked up at Remus; he stood at the lone window with his back to me.

"Tell me…" I took a deep breath. "Tell me everything."

He did just that. I felt my heart ripping open. All this time I'd been harboring a deep resentment because Remus never came to find me, because he never tried to look me up after James died, because he never so much as sent me an Owl with his condolences. Now I knew why. Why would you send an Owl to a dead girl?

"Why didn't you say something sooner? Why didn't you tell me this when I told you about the illusion?"

The bed gave way as Remus sat down beside me. "Because I didn't…Because I thought… I wasn't…"

He couldn't get the words out, but I sucked in a sharp breath as I realized what he was trying to say.

"You thought I sent him."

"I wasn't sure, but…yes. After I found out about the illusion, I thought you may have sent him as a way to make the illusion stick."

I nodded, and then I confessed. "I did."

Remus dropped his head to his chest, but I could see his jaw tighten.

"I did send him, but…but it wasn't supposed to go like that."

Remus looked up at me; I could see the pain in his eyes and I had to look away.

"As soon as Jonathan was born, in those first few days, I knew what a mistake it had been not telling you I was pregnant. I knew I owed you more than that; I owed you an explanation as to why I left, as to why I'd been so distant, so cold towards you. I knew you deserved to know you had a son, but more importantly… I knew this perfect, beautiful, innocent child deserved to know you. He deserved to know his father.

"I had to find you, to tell you, but I couldn't leave the charm for that long. I knew James wouldn't do it. He was still too mad. He blamed you for my broken heart; he refused to accept that I was just as much at fault, if not more. And Sirius…Sirius would have conferred with James before going. But Pete…. _'I'd do anything for you, Kate.'_ "

I swiped at my tears. "I knew Peter was the only one I could trust to deliver my message. I didn't care how he found you, I just needed him to do it. He was supposed to tell you that we were fine…that we were _both_ fine. And that if you wanted to meet your son, then we would work something out; we'd find a way to make it happen.

"I wanted…I wanted you to come home. I wanted to feel whole again. But when Peter….when he came back, weeks later…it felt like I was breaking all over again. He said…he said that you didn't want me…that you thought…you were where you belonged. He said, that you said, you were better off without me. I had given you one last chance…"

"And you thought I said 'no,' that I'd walked out again," Remus finished and I nodded. "So all this time you thought I had made my choice to leave."

"And you thought I was dead."

"So neither one of us tried to contact the other."

There was a moment of silence as we looked straight ahead, unable to look at each other. Then I asked, "When was our love no longer enough to sustain us?"

"I… I'm not sure."

We turned towards each other, and I knew our decisions had been made for us, however unwilling we may have been. For now, there was no going back; there was no "us." We'd lost an integral part of our relationship. We'd be civil for Jonathan's sake. We'd find a way to both be in his life. We'd trade off holidays…or something like that. But, for now, there could be no more Kate and Remus; they were a thing of the past.

I pulled myself together and wiped the tears from my eyes. I stood up and stepped away from the bed, distancing myself from him already.

"I have to get to the Burrow. I promised to help Molly with dinner. We'll be in touch; Christmas may be weird this year, but we'll work something out if you want."

Remus nodded but remained on the bed, keeping the distance between us and yet somehow increasing it as well.

"I hope you have fun at the Cup."

With nothing else to say, I left.

 **XXX**

Jonathan had sense enough not to say anything as we left Remus', but once we were outside the Burrow he put his hand on my arm.

"Mum? Are you alright?"

I pushed back the lingering tears and nodded. "Yes. I'm… I _will_ be fine."

"Did Dad…"

"No," I said quickly. "Your father didn't do anything. Don't be mad at him. I'm fine. I promise," I added when he looked skeptical. "Go on now. I think Harry's already here."

"You sure?"

"Yes, Jonathan, I'm sure."

He grinned, somewhat reluctantly, and took off towards his friends. I followed at a slower pace. My mind was reeling from my conversation with Remus; we were over, fully and finally over, but I knew it would do no good to dwell on it. So I pushed it aside as best as I could.

I had to duck as soon as I entered the kitchen to avoid a flying pan.

"Oh! Katherine, I'm so sorry dear. I didn't see you enter."

"It's ok, Molly," I said. "What can I do to help?" I had told Remus that I promised to help Molly cook, but that was more of an excuse to leave quickly. I'd done my share of crying around him, and didn't feel like doing anymore.

"Oh no, dear, don't worry about it. You can go on out to the garden and relax."

"Please, Molly." My voice cracked against my will and her head snapped in my direction.

"Katherine? What's the matter?"

"I'm fine. I just need a distraction." I wiped at my eyes. The way she looked at me I knew she understood.

"Potatoes," she said. "They need peeling."

I nodded and transfigured a nearby fork into a peeler. As I began the mundane task of peeling, Molly carried on a conversation with me by herself. When I was about halfway through the potatoes, I joined in. She didn't ask what had me so upset, and I didn't ask about repaying her for the tickets; I knew she'd never go for that. I'd have to find another way to repay her. Maybe I could find some Celestina Warbeck tickets for her and Arthur while the kids were still in school.

With the potatoes all peeled, sliced, and seasoned, Molly handed me a stack of plates and asked that I carry them out to the tables. Upon entering the garden I saw that the two tables were being propelled through the air and used as battering rams. I called out to the two perpetrators with a sigh.

"Fred! George! What are you…"

"Yes, Professor Porter?" the twins said together as they suddenly popped up beside me. I gave a little yelp of surprise. The tables, however, were still flying in the air.

"My…apologies, boys," I said as I eyed the real perpetrators still in action. I recognized one of them as I walked over. "Well, if it isn't Charlie Weasley. How is the dragon handling coming?"

"It's always an adventure," the second eldest Weasley said, looking slightly perplexed.

"You may not have been in my class, Mr. Weasley, but a name has a way of getting about."

"Professor Porter." He smiled, recalling where he had seen me. "Sorry, it's been awhile."

"It hasn't been _that_ long," I said. "And you can call me Katherine now if you like; you're not in school anymore."

I turned my attention to the other boy and knew instantly who he must be, though we had never met. He appeared to be a laid back sort of bloke. He was about the same height as Remus, maybe a fraction shorter, and he was dressed for a rock concert in a tee-shirt and jeans and a pair of dragon hide boots. His long red hair was pulled back into a ponytail, showing his fanged earring that dangled from one ear. He was young, but not a bad looking bloke.

But he wasn't Remus, and my heart ached for that.

"And you must be Bill," I said, forcing a smile.

"Mum's been talking, I take it."

"All the time. So I must say, it is a pleasure to finally have a face with a name."

"I think the pleasure is mine, Katherine." Bill held out his hand and I shook it. "If there's anything you need while you're here, just let me know."

"Well…" I grinned. "I would like a pair of tables with all their legs attached to set these plates on." I pointed over my shoulder to the pile of plates that floated there.

"Oh…right." Bill's cheeks tinted ever so slightly as he and Charlie brought the tables back to the ground. Then Bill waved his wand and repaired the broken leg and summoned tablecloths.

As we sat down for dinner, Molly worked it so that Bill and I were sitting next to each other. I shared a look with him; he too had noticed his mother's not-so-subtle way. I have to admit though, he's a very good conversationalist. I was impressed with how much Astronomy he still remembered years after leaving Hogwarts.

After dinner, we chased the kids off to bed and Molly, Arthur and I sat outside a bit longer. Molly moved in closer to me while Arthur went to fetch us a nightcap. For a while, Molly and I just gazed up at the night sky. I was never more content than when I had a sky full of stars.

"This is what I miss most about living in the country. You can't get a view like this in Little Whinging, no matter how many dimming charms you cast."

"Have you ever thought about moving back to the country?" Molly asked.

"Oh yes! All the time, and I may…one day. When Harry no longer needs me living across the street."

Molly smiled. "Things seemed to have improved for you on that end."

"He's certainly not as cold as he was at the beginning of summer, but it's still not what it used to be."

"Well, it doesn't have to be what it was; it can be something new now, perhaps something better."

"Perhaps."

"Don't worry, dear; I believe it will be." Molly encouraged with a friendly pat on my leg.

Arthur returned then with a bottle of wine, three glasses, and three pairs of furry earmuffs (like those used in Herbology when working with mandrakes.) I stared at the earmuffs for a moment.

"I'm a little afraid to ask this around here, considering two of your sons…and mine in particular, but, what are the earmuffs for?"

"Oh! They're for our night beverage. I picked it up from the local market. The Muggles call it _whine_ ," Arthur said as he placed his earmuffs on.

I tried very hard not to laugh. "May I see the bottle please?"

"Sure."

Arthur passed the bottle down. I studied it carefully and it was just as I suspected. It was an _ordinary_ cheap bottle of Muggle _wine_. I bit my lips to keep from laughing out loud.

"Arthur," I said carefully. "Muggle wines don't actually _whine_."

"Really?" he asked excitedly.

"Really."

"Fascinating!"

"Well who cares if they whine. Are they any good?" Molly asked.

"Some are better than others. This one happens to be one of the best for its price range." I popped the cork and poured us each a glass.

"And you're certain of this?"

"Molly, I'm the single mother of a teenage wizard," I said with all seriousness. "I have a secret love affair with cheap wine and good bath salts."

Molly giggled as we clinked our glasses together and said cheers. Molly and Arthur both took tentative sips while I drank nearly half my glass and refilled it. Neither of them asked what I knew they wanted to, so after a glass and a half, I offered it up freely.

"I picked Jonathan up from his father's today," I said. "And _his_ father was there."

"Lyall?" Arthur asked and I nodded.

"Oh dear," Molly gasped. "Was this the first time you've spoken with him since…"

"It's the first time I've spoken with him, yes. But he owled me earlier this summer; he had a few…choice words for me, but I never responded. I didn't see the point. He would have continued to believe what he wanted to."

"How did Jonathan react to it?" Molly asked.

"Fortunately, Jonathan wasn't around at the moment. So I'm not sure how much he knows about it. You know, I… I thought I was beyond all this. I thought I had moved past it. I thought I was over _him_ , but all I really did was shove it into a box in the back of my mind. I never really dealt with the pain of losing him. This past year I've been forced to shuffle through it all, and old scars have been re-opened, and...it hurts. God does it hurt. I've never been so ready for school to start back so I can get back to normal."

Both Molly and Arthur snorted a bit, and I wiped the few stray tears from my eyes.

"I don't think things will be very normal this year at Hogwarts," Arthur said. "Not with the tri-Wizard Tournament going on."

"Oh I know, but believe me, Arthur. A quiet year at Hogwarts would be considered abnormal."

"'Ere-hic-'ere," Molly said with a hiccup.

I smiled and finished off my glass. "Well, I think it's time I head to bed as well."

"Are you sure we can't get you anything else?" Arthur asked as we made our way inside.

"There's plenty of rue-ume in with Ginny and Her-mynee," Molly said.

"No, let the girls sleep. I'll be fine on the couch. Actually, I think the leopard would be quite pleased outside tonight, but then she might chase the gnomes too much. I'll see you all in a few hours."

We waved goodnight as they headed up the stairs and I settled in on the couch.

* * *

 **Well...only one chapter to go...I'm a little sad to see part two end, but so excited to begin part 3.**


	32. The World Cup

**A special treat for you...**

* * *

 **Chapter 31**

 **The World Cup**

The next morning was an early one. I could have waited and simply apparated in with Bill, Charlie, and Percy, but I woke up when Molly came down to make breakfast and I figured Arthur could use the extra hand. The kids came down in daze. After a quick meal, and a bit of excitement as Molly emptied the pockets of Fred and George, we set off towards the portkey.

"I hate to see hard work wasted," I said softly as I walked alongside the twins once we were out of sight of the Burrow. They had been trying to sneak some ton-tongue-toffees, a creation of their own hand, into the World Cup for…research, I'm sure, but Molly had forced them to throw them all away.

The twins looked at me with identical, long faces.

"Find a way to reverse it, and package them together, and never give them to a Muggle, even one as pig-headed as Dudley."

I smiled and placed two ton-tongue-toffees into each of their hands. Their faces lit up instantly.

"And your mother is to never, _ever_ know about this moment. I'll only deny it if word gets out."

"We swear, Professor Porter—"

"—she won't hear it from us."

"Don't swear…unless you do it solemnly." I winked at them and then hurried along the trail.

Jonathan jogged up beside me. "You do realize that now they're back there trying to figure out if you know about the map."

"Well, I'd be a little disappointed if they weren't," I replied.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just tell them?"

"You mean about Kate?"

"I mean about _you_ ," he said pointedly.

"Sirius believes the fewer people that know the better, and I agree. Besides…it wouldn't be as fun to mess with them."

"Dad's right, you do…"

I grimaced slightly and unintentionally at the word 'dad.'"

"Why do you do that?" Jonathan asked.

"Do what?"

"Every time I call Remus 'Dad'…"

My lips twitched uncontrollably.

"…you do something like that."

"I really don't know what you're talking about," I lied.

"You flinch or pull a face every time."

"I do not."

"Oh really? … I really liked going to _Dad's_ this summer."

A muscle twitched and I fought to hide it.

"You know _Dad_ has this…

I pressed my lips together tightly.

"Have you seen _Dad's_ …"

"Jonathan please," I said urgently as I stopped walking. I pulled him to the side out of the way of the others. "Alright, fine, if you must know…yes it bothers me slightly. I had you all to myself for nearly fifteen years; I was the most important person in your life, and now I have to share you with someone else. So please bear with me as it may take a while for me to adjust to that."

"Do you…would you rather I not call him… _that_?" he asked, looking a little worried.

"No…I won't ask you to take that away from him; I've seen how happy it's made him already, and I think I've caused him enough pain. Besides, he is your…Dad. I just…it will take some time, but I will get used to it."

"Alright…"

We started walking again.

"While we're talking about… _him_ …" Jonathan hesitated. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything you wish," I replied.

"Right. Is there any chance you two might get back together?"

"Jonathan, I…" I sighed. That was the last thing I was expecting, and I really didn't know what to say.

"It's alright if you don't," he said quickly. "It's like you said, I've had you all to myself for the last fifteen years, so I'm used to it. But...it's alright if you do as well. I just want you… I think you deserve to be happy, Mum, and if it's not with Dad, then…" I could see his smirk spreading across his cheeks. "Then I think you should give Bill a shot."

I laughed loudly, causing several heads to turn back and look at us.

"Alright, that's it. No more talking to Molly for you."

"What? I saw you two at dinner last night. You seemed to be hitting it off."

"Really, Jonathan? If you want to ask about Bill, then I want to ask about Katie."

His eyes grew wide and his smirk faded. "What? No. We are not talking about her. You won't get anything out of me."

"Fine. Then I'll just ask your father."

It was Jonathan's turn to stop walking.

"No. He wouldn't do that."

"You think I don't have ways of making him talk?"

Jonathan's eyes grew even wider. "Bill who? I didn't say anything about any Bill."

Then he ran ahead to catch back up with the group, and I knew. There was definitely _something_ going on with Katie.

 **XXX**

Shortly thereafter we met up with Amos Diggory and his son Cedric. We searched for the portkey together which turned out to be a mangy old boot. Traveling by portkey, to me, was less fun than apparating, especially in such a large group. I'm pretty sure I took an elbow to the eye from Amos, not that he would have admitted it if I confronted him though. At least I managed to stay on my feet when we landed.

The match was a whirlwind of excitement. The Irish scored almost right out of the gate and the action remained non-stop. In the end, Viktor Krum caught the snitch for Bulgaria, but the Irish were leading by 160 points so they still won. It was mayhem back at the tent that night.

"Mum, why do you have to be such a terrible flyer?" Jonathan whined.

"Gee, Jonathan, way to sugarcoat it. You know, your father's not _that_ great of a flyer either."

"Yeah? But at least he can stay on the broom."

Bill, who was sitting across the table from me, laughed at my expense.

"That bad at it, are you?" he asked.

"Oh, I'm complete rubbish," I confessed with a laugh.

" _Complete_ rubbish," Jonathan emphasized.

"Oh shove off!" I said as I shoved him away.

Jonathan stumbled away laughing. Bill laughed too. It was a nice laugh, but I couldn't help notice the difference in its timbre to a certain other laugh. I continued to smile though, however slightly dimmed, when his blue eyes met mine. There was a depth to them that couldn't be discounted easily.

Suddenly there was a loud noise that sounded like a small explosion. Fred and George laughed and commented on the Irish and their celebrating. The thin hairs on the back my neck stood on end though, and my ears detected the sound of screaming, not cheering.

"I don't think that's the Irish," I said.

I glanced towards Arthur and we both shot out of our chairs and made for the tent flap; Bill and Charlie were close behind. A few rows up a large mob was forming, and in its midst were a group of masked men who looked like Death Eaters. They were marching down the lane and blasting tents out of their way. All around people were fleeing in hysteria. Drifting high above the Death Eaters, in a terrible display, was a Muggle family by the name of Roberts we'd met on our way in.

I was filled with unbridled rage as one of the Death Eaters flipped Mrs. Roberts upside down revealing her knickers. The mob surrounding them laughed and jeered as she tried to cover herself. I looked sideways and shared a look with Arthur before glancing towards Bill and Charlie. Their jaws were locked as they gave a single nod my way.

"We're going to go help the Ministry," Arthur told the kids. "You lot get to the forest. Fred, George, Ginny is your responsibility."

"I want to help," said Harry.

"No!" I replied quickly. "Not this time, Harry; I'm sorry. You neither, Jonathan. Now go, all of you, and stick together."

As they headed towards the forest and away from the mob, Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Percy, and I all ran towards the mob with our wands drawn. There were other Ministry officials there too, trying to break up the mob. It wasn't easy work as we didn't want to start an all-out wand fire that might further endanger the Roberts family.

We tried going at the mob one at a time by stunning, silencing, or disarming them. But for every one we took out another seemed to take their place. Meanwhile, the children were spinning so much that they were getting sick and floating in their own pools.

"This is getting us nowhere," I said.

"We need to get in among them, get to the center of it so we can take out the Death Eaters," Bill said.

"Katherine!" Arthur turned to me. "Can you squeeze through if you transform?"

"Transform?" Bill questioned.

"I'm an Animagus," I said quickly before answering Arthur. "No, I don't think so. The mob's too thick."

Arthur swore in a manner that was very unlike him.

"But maybe…" I began looking around for anything that might help. All there was, though, were tents.

"What? Do you have a plan?" Arthur asked.

"A plan?" I laughed. "No. But a fool-hearty-Gryffindor notion….yeah."

"Tell us," Bill said.

"I can use the tents to get higher and then leap over the crowd. It's risky, and dangerous, but if it works I can get the kids to safety at least."

"Risky and dangerous?" Charlie asked, joining us again. "What are we waiting for?"

"Alright, but I need you all to cover me. I won't be able to defend myself against spells once I've changed. I'll go for the youngest first."

With a plan made, we moved to the side and out of the path of the mob. I tried to line myself with the youngest child while also looking for the sturdiest tents. Then I let the leopard take over. My bones shifted effortlessly as I transformed.

I knew the strongest part of the tent would be the ends, so that's where I jumped. Still, the tent gave way slightly beneath my weight. I quickly leapt to the next one, and the next. When there were no more tents between me and the child, I pushed off with all my strength.

The child's eyes caught my yellow ones and widened in fear. She screamed as she tried to get away, but the Death Eater's spell kept her locked in place. I shifted back into my normal self in mid-air and wrapped my arms around her small body. My force broke through the spell and for a moment we were both falling. Then I flipped us over and apparated.

I landed hard on my back and the child's head slammed into my chest knocking the air from my lungs. For a moment I lay immobile on the wooden floor. I didn't really know where else to take the child, so I'd taken her back to her house. I lay heaving painfully for air, unable to even groan in pain until the pain swept over me all at once and I screamed in agony. The young girl scrambled off of me. She was frightened, but appeared to be unharmed. I tried to crawl over to her to soothe her, but she scrambled away from me in fear and cowered in a corner. I can't say that I really blamed her for her fear though; she didn't appear to be any older than six.

"Right…" I groaned. "You're safe now…little one. I'll…I'm going to go get your brother…all right? Stay here."

I slowly pushed myself to my feet; my back protesting every move. I cast a simple protection spell around the lounge before apparating back to the campsite.

"Katherine!" Bill yelled over the roar of the mob. Somehow things had become more manic than when I left. He placed a hand on my shoulder as he leaned forward to talk to me.

"Argh!" I cried in pain.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, but…I'll pay for it in the morning. I have to do it again though. Where's Arthur?"

"We got separated," Charlie said. "But don't worry, we can cover you."

"Be careful," Bill added. "They know someone took the little girl. They'll be expecting you this time."

"I guess it's good I have thick skin then. Come on."

Bill and Charlie nodded and I began the process all over again. I leapt from tent to tent until I launched myself at the boy. I could hear angry shouts below of "There it is!" "Kill the beast!" And the air beneath me lit up in a swarm of colors as several spells were fired my way.

I transformed again just before reaching the boy. At the same moment I began changing, however, I felt the sharp sting of a spell hitting my side. I wrapped the boy in my arms, flipped over, and apparated back to the house despite the pain that was flaring up inside me. This time I came down on my side, the same side that was hit, and the wooden table I landed on shattered beneath me.

"Dill-when!" the little girl cried.

"Sophie!" The boy disentangled himself from my arms and ran to his sister in the corner.

I could feel tears leaking from my eyes as something warm and sticky seeped through my shirt. My ribs were screaming in agony. But as long as Dylan and his sister were unharmed, that was what mattered. I forced myself into a sitting position, clutching at my side.

"You're hurt," Dylan said. I looked up to see that he was looking at me and not his sister.

I shook my head. "It's nothing," I grimaced in a great swell of pain. "You…what about you? And your sister?"

"We're alright, thanks to you."

"Dill-when, I wan' Mummy," Sophie said as she started crying.

"It's alright, Sophie. It's going to be alright. The Cat-Lady's going to go help Mum now. Aren't you?" Dylan turned back to me.

I nodded and shoved back the tears that still wanted to fall. "Yes…yes." I stood up, despite the pain it caused me. "Dylan, look after Sophie. You have to protect her."

Dylan nodded and with a great effort I apparated once more.

I stumbled and lost my footing upon landing. Had it not been for Charlie's seeker reflexes, I would have fallen. As it was, however, he caught me around the waist; I groaned in agony. I instantly noticed a difference in the atmosphere around us. The mob was breaking up, fleeing really. People were running into each other everywhere, knocking Charlie, Bill and I around. Finally the two brothers managed to pull me into a little nook between two smoldering tents.

"What's going on? What happened?" I asked.

"That did," Charlie said, pointing up at the sky over the forest.

I looked in the direction he indicated and instantly saw what had everyone running and screaming. My instincts had me wanting to run as well; only, I would have run to the forest and not away from it. Floating high above the tree tops, made of green smoke, was a giant skull with a serpentine tongue protruding from the open mouth. It was the Dark Mark.

"Jonathan…"

My instincts took over my legs and I made to head towards the forest. Almost instantly, however, I collapsed. Charlie caught me again around the waist.

"Katherine, you can't go in there," Bill said.

"Like hell I can't! My son is there! Harry's in there! I have to go!" I protested. I tried again, but again I only stumbled.

"You're bleeding and you can barely stand up; you won't make it that far."

"Dad's gone in there," Charlie said. "He'll find Jonathan and the others. I'm sure they're probably already on their way back."

"Let's get you back to the tent and get you tended to. You wouldn't want Jonathan to see you injured like this, would you?"

Bill had a point. Jonathan would freak out if he saw me like that. And yet my maternal instincts were telling me to run into the forest after my son. I was at war with myself over what I should do.

"Fine," I said though clenched teeth. "Tent first, but the moment this wound is sealed then I'm going after my son."

The two Weasleys consented and began helping me hobble back to the tent, as they didn't think it was safe for me to apparate in my condition. Along the way we met up with Percy who had sustained a bloody nose somehow; I don't recall seeing him anywhere during the fight. Once inside, Bill summoned a sheet from the nearest bed, which happened to be his, and tore it into strips. He kept one for himself and placed it against his forearm which was bleeding pretty heavily too. Meanwhile, Charlie took the other strips and soaked them with his wand. I peeled away my shirt from where it was beginning to stick to my side and lifted it just enough for Charlie to access.

"You're mother never told me you studied healing as well," I said in an attempt to distract myself from the pain.

"Well, dragons aren't always the friendliest of creatures," he said. "It's good to know a few basic spells."

"Did you break anything?" Bill asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing but the table I went through."

"You may have bruised some ribs though. You should see a professional healer at your first opportunity," Charlie said.

"I'll see Poppy first thing Monday morning."

"Mum!" Jonathan suddenly cried as he entered the tent; Charlie was still addressing my side. "What happened?"

"I'm fine, Jonathan. I jusssss…" I hissed as Charlie suddenly touched a very sore spot.

"Sorry," he said.

"Doh—don't be."

"What happened?" Jonathan asked again.

"Your mother was just showing off her bad-arsery skills," Bill said. "She leapt into the fray to rescue the two kids. Where did you take them, by the way?"

"Back to their house. I didn't know where else to go, but I placed a simple protection spell around them before I left."

"Won't it fade if you're not there to sustain it?"

"Not this one; it's of my own making. It will last until the danger has passed."

"There, that should do it," Charlie said as he stepped back.

I lowered my shirt once more and looked around the tent. Fred, George, and Ginny had come back with Jonathan.

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"We don't know," Ginny said.

"We lost them," Jonathan added.

"What do you mean you lost them?"

"Well, they were right behind us, Professor—"

"—until they weren't," Fred and George said.

"I'll go look for them," Charlie offered seeing as he was the only one who wasn't supporting a wound.

He made it no further than his head out the flap before he called out to his dad. He shuffled back inside the tent. Then to my great relief, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Arthur filed in.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione recapped what happened in the woods for everyone. While the three of them were hiding in the forest, an unknown person cast the Dark Mark in their vicinity with Harry's wand (which he had noticed was missing while they were running.) A bunch of Ministry officials, including Arthur and Barty Crouch, arrived at the scene where they found Crouch's house-elf Winky. Having no other culprit, the blame was placed on Winky and she was dismissed, much to her and Hermione's dismay.

With everyone now accounted for and the adrenaline beginning to wear off, Arthur and I sent everyone to bed. As I lay there, chasing a sleep that would never come, a knot was slowly forming in the pit of my stomach. After thirteen years of peace, Death Eaters were terrorizing Muggles and the Dark Mark had been seen once more. What did this mean exactly? I wanted to push it aside and say they were just the drunken antics of bigoted idiots. But would that simply have been creating another false illusion? If I'd learned anything this past year, it was that even a perfect illusion could unravel with the smallest tug.

 **End of Part 2**

* * *

 **Well...that's it. The end of Part 2. Look for Part 3, _True Reflections_ , to be up soon. It's been a wild year for Remus and Katherine/Kate; they've certainly had their ups and downs (more down than up it seemed at times.) The next part will cover the remaining 4 years/books of the series, so ALOT can (and will) happen between now and then. I do hope you decide to continue to follow the tale of Remus and Kate to see just what lies ahead in _True Reflections_.**

 **I want to think everyone who alerted, favorited, reviewed, and read this story! Your support means the world to me. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you, from the bottom of my heart, Thank you.**


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